Gimme Dat Brew

NBA All-Star Weekend Recap

2010-02-15T21:02:00.003-05:00

The NBA's biggest weekend turned out to be mostly an embarrasment. If you missed it, consider yourself lucky. Here are some of the rare highlights, and myriad of lowlights that occurred over the weekend.

- Maybe the sound wasn't good, but that sure was a quiet group of 108,000 fans yesterday. Seriously Texas, show some damn emotion if you are going to sit there. Most people in the crowd were probably just watching the scoreboard anyway. Probably the only noise that I did hear during the game was the organist GOING TO TOWN in the first quarter. Every single possession featured a new song, without let-up. I think Jerrah Jones killed the organist himself because it went dead silent in the 2nd half, which turned out to be the only way i could keep watching the game.

- Lebron gets a lot of credit for being great with bad teammates, but NOBODY has it worse than Dwyane Wade. He gets forgotten to a certain degree because the Heat are so mediocre, but yesterday he proved that he is on Lebron's level (plus he already has a ring). If Wade gets any sort of players around him before his body wears down, he will do serious damage.

-The only way to make NBA Saturday Night interesting is if more of the big stars participate. The dunk contest is what it is because the greatest players made it special. Yeah Nate Robinson is a good dunker, but everyone wants to see Lebron, D Howard and other STARS competing. It would also help if they cut out some commercials. There is no rhythm to the events because every 5 minutes TNT has to show a Geico commercial.

-Paul Pierce is a good player, but he needs to check himself. Saying shit like he's one of the best shooters of all-time is dumb to begin with, but its even dumber when there is already a greater shooter on his own team. Ray Allen must have given the stink-eyes of all stink-eyes when he heard Pierce's victory speech. Truth should go back to flopping on drives to the hoop and pretending to show gang signs to boost his imagined street cred instead of staying he is an all-time great shooter.

-Even funnier than Pierce's boasts was Kenny Smith saying he was a top-10 Celtic of all time. Rightfully so, he got clowned by Ernie and the gang immediately. It takes hard work to say something dumber than my boy Chuckster, but Kenny outdid himself this time.

- Sadly, the most enlightening moment of the entire weekend when Mark Cuban pretty much guaranteed a lock-out after next year. I side with the players in the argument. Its not their fault the owners are dumb enough to give them so much money. Now its their responsibility to bear the "corrections" that need to take place? Bullshit. Maybe if teams didn't give fools like Samuel Dalembert 65 million dollar contracts, they wouldn't be losing money.

- Finally, the best moment of the weekend, by far, were Shakira's hips. In retrospect, I don't really care that Saturday night blew and a somnambulant crowd ruined a really good All-Star game, because I got to imagine the severe dicking I would give to Shakira. My god, that girl is BAD.

Deconstructing Danica

2010-02-09T18:21:00.003-05:00

Later this week, Danica Patrick is going to race in a Nascar Race at Daytona. (Well not a real Nascar race, just a Nationwide race). This has become THE big story in auto racing, as it is seen as a great step forward for women. However, once you peel away all the politically correct bullshit that will undoubtedly be spun, all you are left with is a hollow story about a bad driver with nothing more than a (sort-of) pretty face.

If Danica Patrick's racing career in one word, it would be dissapointment. For a while it seemed like she might actually be everything she claimed to be: the first female driver in American auto racing history who could actually be legitimately competitive on a consistent basis. Then, we all found out that she sucked. Despite racing in some of the best equipment in the IRL and having a built-in advantage of weighing significantly less than her fellow competitors (which would theoretically make her car go faster), she was an also-ran. Even her well publicized victory in Japan was more a factor of luck than skill. Danica didn't really win the race, she just had the good fortune of the best cars running out of gas ahead of her. She had about the same success of her much less-heralded female competitors Milka Duno and Sara Fisher even with all of her built-in advantages. In other words, she was the IRL's Dick Trickle.

Now she's basically getting a free opportunity in NASCAR to try and force us to respect her, simply because she's a woman driving a car. Look, I have no problem with her racing, my problem is with her getting chance after chance to prove something that she is not, basically worthy of our respect and of her lofty stature in our society. She has never been anything more than a glorified novelty act her entire career.

Now all of the feminine drones out there will probably scream that I am misogynistic, but nothing could be further from the truth. I'd be totally cool with her getting attention and accolades IF SHE HAD ACTUALLY EARNED IT. If she goes out and dominates this Nationwide Series and eventually becomes a solid competitor in NASCAR then I will be happy for her, but don't try to make me eat a turd sandwich by hiding it in a Five Guys wrapper.

One more thing, I'd have a lot more respect for Danica Patrick if she was true to her word. She hypes up all this shit about how she wants, and deserves, to be respected as a female. Well at best, this leaves her as a hypocrite, because as we see in her advertisements for Godaddy.com and numerous auto care products, she blatantly uses her looks and not her driving skill to garner attention. At worst, this leaves her at a much uglier Anna Kournikova. Don't play the respect card and then turn around and stump for the most disturbing and embarrasing website I've ever seen. And don't expect respect as a woman when you pose half-naked in every magazine you've ever come across.

Maybe this whole essay comes off as harsh, but sometimes the truth is. Danica Patrick is a fraud until proven otherwise. Maybe one day she will have earned her title as a solid race car driver and respectable role-model, but until then she's doing nothing but wasting gasoline and commercial time. There are better drivers than you Danica, and there are prettier faces too. Keep selling the lie, but Young Swole ain't buying.

THE BREW IS BACK

2010-02-08T22:15:00.003-05:00

Aussie Open Predictions

2009-01-25T19:43:00.003-05:00

The Aussie Open is about to switch into overdrive, with some of the dankest matchups ever seen by man bound to take place. GDB's resident tennis experts Young Swole and Young Knucklers took time out of one of there battles at Cascade Courts to predict the winners of the remaining round of 16 matches and also 2 quarterfinals. Here are our predictions complete with cutting insight and brutally honest analysis.

Sweet 16 Matchups

Rafael Nadal (1) -vs- Fernando Gonzalez (13)

Swole - Nadal. "Gonzo makes errors, Nadal does not."
Knasty - Nadal. "Too much Peezy"

Gilles Simon (6) -vs- Gael Monfils (12)

Swole -Monfils. " Monfils has too much speed and youthful exuberance"
Knasty - Simon. "He is the happier frenchman"

Andy Murray (4) -vs- Fernando Verdasco (14)

Swole - Murray. "Murray is well-rested and is hungry for spanish blood"
Knasty - Murray. "I dont knowwwwwww"

James Blake (9) -vs- Jo-Wilfried Tsonga (5)

Swole - Blake. "Blake is hongry and Tsonga's back condition will hurt him"
Knasty - Blake. "Bigger and Blacker"

Monday's Quarterfinals

Roger Federer (2) -vs- Juan Del Potro (8)

Swole - Federer. "Potro is going to clam up on such a big stage."
Knasty - Federer "Del Potro loves the sticky too much"

Andy Roddick (7) -vs- Novak Djokovic (3)

Swole - Djokovic. "Djokovic advances in an epic 5 set brew battle, then throws a chair"
Knasty - Roddick. "Roddick has the hotter bitch and pleasures him in the sweet spot aka diggity deez nuts"

Mid - January Observations

2009-01-22T13:32:00.002-05:00

Busy times in sports lately, so its only natural that Young Swole makes some of his famous observations

- Congrats to the Steelers and Cardinals first off. All these announcers saying the Cardinals are a fluke need to get off of it. They have proven to have the best team in the NFC and are no doubt a worthy adversary to the Steelers. They have the best receiver in the NFC in Larry Fitz, and one of the most clutch quarterbacks in league history in Kurt Warner. Its funny how he is forgotten and everybody hypes up guys like Romo, Favre and the Mannings, while it can be argued that Warner has had a better career than all of them. If he wins the Super Bowl there is no doubt he is a hall of famer and will have passed all of the aforementioned in every important way.

- People need to lay off of Anquan Boldin. All of these clowns eager to sacrifice another black guy for his actions probably do not realize the course of events that even led up to Sunday's game. Boldin got a low-ball offer from the Cards this past offseason, reported anyway, nearly got decapitated but balled out all season anyway, then got injured and courageously came back to play last Sunday. Now, because he has one argument with his offensive coordinator ( an event that happens ALL THE DAMN TIME) he is perceived as yet another selfish black receiver who thinks about himself more than the team. Fuck that. Do your homework before you crucify another man. Boldin has always been a team player and has sacrificed his own health for the betterment of the team. He was only mad because he wanted to help the team, not because he was wanting to "get his".

- Onto basketball. It pains me to say this but the Oklahoma Thunder are going to be very good in the near future. They already have the best 2nd year player in Kevin Durant, and now have the best rookie in Russell Westbrook. Their record is still terrible, but this may let them luck into getting a Blake Griffin type player this fall. If the Thunder get a top 5 pick, they are going to be battling the Blazers at the top of the West in no time. It sure would have been nice to have Seattle and Portland in a heated rivalry, and as a Sonics fan i can say that no one deserves the future success of the Thunder (wtf) less than Clay Bennet and his city of dust lovers. I hope Durant and Westbrook leave town the first chance they get and that franchise folds.

- Aussie Open is the crunkness. Nothing beats watching tennis every night during the middle of January. If you can't appreciate the athleticism of these players than go kill yourself. It appears that the 2nd week of the tournament could go down as one of the best ever. 5 sick players are alive on the men's side (Fed, Nadal, Djok, Murray, Tsonga) and their quarterfinal/semifinal matchups are going to be incredible. Plus, darkhorses Marcos Baghdatis and Mardy Fish meet tonight in a crucial 3rd round matchup, and Federer still has to face the talented Marat Safin before he can even think of the other dudes out there. Incredible. The women's side may not be as exciting or aesthetically pleasing as last year (No Vaidisova or Kirilenko) but watch our for Caroline Wozniacki to make a big run. The top seeds have looked OK but not unbeatable, and young Weezy may be ready to go on a huge run. She has the talent, and Swole approves of her looks as well. Church.

- What an awesome start to conference play in college basketball. Every night seems to feature a slugfest between ACC and Big East teams. These two conferences are so far ahead of the others its laughable. Depending on how the brackets are divided up, i think its entirely possible that these 2 conferences could make up the entire Elite 8. With that said, here is Swole's 1st team all-americans to this point so far.

G - Jonny Flynn, Syracuse
G - Jeff Teague, Wake Forest
F - Gerald Henderson, Duke
F - Blake Griffin, Oklahoma
C - DeJuan Blair, Pitt

(Hansbrough lovers go fall off a cliff. He can't pass at all, has no post moves besides a flailing half hook shot, and travels nearly every time he has the ball. He gets by on effort and physicality, but he is not half the player Blair is, and i hope they match up at some point so that Hansbrough's soul gets taken from him in front of a nationwide audience)

There's a lot more going on that i will get to soon including: Football recruiting, the long wait to baseball season, the gayness of Winter X and more NBA analysis. Until then, peace out little clams.

BCS Championship Predictions

2009-01-07T22:11:00.002-05:00

I hate both these teams. I hate Tim Tebow. I hate that stupid song that Oklahoma plays after every 3 yard run they make. With that said, its still important to list some key factors to watch for tomorow night:

FOR FLORIDA TO WIN:

- The biggest reason that Oklahoma put up such ridiculous offensive numbers is because Sam Bradford barely got touched all season. For Florida to slow down the Sooners offense, it will be imperative to create some pressure. Remember that Texas had a premier edge rusher in Brian Orakpo, Florida is going to need a Jermaine Cunningham or Carlos Dunlap to provide a similar dynamic on the defensive side.

- Florida also has to be careful to not become one dimensional on offense. Of course we all know Tebow is god and all, but the pattern has been to give him the ball too much when the game is on the line which makes the Gator offense highly predictable. This is why they lost to Ole Miss earlier this year. Even if Percy Harvin's inflamed pussy keeps him out of this game, Urban Meyer has to understand that Jeff Demps and Chris Rainey must get touches. It probably won't be too hard to score on Oklahoma, but Florida will be much likely to make big plays if they let other people than Tebow get the ball.

FOR OKLAHOMA TO WIN

- The first thing they have to do is set a physical tone. Florida has a reputation for being soft in big games. All those pretty boy recievers love to run around and look nice, but they shell up when they get hit in the mouth. If the Sooners can play some smash mouth offense and knock Tebow's weapons off their game, then they've got a shot.

- The Sooners better have learned how to tackle better in practice too. Florida's skill guys are too damn dangerous if you don't wrap up on them. The only defenses that can slow down the Gators have to be fundamentally sound and not make mistakes. This means no yards after the catch, and no stupid penalties.

YOUNG SWOLE'S BRUTAL PREDICTION

Florida is going to lay the wood to Oklahoma for two major reasons. The first is obvious, Oklahoma's defense sucks. They haven't faced an offense with as many playmakers as Florida's to date, and the Gators team speed is going to leave the Sooners' inept defense constantly out of position. The second reason is that Oklahoma is not going to find things as easy on offense as it has lately. Sam Bradford got fat on facing awful defenses all year, but it is going to take him a while to adjust to Florida. Those easy throws are not going to be as wide open as they usually are, and i think this could lead to early turnovers. Combine these two reasons with Oklahoma's propensity to play like ass in big games and the fact that this is basically a home game for the Gators leads to an inevitable rout. Florida wins 55-27

LaDainian Tomlinson, We Hardly Know Ye

2009-01-03T12:23:00.008-05:00

Earlier today, I was watching the ESPN NFL Countdown tools talking about the Colts-Chargers game this evening, specifically, about LaDainian Tomlinson's injury, when Tom Jackson stated "Well, LT is right now a first-ballot Hall of Famer". I turned to a roomate and said I didn't agree with that, that he may be a HOFer right now, but he still has some work to do before he is a first-ballot guy. He disagreed, and the argument ensued.

(Let me preface this by saying that while I am a Colts fan, I am not a homer. I have an appreciation for sports in general and you can usually tell when I am intentionally showing my bias.)

I will not argue that LT is one of the most explosive and talented players that has ever played the game. For the past 8 years, he has consistently been the "best back in the game, today" (apologies to Adrian Peterson, the next big thing). He has an MVP and an impressive single season TD record that he seemed to achieve with frightening ease. But does this really qualify him as a first-ballot Hall of Fame guy? I would argue no.

For you to consider Tomlinson a first-ballot player, then that opens the door for two other current players who would have to be considered first-ballot worthy. First, Kurt Warner.

The problem with Warner is that he has been so hit or miss over the course of his career. He started off his career hot out of the gate, but injuries and politics have shadowed what has otherwise been a great 10 year career:

4-time Pro Bowler
2-time NFL MVP
1-time Super Bowl MVP
1-time Super Bowl Champion

How does that stack up with Tomlinson? Tomlinson has 1 MVP and 5 Pro Bowl invitations, along with the aforementioned TD record. If Tomlinson is a first-ballot HOFer, then certainly Warner is as well?

Ok, it can be tough to compare a RB to a QB with ease, so how about another back? How about Shaun Alexander?

3-time Pro Bowler
1-time NFL MVP

So Alexander doesn't necessarily match up stat for stat with Tomlinson, but (unfortunately for all of us) statistics aren't always the main factor in HOF voting. Voters do take stats into account, but they also include things like MVPs, Pro Bowl appearences, and, for better or worse, Super Bowls. Before Indianpolis won the Super Bowl, and Peyton had his 2 MVPs and his single season TD record, it didn't matter who you asked, Tom Brady the better Hall of Fame candidate. I will not argue that, but the underlying theme here is that although Pey-Pey had the stats, Brady had the the greater glory. That's important in Hall of Fame discussion. Coming back to the subject at hand here, Alexander has the same amount of MVPs as Tomlinson, held that same TD record one year prior to LT breaking it, and (gasp!) played in one more Super Bowl than LT. Is that fair criteria to judge with? Maybe yes, maybe no. But the fact still remains that at this point, there are players who are just as, if not more deserving the be a first-ballot Hall of Famer than LT.

As stated earlier, I will not deny that LDT is a charismatic and phenominal NFL player. He has achieved great success in his first 8 seasons that compare favorably with just about anyone you compare him with. He hasn't played in a Super Bowl (yet) and seems to be slowing down, but he is definitely Hall of Fame material down the road.

But does this make him a first-ballot material at this point in time? I would argue no.

Wild Card Weekend Part Deux

2009-01-03T12:12:00.003-05:00

Wildcard weekend is upon us tomorrow, closes out Sunday with two more great games:

Ravens @ Dolphins (Sun 1:00) - Enough has been said about the turnarounds both of these teams experienced this year. Both rookie head coaches are tops in the Coach of the Year balloting. Both teams have stifling defenses that can shut down anyone. Both have efficient, game managing QBs and solid RB tandems as well. Homefield advantage won't matter much here, though, as Baltimore already showed in Week 7 this year. More of the same tomorrow: Ravens 21, Dolphins 14

Iggles @ Vikings (Sun 4:30) - The two most bipolar teams in the playoffs. Everyone in their mother claims that this is the worst case scenerio match-up for the Vikings: a team that can shut down the run, can spread out the field offensively with the pass, and a far better QB. But if there is one player in this league who can single-handidly change the direction of a game, it's Adrian Peterson (just ask the Packers). The Vikes will live and die by the tempo AP sets in this game, but the Eagles might be the most dangerous team in the playoffs. Eagles 31, Vikings 28

NFL WIld Card Weekend - Where I'll take Terrance Newman's "Most Talented Team in the NFL" Won't Be for $500!

2009-01-02T00:48:00.006-05:00

Wildcard weekend is upon us tomorrow, where we're getting treated to a double header of some ill games Saturday and Sunday. We'll get it started with the Saturday games:

Falcons @ Cardinals (Sat 4:30 pm) - Question: Are the Cardinals an actual playoff team? Answer: Fact, at 8-8 they are a playoff team (thanks Seattle, San Francisco, and St. Louis for remembering the season started). They deserve to be in the playoffs? False! Where has Kurt Warner been since, oh, November? This team is collapsing worse than the Mets in September (snap!).Oh, I'm sorry, am I not paying enough attention to the courageous and outstanding Atlanta Dirty Birds? Sorry, I just figured I had had enough of the media gushing about quaterback wunderkind Matt Ryan and essentially crowning him the next "Golden Boy" of the Media (Sorry Tommy, we're not talking about the Tabloids. Move over Favre). Anyways, I actually do like the Falcons and from every angle, I just can't see Michael Turner not running at will on the Cardinals shoddy run defense. Jonathan Abraham is going to eat Warner alive this Saturday. Falcons 34, Red Birds 21

Indy @ Chargers (Sat 8:00) - It's world renown the love we have for the Colts and their almighty leader, Peyton Manning. The Chargers always bring the heat when they play the Colts (ahem 6 picks, anyone?), and the Colts play to their competition in the playoffs. Which LT is going to show up, if he does show up? Can the Colts offense keep the Colts defense from spending too much time on the field? Will Phillip Rivers a.) cry b.) bitch c.) break his helmet in a Colts victory? These are the questions that I can't wait to get answers to. While the Chargers are have won 4 straight, capped off by an epic dismantling of conference rival, the Mike Shanahan-less, but Shannon Sharpe still representing Denver Broncos, a 9 game winning streak with a win already at San Diego and a return of the buzzsaw that is Demond "Bob" Sanders gives the Colts the edge. Indy 27, San Diego 24

A Solution to College Football's Annual BS Fest

2009-01-01T17:10:00.003-05:00

Over the years we've all been subjected to the debate about whether college football should stick with the bowl system or finally have a playoff to decide its national champion. There are pretty good reasons for both, yet all the dumb solutions we have heard so far conveniently ignore some of not all of them. So as i sit back to watch the likely USC-Penn State train wreck, i thought what better time to unleash a playoff system that can make everyone in college football happy. Read ahead if you have ever been frustrated by stupid bowl matchups, rolled your eyes at retarded playoff plans, or have ever been a pissed off football fan.

THE PLAN

The basic plan that i am endorsing is an 8-team playoff that combines the winners of the major conferences, while leaving space for excellent at-large teams and accomplished mid-majors to be included if they so deserve. This way, the 6 major conferences would all be represented as they are today and there would also be a realistic chance for teams that fall victim to BCS's formulas to shut up and prove it on the field. The tournament would take 3 weeks, with the championship played the January 8th, the week after New Years Day.

The Participants

Here is how the 8 teams would be decided:

- The ACC, Big 10, Big 12, Big East, Pac-10 and SEC champions would automatically be in the field of 8 *IF* they finish the season in the Top 10 of the coaches and AP polls. Therefore, if you are a shitty team that won a wack conference, you can go get ghost. Virginia Tech was an OK team this year, but they in no way belong in a BCS game based on their accomplishment. Same with Cincinnati.

- Mid-Major champions would automatically be included in the field of 8 *if* they win their conference, go undefeated, and finish the season in the top 10 of the AP and Coaches polls. Therefore Utah and Boise State would make the field of 8 this season.

- If there are more than 8 combined big conference and undefeated mid-major teams, the top 8 seeds would be determined based on cumulative AP and coaches poll ranking.

- At-large teams would be selected by highest cumulative AP and Coaches poll rankings. This would reward excellent teams from deep conferences, such as the Big 12 and SEC, while still leaving a great importance on winning your conference and earning the automatic bid and not taking a chance on being an at-large.

This selection process would guarantee that the 8 greatest teams are in the playoffs every single year. If you think there's a better way to choose 8 teams, then tell me how.

THE LOGISTICS

Bowl advocates have bitched about how a playoff system would add too many additional games to the crowded college schedule. Under my system, only two teams would play more than the 14 games that bowl teams play under the current rules, therefore eliminating this lame excuse while still keeping the bowl system under its current form. Here's how it works:

- 2 years ago the NCAA decided to extend the college season from 12 to 13 regular season games. It was basically a way to make more TV revenue. The problem is that most big college teams have filled this game with a worthless cupcake oppenent, making it the equivalent of an NFL preseason game. Under my formula, this 13th game would be eliminated from the schedule. Instead, the quarterfinal of the 8-team playoff would serve as the 13th game for the teams involved. This way, TV ratings would become even higher than they are now.

- Additionally, these quarterfinal matchups *Would be played in the home stadiums* of the 4 highest seeds in the tournament to reward regular season accomplishments and also to preserve revenues that a 13th game could bring into the universities and conferences.

- Both the quarterfinal winner and loser matchups would take place at the existing 4 BCS bowl games (Orange, Rose, Sugar, Fiesta). The locations of the national semifinals, and the consolation games would be rotated similarly to how they are now. That way the big bowl games still get the best matchups, the fans see the best games, and the teams determine who makes the championship in the most pure form. Now the Rose Bowl has been a big bitch in the bowl system for a long time. Their desire to have the Big 10 play the Pac 10 every year has led to decades of shitty matchups. Frankly the time for this is over. Tradition is great and all, as long as the tradition isn't worthless. If the Rose Bowl won't take the matchup its given, then it can peace out to the BCS. Its spot could easily be given to the Cotton Bowl at the new Texas Stadium or the Capital One Bowl at the refurbished Citrus Bowl. Either the Rose Bowl can play the same as the other BCS bowls, or it can enjoy the matchup of the best Big 10 and Pac 10 team outside of the top 8. We'll see how its precious tradition matters at that point.

- The remaining bowl games would be filled as they are now, based on conference rank below the BCS games participants. Under my system, all of these games would be completed by the end of January 1st, so no attention is taken away from the semifinals and championship. It makes no sense that the International Bowl is played on January 6th. Get that shit done with quick.

- Quarterfinals would be played the week after conference championships, which would be moved up a week with the elimination of the 13th game. Therefore, players would still have a break for finals and bowl preparation. The two semifinals would be played on January 1st, at 430pm and 8pm after the completion of all other bowl games.

- The Championship would be played a week from New Years, at a rotating BCS location just as it is now.

After all this, there would be 1 additional game played, the bowl hierarchy would be maintained, EVERYONE makes more money, and the fans see the best games. How can this be a bad thing?

THE TEST RUN

Based on the results of the 2008 regular season, and the system described above, this is how the 8 team field would be determined:

1 seed - Oklahoma Sooners, Big 12 Champ

2 seed - Florida Gators, SEC Champ

3 seed - Texas Longhorns, Big 12 at large

4 seed - Alabama Crimson Tide, SEC at large

5 seed - USC Trojans, Pac 10 Champ

6 seed - Penn State Nittany Lions, Big 10 Champs

7 seed - Utah Utes, Mountain West Champ, undefeated mid-major

8 seed - Boise State Broncos, WAC Champ, undefeated mid-major

Here are the quarterfinal matchups, if these don't make you pitch a tent then go watch golf.

Boise State (8) @ Oklahoma (1), Norman, OK

Utah (7) @ Florida (2), Gainesville, FL

Penn State (6) @ Texas (3), Austin, TX

USC (5) @ Alabama (4), Tuscaloosa, AL

From here the semifinals would be played on New Years day, and out of the bracket a champion would be determined on January 8th, fully earned and justified by regular season and post-season success.

This whole system probably will never work, because its too right and the people in charge are too dumb and greedy to realize a good thing, but it would ensure a rightful champion is crowned, all while keeping the remaining system fully intact and eliminating the ridiculous controversies that have recently plagued college football. If you think you can do better, please let me know, i'll be busy watching a meaningless bowl game.

GDB NFL All-Pro Team

2008-12-31T17:17:00.003-05:00

Before the playoffs start this week, GDB felt it necessary to honor the best players from the regular season. Don't feel bad if your favorite player doesn't make this list, we don't reward reputations here, only pure brilliance and achievement.

Offense

QB - Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints. It was a great year for quarterbacks, even with the injury to Tom Brady. Anyone could argue for Peyton Manning or Matt Ryan to man this spot, but come on. Brees threw for over 5,000 yards with his top 3 recieving weapons out for significant portions of the season and would have made the playoffs if he didn't play in the NFL's toughest division.

RB - Adrian Peterson, Minnesota Vikings. Any time you run for 1,700 yards without people noticing, you know you're damn good. All Day made people in the NFL forget that the Vikes quarterback was Gus F'in Frerotte for most of the year, and thats quite an achievement.

RB - Michael Turner, Atlanta Falcons. The greatest free agent signing of 2008 helped the Falcons make it all the way to an 11-5 record.

LT - Stephen Roos, Tennessee Titans. A lynchpin of one of the strongest offensive lines in the NFL.

LG - Steve Hutchinson, Minnesota Vikings. Still opening up big holes for All Diggity Day, even thought he may not be at an all-world level anymore.

C - Sean O'Hara, New York Giants. Major part of the dynamic and versatile Giants O-Line, helped B Jacobs and Derrick Ward both get over 1,000 yards rushing.

RG - Tyson Clabo, Atlanta Falcons. Symbolic of the Atlanta Falcons newfound success in the power running game.

RT - Jordan Gross, Carolina Panthers. No team had a more dominant running game in the 2nd half of the season than Carolina, and Gross' emergence at right tackle had a lot to do with that.

WR - Andre Johnson, Houston Texans. Simply a man among boys, Johnson is the most dominant individual player in the NFL.

WR - Steve Smith, Carolina Panthers. When he ain't smacking teammates around, he's torching cornerbacks as the most explosive reciever in the game.

TE - Dallas Clark, Indianapolis Colts. Him and Manning were a giant part of the Colts mad dash in the 2nd half of the season.

Defense

DE - DeMarcus Ware - Dallas Cowboys. Despite the pathetic play of his overrated teammates, Ware continues to emerge as the best young edge rusher in the NFL, as evidenced by his 19 sacks and countless QB pressures.

DT - Albert Haynesworth, Tennessee Titans. Buy the hype. Everyone knew he had the talent going back to his Volunteer days, now that he's figured it out there are few as dominant in the game.

DT - Haloti Ngata, Baltimore Ravens. Incredibly athletic for a 350 pound man, Ngata's run stuffing ability has allowed the Ravens' linebackers and safeties to be so aggressive and destructive.

DE - John Abraham, Atlanta Falcons. As a pass rushing specialist there was none better in the game this year. His constant pressure helped save the Falcons in many games this year.

OLB - James Harrison, Pittsburgh Steelers. The best Steeler linebacker since Greg Lloyd. Harrison is as good rushing the passer as he is at stopping the run, and he makes huge plays every game.

MLB - Keith Bulluck, Tennessee Titans. This guy has been a great linebacker for over a decade. His leadership and talent helped make the Titans defense so imposing this year.

OLB - Joey Porter, Miami Dolphins. I never thought i'd include Peezy in a list like this, but it would be ignorant to dismiss his contribution the the miraculous Dolphins turnaround.

CB - Cortland Finnegan, Tennessee Titans. The most physical corner in the NFL.

CB - Ike Taylor, Pittsburgh Steelers. A couple years ago he was benched by his coaches, now he has improved into as close to a shutdown corner as the NFL rules will allow.

FS - Ed Reed, Baltimore Ravens. The best safety the NFL has seen since Ronnie Lott.

SS - Troy Polamalu, Pittsburgh Steelers. Spiritual leader of the best defense in the NFL this season. Can truly do it all on defense.

P - Mike Scifres, San Diego Chargers. Led the league in average, good enough for me.

K - Steven Gostwowski, New England Patriots. Led the league in points, good enough for me.

KR - Johnnie Lee Higgins, Oakland Raiders. Not a great year for kick returners, but this guy scored td's and has an awesome name, which is good enough for me.

Coach of the year - Tony Sparano, Miami Dolphins. Took chances on unwanted players and then coached them up from a 1 win to an 11 win team.

Rookie of the Year - Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons. How is it that he is better as an NFL rookie than he was as a college senior.

NFL Regular Season Recap and other sports observations

2008-12-30T14:29:00.003-05:00

Fall Semester in grad school can be a pretty heady undertaking, and it pretty much claimed Young Swole. I apologize for the lack of content on GDB, but i'm hopeful that i will be able to provide the cutting insight that the millions of readers demand. With that apology, I reflect on the recently completed NFL regular season and other significant events unfolding in the sports universe....

THE DEATH OF HYPE

ESPN tried vainly to stuff aggravating stories like the Dallas Cowboys and Brett Favre down our throats all fall, and to the enjoyment of sane people across our country, both crashed and burned worse than the Hindenberg. First off we have the Cowboys, with their choke-artist quarterback, much-maligned reciever and the rest of the crew. I can't remember such a mediocre team being covered so closely, and I don't think a failure so rife with blame to be dispersed has ever been directed in the wrong directions. Recent days have seen TV commentators (Cris Carter) basically calling for Terrell Owens to be murdered while much greater problems have been largely ignored. Tony Romo continues to be excused of his pathetic play, mostly because he tries hard and bangs a girl that fat sportswriters jerk off to. Jerry Jones has recieved some blame for putting together a bunch of mercenaries and meddling with his coaches, but this has mostly been excused because he really wants to win badly, as if others didn't. Finally Pac Man Jones is made a laughinstock for his Sunday performance, as if he was responsible for Romo and Barber's fumbles and the entire defensive ineptitude. Bottom line here, everyone deserves equal blame, and to lump in entirely on loud black men while excusing white teammates screams of racism.

Onto Favre, who was made the biggest story of the season by ESPN in late summer when he signed with the Jets. He was awful on Sunday, throwing two of the dumbest picks i've ever seen. No one is more responsible for the Jets collapse than him, as evidenced by his 2td to 9int ratio in December. Yet his poor play has been largely excused because he was supposedly injured (as if no one else plays hurt) and that he was "curageous" to try and play in new york. Now we have to endure another offseason of will-he or won't-he when it comes to retirement. If his play is any indicator, then ol' Brett should just hang up his wranglers and go back to nowheresville Mississippi where he belongs.

College Football Preview

2008-09-26T14:28:00.005-04:00

We haven't even reached Saturday and already we've had a colossal upset, as those wacky Beavers of Oregon State once again knocked off a supremely overrated USC team. Somewhere Mark May is fixin' to jump off a ledge, which would make everybody happy. And while this upset would be enough for most fans, we have a full Saturday to go, chock full of huge games across the country. Lets get it.

GDB Brew Battle of the Week

Oh my god to be in Athens, Georgia right now. Everywhere you turn, and everyone you talk to, is completely enthralled by the game tomorrow night in Sanford Stadium between #3 Georgia and #8 Alabama. There are so many angles in play here: 2 top-10 teams, heisman candidates, spectacular freshmen on both sides, return to glory for a famous team, shit-talking, SEC football in primetime, and of course the trim. What this all adds up to is a game, and an entire town, that is nearing bedlam. Lets take a look quickly at how both teams got here and what they do well, and then i'll dare make a prediction for tomorrow

THE TIDE: It hasn't taken Nick Saban long to put his imprint on Alabama. If you watched any of the Tide's victories over Clemson or Arkansas, you would see a superior physical team that plays ball-hawking defense and runs the ball very effectively. And with such a fast start, Saban's young squad is brimming with confidence. Alabama goes 3 deep with solid running backs behind one of the best O-lines in the conference, and have ample playmakers on the outside. On defense, linemen Terrance Cody and Brandon Deaderick have allowed playmaking linebacks like Rolando McClain to feast on opponents running backs. The Crimson Tide is a tough team that is only getting stronger.

Them Dawgs: For some reason the Dawgs have dropped to #3 in the polls despite being 4-0. They are now coming off their most complete game of the season against ASU and look to be coming into their own just as they start the SEC gauntlet. Knowshon Moreno has been spectacular at running back, Matt Stafford looks like the most experienced passer in the conference, and AJ Green has given them the deep threat that hasn't existed in Athens since Fred Gibson turned into a biiig biiiitch. The Dawgs are also doing an incredible job stopping their opponents running game, holding foes to under 50 yards a game. A lot of the credit for the defense has to go to Rennie Curran, who has been without a doubt the best defensive player in the nation, regardless of what idiots in Bristol will tell you. He saved Georgia against Carolina and is good for about 10 impact plays a game. Watch 35 on Saturday and tell me he's not the best linebacker in America.

What will decide this game: There are two huge issues that will decide this game. First is the play on both sides of the interior line. I doubt either Georgia or Bama can win this game if they can't establish the run. While Bama has had the better line units so far, they also have not faced an opposition as strong as the Dawgs. And despite the Dawgs struggles, the team is still averaging near 200 yards per game in rushing while leading the SEC in rushing defense. If young interior linemen like Ben Jones and Cordy Glenn can hold up against human sinkhole Terrance Cody, then Moreno should be able to get to the 2nd level and make his huge plays. It will be key for the Dawgs to mount a pass rush on the Tide as well, something they have not done effectively so far this year. The second big issue in this game will be quarterback play. Georgia appears to have a huge advantage at this position, and John Parker Wilson will have to play mistake-free for the Tide to win. So far this season he has not made the debilitating mistakes he was prone to in years past, but this will be the toughest defense he has faced all year and one mistake could be deadly. For Matt Stafford, he has to be patient and take what Saban's defense gives him. It is certain that he will see some unique coverage looks this week, and he must lean on his running game and preparation to make the correct reads.

Prediction: In week's past I've been very nervous for each Georgia game. I knew we'd struggle against SC despite their shittiness, and I also thought the ASU battle was a definite trap game. Now we're going up against Bama yet i feel very calm about it, because it seems to me as if the Dawgs are starting to come into their own. This is the type of game that players dream of, under the lights against a big time opponent on a national stage. Mark Richt is an amazing big game coach and he will have his boys fired up for the 745 kickoff. And while i don't discredit what Nick Saban can do, I am not sure his young team is quite ready to handle an atmopshere like Sanford Stadium will provide tomorrow night. The first 15 minutes of this game are huge. If Bama can keep it close than anything can happen, if they make a lot of mistakes then Georgia could blow them out of the water. Deep down, I feel like this is the game that Georgia makes its statement to the world that they are still the top Dawgs, and behind the excellence of Moreno, Stafford and Curran, the Dawgs win 28-14 between the hedges.

Other SEC Games:

Tennessee @ Auburn - This one could be really ugly for the Vols. Auburn is going to be pissed off at how they lost to LSU and that defense will be in full out search and destroy mode. Their offense is only getting better, and quite frankly it doesn't look like Tenneseee coaches have a clue of what their doing. I know the Vols usually win games like this and continue to annoy the shit out of you in the process, but i smell ass whooping on the plains. Auburn wins 34-0.

Ole Miss @ Florida - The Rebels seemed slightly frisky this year, until Vandy came in and stole their soul in the 4th quarter. Now they will either cave in or fight even harder against a big name opponent this week. The Rebs have the talent on the D-Line to make life difficult for Tebow, and Jevan Snead could give the Gator defense problems if he's on his game. I think this will be a pretty close game throughout until Flo-Rida pulls away late. UF wins 41-27.

Miss. St. @ LSU - LSU has the biggest win of the season to date against Arkansas. Now they come back to the Bayou to face a struggling MSU squad. If the Bulldogs get more than 7 points I will be shocked. LSU destroys MSU 51-6.

OTHER BIG GAMES AROUND THE COUNTRY:

Illinois (22) @ Penn State(12). The Nittany Lions victory over Oregon State is looking a lot better now after last night, but they still haven't proven much in their fast start. They finally get a ranked opponent with a chance to prove they are the cream of the Big 10 crop. Now that Anthony Morelli has been turned into dog food, Penn State's offense has exploded. And with Illinois sporting one of the wackest defenses in the nation, don't look for the trend to stop. Penn State momentum + a white out in Beaver Stadium = Zook Ether. Penn State wins big 45-14.

TCU (24) @ Oklahoma (2). Oklahoma has been raping scoreboards this year thanks to Sam Bradford's greatness. TCU is a strong team out of the suprising Mountain West Conference. While it appears to be a mismatch on paper, TCU has a chance to make things interesting. The Horned Frogs always play inspired defense, which has led them to upsets of Oklahoma the last 2 times in Norman, including in 2005. The Sooners appear unstoppable right now but they cannot afford to look past these guys toward the Big 12 slate that awaits them. Usually OU doesn't melt down until the second half of the season, and I think they will win this game pretty handily because they just have too many playmakes for them Frogs to contain. Sooners 38-19.

Ranked teams on Upset Alert:

Keep an eye on South Florida at NC State, because the Bulls played like shit last week and could be looking ahead to bigger games. Plus Tom O'Brien is steadily improving his frisky Wolfpack. The other game I'm looking at is Clemson-Maryland. Both teams are about as reliable as a Charter Cable technician, and because of that its possible that those wacky Terps walk into Death Valley and knock off the still bitch-made Tigers. No Clemson word bond.

With that I'm off to begin preparations for tomorrow's game. Hopefully there will be a GDB field report with the day's festivities in Athens, but you never really know whats going to happen in this towwwwwn. Look for Sweezy on Gameday, and then enjoy a spectacular battle between the hedges later that night.

Saturday Preview

2008-09-19T21:00:00.003-04:00

With most of the inter-conference battling complete, its about time for conference schedules to start. Nowhere does conference play get off to more of a bang than in the Southeastern Conference, where all 5 teams ranked in the Top 10 face stiff competition. There are also many other great games across the nation, so lets take a look at whats on tap complete with the world famous GDB predictions you all love.

GDB BREW BATTLE OF THE WEEK

A lot of dumbass college football fans and announcers hype up more famous rivalries like Ohio State versus Michigan as the best there is in college football, but when it boils down to the bottom line, no game in the 21st century has mattered more in terms of relevancy and pure football talent and ability than LSU and Auburn. We've seen three national championship teams emerge victorious from this battle in the last 10 years, and such all-pro's as Glenn Dorsey, Cadillac Williams and Ronnie Brown have cemented their legendary statuses in this annual war. The calling card of the battle of the Tigers has always been defense. Nowhere in the college football landscape will you see such a combination of pure talent, athleticism and coaching excellence on the defensive side of the ball. What this means that every game between the two teams are close, low-scoring and filled with intensity. Two years ago Auburn knocked off Jamarcus Russell and LSU 7-3 and last year LSU won on a last second touchdown in Baton Rouge. This year, the battle should be just as close as usual. While both teams come in struggling on offense, there is no shortage of talent on that side of the ball, just a lack of familiarity with new players and schemes. There has been no fall off on the defensive sides of the ball, where both teams are led by stalwart defensive lines. As always, tomorrow's matchup will be filled with brutal physicality. Lots of fans assume that low-scoring games are boring, but if you can't enjoy this game, then you need to get out of our goddamn sport and go jerk off to arena football or something.

Prediction: The passion on the field and in the stands will be incredible. Turn on ESPN at 745 to see what an SEC game in primetime is all about. All of that energy can mean one of two things early on: big plays or big mistakes. Look for a huge turnover early by the Auburn defense before both young quarterbacks settle into the game. Points will be at a premium, and the team that can run the ball most consistently will probably win. For that reason, I'm going to take LSU on the road in the upset. Charles Scott has been excellent so far this season, and Richard Murphy and Keiland Williams behind him are no slouches either. Auburn's offense is simply not ready to move the ball against a defense of LSU's caliber, and if they get more than 14 points I'll be shocked. Therefore I'm gonna take LSU on the road, 13-10, with a late field goal allowing them to pull out a thriller on the Plains.

Other Huge SEC Games

Florida at Tennessee: The best rivalry in the SEC during the 1990's has continued into the 2000's as well. Florida has gotten the better of the Vols recently, and is coming off a 39 point pasting of them last year in the Swamp. It would seem that with a healthy Percy Harvin coming back to complement Tim Tebow that another Gator victory would seem inevitable, however I can't get over the feeling that somehow the Vols are going to shock the world tomorrow. Remember last year, they got embarrased on the west coast and then ended up winning the SEC east, and the truth of the matter is that the Vols still have a lot of talent on both sides of the ball. The key to tomorrow's game will be their ability to run the ball. With Arion Foster and Montario Hardesty, they have the talent to control the ball and keep Tebow and company off the field. If Tennessee commits to the run, they can keep in a close, tight affair. If they try to match big plays with Florida, then they are toast. Florida still hasn't found a running back to complement Tebow, which means he will likely have to carry the ball 20+ times tomorrow in Knoxville. If the Vols can keep the Gators one dimensional, and rely on their running backs and Gerald Jones to make the big plays, then they've got a chance in this one.

Prediction: F it, I'm going out on a limb and predicting Tennessee to score the upset. They are not as bad as they were against UCLA, and believe me they will be hyped up to prove to the world that last year was an aberration and that they aren't as shitty this year as everyone seems to think they are. The Gators didn't really impress me against Miami, and I have questions about their toughness in big games. Plus they are still really young on defense and have never faced a Knoxville crowd full of possum before. Look for the Vols to pound the ball all damn day and pull off the biggest upset of the season, 27-21.

Georgia at Arizona State: Both teams are coming off less than stellar performances last week. The Dawgs escaped with a hard fought victory over the Gamecocks while the Sun Devils were caught looking ahead to this one and ended up losing to UNLV. Tempe will be mad hyphy for this game, and one Young Swole wishes he was there to experience it along with the legendary ASU tail. Georgia has kind of been forgotten early in the season while the spotlight has gone to USC and other squads. Thats what makes this game so important. On a national stage in prime time, UGA has the chance to show that they belong with USC and Oklahoma. Thats why this game is so important not only in winning and losing, but also in perception. I have a feeling that tomorrow is when UGA puts it all together and shows off in dominating fashion against ASU. The Dawgs have the advantage on both sides of the ball in both speed and strength, and should be able to control the line of scrimmage. On offense, Moreno will run wild against a weak rush defense and on defense the pass rush will come out with a vengeance after being ridiculed all week for their wack performance against USC. Last year we made Colt Brenna cry on national tv, tomorrow night its going to be punk ass Rudy Carpenter's turn once we introduce him to Rennie Curran and a whole lot of SEC Speed.

Prediction: UGA wins big 45-22

Other Top 25 Predictions:

Temple at Penn State (16): Whats more embarrasing in Happy Valley, all the players arrests, Joe Paterno shitting himself regularly, or the early schedule Penn State has had this year? Penn State wins 48-16

Troy at Ohio State (13): Mark my words, Troy is not a bad team. They will move the ball against Ohio State with their spread offense. If OSU is still crying about their ass-whooping from last weekend, another brand of Trojans may give them more game then they were expecting. OSU wins damn close 28-26.

East Carolina (15) at NC State: The Pirates beat a Tulane team last week thats better than NC State, and the Pirates will probably have a huge rooting interest at this game. This is one of their last best chance to prove themselves against a big conference school, and they will get it done once again. ECU wins 34-16

Alabama (9) at Arkansas: The first SEC road game for all the young freshmen on the Tide. Arkansas is only going to get better as the season goes along, and they get 4 regular defensive starters back from injury this week. JP Wilson has to prevent mistakes in this game or else an upset could happen. Bama pulls away late behind a strong running game 31-21

S.C. State at Clemson (23): Stat padding game for Clemson, does nothing to prove that they aren't big bitches though. Clemson wins 52-9

Buffalo at Missouri (5): Buffalo is an improving team, but it will be a shock if Chase Daniel plays into the 4th quarter of this game. Mizzou wins 49-13

Wyoming at BYU (14): Max Hall probably won't throw for 7 td's again, but he also isn't facing a Pac-10 team this week either. 5 is probably more likely in another mormon domination. BYU cruises 45-17

Boise State at Oregon (17): Imagine if this game was played two years ago. There'd probably be over 100 points combined. This year however its a freshman QB for Boise going up against the Ducks 3rd stringer. Look for LeGarrette Blount and Jeremiah Johnson to get the ball a lot and wear down the Blue Fielders. Ducks win 38-21

Utah (20) at Air Force: I honestly don't know much about either team, but Utah would probably finish 3rd in the Pac-10 considering how shitty those teams are. Utah wins 28-17

South Florida (12) at Florida International: Any time 2 Florida teams you know it will be fun, and the Bulls have to guard against a let down after knocking off Kansas in a very emotional game last Friday. FIU will probably hang around early, before Grothe and company run away in the second half. USF wins 44-26

UMass at Texas Tech (11): The only thing more embarrasing than the Red Raiders inflated ranking is how they earned it. No wonder quarterbacks throw for 50 TD's a year in their system, they don't play anybody. Tech wins 70-13

Sam Houston at Kansas (19): Any fan that says only the SEC schedules cupcakes can STFU after seeing who these big 12 teams go up against. KU kills 63-16

Wake Forest (18) at Florida State (24): Easily the best game outside of the SEC battles. Its hard to believe that the Deacons are the proven entity and that FSU has something to prove in the game, but thats the ACC for you. Wake was lucky to beat Ole Miss at home, but they have confidence aginst the Noles since they've beaten them 3 times in a row. FSU's offense seems to have markedly improved in their second year under Jimbo Fisher's guidance, and they will have more depth in this game now that their suspensions are almost over. Their defense still swarms to the ball and will pressure Riley Skinner all day. (Quick tangent: Its bullshit that the media fawns over Tebow for his Christian beliefs and philanthropy while ignoring all that Antrel Rolle has done in his life. Go read up on the kid and tell me he's not as impressive as ESPN's love toy). This may be the game that FSU announces they are on their way back to the top, Noles win 35-24.

Rice at Texas (7): Who knows what mental state the Rice program is in after Hurricane Ike. What i do know is that Texas puts up 50 on the Owls, even though the game is a night game. Horns 55-17.

Fresno State (25) at Toledo: Pat Hill's teams usually play the big teams really tough, see USC a few years ago and Wisconsin last weekend. They also usually lose to shit tastic teams a few times a year as well. This is one of those cases. Toledo knocks off the Dawgs 38-24

(Yes, Yes, Yes, Maybe if i'm drunk, Yes, Yes, Yes)

College Football Wrap-Up

2008-09-15T18:36:00.002-04:00

Another huge weekend of college football is in the books. Thankfully, I and the Georgia Bulldogs survived a trip to Columbia, SC. Unfortunately, many other top teams fell hard this weekend, including Ohio State in what will probably turn out to be the most overhyped game of the season. Lets take a look back and see how things broke in Week 3 of the college season

Team of the Week: USC Trojans. OK so maybe Ohio State proved once again that they are an overrated and soft team that is slow to adjust and even slower to recover, but lets not forget what USC accomplished. It wasn't that they only beat the Buckeyes, but the fact that they ripped their heart out and stomped on it was the most impressive thing about their victory. It would hard not to think they are the favorite to make the BCS Championship thanks to a weak schedule the rest of the way, but they will have to guard against complacency as they face inferior competition from here on out. But lets be honest, if the Trojans play that well each week, nobody is stopping them from Miami on January 8th.

Player of the Week: With all due respect to the sublime talents of Chase Daniel and Sam Bradford, this week's honor has to go to Max Hall of BYU. Anytime you lead your team to a 42-0 halftime lead and end up throwing for 7 td's alltogether, you have to be the player of the week. Furthermore, he helped prove to the nation that BYU is a legit contender to make a BCS game this season. Its incredible the quarterback lineage that exists in Provo, and Hall has definitely proven that he is the next great Mormon quarterback.

Wack Sauce Team of the Week: It goes without saying that this week's award goes to Ohio State. As if humiliation in the championship game the last two years wasn't enough, you have the audacity to get embarrased with the same team once again on national television. You are a squad full of inflated expectation and inflated sense of entitlement. The only reason you made those previous two title games was because you play in one of the worst conferences in America, one which is too pussy to schedule a conference championship like real conferences such as the Big 12 and SEC. Your coach is overrated. Jim Tressel still hasn't adjusted after getting reamed by Florida. Your players are overrated. Your quarterback is a journeyman at best and his ballyhooed backup isn't ready for this level yet. Your offensive line is slow and fat, your running backs and receivers are slow and unathletic and your precious little linebacker James Laurinaitis is scared of contact and isn't half the player Rennie Curran is. Go enjoy your little trip through the Big 10 and your game in the Citrus Bowl, where you will probably get dismantled by an SEC team once again. Just don't ever say you never get respected and that your going to shock the world again, because just like the state you live in, Ohio State isn't worthy of our time or respect.

Wack Sauce Conference Alert: Its funny how Pac-10 fans have argued in recent years that they are on par with conferences such as the SEC and Big 12. In all actuality, all those little ass schools are really just riding the coat tails of USC. This was proven this week in spades. Cal loses to pathetic Maryland, Arizona State loses to pathetic UNLV, both Washington schools get destroyed by Big 12 opponents too. Even UCLA, which seemed to be turning things around, got killed by 59 points in mormon country. Sure, USC was impressive, but when are they not? The bottom line is the rest of the Pac-10 schools play soft football and think too much of themselves. You will never be as good top to bottom as the SEC because you simply don't care enough to be. Just accept the fact that your conference is going to be known as the Pac-1 from now on, because the rest of you quite honestly deserve to be in the WAC.

GDB Top 10:

1. USC - Destroyed what is supposedly the best that the Big 10 has to offer. They better be careful not to get complacent though, the last time they went up to Corvallis they took a fatty L.

2. Georgia - Won a brutal game against South Carolina. I'm not going to punish them for winning like the AP did because the Cocks play us tougher than anyone on our schedule. If they go out west and obliterate Arizona State then the Dawgs will be right back up to number 2 trust me.

3. Oklahoma - Even in the touchdown highlights, it was painfully obvious how physically superior the Sooners were to Washington on Saturday. They may have the best offense in the nation right now.

4. Missouri - The Tigers haven't really played anyone yet, but their offense is outrageously good at the moment. I'm a little scared that David Maclin might be injury prone, and their defense has to get better if they want to make the Big 12 Championship.

5. Florida - Gut check time in Knoxville this week. Tennessee isn't as bad as they showed against UCLA and they will be insanely hyped to play the Gators after getting murdered by them last year. Tebow better have his superman underwear on for this one.

6. LSU - Despite the distractions from hurricanes and a new quarterback under center, LSU keeps on dominating thanks to their disgusting defense. If they can survive Auburn, they have a chance at another title.

7. Wisconsin - Huge win against a very good Fresno team. With that one out of the way and the fact that they get Ohio State and Illinois at home, the Badgers have to be considered the favorite for the Rose Bowl at the moment.

8. Texas - Their game was cancelled this week because of Hurricane Ike, and I feel this ranking is still inflated, but i can't punish them for not playing.

9. Auburn - Won an ugly game against Mississippi State. That offense hasn't clicked yet, and it doubtly will this week against LSU. Their defense is still nasty as hell though, which will keep them in every game they play.

10. Alabama - Their offense looked much better this week, but they better be careful not to look ahead to Georgia in 2 weeks or else they may suffer a similar fate that Arizona State faced.

Chase for the Heisman...Literally

2008-09-15T10:01:00.003-04:00

With a third week of games in the books, we are inching ever-closer to that glorious time of year when the Football Bowl Subdivision teams start playing games that matter, instead of beating up on directional schools and hilarious also-rans like Nichols State and Florida International.

Front Runner: Chase Daniel, QB, Missouri
Week 3: 23/38, 405 Yards, 4 TD, 0 INT.
Season: 65/90, 973 Yards, 10 TD, 1 INT.
-So long as Daniel keeps putting up video game numbers on a top-5 team, the Heisman seems his to lose. The Tigers' week 1 matchup against Illinois makes it one of the few top teams (along with UGA and USC) to have faced high-level competition early, which is another plus for Daniel.

Others In Consideration:

Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma
Week 3: 18/21, 304 Yards, 5 TD, 0 INT. 1 Carry, 1 Yard, 1 TD.
Season: 64/81, 882 Yards, 12 TD, 2 INT.
-Another week, another massive stat line from Young Bradford. As if tossing five scores wasn't enough, he used his legs to punch one in right on the goal line. The only thing that keeps him off Daniel's level is that OU has yet to play a challenging opponent like the Tigers have.

Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia
Week 3: 20 Carries, 79 Yards, 1 TD
Season: 46 Carries, 306 Yards, 7 TD
-Week 3 saw rather pedestrian numbers for Moreno, at least by his standards. You can probably contribute that to his facing a tough SEC defense, the type of which he will see weekly from week 3 through the rest of the Dawgs cruel and unusual schedule.

Mark Sanchez, QB, USC
Week 3: 17/28, 172 Yards, 4 TD, 1 INT.
Season: 43/63, 510 Yards, 7 TD, 2 INT.
-The bye week did not seem to hurt USC or Sanchez much, as the Trojans gave the Buckeyes their yearly nationally-televised humiliation. Sanchez is quite efficient and is continuing the long line of impressive QB's at Southern Cal. However, he has only half the numbers of Daniel in 2/3 of the games.

Tim Tebow, QB, Florida
Week 3: BYE
Season: 30/49, 393 Yards, 3 TD, 0 INT. 22 Carries, 92 Yards.
-Being the incumbent winner is one of the only things keeping Tebow in this race. He will have to pick up the pace to become the first repeat winner in who knows how long, and this weekend against a injured-yet-dangerous Tennessee team is a perfect opportunity to remind the world how Tim Teabow rolls.

Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech
Week 3: 8 Catches, 164 Yards, 3 TD.
Season: 24 Catches, 395 Yards, 5 TD.
-Week 3 saw a memorable "remember me?" 3 touchdown performance by Crabtree, the best wideout in the college game. However, it might also be time to give some respect to...

Grahm Harell, QB, Texas Tech
Week 3: 31/48, 418 Yards, 5 TD, 0 INT.
Season: 93/152, 1251 Yards, 8 TD, 3 INT.
-Harell is often dismissed as a "system quarterback," but hell, whatever that system is, let me get some of that! The dude is a machine, and Crabtree presents a perfect target to throw tons of touchdowns to all year long.

Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri
Week 3: 6 Catches, 172 Yards, 3 TD.
Season: 12 Catches, 223 Yards, 4 TD. 5 Kick Returns, 184 Yards, 1 TD.
-As the stats show, Maclin makes the most of his looks, often breaking out for huge yardage after the catch. His abilities as a special-teams threat make him doubly dangers for Mizzou's opponents.

Heisman Watch: Round 2

2008-09-09T17:49:00.006-04:00

Some interesting changes in the early-season Heisman Sweepstakes took place this week. Here's a look at the second week winners and losers:

STOCK RISING

Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia
Week 2: 18 Carries, 168 Yards, 3TD. 3 Catches, 30 Yards.
This guy is obviously as good as everyone thought he would be, and apparently deserving of the preseason love-affair the national media had with him. Expect to see him on even more magazine covers as long as he continues to be a TD factory.

Todd Reesing, QB, Kansas
Week 2: 32/38, 412 Yards, 3TD, 0 INT.
The completion percentage, total yards, and TD/INT ratio are no joke, even against Louisiana Tech. Reesing set the tone for what was the Week of the Big 12 Quarterback.

Chase Daniel, QB, Missouri
Week 2: 16/17, 245 Yards, 3TD, 0 INT.
Chillingly efficient as only 16 completions produced 3 touchdowns. And he only played for one-and-a-half quarters.

Sam Bradford, QB, Oaklahoma
Week 2: 29/38, 396 Yards, 5TD, 2 INT.
Young Bradford goes Boomer Sooner all over Cincy's face, but the 2 picks take some of the shine off his 5 TD's.

Jahvid Best, RB, California
Week 2: 24 Carries, 200 Yards, 3 TD.
Best emerges after a beastly performance in week 2. His stat line looks like 2007 Adrian Peterson shiz.

Tim Tebow, QB, Florida
Week 2: 21/35, 256 Yards, 2TD, 0 INT. 13 Carries, 55 Yards.
Teabow had a heavier workload in week two, but the completion percentage and rushing efficiancy are fairly pedestrian by his standards.

HOLDING EVEN

Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech
Week 2: 7 Rec., 158 Yards, 1TD.
Another week, another TD for Crabtree. Lets see if he can live up to the TD-every-game prediction I made about him.

Chris "Beanie" Wells, RB, Ohio State
Week 2: DNP
Many would consider a missed game a big blow to a Heisman hopefull. However, I don't think a second-week game against Ohio is going to make or break a season. Being fully-healthy for a prime-time matchup with idle USC could be a restatement that Beanie wants to get paid.

Mark Sanchez, QB, USC
Week 2: DNP
An off week for USC before a huge matchup with Ohio St, and they still take the #1 spot in the poll anyways, so I guess Sanchez is just that good even when he doesn't play.

DROPPING LIKE TROW

Pat White, QB, West Virginia
Week 2: 11/18, 72 Yards, 0 TD, 0INT. 20 Carries, 97 Yards.
After a spectacular start to the season, White shat the bed like Marwan after eating Chipolte. Losing to an unranked opponent makes this all the worse.

Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri
Week 2: 2 Catches, 20 Yards. 3 Punt Returns, 34 Yards.
Maclin failed to score or even make much of an impact against a SEMO team that he should have lit up like a wet fart. He needs to make an impact in the passing game as well as special teams to take any votes away from his own QB, much less any other candidate.

College Football Wrap-Up

2008-09-08T16:28:00.004-04:00

We are now done with the first 2 weeks of the college football season. After two weeks of relatively uninspiring matchups, it appears as if the preseason is about over. This week we get the huge USC-OSU matchup and SEC conference play begins in earnest. Before we get around to previewing a massive weekend of action, lets take a look back at how things shook out in week 2 around the country.

Team of the Week: East Carolina Pirates

The Pirates are honestly the team of the year so far, scoring two huge upsets over teams from the Virginias. This week's win over West Virginia was especially impressive, considering they stopped a heisman contender for a top-10 team the week after an emotional victory. The Pirates have always had good talent, see David Garrard and Chris Johnson, and now with a good coach in Sthkip Holthz, they have definitely become the best team in the Carolinas and could possibly win the ACC if they were in that league. People hyped up the Mormons from Provo as the BCS crashers, but it sure looks as if the Greenville Geechies have the edge on any team from outside the big 6 at the moment.

Player of the Week: Knowshon Moreno

Quite frankly, Moreno is the most explosive running back in the nation at the moment. Every time he touches the ball he is a threat to score, and he also has the strength and endurance to be an every down back for the Bulldogs. Consider that on 27 carries this season, Moreno already has 6 touchdowns, which means he scores a TD 22 percent of the time he gets the ball. He helped lead Georgia to a dominating victory over a bowl team and has them primed for success in the face of the most daunting schedule in the nation.

Wack Sauce Team of the Week: Ohio State Buckeyes

Yeah I know West Virginia and their annoying fans took a huge L this week, but even that wasn't as embarrasing as the performance The Ohio State (of losing big games) University put forth against lowly Ohio. The Buckeyes were only up 5 in the 4th when they scored a punt return aided by a block in the back to secure a victory. Their offense was slow and uninspired and there appeared to be no athleticism anywhere on the field. For a team that cries so much about being disrespected and how nobody thinks they are any good, they sure didn't convert many people to their cause this week. I guess their fans can hope that they were just looking ahead to USC, but between lackluster effort and an injury to Beanie Wells, their struggles may very well be more endemic of a team once again ranked higher than they should be.

Wet Bearded Clam of the Week: This week's honor goes to Jimmy Clausen. This loser was a supposed 5-star recruit who arrived at Notre Dame in a limo and basically thinks of himself as god's gift to football. In reality, he's a weak-armed overrated whiner who built his reputation by beating weak competition at a joke of a school in California who has done nothing but underachieve and embarrass himself at Notre Dame by throwing interceptions to people on teams like San Diego State. Its the arrogance and pomposity of Clausen and his coach Charlie Weis that have made Notre Dame a laughingstock in college football. At any other program he'd be 4th string by now, but instead this dope with a face of an emu, the arm of a girl and the attitude of a spoiled superstar continues to make an ass of himself each week he suits up.

Wild Bidge Action of the Week: To the homegirl who serviced her man on the mountain at the Texas-UTEP game, GDB salutes you. Not only did you console your boy who was suffering through an ass whooping, but you also got Bob Davie to become excited and circle your supple thrusting motion, way to go girl!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjn7FyTbXpk&feature=related

Top 10 Recap and GDB Rankings:

1. USC - Idle. They didn't play this week, but if they had they would have won so convincingly that they surely deserved to pick up the 20 votes in the AP poll that they did this week. Only at USC. Next Week - Ohio State

2. Georgia - Defeated Central Michigan 56-17. Good performance for the Dawgs, who now go on back to back road trips to South Carolina and Arizona State. Next Week - @ South Carolina

3. Oklahoma - Defeated Cincinnati 52-26. Another huge day for Sam Bradford (5 TD Passes). Its quite unfair how little attention is paid to this guy, who is putting up even better numbers that Tim Tebow had through the same point in his career. Next Week - @ Washington

4. Missouri - Defeated SE Missouri State 52-0. The team with the best offense in the nation also gets a great effort from their defense, which makes this team downright scary. Next Week - Nevada

5. Florida - Defeated Miami 26-3. Deceiving score because Florida was only up by 6 going into the 4th quarter. Huge concern that there still is no real running back to take the pressure off of Tebow. Next Week - Idle

6. LSU - Bye week because of Hurricane Gustav. Bigger problem is that Hurricane Ike may cause this week's game to be cancelled too, which would mean the Tigers would have to play 12 weeks in a row after that (good luck). Next Week - North Texas

7. Ohio State - Defeated Ohio 26-14. Buckeye fans better hope their team was saving the kitchen sink for the Trojans or else it could get really ugly on the west coast this Saturday. Next Week - @ USC

8. Auburn - Defeated Southern Miss. 27-13. Tigers beat a pretty damn good team, and the longer the season goes on the better that offense is going to get. Next Week - @ Miss. State

9. Wisconsin - Defeated Marshall 51-14. Best running game in the nation will get a severe test this weekend at Fresno State. Next Week - @ Fresno State

10. Texas - Defeated UTEP 42-13. I still think this team is overrated, but an impressive victory for the Horns in a very hostile environment. Next Week - Arkansas

Thank Brett Favre?

2008-09-08T14:51:00.003-04:00

According to a recent report from Velo News, Lance Armstrong will come out of retirement to race in the 2009 Tour de France.

According to an anonymous source close to Armstrong, the seven-time Tour champ will race for absolutely no pay.

It appears that Armstrong will ride for Astana, a team that currently employs both Johan Bruyneel and Dirk Demol, formerly executives of Armstrong's previous team, Discovery Channel.

The Velo News report also states that Armstrong plans to post all testing of blood samples online in an effort to make anti-doping measures fully transparent.

Armstrong, a Texas native, turns 37 this year.

Heisman Watch: Inagural Edition

2008-08-31T14:44:00.006-04:00

After the magic that was the first Saturday of college football, which yours truly celebrated by attending the Illinois/Missouri game in St. Louis, let's take a how the Heisman contenders started the season, and how they should finish if the voting was today.

Author's Note: I realize we only have one week in the books, but we will take a look at the Heisman Race every week and monitor how the situation changes.

1. Pat White, QB, West Virginia
Week 1: 25/33 208 Yards, 5 TD, 1 INT. 9 Carries for 63 Yards.
White put on an impressive showcase of all his skills yesterday, certainly faring much better than his former coach.
2. Chase Daniel, QB, Missouri
Week 1: 26/45, 323 Yards, 3 TD, 1 INT Passing. 9 Carries, 46 Yards.
Daniel looked like a maestro in St. Louis, doing his best Tim Teabow impression (which may have been better than the real thing). He has plenty of passing targets and is a smart, efficient runner.

3. Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri
Week 1: 4 Rec., 31 Yards. 3 Kick Returns for 145 Yards, 1 TD. 4 Punt Returns for 56 Yards, 1 TD.
Maclin put on a show Saturday reminiscent of Dieon Sanders or Reggie Bush. As thes stats show, he did most of his damage on special teams, living up to his reputation as a 1st Team All-American. Missouri is hoping a late-game ankle injury is not serious.

4. Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia
Week 1: 8 Carries, 59 Yards. 3 TD. 2 Rec., 53 Yards.
Knowshon was incredibly efficient in Week 1, finding the endzone three times on just eight rushing attempts. The receiving yards are an added bonus that will drive defenses crazy this year.

5. Chris Wells, RB, Ohio State
Week 1: 13 Carries for 111 Yards, 1 TD. 3 Rec., 10 Yards.
Wells looked everything like the strong runner that Ohio State needs him to be if they want to actually win a title this year. However Wells left the game with an ankle injury which would be devastating if he can't make it back when the Buckeyes play USC in two weeks.

6. Tim Teabow, QB, Florida
Week 1: 9/14, 137 Yards, 1 TD Passing. 9 Carries, 37 yards.
Teabow's teammates did a great deal of the work yesterday, which is great for the team but doesn't benefit Teabow's stat line.

7. Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech
Week 1: 9 Rec., 73 Yards, 1 TD.
Crabtree had a nice game to start the season. I'm betting this guy could catch a TD in every game this year with the pass-happy Tech offense.

College Football Predictions

2008-08-28T17:33:00.002-04:00

A funny thing happened on my journey through the top 15 - life. Sweezy got a little busy with things and didn't have time to finish, but with the season kicking off tonight, I knew I had to get something together for the millions of readers out there who count on GDB to bring you the truth and knowledge. I'll give you the rest of my top 15 and then some specific predictions for each conference. Thank god the season is here.

The Top 15

15. Kansas (Tough schedule plus some big losses equals a tougher season in Lawrence)

14. Arizona State (2nd place in a weak Pac-10, Erickson is turning it around in Tempe)

13. Texas Tech (All the offense in the world, but they've always had offense, get some D now)

12. BYU (Mormons have some good players and an easy sked, no drunk bitches though)

11. West Virginia (Pat White is legit, but huge coaching and defensive questions)

10. Wisconsin (Could be a Rose Bowl year if they can beat OSU in Mad-Town)

9. LSU (Talent level will not drop off, Tigers still have the best D-Line in the nation)

8. Clemson (Tons of talent and an easy schedule, Tigers only need to grow some balls now)

7. Auburn (Best defense in the SEC + more explosive offense = Scary War Eagle

6. Florida (Easiest SEC schedule of all the top teams, injuries could cripple them though)

5. Missouri (Quite possibly could run the table before the Big 12 Championship game)

4. USC (I'll believe the offense when I see it, that defense will need to be great early)

3. Oklahoma (Best offense in college football, must prove they can win the big game though)

2. Georgia (Brutal schedule and big target might be too much even for the Dawgs)

1. Ohio State (If they lose the title game again, they should never be allowed back)

Conference Predictions

Big 10

1 - Ohio State

2 - Wisconsin

3 - Penn State

4 - Michigan State

5 - Illinois

6 - Purdue

7 - Michigan

8 - Minnesota

9 - Iowa

10 - Indiana

11 - Northwestern

Big 12

North South

1 - Missouri 1 - Oklahoma

2 - Kansas 2 - Texas

3 - Colorado 3 - Texas Tech

4 - Nebraska 4 - Texas A&M

5 - Kansas State 5 - Okla State

6 - Iowa State 6 - Baylor

Big East

1 - South Florida

2 - West Virginia

3 - Pitt

4 - Rutgers

5 - Cincinnati

6 - Who cares

Pac 10

1 - USC

2 - Arizona State

3 - Oregon

4 - Oregon State

5 - Cal

6 - UCLA

7 - Stanford

8 - Washington

9 - Arizona

10 - Washington State

ACC

1 - Clemson

2 - Wake Forest

3 - Virginia Tech

4 - Florida State

5 - NC State

6 - Who cares

SEC

East West

1 - Georgia 1 - Auburn

2 - Florida 2 - LSU

3 - Tennessee 3 - Alabama

4 - South Carolina 4 - Ole Miss

5 - Kentucky 5 - Mississippi State

6 - Vandy 6 - Arkansas

Awards

Heisman - Pat White, West Virginia

Best Running Back - Chris Wells, Ohio State

Best Wide Receiver - Michael Crabtree, Texas Tech

Best Lineman - Duke Robinson, Oklahoma

Best Defensive Lineman - Ricky Jean Francois, LSU

Best Linebacker - Rennie Curran, Georgia

Best Secondary - Asher Allen, Georgia

Best Coach - Tommy Tuberville, Auburn

Weekend Preview coming up tomorrow....

5 Reasons that Usain Bolt is more impressive than Michael Phelps

2008-08-21T19:27:00.001-04:00

I was at work today with the dubious task of posting RFI's on construction drawings. For those who don't know, it has about the same enjoyment level of hand-washing septic tanks. After about 6 hours or so of looking through hospital drawings for miniscule details about elevator shaft openings, I began forcing myself to remain sane by focusing on the greatest debate taking place in the world today - whether Usain Bolt or Michael Phelps has been the more impressive athlete during the 2008 Olympics. The clear fact that Bolt has in fact been the greatest athlete in Beijing became more obvious as time passed, until I had in my mind 5 reasons why Bolt should be the lasting image of these Olympics. And for the record, I'm not here to rain on Phelps' parade, he was incredible, its just that in many ways he was upstaged and surpassed by a truly superhuman performance from Bolt.

Reason #1 - Less Races, but even more dominant.

The biggest accomplishment for Phelps is that he was able to win 8 events, not one singular performance in any of them. The problem in retrospect for this accomplishment, is that there were so many swimming races of similar distances and disciplines that it was easy for Phelps to win the majority of his races. On multiple occasions, Phelps ran the exact same distance and stroke and therefore won multiple gold medals. Other times, Phelps was racing against the same competitors he had already beaten, basically making the events deja vu as opposed to a unique accomplishment. Third, Phelps' main competitor wasn't even participating in these games. Ian Thorpe had impressively beaten Phelps four years ago in Athens, and could very well have challenged him again in Beijing. Without him, Phelps faced a weakened field that was much more vulnerable to domination. On the other hand, Usain Bolt has only had 2 chances to prove his greatness. It isn't Bolt's fault that there aren't multiple ways to run, and it isn't Bolt's fault that running different distances is much different than swimming different distances. The 100 and 200 meters rely on such different technical running styles that only three men have ever won both in the same Olympics. (The greatest track athlete of my lifetime previous to Bolt, Michael Johnson, didn't even bother running both events at the same time). In swimming, competitors often master one specific stroke and dominate at multiple race lengths (Peirsol, Janet Evans, etc.) Bolt didn't have that luxury, and yet completely dominated both of the toughest and most competitive events in track.

Reason #2 - Bolt was so dominant, that he could afford to celebrate during the race.

Another of the biggest criticism I'm hearing of Bolt that he was a boorish victor more interested in high-stepping that giving his best effort. I'll turn this around quickly in 2 ways. First of all, the way he celebrates has zero effect on the athletic accomplishments he made. He could strip naked, climb up to the olympic torch, and set himself on fire, but would that have anything to do with the race he just ran? Of course not. Secondly, Bolt was so incredibly dominant that he could afford to celebrate during the race and still break world records. While Phelps broke many world records as well, in many races he had very tight competition so that he could never do what Bolt did, basically affirming his greatness during the race instead of after the clock stopped running. Its funny that most track experts biggest qualm with Bolt is how he could have gone even faster if he hadn't celebrated, possibly further obliterating the most storied track record in history even more than he already did. Phelps went all out and set world-records, Bolt high-stepped it home like Deion Sanders and did the same damn thing, edge Bolt.

Reason #3 - It's rarer for track records to be broken than swimming records.

Real talk, breaking 7 world records in swimming is incredibly impressive. More real talk, every damn swim race in Beijing had a broken world record it seemed. The Water Cube was specifically designed so that world records would be broken. The depth of the pool was greater so that there would be less friction between the surface displacement and the bottom, and there were extra lanes built on the sides to absorb the water energy created by the swimmers. Even the swimsuits issued by Speedo were the most aerodynamic ever created. The result was that world records fell in swimming events at an unprecented rate. Even in Phelps' most dominant events, he wasn't the only swimmer setting records. Many times there were 3 or even 4 other swimmers at record pace while Phelps was winning. This fact doesn't cheapen his victory, but it does cheapen the magnitude that should be given to his world records. Meanwhile, Bolt was running on the same type of track his events have always been run on. There were no modifications that previous sprinters didn't have the luxury of having, and there were no equipment advantages that had never been there before. Bolt set his records in spandex and Nike's, Phelps won his in a space age swimsuit. There's a reason why the men's 100 meter record time has dropped about 0.2 seconds in my lifetime, its nearly impossible for a human to possibly move that fast. Swimming records drop by the seconds regularly thanks to technology. Track events are just a man's legs and a hard surface to run on, which makes the pure athletic ability the reason for unprecedented events, not a supercharged pool or what clothes he's wearing.

Reason #4 - Phelps got lucky on multiple occasions, Bolt didn't need luck to win

The Olympics were barely 2 days old, and Michael Phelps was already on the brink of a swimming loss. In the men's 4x100 medley relay, the US was trailing badly after he had left the pool. The announcers were already saying his dream of 8 golds was almost gone, when out of nowhere his teammate Jason Lezak saved his ass by improbably coming back to pass a French swimmer at the last possible second. Simply put, the gold Phelps earned in that race had nothing to do with what he did, but all on the efforts of his much more unheralded teammate. Next Friday night, Phelps found himself in another close race with his streak on the line. This time all his competitor had to do was outstrech his hands to win the gold, but yet inexplicably hesitated which let Phelps win in the closest swimming finish ever. Even after the event was over, the NBC commentary focused not on what Phelps did to win, but what his competitor did to lose. This race was not a victory earned by Phelps, but a victory given to him by the sheer luck of fate. Now lets compare Phelps' style of victory to Usain Bolt's. The Jamaican sprinter left so little doubt in the eyes of the viewer of his complete dominance, that there was no possible controversy or twist of fate that gifted him a victory. Bolt's own competitors, including previous 100 meter record holder Tyson Gay, were left in absolute awe of his sprints. Bolt not only set unprecedented records, but he did them in the most lopsided victory margins ever, even against the fastest fields ever assembled in the 100 and 200 meters.

5. Bolt broke his records in unfavorable conditions.

While Michael Phelps was racing to glory in controlled conditions at the Water Cube, Bolt was being thrown to the mercy of the elements outdoors. Sprinters can't choose what conditions they have to perform in, and in reality Bolt was performing in what had to be considered bad weather to try and set world records in. In Bolt's 200 meter triumph he was actually running into a headwind, which tried to slow him down during the race. What is so incredible is that Bolt still broke the record despite this, and that its guaranteed he would have broken the record by an even greater margin had the conditions even been neutral, let alone if they were actually favoring him. Swimmers of the advantage of having the natural elements taken out of play in their races, Bolt wasn't this fortunate and yet was even more impressive considering the negative circumstances affecting his races.

A lot of people have already made up their minds that Phelps is the better athlete. They don't like Bolt's celebratory style, they discount that he only won 2 races as opposed to Phelps' 8. They even put Phelps ahead because he's American and Bolt isn't. These same people will probably feel that i'm full of shit by even trying to argue for Bolt athletic superiority. I'm not even going to blast these people, for I am not of the ability to shape or change the beliefs of people who have already made up their minds on something. I am also not going to demean anything Michael Phelps did in Beijing, because he is an incredible athlete with incredible accomplishments. I just hope that people who read this and disagree with me at least read the points I tried to make and at least agree that Usain Bolt is worthy of just as much awe and praise for his athletic achievements as Phelps has earned, and that he is simply put the most incredible track athlete in the history of competitive sport.

CFB Preseason Rankings - # 16

2008-08-16T14:41:00.004-04:00

The Tennessee Volunteers have always been one of the most successful programs in the SEC. They've won national titles, conference titles, and produced some of the best players in the NFL. This year looks like the Vols will have another solid team, but unfortunately for them they will play in the toughest division and conference and the nation, which will make it difficult for them to make a repeat trip to the SEC Championship game. What's in store for the Vols, and can they actually make a run towards success in the brutal SEC East?

Offense: Erik Ainge developed into one of the best quarterbacks Tennesse has had since Peyton Manning left town, but him and quarterbacks coach David Cutcliffe have both moved on. Replacing Ainge will be Jonathan Crompton, who has talent but is unproven. If he can get the proper guidance from new coordinator Dave Clawson, then the Vols could be really good on offense because all around him are quality players. Arian Foster is one of the most underrated college players in all of college football, and now that he's running towards the end zone instead of running from cops he should be one of the best backs in the SEC. He'll run behind an experienced offensive line that returns 4 starters from a unit that only gave up 4 sacks last year. The man on the outside to watch is Gerald Jones, who looks poised to be the next great Tennessee reciever. Only a sophomore, Jones has Percy Harvin level talent and versatility and will give the Vols an explosive dimension that few other teams in the nation can possibly match.

Defense: Quite possibly, the key to the Tennessee season will be how the front 7 on defense can play. The Vols already lost leader Jerod Mayo to the NFL, and many of the guys around him still have not lived up to their potential. Defensive end Robert Ayers must provide a pass rush, and the young linebackers on the roster must be disciplined and technically sound for the defensive unit to stop the run. Thankfully for Vols fans, their secondary is one of the best in the nation. Strong safety Eric Berry is quite possibly the best secondary player in the SEC since Champ Bailey was killin' kids at UGA and he will now be rejoined by Demetrice Morley, who was All-SEC before being ruled academically ineligible last year. The corners also have a ton of talent and have the ability to shut down any opposing reciever they will face this year. Its all going to come down to the front 7 though, if Tennesee can't stop the rushing game then the entire defense is going to suffer greatly.

Coaching: Philip Fulmer is fat and disliked by many Tennessee fans. In recent years the Vols consistency has dropped off and many think its because Fulmer has lost his edge. He'll be under the microscope even more so now that Cutcliffe took the head coaching job at Duke. If you remember, Fulmer was almost out the door before he convinced Cutcliffe to return to Knoxville and resurrect his offense. It remains to be seen if this year's offense will be as good without Cutcliffe, or if Fulmer has the ability to lead his team to success without some of his top assistants around. Regardless, unless Tennessee beats either Georgia or Florida, Fulmer will remain on the hot seat in Knoxville well into 2009.

Predicted Schedule and Outcomes:

@UCLA - W

UAB - W

Florida - W

@ Auburn - L

Northern Illinois - W

@ Georgia - L

Mississippi State - W

Alabama - W

@ South Carolina - L

Wyoming - W

@ Vanderbilt - W

Kentucky - W

Not many teams can say that they will face 3 top-1o ranked teams among their first 6 games, and make a cross-country trip to face a Pac-10 teams. If Tennesee can win 2 of those 3 games against their top SEC foes than the rest of the season can set up pretty nicely. I'm giving Tennesee a win over Florida early in the season, but I just don't see how they can win on the road at UGA, who will be fired up after last season's ass-whooping, or on the Plains the week after an emotional matchup with Florida. Its also going to be tought to win in Columbia after playing for 6 straight weeks prior to that game. However, as tough as the SEC East is this year, a 9-3 record wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, though if the defense does not improve its possible that the Vols could be looking at 4 or 5 losses too.

R.I.P. To A Football Pioneer

2008-08-14T23:51:00.005-04:00

The following obituary appeared today in my local newspaper, the Quincy Herald-Whig. R.I.P. to the classiest guy ever to wear #4 for the Green Bay Packers.

August 14, 2005:
Herman Schneidman, a two-time member of the NFL champion Green Bay Packers in the 1930's and a longtime Quincy businessman and civic leader, died Tuesday in the Sunset Home. He was 95.

At 5-foot-11, 200 pounds, Schneidman made his mark in professional football as a blocking back, or the fore-runner to a fullback in today's game. He also played receiver, linebacker, and defensive back.

"There's a picture in the Pro Football Hall of Fame display for Clarke Hinkle showing him scoring a touchdown," said Aurie McGee of Quincy, Schneidman's nephew. "He later sent a thank-you note to Herm that said if it wasn't for his blocking he wouldn't be in the Hall of Fame."

After graduating from the University of Iowa, Mr. Schniedman joined the Packers in 1935 and in 1936 the team went 10-1 and defeated the Boston Redskins 21-6 in the NFL title game.

Two years later, the Packers lost to the New York Giants 23-17 in the championship game. IN 1939, Green Bay made history by recording the first shutout in a championship game by beating the Giants 27-0. Some NFL historians consider the 1939 team as one of the greatest in history.

After 1939, Mr. Schneidman briefly retired but returned to the Packers for the 1940 season. However, he was released before the season started and signed with the Chicago Cardinals so he could be closer to his home and business.

Mr. Schneidman retired for good after the 1940 season and joined the U.S. Navy, where he played on the Great Lakes Naval Station Team with the likes of baseball star Dom DiMaggio and future NFL Hall of Famer Otto Graham.

During his NFL career, Mr. Schneidman played in 46 games, rushing 13 times for 37 yards and catching 7 passes for 119 yards and two touchdowns. He also had an interception.

"He was pretty matter-of-fact about his pro football career," McGee said. "He really didn't talk about it his career unless you asked. One time he was showing us a team picture and pointed at one of the guys and said 'That's Curly Lambeau.' Curly Lambeau! Can you believe it?"

In September 2006, Mr. Schneidman received a warm welcome when, as the oldest living Pakcer, he returned to Lambeau Field to take part in alumni festivities.

During the weekend, he was introduced to players from Green Bay's 1996 Super Bowl team. "A lot of the guys were asking 'Who is that?'" McGee recalled. "Once they found out he was the oldest living Packer, they all came over and shook his hand."

Mr. Schneidman, who wore jersey no. 4, even left a surprise for the most recognizable Packer to ever wear no. 4. He signed a hat at Brett Favre's restaurant and left if for the quarterback. Several weeks later, he received a personal thank-you note from Favre. "Everything was perfect. It was a perfect day," Mr. Schneidman said at the time.

Mr. Schneidman was born in Rock Island on Nov. 3, 1912, and moved with his family to Quincy when he was 6. He was a three-sport letterman (football, basketball, track) at Quincy High School from 1929-31, where he captained the basketball and football teams. He received the Watson Honor Cup and the school's sports award during his junior and senior years. Mr. Schneidman is a member of the QHS Sports Hall of Fame.

Mr. Schneidman received an honorable discharge from the Navy and returned to Quincy in 1945 and entered the family business, Schneidman Distributors, with his brother Ed, who was then mayor of Quincy. Mr. Schneidman was also involved in many civic groups giving his time, expertise and money to benefit Quincy and the surrounding area.

Visitation will be from 4 to 6p.m. Friday at Duker Haugh Funeral Home. Services will be held at 9:30a.m. Saturday at Duker and Haugh Funeral home followed by a funeral Mass at 10a.m. in Blessed Sacrament Church at 7th and Adams St. Burial will be at Calvary Cemetery with military honors conducted by American Legion Post No. 37.

CFB Preseason Rankings - # 17

2008-08-14T19:26:00.002-04:00

Ever since Vince Young led Texas to the BCS Championship, it seems as if the Longhorns have been looking for a leader. Sure Colt McCoy put up big stats as a freshmen, but he certainly regressed last year and doesn't impose his will on the team as much as VY did. Now for the first time in many years, Texas will probably not begin the season in the top 10. While they have a ton of talent on the squad, there are huge holes to fill at running back and a shaky defense that needs to be filled. Can the Horns bounce back and make a statement in the tough Big 12, or will it be another Holiday Bowl come bowl season?

Offense: It seems as is Colt McCoy has been around forever, but in fact he's only going to be a junior this season. As a freshman, he was a revelation who led Texas to a better year than expected and caused announcers to gush about his baby blue eyes (No homo Musberger). Last season he became mistake-prone though, and turned the ball more than Young Swole's main girl Alicia Sacramone fell during the gymnastics competition. For Texas to be really good on offense, McCoy is going to have to be more responsible with the ball. Last year he had Jamaal Charles to give the ball to, but now he will be turning around to a group of talent yet inexperienced running back options. It looks like either Vondrell McGee or the greatly named Foswhitt Whitaker will replace Charles, but it's going to hard to match his explosivness. Texas also lost playmaker Limas Sweed to the draft, but look for Quan Cosby to have a great season now that he is the number 1 option for McCoy. As always, Texas should have strong line play and be able to control the line of scrimmage against its opponents.

Defense: Texas struggled immensely last year on defense, both failing to generate much of a pass rush or stop opposing recievers from burning an inexperienced secondary. For Texas to have any chance to win the Big 12 South, both these problems will have to be fixed because there are too many good quarterbacks and offenses in this league to try and survive with a subpar defense. The Horns have a ton of talent on this side of the ball, it just hasn't performed to the expected level yet. This is why it was so important that Texas hired Will Muschamp as defensive coordinator. Any observer who has watched Auburn's defenses over the past few years will know that Muschamp demands effort and intensity, as well as expecting his players to be fundamentally solid. With the talent at his disposal, and Muschamp's own coaching ability, I expect Texas to have the best defense in the Big 12 in a very short time. It may be too much to ask this year though, especially with the schedule loaded with great passing offenses.

Coaching: Mack Brown is still the man in Austin, but if his team continues to play undisciplined and underachieve, his same old criticisms are going to start to be whispered again about how he can't coach talent or get his players to win big games. Many people already think he lucked into a title thanks to the extroardinary ability of Vince Young, and quite honestly he's done nothing to disprove that since VY moved onto Tennessee. His hiring of Muschamp was an excellent move, and no one argues that Mack gets that 'cruitin done every year. He may need to overachieve this year more than ones in years past if he wants to avoid criticism, because there ain't much grace time between accomplishments in Texas, and he's used up about all he's had already.

Predicted Schedule and Outcomes:

Florida Atlantic - W

@ UTEP - W

Arkansas - W

Rice - W

@ Colorado - L

Oklahoma - L

Missouri - L

Oklahoma State - W

@ Texas Tech - L

Baylor - W

@ Kansas - W

Texas A&M - W

With 7 home games, and only 3 true road games, the schedule sets up nicely for the Horns. The problem is that they face arguably the toughest 3 opponents from the Big 12 North besides the South mainstays. The early out of conference games will be tougher than expected, and any complancency could mean that either Florida Atlantic or UTEP could pull a big upset. The game at Colorado starts a rough 3 game stretch that Texas may be underdogs in each. Its also going to be tough for Texas to win in Lubbock, because that Red Raider offense will be licking its chops to get at Texas' weak secondary. 4 losses isn't going to make the natives happy in Austin, but this squad doesn't seem to have the vintage Texas explosivness and athleticism, and they are playing a very difficult schedule. This team is going to have to get mentally tough really quick if they are going to survive this year and make it any further than the Alamo Bowl. At least the cheerleaders are still hot as f*ck though, which is always appreciated.

CFB Preseason Rankings - # 18

2008-08-14T17:17:00.002-04:00

Eugene, Oregon is known for a few things. It is home to the largest collection of hippies in the United States thanks to its close proximity to some of the piniest herb in the lower 48. Its also the home of Nike, which pumps millions of dollars into the hideous uniforms worn by the University of Oregon football team. Many retinas have been scorched in recent years from viewing Oregon games since the Ducks have become the Pac-10's second best team and have played in many huge games. Last year it seemed like they might have what it took to win it all, but after losing Dennis "Deeznuts" Dixon to injury, the dream was vanquished. Now its 2008, will the Ducks hold onto their status as perennial Pac-10 contender, or will they slide down into mediocrity?

Offense: No offense was more dynamic than Oregon's last year. Led by the multitalented Dixon, the Ducks were a constant threat both running and throwing. Jonathan Stewart was also an excellent contributor who helped rid the notion of Pac-10 offenses being a collection of fruitcakes with wavy hair who play finesse football. Stewart, and Oregon, smashed some bitches faces in, which helped make them so effective. Now with those 2 stalwarts gone, the Ducks are going to have to reload with fresh ballers. Fortunately, there is plenty of talented players on tap. Running backs LaGarette Blount and Jeremiah Johnson could form the best tandem in the entire conference. They will run behind a talented offensive line that knows exactly how to function in the spread option attack. Oregon always has frisky receivers, and Jaison Williams has first round talent on the outside. The Ducks offense will still hinge on Dixon's replacement at QB. If Justin Roper can build on his Sun Bowl performance, this unit will ball. He may not have Dixon's athleticism but this offense has all the talent to be possibly the most dangerous in the Pac-10 this year.

Defense: The Ducks defense is built on speed and agressiveness, which helped them force a ton of turnovers last year. While the unit is a little on the smallish side, they can usually get away with this since the Pac-10 is such a wide open conference with few teams showing much interest in pounding the ball. The strength of the defense is the secondary, where safety Patrick "I am Asian, bitch" Chung should garner All-America consideration this season. Other standouts include defensive end Nick Reed and Jairus Byrd. Oregon has recruited well and has good depth at all positions, which will compensate for any injury concerns and allow the starters to continue to play their aggressive style that has made them one of the Pac-10's only effective defenses the past few years.

Coaching: Mike Bellotti may be an asshole, with a drunk wife to boot, but the man can coach football. He has built one of the nation's strongest programs where once one of the nation's wackest programs once lived. Thanks to recent success, Oregon is now able to pull in recruits from all across the nation, which is increasing the profile of the school even further. Bellotti thrives at taking in kids that are overlooked by the big California schools and turning them into stars in their own right. And though he may have lost 2 of the best players he's ever had, his coaching and recruiting have allowed the program the stability to remain a top flight contender regardless of who they lose on a year to year basis.

Predicted Schedule and Outcomes:

Washington - W

Utah State - W

@ Purdue - W

Boise State - W

@ Washington State - L

@ USC - L

UCLA - W

@ Arizona State - L

@ California - W

Stanford - W

Arizona - W

@ Oregon State - L

Oregon's schedule flipped around this year, and most of their best opponents are now road games. This has made the Ducks schedule one of the most brutal in the entire nation, and will thoroughly test this squad. Oregon always seems to get out of the gates fast and the first 4 games are all very winnable. Then comes a daunting stretch of 4 road games in 5 weeks. Washington State is a dangerous trap game, and going to USC is not going to be easy with a young quarterback behind center. Getting a split out of trips to Tempe and Berkeley would be a success, but at this stage of the season its going to be hard for Oregon not to have less than 3 losses. Its possible that they could win out from this stage of the season, but wacky things always happen in the Civil War and Oregon State always comes on late in the season. Even though I'm predicting 4 losses, Oregon should remain one of the Pac-10's toughest teams week in and week out. Its quite possible that the 2008 crucible will set the stage for a big time run in 2009 once the schedule flips around again.

Not for the Faint of Heart

2008-08-13T12:31:00.000-04:00

Just watch his right arm...

Wake Up Call

2008-08-11T21:18:00.018-04:00

With so many exciting sports stories playing out, from the resolution of the Favre/Packers saga, to the Olympic-sized beating the U.S. Men's 400m relay team put on the braggadocios French, to the build-up to September baseball, it's easy to lose focus on real world issues. However, one major story is unfolding right in front of our eyes that deserves the nation's attention: The invasion of Georgia by the Soviet Uni....I mean Russia.

While it's difficult to imagine the hellish conditions Georgians are being forced to endure right now, just like it is hard to imagine what people in Darfur, Tibet, or Iraq are living on a daily basis, there is one major issue that the Russia/Georgia conflict puts into perspective. It serves as a strong reinforcement for an increasingly obvious reality: John McCain is the only realistic choice to be our next President.

Considering the myriad of difficult international issues that will certainly face our next Commander-in-Chief, putting a political and diplomatic novice like Obama into the Oval Office would be tantamount to putting a toddler behind the wheel of a hummer. I mean, you might laugh at the commercial comparing Obama to Brittney Spears or Paris Hilton, but one of this guy's closest advisors is one of the biggest dumbshit Hollywood stars out there. To truly understand the night-and-day difference between the expirience and command that both men could potentially bring to the Nation's highest office, look no further than one of the major political figures of our country, Hillary Clinton. Senator Clinton had this nugget of wisdom to offer to the voting public: "Sen. John McCain has a lifetime of experience that he'd bring to the White House. And Sen. [Barack] Obama has a speech he gave in 2002."

There is proof to the truth of those words beyond just a Hillary Clinton soundbyte, too. No one doubts that the political mastermind behind Russia's all-out ground invasion of Georgia (a small western-aligned nation that controls vital routes for energy resources) is former President and current Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. President George W. Bush once said that "I looked into his [Putin's] eyes. I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy...I was able to get a sense of his soul."

Well, President Bush turned out to be pretty wrong on that one. The man who has led governmental-retaking of major media outlets, clamped down on internal dissent, and mapped out "modern" Russia's plan to retake the Sovient Bloc is anything but trustworthy. And Senator McCain knows it. To illustrate Sen. Clinton's point, Senator McCain had more insight that President Bush almost two years ago when he countered Bush's statement by saing of Putin: "I look into Putin's eyes and I see three letters, a K, a G, and a B." Anyone who doesn't understand the significance of that statement, look here, then bash yourself in the head with a tackhammer. (You're probably supporting Obama anyway).

This issue involving Russia, Georgia, and President Bush's potential successors, crystalizes the issues down into very simple terms. Who is ready to lead? Who has the expirience? Expirience counts, not only because it helps the person who has it be ready the moment he steps into the White House, but because it helps the person who has it correctly assess situations as they arise, and draw on that experience to choose the correct path to take. I know Senator McCain will take the right path, the one that will keep freedom the dominant force in our world. Senator Obama? I don't know if I'd follow him to his own campaign rally, or a George Clooney movie premiere for that matter.

CFB Preseason Rankings - #19

2008-08-07T14:53:00.005-04:00

With the College Football season now less than 30 days away from getting started, GDB's resident expert Young Swole will begin unleashing his preseason top 25. Today we look at the Virginia Tech Hokies.

Despite one of the worst tragedies ever to strike a college campus, the Virginia Tech football team still won the ACC Conference and made it to a BCS bowl. A lot of talented either graduated or was kicked off the team this past offseason making VA Tech one of the most unknown entities in the entire Top 25. We all know how this program reloads though, which means that the Hokies will still be a forced to be reckoned with in the ACC.

Offense: With the Hokies offense, it all boils down to which quarterback will be behind center. Sean Glennon is the incumbent, but anyone who knows anything about football can tell pretty quickly that he is a pretty awful player. His decision making is terrible and he is inaccurate which if you didn't know is a bad combination. Somehow he is still the probable starter this season despite the challenge of sophomore Tyrod Taylor. Taylor is much more athletic and despite making some mistakes, at least he isn't a senior making them. I know most Hokie fans want Taylor to start and I agree with them, he is their best chance for offensive success this year. VA Tech lost a ton of skill players too including Branden Ore and all three starting receivers plus their top returning wide reciever. The loss of Ore will not be big because the Hokies always have strong running backs and the offensive line should be much better this year. Wide receiver is more problematic though, and with Brandon Dillard out for the season with injury, its going to be up to some really young guys to get open and make players. Make no mistake, this is going to be a smash-mouth offense content to play a ball-control style and lean heavily on the defense.

Defense: Bud Foster has to be considered one of the top Defensive Coordinator's in all of CFB, which is why I have no doubt that the Hokies defense will be just as dominant as year's past despite losing some really good players. The two biggest holes to fill will be defensive end Chris Ellis, who was their most effective pass rusher, and linebacker Vince Hall, who was their most consistent defender last year. The secondary should be in fine shape with All-Conference players Macho Harris and Kam Chancellor returning, and I have no doubts that the new linebackers will step right in Hall and Xavier Adibi's shoes. If the Hokies can get solid line play and pressure opposing quarterbacks, then there should be little to no fall off in defensive play.

Coaching: Frank Beamer and Bud Foster are two of the most respected coaches in college football and its for coaching teams just like how this 2008 edition is going to be. On paper it looks like as if most of the talent and star-power has left, but Beamer and Foster always develop new players to fill the roles left by the departing talent. Combine that with Virginia Tech's superior special team play and the lack of an intimidating conference, and there doesn't seem to be a reason why the young Hokie talent cannot be coached up and contend for another ACC Title.

Predicted Schedule and Outcomes:

East Carolina - W

Furman - W

Georgia Tech - W

@ North Carolina - L

@ Nebraska - W

Western Kentucky - W

@ Boston College - L

@ Florida State - L

Maryland - W

@ Miami - W

Duke - W

Virginia - W

The Hokies are going to be in a lot of close games this year, which favors teams with good defense and special teams which they both have. In other words, the same formula for success that has made Virginia Tech an ACC Power should be effective this year too. It doesn't hurt that the Hokies avoid the 2 other best teams in the ACC (Clemson and Wake Forest), and go up against many teams that will be just as young as they are. There are going to be some slip-ups this year, especially if Glennon is the starter. But I think this team is going to get a lot better as the season goes on and should end the season with a 9-3 record and on a high note because the back end of the schedule is about as easy as it can get. From there, its a probable showdown in the ACC Championship with Wake or Clemson, which would have to be considered a successful season in Blacksburg.

CFB Preseason Rankings - #20

2008-08-07T14:10:00.004-04:00

With the college football season now less than 30 days from starting, GDB's resident expert Young Swole will begin unleashing his preseason top 25. Today we look at the South Florida Bulls.

For a time in 2007, South Florida seemed to be the cinderella team that could possibly win it all. They were a unknown school with a bunch of no-name players who seemed to have a chance at making it all the way to the championship games as other teams lost all around them. The Bulls couldn't maintain the momentum however, and their season ended with a whimper when they recieved a colossal ass whooping at the hands of Oregon in the Sun Bowl. Don't look for South Florida to go back to irrelevance though, they return a lot of players and have a shot at being just as good this year, but will they be able to maintain success now that they won't sneak up on anyone?

Offense: The Bulls return virtually everyone of note from their offense last year. Matt Grothe returns at quarterback and is a versatile player, but also suffers from Brett Favre-itis in that he forces a lot of throws leading to mistakes and is generally thought to be much better than he is. The key to this offense is whether Mike Ford can carry the load at running back. He's supposed to be an all-world talent but he goes down too easily for his size and also has had fumbling problems. If he can step it up then look for this offense to really take off. Taurus Johnson is a solid wide receiver and should give Grothe a good option to spread the field. If the Bulls can cut down on their offensive mistakes and simply make the plays they need to instead to of trying to do too much, then they should be one of the top offenses in the Big East.

Defense: South Florida is led on defense by George Selvie, who was the most disruptive defense lineman in the nation last year, including Glenn Dorsey and Vernon Gholston. Selvie is simply too quick for interior linemen to stop, sort of like a new age John Randle. His presence alone makes the Bulls defense intimidating, and its likely as a junior that his numbers will be even more impressive this season. The other strength on the Bulls defense were their cornerbacks. But after Mike Jenkins and Trae Williams went to the NFL, the cornerback position now appears to be a question mark. If the newcomers can hold their own, then the front 7 should be able to handle the rest. Not only are players like Tyrone McKenzie and Nate Allen experienced veterans, but they are the type of speedy defenders that disrupt opposing offenses and have led the South Florida renaissance.

Coaching: Jim Leavitt has built this program from scratch, and has quite possibly made it the second most consistent program in the entire state of Florida behind the Gators. His intensity is second to none and it shows in his players. He signs the smaller guys that the big Florida schools don't want, and then turns them into Division 1 players full of intensity and trademark Florida speed. While bigger schools will probably offer him a ton of money in the next few years if he continues the program's ascent, Leavitt is perfect for South Florida and seems to be on the cusp of something even bigger than where he has already gotten this school to.

Predicted schedule and outcomes:

UT - Martin - W
@ Central Florida - W
Kansas - W
@ Florida International - W
@ NC State - W
Pittsburgh - W
Syracuse - W
@ Louisville - L
@ Cincinnati - L
Rutgers - W
Connecticut - W
@ West Virginia - L

Just like in 2007, it looks like South Florida is primed for a very fast start to their season. The early schedule sets up great for them. The game against Kansas is just the type that Leavitt's players love, and the humidity in Tampa in early September is no joke which could lead to a South Florida blowout. The most dangerous early season game in my eyes is at NC State which could be a look ahead game with a matchup with Pitt only 5 days later. If South Florida can make it through those two I think they will be 7-0. Unfortunately I'm still not sold on Matt Grothe playing consistent enough on the road to carry the glory along much longer. Louisville will be extra hype for a big Thursday game and Grothe will probably do some stupid things during that game to help the Cardinals. Cincinnati is just as fast as South Florida and could very easily upset them on the road. After recovering at home, the Bulls will then head to West Virginia. While their fast defense sets up perfectly to stop West Virginia's spread option, i find it impossible for Pat White to lose to them three straight years. Remember that South Florida barely beat WVU even after White was injured in the 2nd quarter, this year is payback in Morgantown. 9-3 is still an impressive season, and with Grothe and Selvie both eligible to come back next year, 2009 could be the true title contending season in Tampa.

CFB Preseason Rankings - #21

2008-08-05T18:20:00.003-04:00

2008 seems to be shaping up as the year of the Bulldog. The University of Georgia has received the #1 ranking in the coaches poll and Fresno State has the talent to go on a Hawaii-like run and get to a BCS game. Fresno has had some talented teams in the past, but this one may have the most potential of any team Pat Hill has ever coached.

Offense: Fresno has pretty much everyone back from a dynamic offense. While offensive coordinator Jim McElwain moved on to to Alabama, don't look for this offense to miss a beat. Quarterback Tom Brandstater returns, as does 4 out of 5 starting offensive linemen and all the running backs who saw time last year. Pat Hill believes in running the ball to be effective, and this year's Fresno edition should be no different. This will help Fresno control the clock as well as open up play-action opportunities to tight end Bear Pascoe and a speedy group of receivers.

Defense: Fresno's defense isn't exactly The Steel Curtain, but it will be aided by the return of many starters. Almost all the secondary returns the youthful defensive line should improve with more experience. The key to Fresno's defensive effort will be getting more big plays out of the unit. One thing is for sure, Fresno is going to have to give up a lot less than 27 points per game as they did last year if they want to make a BCS game. The D should be improved, but it still looks like the offense has the upper hand.

Coaching: Pat Hill gets major props for being one of the ballsiest coaches in the nation. He schedules his teams to go up against some of the biggest programs in the nation. No one will forget how little Fresno almost knocked off USC a few years ago despite the greatest game Reggie Bush ever played, and it seems like every year the Bulldogs knock off a big conference school that they aren't supposed to. Hill has an explosive team this time around and the attitude he instills in his team should guarantee his team will never back down from a challenge, and will have a chance to win even in their games with the big boys.

Predicted Schedule and Outcomes:

@ Rutgers - L

Wisconsin - W

@ Toledo - W

@ UCLA - W

Hawaii - W

Idaho - W

@ Utah State - W

@ Louisiana Tech - L

Nevada - W

New Mexico State - W

@ San Jose State - W

@ Boise State - L

Whenever you have 7 games on the road, your going to have a tough schedule. But Fresno's is made even harder when you consider they have to go cross-country three separate times. The biggest game on the schedule is when Wisconsin rolls into town. This game is going to mean a ton to the team and its the type of game that Pat Hill thrives on. Look for a big upset in this game, though it wouldn't really be too shocking. Unfortunately, Fresno has a penchant for losing WAC games that they really aren't supposed to. I could definitely see them dropping a game to Louisiana Tech or San Jose State as the toll of the early schedule begins to hit home. And while the season will start with dreams of a BCS game, its hard to see Fresno going up to Boise and winning on the blue turf with the WAC title on the line. Still, when you beat Wisconsin at home and go 9-3 on the season, it has to be considered a solid campaign by one of the best teams out side of the big 6 power conferences.

CFB Preseason Rankings - #22

2008-08-04T20:28:00.003-04:00

With the College Football season now less than 30 days away from getting started, GDB's resident expert Young Swole will begin unleashing his preseason top 25. Today we look at the Pitt Panthers.

For the first time since the early 1980's, there is genuine hope in Pittsburgh that their team will once again be a genuine contender. This school fell off so hard that the glory days seem like they never even happened, but thanks to some of the best young players in college football, the pride of Pitt Panther football seems to be returning.

Offense: Pitt's offense is built around LeSean "Shady" McCoy. He was the best freshman running back in the nation not named Knowshon Moreno, and its quite possible he could be even better this year. What will really decide if Pitt's offense takes off is the passing game. Bill Stull is back behind center after missing almost all of last year with injury, and his presence should help the passing game improve. If defenses are forced to respect wide recievers like Derek Kinder, then McCoy will have even more room to run wild.

Defense: Penn State gets all the hype for being Linebacker U, but they didn't even have the best linebacker in the state on their team last year. That honor would go to Scott McKillop, who averaged a healthy 12 tackles per game. He's back this year and has some talented players surrounding him. While the Pitt defensive coordinator moved to Auburn, the presence of Dave Wannstedt always means this defense will be fundamentally sound and strong against the run, which will help keep points off the board.

Coaching: Dave Wannstedt gets clowned on a lot for being a shitty pro coach and for having an uproariously ridiculous moustache, but the fact is he has turned around a dead program and has them on the verge of contending in the Big East. All the recruiting he has done is finally kicking in and Pitt defenitely has the talent to challenge the big boys in the conference. All one has to do is look back at last year's win over West Virginia to see that Wannstedt can coach defense. Now if he can get his players to believe in their talent, Pitt may be ready to contend for a conference championship.

Predicted Schedule and Outcomes

Bowling Green - W

Buffalo - W

Iowa - W

@ Syracuse - W

@ South Florida - L

@ Navy - W

Rutgers - W

@ Notre Dame - W

Louisville - W

@ Cincinnati - L

West Virginia - L

@ Connecticut - L

It is truly a tale of two schedules for Pitt. Early on, there are more cupcakes than a hostess factory. Look for the Panthers to put in work early. Most of the tough games are backloaded and its not going to be easy to carry momentum as the games have more pressure involved. Cincinnati is always a tough place to play and I can't see Pat White losing to Pitt 2 years in a row. While an 8-4 season may seem dissapointing to some, true fans and football scholars will see it as a solid developing season for a team with a very bright future ahead of it.

Darkmane Channels Bill O'Reilly

2008-08-04T15:59:00.000-04:00

CFB Preseason Rankings - No. 23

2008-08-02T14:46:00.003-04:00

Penn State is one of those schools that is more known for its coach than players or recent on-field results. The Joe Paterno retirement story seems to be the only news that has come out of Happy Valley in recent years, which not only shows how much he means to the school but also how average his football team has become. While every few years the Nittany Lions seem to break through and have a solid year, more times than not they hover in the middle of the Big 10. Will this be one of the better recent teams, and will it possibly be Paterno's last season in State College? Lets find out.

Offense: The best thing that happened all offseason for Penn State was that Anthony Morelli used up his eligibility. The only QB in the nation who might possibly match him in overall shittiness last year was Sean Glennon. With Morelli history, Penn State now has to choose between classic passer Pat Devlin or the more athletic Darryl Clark. Chances are they will use both, and that both players will be an upgrade at the position. The Lions have 2 explosive running backs in Evan Royster and Stephon Green, and solid recievers in Derrick Williams and Deon Butler. If the quarterback play improves, its quite possible that Penn State will have the most explosive offense in the Big 10.

Defense: A lot of the big names of recent years have moved on, and their best returning defender is out for the year with injury, but Penn State should continue to have a solid unit. They have a deep and talented group of D-Linemen and they always seem to have good linebackers. The secondary should be respectable, though there doesn't seem to be many game changers back there. One possible question mark is that many of the top defensive players are epic thugs, and have either been suspended for off-field incidents or recently came back from them. If these knuckleheads manage to stay off the police blotter and on the field, Penn State should have their usual solid defense.

Coaching: I'm not going to say a lot of bad things about Paterno, he's an icon in college football and his record speaks for itself. While many are saying he's too old to coach, I think the bigger problem is the apparent lack of control for the players on the football team when it comes to staying out of trouble. Its obvious that some players simply don't respect old JoePa, which is why the program is turning into Thug Central. Paterno doesn't do much technical coaching anymore anyway, but if he can manage to keep his goons on the field he will be doing all he needs to now that he's nearing 200 years of age.

Schedule and Predicted Outcomes:

Coastal Carolina - W

Oregon State - W

@ Syracuse - W

Temple - W

Illinois - W

@ Purdue - W

@ Wisconsin - L

Michigan - W

@Ohio State - L

@ Iowa - W

Indiana - W

Michigan State - W

The schedule sets up pretty easily for Penn State this year. They have 7 winnable home games and only 2 real challenges on the road. Even if they lose to Wisconsin and Ohio State, they will still have a really good chance for those to be their only losses on the season. I'd like to think another loss will emerge on the schedule, but outside of Michigan State or Illinois at home, I frankly don't see where its going to come from which is why Penn State has a really legit shot at going 10-2 this year

CFB Preseason Rankings - No. 24

2008-08-01T19:50:00.003-04:00

Last year, the Illini were the revelation of the Big 10. By taking a bunch of young kids with SEC-caliber speed and combining them with all-world running back Rashad Mendenhall, the Illini ran all the way past the rest of the plodding Big 10 into the Rose Bowl. With so much young talent being brought in thanks to Ron Zook (who recruits like Michael and coaches like Tito), there is hope that the Illinois will become one of the premier programs in the Big 10. How does this year's version stack up with last years, lets take a look and find out.

Offense: No player meant more to their team than Mendenhall was to the Illini last year. His exceptional talent made up for the fact that quarterback Juice Williams struggled to throw the ball accurately to anyone on the team. But now with Mendenhall in the Steel City, Juice is going to have to be reliable for the Illini, because no one knows who is going to be starting behind him at running back. Thankfully for Williams he will be throwing to quite possibly the best wide reciever in the conference in Arrelious Benn. This sophomore came out guns blazing last year and could be virtually uncoverable this year, if only Juice can get him the ball consistently.

Defense: The Illini also lost their leader on defense, when linebacker J Leman graduated this spring. However, there is a lot of talent left over to compensate. Cornerback Vontae Davis should be first-team Big 10 along with Ohio State's Malcolm Jenkins, and people are saying that Martez Wilson has the chance to be the best Illini defender since Simeon Rice was roaming the sidelines at Player U. Furthermore, Zook has taken the SEC philosophy of stockpiling defensive linemen with him to Champaign and while many of his d-linemen are young, they have the talent to dominate. The D will have to step up this year, especially early because its likely the offense is going to be lagging behind while adjusting to life without Mendenhall.

Coaching: Other than Pete Carroll, there may be no better recruiter in college football than Ron Zook. He was the one who signed the players that led Florida to a national championship, and the fact that he can get top-notch prospects to a middle-of-the-road Big 10 team shows that wherever he goes, excellent players will follow. Unfortunately for Zook, recruiting coordinators don't win titles, head coaches do. Zook isn't exactly a mensa member when it comes to football strategy, and many of his teams have struggled from a lack of on-field discipline. This year will be a good test to see if he's learned anything since fleeing The Swamp, because his team is still very young and will need experienced guidance to lead them through a much tougher schedule then they faced last year.

Schedule and Predicted Outcomes:

Missouri - L

E. Illinois - W

La-Lafayette - W

@ Penn State - L

@ Michigan - L

Minnesota - W

Indiana - W

@ Wisconsin - L

Iowa - W

Western Michigan - W

Ohio State - W

@ Northwestern - W

I feel that Illinois is going to struggle out of the blocks but get much better as the young players gain experience over the course of the season. You may think Sweezy is drunk when you see that I picked them to beat Ohio State, but we all see how the Buckeyes struggle with fast and aggressive defenses, which is exactly what the Illini are going to have. The late season push and big win over OSU will launch Illinois towards a possible top-10 ranking in 2009, but they'll have to settle for no better than 8-4 in 2008

College Football Preseason Rankings

2008-07-31T14:06:00.003-04:00

For pretty much the entire time Wake Forest has existed, it has been considered a basketball school. The school has provided the NBA with players like Tim Duncan and Chris Paul, and has imfamously provided CBS viewers with resident curmudgeon Billy Packer. An odd thing has happened in recent years though. Since Jim Grobe arrived at the school, the football team has been transformed from an ACC cupcake to one of the most successful teams in the league. This has been as unlikely as Duke becoming a consistent team, yet Grobe has built a program that now has to be considered one of the best in the ACC, even ahead of powerhouses like Florida State and Miami. This year should be no different, as Wake returns a solid team that could possibly push for a berth in the ACC title game if things fall right.

Offense: Wake is led on offense by senior quarterback Riley Skinner. Very quietly, he has been the best and most consistent quarterback in the ACC for two years running. His experience will help offset a young group of players around him who have talent but not a lot of game experience. The offensive line has lost some starters, but Skinner should be good enough to succeed even if they aren't up to last year's level. This offense won't remind anyone of the Gators in terms of speed and explosiveness, but they will also be really hard to stop for a whole game.

Defense: Wake has created a fast, ball-hawking defense by recruiting extensively in Florida. If you know Florida, you know that means speed. So what you get is a defense full of ballers with dreads flying around and trying to make huge plays. While other teams may still get the cream of the crop from the Sunshine State, Wake has done great at collecting their leftovers and turning those hungry players into solid college starters. Standouts include Alphonso Smith, Aaron Curry and Brandon Ghee. Overall, Wake's defense should allow them to stay in every game they play in, and will give all the young quarterback's in the ACC a really tough time.

Coaching: Its not easy to create a football winner at Wake Forest, but Jim Grobe has done just that. He almost jumped ship and left to Arkansas, but decided to stay at the program he has created out of thin air. Grobe is a great tactician of the game and watching Wake play it is very obvious that they are one of the most well coached teams in the conference, if not the country.

Schedule: Here's how Sweezy is predicting Wake's season to go.

@Baylor - W

Ole Miss - L

@Florida State - W

Navy - W

Clemson - W

@Maryland - L

@Miami - W

Duke - W

Virginia - W

@NC State - L

Boston College - W

Vanderbilt - W

Look for Wake to finish around 9-3. Their highlight of the season will be beating Clemson, and if things fall right they could match up with the Tigers again in the ACC Championship. The schedule has some tricky teams on it, but no one good enough to blow this team out.

MLB Power Poll

2008-07-31T13:22:00.007-04:00

The sands in the MLB trade deadline hourglass are just about to dissapear and surprisingly, it has been a busy one. Normally, when the deadline is done, there's a lot more chatter than actual movement, but this time around, baseball has become exciting again (for non-fantasy players) during the dog days of summer. How much will these deals actually benefit the teams? We won't know until October when one team is pouring the champagne. Right now the winners look to be the Yankees and Angels, but in the future, it looks like the Pirates have stashed away a wealthy booty. Still, knowing Pittsburgh's luck, these guys will all turn out to be epic busts. Let's take a look at a poll that has never been called a bust.

1.) (1) LA Angels of Anaheim- The Angels were already at the top of the poll last week and they already owned baseball's best record. Many teams would be content with that, but LA is looking to put this whole World Series thing out of reach. They traded for Mark "Sexy Texy" Texeira (as the ladies call him) without giving up the farm (Casey Kotchman is but a large cornish game hen in the grand scheme of things). It's just what the Halos needed. Their pitching has been outstanding all year and while their lineup features big names, it hasn't produced like Mike Scioscia was expecting it to. Right now you have to consider these guys the favorite to take home the hardware.

2.) (2) Chicago Cubs- The Cubbies already made their deadline deal when they traded for Rich Harden a week and a half ago. The former Oakland A hurler has given up just 2 ER and struck out 30 (!!!!) in 3 starts with the North siders, but has an 0-1 record to show for it. C'mon Chicago, stop wasting this man's hard work. Harden pitches tonight with the Cubs looking for the sweep over the Brewers. This series has been a huge statement for the Cubbies so far as their offense has blown apart Milwaukee's 3 best pitchers (Sheets, Sabathia, and Parra). If this is a preview of things to come, then this division might not be as close as we once thought.

3.) (6) Tampa Bay Rays- It seems like every week, we go back and forth on who the best team in the AL East is. Right now, it looks like Tampa has taken the throne back by playing slightly above average baseball while the Red Sox flounder. While they have no sweeps since the All-star break, they have yet to lose a series either. They need to play better baseball if they want to keep their lead (it stands at 3 games right now) because the Yanks are coming on very strong and the Sawx are bound to get out of their slump eventually (right?!)

4.) (5) Chicago White Sox- Welcome to the Windy City Junior. The White Sox made, in my opinion, a rather unneccessary trade by acquiring Ken Griffey Jr. from the Reds. They've already got a stacked OF, but I guess it can't hurt. It seems like every new series that begins, I say to myself..."This is when the White Sox are going to come back to earth". Every time though, they prove me wrong by lighting up the scoreboard. On their recent 6 game road against the Tigers and Twins, they're split 3-3. I would think they've gotta be happy with that considering the way the other two teams have been playing over the past month. With a win tonight, Ozzie's Club will build a 2.5 game cushion on the Twins heading into lowly KC tommorow.

5.) (7) New York Yankees- It's hard to argue that the Yanks are one of the most dangerous teams in baseball right now. Not only are they playing at a high caliber, but they just made two huge trades that could pay dividends for them if they make the playoffs. They tackled 3 needs without giving up a lot. By trading with the Pirates for Xavier Nady and Damaso Marte, the Pinstripes shore up their bullpen to make it even with Boston's and set their OF for the rest of the year. Thanks to some delusional minds in Detroit's front office, the Bombers were able to replace the injured Jorge Posada with arguably the greatest postseason catcher ever in Pudge Rodriguez. It was also addition by subtraction and they parted ways with perennial douchebag Kyle Farnsworth. Watch out for the Yankees!

6.) (3) Boston Red Sox- The Red Sox have to be in panic mode right now. After getting swept by the Juggernaut known as the Angels, they're 3 back of Tampa Bay, and only a game ahead of their arch nemesis in New York. The pitching seems to be fine, the bullpen is solid, the hitting is alright. So what gives? Mediocre adjectives shouldn't be describing this team. They are as talented as any other in the majors and need to start playing like they did in the playoffs last year. It's the same club, so if they want to pull ahead they need to play up to their potential.
UPDATE: The Red Sox moved Manny Ramirez, OF Brandon Moss, and RP Craig Hansen and got Jason Bay in return. On paper, it looks like they got ripped, but maybe without Manny's distractions they can start playing up to potential.

7.) (9) St. Louis Cardinals- The Red Birds are somehow still lurking close in the division race. With a 3 game win streak (coupled with the Brew Crew's 4 game slide) they're tied with Milwaukee once again. The return of former Cy Young winner Chris Carpenter makes this team one to watch down the stretch. I don't quite understand why they haven't made any moves to bolster their lineup, but I guess they don't want to mortgage the future just yet. All I'm saying is, don't count out the Cards. They're feisty, and right now they're tied for the wild card lead.

8.) (4) Milwaukee Brewers- Last week, this was the hottest team in baseball. They had a chance to take the lead in the NL Central, but it's tough when you're matching up with a team that's just smidge better. It doesn't help that this team is directly above you in the standings. Still there are no excuses for possibly getting swept by the Cubs. The Cheese heads may be content with just locking down the wild card, but that may not be good enough in the end if they don't start winning meaningful series'. They've got 7 more games with Chicago, including 3 at home to close out the regular season.

9.) (-) Minnesota Twins - The Twinkies return to the poll after capturing 4 of their last 5 games to close to within a game and a half of division leading Chicago. Minny is in a great position to take over that lead if they can take out the White Sox tonight. Their next 3 series come against bottom dwellers Cleveland, Seattle, and Kansas City. Management has been great in the Twin Cities all year, but the only question I have is: Where the hell is Francisco Liriano!?!

10.) (10) Philadelphia Phillies- Just when it looked like the Mets had a stranglehold on the division by taking 2 of 3 from the Phils, New York lays an egg against 3rd place Florida. This makes way for Philadelphia to regain the NL East lead once again via a 4 game win streak. During that stretch, they've scored 22 runs, albeit against the soft tossing Nats and Braves. Still, when it comes down to it, wins are wins, and with the ever-consistent Brad Lidge closing out games, a lead in the 9th is all they need. A very exciting series in St. Louis looms tommorow.

Honorable Mention: New York Mets, Florida Marlins, Detroit Tigers, Texas Rangers

ESPN - Where Racist Hypocrisy Lives

2008-07-24T15:46:00.002-04:00

If you are a sports fan, its pretty much impossible to avoid ESPN. Therefore, if you watch ESPN during the summer months you are forced to endure manufactured stories and features that are in no way meant to inform, but instead used to drum up completely unfounded and wholly unnecessary controversy. In 2008, ESPN is using a combination of Brett Favre's retirement status and their own "Titletown" series to take up most of their airtime. Sure, lip service is paid to baseball and other sports, but if you take any time watching the channel you can easily see what their focus is upon.

I bring up this present day programming to illustrate the racist and hypocritical coverage that ESPN creates. It was a short three years ago that the network did the same thing to Terrell Owens that it has now done to Brett Favre. Thanks in part to ESPN's coverage, TO became public enemy #1 for contract demands he was making towards the Philadelphia Eagles. As is par with the course, meaningless events became overblown news stories, such as TO's agent holding a press conference or a fight in preseason training camp. Furthermore, virtually every talking head on ESPN went well out of their way to convict Owens in the court of public opinion before the entire story even played itself out. So thanks to ESPN's willingness to create controversy in Owens' contract dispute and their incredible pull they have in shaping public opinion on such issues thanks to the sports coverage monopoly they have, Terrell Owens career was forever changed. Nevermind the fact that Owens obviously loves the spotlight, the true crime in this entire saga from three years ago was in that TO is now commonly portrayed as a greedy thug who cares more about himself than any team he has ever been on. This depiction has become so engrained in public thinking that all of TO's ensuing accomplishments have taken a backseat to his perceived nature. Forget that Owens has scored double-digit touchdowns since joining Dallas, or that he has never had an issue with the law, or even that he has been a model teammate for his new team, the bottom line is that he will always be better known for the description that ESPN created for him three years ago.

Now fast forward to the present day. Its painfully obvious that ESPN is desperate for another publicity horse to ride during the slow days of summer. You'd think that they'd jump at a chance for any mention of a story involving Terrell Owens, considering how obsessed they have been to crucify the man during any of their television shows or game coverage, especially if the story possibly involved one of their own writers. Therefore, it brought a smile to my face to read the following account from ESPN writer Sam Alipour, and then the overwhelming lack of mention of the event in the following days from the network.

"Terrell Owens was standing over me. I'm told he was the first do-gooder on the scene of the accident. That he helped me to my feet and off the street to safe ground. That he didn't leave my side. It seems the mercurial Dallas Cowboys receiver is my hero. But my hero looks scared, and this scares me."Wow, you all right, man?" Owens kept asking me, but in a manner that would suggest there is no possible way that I, in fact, could be all right. "Don't move. Just sit there. Breathe. Don't move."It's now that I noticed the car's jacked windshield, which sports a hole the size of, well, my upper torso.[...]"That was crazy. Crazy," Owens confirmed. "You all right, man?"

So wait. The same TO that has been portrayed as a menace to society actually helped someone? And furthermore, the same man who had been drawn through the mud more than anyone else in the history of the network actually made sure an employee of that network was OK after suffering a severe car crash? Wow, that sure makes TO sound like a normal human to me, not the fire-breathing monster that hates his teammates as much as he loves money, which is after all what ESPN led us to believe. This whole revelation was way too much for ESPN to report, after all their little lab creation had turned human right before their eyes. So ESPN decided to make no mention of the accident and TO's response anywhere on their site or on their network, even though the event involved one of their own employees. The only show that even paid lip-service to the event was "ESPN First Take" on which Skip Bayless opined that TO didn't help the man out of the car out of goodness of heart, but instead implied that his actions were staged so that he'd become more of a good guy in the eyes of public perception. Basically it came down to ESPN having a chance to apologize to a man they did their best to destroy, but instead they came off as too prideful to acknowledge even one good thing that Terrell Owens did in his life.

I'll complete this commentary by comparing the Terrell Owens coverage to that of which ESPN has given to Brett Favre. For two athletes that are much more similar than you would think, ESPN has clearly taken sides based untrue racial beliefs and our society's hidden fear to accept black people the same way we accept whites. Lets take a look and see how similar Owens and Favre really are. Both won Super Bowl titles early in their career and have failed to since. Owens has come closest recently, putting in a legendary performance on a broken foot against the Patriots, while Favre interceptions have led to the two most recent Packer losses in NFC Championship games. Both men have achieved NFL records during their career. Favre has virtually every passing record in the league, and Owens may very well have a chance at wide reciever career records if he maintains his current pace. Both men are fearsome competitors willing to play through pain in order to win. On the opposite end of things, both men also have enormous ego's that have led to similar events in their careers, although the media has treated them very differently. Whereas Owens' confrontations with quarterbacks Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb have turned him into a egotistical manaic, Favre's confrontations with star receiver Javon Walker and understudy Aaron Rodgers have been blown over time after time. And while Owens' desire to play for a different team made him selfish, Favre's obvious intention to play for the Minnesota Vikings is fine and dandy in the eyes of the media. In fact, if you look at the play of both men in recent years, it can be argued that it is Owens who deserves the benefit of the doubt more than Favre. While Owens is still a top-5 receiver in the NFL, Favre's play has been falling off greatly in recent years. (And for those buffoons who think Favre had a great year last year, the reason he was better was because defenses had to focus on the Packers running game which allowed Favre more time to find his two excellent recievers on the outside against single coverage). It was Favre who threw the interception in overtime against the Giants, yet he is still glorified and exempted from any sort of blame.

So after looking at every angle in this comparison, its easy to see that the difference between Brett Favre and Terrell Owens comes down to one constrast that is as easy to see as black and white. Favre for almost 20 years has been the white hero of America, the kind of guy that we can look up to and admire. Substance abuse, illegitimate children, greed, selfishness, and bad play have all been ignored while ESPN and the rest of the media focus more on the fact that Favre "has fun" when he plays, "seems like a nice guy to be around", and "only cares about winning". On the other hand, Owens has become the black boogeyman for our society, a figure who becomes the straw man for white Americans to implicity state the racist beliefs they still have towards blacks. He is the greedy black thug who cares about money more than his teammates. He is a publicity whore who is destroying our country's moral fabric. He is the player who parents refuse to allow their son's to pretend to be in backyard football games. He may even be gay. Nevermind the fact that he is one of the best wide receivers in NFL history who has played injured in the biggest games and still produced, who has become an excellent teammate since joining the Dallas Cowboys, and even helps out people involved in car crashes, that side of TO doesn't help further ESPN's racial agenda, which is all about glorifying white men while crucifying similar black men and forcing its viewers to agree with this perception.

MLB Power Poll

2008-07-24T12:16:00.005-04:00

This blog needs an injection as no one has posted in a over a week. I've been busy at work while I'm sure my colleagues have just been lazy. Last week the poll took a hiatus for the All-star game so we have a lot to catch up on here. Let's take a look at how much the rankings changed since then. A new addition is the Number in Perentheses before the team name. It represents that team's previous ranking. A dash means they were absent from the last edition.

1.) (4) LA Angels of Anaheim (62-39)- LA regains the top slot for the second time. They've somehow took over the top record in baseball by quietly playing error free baseball over the past 2 weeks. The Halos have won 7 of 8 and something that's been missing all year (the offense) is finally starting to get into gear. They've scored 11+ runs twice since the all-star break. It's starting to look like K Rod is gonna set the record for saves in a season. He's 15 away from tying Bobby Thigpen with 2 months to go in the season.

2.) (3) Chicago Cubs (60-42)- The Cubbies make their highest appearance on the Poll since hitting #1 four weeks ago. They've got the top record in the NL, but are only 1 up on the streaking Brewers. It's important that they start taking a page from Milwaukee and start a streak of their own. They go for their 3rd in a row tonight against the Marlins, but haven't won more than 3 straight in a month and a half.

3.) (5) Boston Red Sox (60-43)- The Red Sox will get a Huge boost tonight in their lineup when David Ortiz returns against the Yankees. Big Papi has been MIA since the beginning of June and he couldn't have picked a better time to return. The Red Sox are tied atop the NL East and will need to put on a good show this weekend if they don't want to be in a 3 way war with the Yanks and Rays. It's been awhile since a Boston/New York matchup has actually been as important as the media is making it out to be. Tonight it's a battle of the aces and J. Chamberlain faces J. Beckett.

4.) (6) Milwaukee Brewers (59-43)- The Brew Crew is by far the hottest team in baseball right now. With 8 straight wins under their belts, Milwaukee is just a game back of the Cubs in the NL Central and have a 3 game lead over STL in the Wild Card race (the team they just swept). The CC Sabathia trade has give the Brewers an enormous advantage in pitching depth over the rest of the league. He's 4-0 with CG in his past 3 games. A spectacular series looms next week as Chicago travels to Wisconsin for a 4 game set.

5.) (1) Chicago White Sox (57-43)- Big drop for the Chi Sox this week. Their record isn't awful in their last 10 (4-6), but they've been past by teams that are just superior right now. At one point it looked like the White Sox were going to run away with the NL Central, but a combination of their lackluster play and the resurgence of Minnesota and Detroit has left their title in the balance.

6.) (2) Tampa Bay Rays (59-42)- The Rays are playing themselves out of contention with just a 4-10 record since the second week of July. Their schedule hasn't even been difficult. Their last 4 series have been against the A's, Brew Jays, Royals, and Indians. They're gonna need to turn things around quickly if they want to stay afloat in the ultra competitive AL East (3 teams in the Top 7 of this Poll).

7.) (9) New York Yankees (56-45)- The Yanks are on a sizzling 6 game win streak and could be tied atop the AL East with a sweep of the BoSox and 3 straight losses by the Rays. Early on it didn't look like New York would be able to overcome the loss of Chien Ming Wang, but Joba Chamberlain has filled in admirably and has become the new ace of a surprisingly durable staff that includes vets Mike Mussina and Andy Pettite. "The Hut" has much to prove tonight against last year's Cy Young Runner Up Josh Beckett.

8.) (-) New York Mets (55-47)- The Mets have been arguably just as good as their cross-town rivals. After a 10 game win sreak, the Amazin's just won their last 2 against their division foes to the south. They just passed Philly with the last win to take a 1 game lead in the NL East. They've got another big series against the next team in the poll with the fresh faced Mike Pelfrey taking the hill tonight. He had won 6 in a row before imploding in his last start at Cincy.

9.) (8) St. Louis Cardinals (57-47)- The red birds were looking to make a statement in their series with the Brewers this week. They made a statement alright, but it wasn't the one they were looking for. Milwaukee swept the Cards in the Lou to go pull 3 ahead in the standings. The Cardinals now get to look forward to an 11 game stretch against NL East division contenders starting with the Mets tonight.

10.) (10) Philadelphia Phillies (54-48)- The Phillies got a taste of their own medicine this week. Last season, it was Philly sneaking up on the Mets to take the division lead and snag a playoff spot, but this year the tables were turned, albeit a lot earlier in the year. Philadelphia still has plenty of time to regain control, but they absolutely must trade for a pitcher if they want to feel better about their chances of taking the NL East crown.

Others Receiving Votes: Minnesota Twins, Detroit Tigers, Florida Marlins

Another reason why tennis is amazing

2008-07-16T21:44:00.003-04:00

Yup, she's from Georgia.

MLB 2nd Half Predictions

2008-07-16T20:29:00.003-04:00

The All-Star game has come and gone. Thanks to Fox starting the game at damn near 9pm on the east coast, I couldn't even make it to the end of the game. It turns out the AL won for the 11th year in a row in the 15th inning, yet I doubt anyone who was watching at the beginning made it all the way to the end. Now that the fitting tribute to Yankee Stadium has passed, its time to look forward to the 2nd half of the season with shocking predictions that are guaranteed to come true...

3 General Predictions:

1. George Steinbrenner will not outlive Yankee Stadium. Yeah it was sad seeing him golf-carted around the stadium, but quite honestly I'm not going to feel sorry for one of the most epic dickheads in baseball history.

2. Both Chicago teams will make the playoffs, and neither New York team will. It comes down to pitching folks, and while the Cubs and White Sox have among the strongest staffs in baseball, the New York teams are mediocre and inconsistent at best.

3. Barry Bonds will get signed by someone. Just wait until a major team falls behind in the stadium and needs a jumpstart. As Grady once said "Desperation is a stinky cologne", but someone will trade the funky stink of Bonds for postseason hope.

Award Predictions:

AL MVP: Justin Morneau

AL Cy Young: John Lackey

AL Rookie of the Year: Evan Longoria

AL Manager of the Year: Joe Madden

NL MVP: Chase Utley

AL Cy Young: Ben Sheets

NL Rookie of the Year: Hiroki Kuroda

NL Manager of the Year: Lou Piniella

Division Predictions:

AL East: Boston

AL Central: Chicago

AL West: Anaheim

AL Wild Card: Minnesota

We've already seen the Rays start to weaken in the division race, and while they have been awesome so far I just can't see how they can keep up this level for the entire season playing in such a tough division. Boston has the most complete team and should continue to pull away while the Yankees inconsistencies and injury concerns will greatly hinder them. Chicago has the pitching and Minnesota is the most exciting young team in the AL and could possibly get Francisco Liriano back in the 2nd half too. Anaheim should run away with the AL West with their awesome staff.

NL East: Philadelphia

NL Central: Chicago

NL West: LA Dodgers

NL Wild Card: Milwaukee

The Phillies are by far and away the most mentally tough team in the NL East, and also have the best lineup and bullpen. If they can add a starter at the deadline they should be good to go. The Cubs and Brewers have to be considered the 2 best teams in the entire NL, and their excellent starting pitching will prevent them from having long slumps. St. Louis has been a good story but unless they make a big trade it will be hard for them to keep up with these guys in their division. Out west is anyone's guess, they all suck out there, but I'll give the edge to the Dodgers because of their manager and young players.

World Series Prediction:

Anaheim -vs- Chicago, Angels win in 6.

Baseball Advertising Blows

2008-07-15T21:31:00.004-04:00

Baseball is my favorite sport, but as far as marketing goes, they are a distant third behind the NFL and the NBA. Why can't baseball have good commercials too? Maybe it's Fox (my employer), or maybe it's the MLB, but it's clear they need to hire a better ad agency (or maybe steal some away from the NBA/NFL).

The past few years, shit's been weak for the MLB. Dane Cook last year??!
C'mon. Can't you guys do better than the most overrated/annoying comedian on the planet. This year, they've got some no-name blogger as their spokesman for the playoffs. This is a terrible marketing ploy. I'm a blogger, and I love writing, but let's be for real. That's not going to make me or anyone else more interested in watching the playoffs. It's all about the big names (and I'm not talking about obnoxious Dane Cook).

The NBA has won it's way back into America's hearts with great ad campaigns. Last year they had prime timers hyping up the playoffs including Jeremy Piven (Entourage's Ari Gold), Will Smith and other "now" actors. This year they had the slogan "There's Only One" and "Where _____ Happens". Both were very successful. The Super Bowl is known as having unquestionably the best commercials of any sporting event. Football has been strong for years and is so far ahead of every other american sport that it can just stay consistent and keep it's crown.

So MLB, if you want to avoid becoming a joke, get some new Ad Guru's. PS: If I see another ad for FrankTV I'm going to kill someone (most likely Joe Buck).

Shut Up Papelbon

2008-07-15T15:35:00.003-04:00

Classy guys like Justin Morneau rarely get the headlines. It's usually idiots spouting off bullshit that get their names on ESPN.com. Well that's the case once again with one of the most annoying players in the game right now. Jonathon Papelbon is known for taunting opposing teams and talking shit after he strikes anyone out.

Yesterday he said that he should close the All-star game tonight instead of Mariano Rivera, despite the fact that the game is in Yankee Stadium and Rivera has better stats than him this year and is light years ahead of him on the career scale.

"We've both earned that right; us, by winning the World Series and having the opportunity of having our manager there and our team being represented, and Mariano by what he's done for this role, we're in Yankee Stadium and blah, blah, blah," Papelbon said. "It's not that easy. Everybody thinks it's a cut and dry answer, but it's not. If I was managing the team, I would close, I'm not managing the team, so it don't matter."

He backed off his comments a little bit today saying that he thinks Rivera will get the nod, but who does this chump think he is. He's been in the league for less than 3 years and already thinks he's God's gift. This isn't the first time this year that he's talked shit.

He ran his mouth about the Rays a month ago saying that "it wasn't over between them" and that "they were going to get what was coming to them" after a brawl between the two teams in their previous series (the Rays went on to sweep the Red Sox). Paps has even hated on his own teammates saying pitcher Manny Delcarmen couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. The young pole smoker needs to know his place.

Sure he's a great closer right now, but how many just like him have come along. Remember when Eric Gagne won the Cy young a couple of years ago...where's he at now? Learn some respect you tool bag and shut your mouth.

Feel the Power

2008-07-15T00:15:00.007-04:00

Tonight as I go to bed I cannot help but think I've just witnessed what will be one of the enduring baseball memories of my lifetime: Josh Hamilton absolutely CRUSHING baseball after baseball in the 2008 Home Run Derby.

The mere fact that he hit 28 home runs is enough to make it a memorable performance, but far more impressive than the number of dingers he hit is the distance he hit them. He hit at least three of those balls more than 500 ft. Granted it might not be as masterful a hitting display as this, but it sure comes close (pardon my sarcasm).

And it was nice to see him give credit to Jesus, since after Barack Obama is elected we will all have to worship his god. Unfortunately Indiana Jones will be too old to save us this time around.

As for Justin Morneau, it was truly refreshing to see a professional athlete with the self-awareness and presence of mind to realize that while he held the victor's trophy, something more special had taken place tonight. Morneau humbly accepted his trophy before quickly redirecting the spotlight on the evening's star: Josh Hamilton. Morneau, a player who I've always respected for his quiet yet successful approach to the game, not to mention his MVP-level talent, took a huge jump in my book. He's a true class act.

Hamilton's story is an inspiration to anyone who is struggling with personal problems of their own. He created for himself a hellish reality of life fraught with drug addiction and substance abuse, and then, with the help of his faith and his family, pulled himself up to become a favorite for the AL MVP, a starter for the All-Star Game, and the 2008 Home Run Derby Champion in everything but the offical records. Bravo Mr. Hamilton.

Thursday Night Observations

2008-07-10T18:41:00.002-04:00

Time for Sweezy to get on the soapbox and opine on some of the events of our time...

- In the final year of Yankee Stadium, its fitting that it hosts the All-Star game. I am hoping though that this is the last great moment in the stadium. I'd find it hilarious if there was no October baseball in The Bronx this year so that we could avoid all the sob stories about Yankee Nostalgia. Hopefully the stadium and the Yanks will go out in the most painful way possible, and I can't think of a better way than a meaningless game between a Red Sox team that has already clinched the division and a Yankees team with no postseason hope.

- On the subject of the All-Star game, its time for fans to be eliminated from voting for the starters. Their idiocy is one of the major factors ruining the Summertime Classic. Simply put, marginal players like Dustin Pedroia and Kosuke Fukudome do not deserve to even be in the stadium, let alone starting for their respective leagues. MLB should do something like allow fans to keep voting, but rig the votes so that more deserving players get the nod, such as Ian Kinsler or Carlos Lee.

- Could it also be the All-Star game has been losing ratings because of the deplorable announcers in charge of calling the events? First up you have Chris Berman saying the same hideously annoying catchphrases he has for the last 20 years during the Home Run Derby, and then you have the smug Joe Buck and senile Tim McCarver calling the actual game. If MLB was serious about making the All-Star game relevant, it would replace these hacks with people who are actually interested in describing the game instead of hearing their own voices and reveling in their bloated sense of self-importance.

- Its amazing how Todd Jones is still a closer. Thats all i'm going to say after today's performance. He better not be seen in Athens, Georgia tonight or he's gonna get got.

- Another banner day for the NFL as another player, Matt Jones, gets arrested for felony possession of cocaine. I'd argue that this charge is much more serious than anything Michael Vick or Adam Jones have been convicted of, but racism still doesn't exist in sports right?

- If breaking news is considered to be Brett Favre sending a text message, then its going to be a long hot summer full of worthless Favre speculation. I don't know whats more unbelievable about this; the fact that news sources deemed this important enough to smother with coverage, or the fact that supposed country yokel Favre even knew how to text message. Maybe he learned how to in rehab.

- I'm calling it right now, Sixers in the NBA Finals next year. People are about to learn just how good Elton Brand is.

- This whole Brandon Jennings to Europe thing is pretty interesting, I'm just shocked someone hasn't done it before. There's really no language barrier in large European cities, the players will get paid handsomely for their services, and European poon is no joke (though still not close to SEC Poon).

- Its pretty hilarious to hear the things that Charlie Weis says. Earlier this week he commented that its possible for Notre Dame to be 11-0 heading into a game with USC in November, and in regards to winning that game Weis said "Anything's possible." This is coming from the (gaping) mouth of a man who could possibly be the most incompetent head coach in Notre Dame history. Seriously this man makes Bob Davie look like Tom Osborne. Weis has used every excuse in the book for his lackluster career record, I'm just waiting for the day that someone actually calls him out on the bullshit that is his coaching prowess and overall just his worth as a human being. At least it keeps Notre Dame a laughingstock for the entire country, which I guess is a gift i should be more thankful for.

- Its been a pretty good week for viewing entertainment in the life of the Sweezic One. First I saw Wall-E on Tuesday which was absolutely incredible. Its good to see creative and innovative movies get shine at the expense of the formulaic tripe that Hollywood has overdosed upon in recent years. Tonight is also the 2nd season premiere of Burn Notice. If you've never seen the show, you are missing out. Not only is it fun and entertaining, but it also provided awesome tips if you ever have the need to blow shit up, escape from evil people or just be a menace to society in general. Finally, next weekend will be the opening of The Dark Knight. This movie is getting a ton of hype, and with the actors and producers involved I have a feeling its going to be beyond justified after all is said and done.

Alright I feel sick to my stomach for including that disgusting picture of Charlie Weis. So I will leave you now with a glorious picture of SEC Poon to cleanse your mind with.

MLB Power Poll All Star Edition

2008-07-10T15:59:00.005-04:00

We're just 5 days away from the 2008 All-Star game and I've got some opinions on the big week at Yankee Stadium. From the looks of it, the NL is more stacked than the AL. Year after year, it always appears that the National League has the bigger name players going into the game, but every All-Star game since 1996 has ended the same way...a Big W for the American League (save for the tie game in 2002). Could this be the year that the NL finally breaks through? My guess is no. I'm going with 7-5 AL with my boy Justin Morneau hitting a 2 run double to break the tie in the 7th inning. Many people think that it would be most meaningful to have Mariano Rivera start the game, but I think he should finish off the contest in the 9th. He's been a closer pretty much his whole career and it only makes sense that he's in there at the end while the Yankee Stadium crowd gives him a standing ovation.

As for the actual rosters, I think that for the most part they are pretty legit. I'm glad Matt Holliday will be starting for the NL. Even though he's missed 3 weeks this year, he's still been arguably a top 5 player in the game and already deserved the spot over Kosuke Fukudome (highly overrated). Carlos Lee, Brandon Phillips, Garrett Atkins and a trio of Mets (David Wright, Carlos Beltran, and Jose Reyes) all got the shaft. On the AL side I think the roster is pretty much as it should be, although Ian Kinsler should be starting over Dustin Pedroia, but I'm sure he'll get a chance to shine. I also think Justin Morneau should have gotten the starting nod over Kevin Youkilis, but it's all good. Evan Longoria deservedly gets a slot on the team through the last chance fan vote. Alright, I'm off my soap box. Let's check out the poll.

1.) Chicago White Sox (53-37)- Are you kidding me, another new number 1 team? You better believe it! For the third week in a row we've got first timer holding down the top spot. The White Sox may not have the best record in baseball, but they are playing better than anyone in the game right now. It's the same formula they used when they won the world series in 2005 with a full team effort every game. They're currently on a 4 game winning streak including a huge come from behind 7-6 W over the Royals last night. With the division starting to get better, the Chi Sox have upped their play to counter the Twins and Tigers.

2.) Tampa Bay Rays (55-35)- The Rays fall off the top after getting swept by the Yankees. It looked like they couldn't be stopped after the sweep of the Red Sox, but since then they've looked mediocre at best. I'm still not worried about this team and in the end I think they are still gonna make the playoffs, but they can't afford to get complacent with the defending champs and the red hot Yanks in their rear view mirror.

3.) Chicago Cubs (55-37)- The Cubs continue to dominate the National League and it's not really even close between them and the next best teams (Brewers/Cardinals). It looked like they were going to have some major trouble in their quest to win the NL Central after Milwaukee picked up CC Sabathia. So what do the North Siders do? They go and pick up an equally dominant starter in Rich Harden. The fragile flame thrower will be a huge assett for the Cubs down the stretch if he can stay healthy. It looks like Carlos Zambrano has put his injury issues behind him as he's allowed just 1 run in each of last two starts after coming off the DL last week.

4.) LA Angels of Anaheim (54-37)- The Angels are still rolling along under the radar, but they could be in the public eye more if they could start putting a winning streak together. They're allowing the A's to stay right behind them because they can't put any kind of momentum together. They just dropped their past 2 to the Rangers both by 1 run. As good as the pitching has been, the offense has dissapointed big time. Poor Jered Weaver has gotten robbed of wins in his last 2 starts, pitching a 6 inning no hitter last week and giving up just 1 ER yesterday...both Angels losses. In the long run, I think they'll be alright considering the A's just gave up their best pitcher, but don't sleep on the high octane Rangers.

5.) Boston Red Sox (55-39)- It looked like the Red Sox were just about to go into tailspin mode after dropping 7 of 9 coming into this week, but they've bounced back in a big way with a sweep over the smokin' Twins. Tommorow they welcome back a fresh face in Clay Bucholtz. He'll be facing the team he no-hit last year, the Baltimore Orioles. This team is going to be scary once again when David Ortiz comes back.

6.) Milwaukee Brewers (50-41)- Milwaukee made the first big splash of trading period with their recent acquisition of CC "The Hamburglar" Sabathia. He looked very good in his first start with the cheese heads and should be a big piece of the puzzle for the Brewers if they end up going deep into the playoffs. He becomes a part of the 3 headed monster on the pitching staff with Ben Sheets and Manny Parra and in a playoff series, they are going to be quite a handful for their opponents.

7.) Minnesota Twins (51-41)- After getting swept by the Red Sox, the Twinkies just stuck a dagger in the heart of my Tigers with an 11th inning Homer off the bat of Justin Morneau. Big Poppa Canada went 5 for 5 in the game and has been on a tear lately with 11 hits in his last 4 games including 2 bombs. Like I said earlier, he should be starting in the All-star game and I hope he gets a slot in the Home Run Derby. Another plus for the Twins is the impending return of Francisco Liriano. He's been tearing up Triple A pitching and give a boost to a weak Twins pitching staff in need some fire for the second half.

8.) St. Louis Cardinals (51-42)- The Cards have yet to win a series this month after dropping two straight to the Phillies. They're still in the race in the NL Central, but for how long? If the red birds are serious about making the playoffs, they need to make a move. I suggest snagging AJ Burnett from the Blue Jays. As they say, birds of a feather flock together. I know it'd be kind of reactionary, but at this point, they are definitely trailing the Brewers and the Cubs in the talent department and with Mark Mulder and Chris Carpenter doubtfully making an impact this year, it's going to be a necessity to add another arm if they don't want to get left by the wayside.

9.) New York Yankees (49-42)- Just when it looked like the Yankees were dead, they go and sweep the team with the best record in baseball. They're on a 4 game win streak and will look to make it 5 in a row against the hapless Pirates in a make-up game tonight. It's the last interleague play game of the year and I'd love to make the 3 hour trip down to PNC park to see it, but alas I've got work tonight. Has anyone ever been to the ballpark in Pittsburgh? I heard it's absolutely beautiful. Back to the Yanks, it's kind of surprising to see them only get 3 players into the All-star game considering it's at their park, but the quality of the trio (A Rod, Jeter, and Rivera) is hard to surpass. They combine for 30 appearances all time in the All-star game...that's more than the total of the rest of the AL Pitching Roster (11 players).

10.) Philadelphia Phillies (50-43)- The Phillies sneak back into the poll after a 2 game win streak. Chase Utley is back on top of the baseball world with 25 HR. I think it's safe to say he's the front runner for the NL MVP. Amazingly, they're still barely hanging on in the NL East after the Mets recent surge to crawl to within a game and a half in the division. They've gotta pick up the pace and a perfect way to do it is with a 3 game home sweep over somehow also division leading Arizona Diamondbacks (44-45) this weekend.

Also Receiving Votes: NY Mets, Oakland A's, Texas Rangers, Detroit Tigers

Don't Get Hosed

2008-07-10T14:11:00.001-04:00

Tennis Wasn't Invented Yesterday....

2008-07-08T18:37:00.020-04:00

While my venerable colleague Young Swole might have a man-crush on Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer that's even bigger than Serena Williams' booty, he and others might be surprised to find out that there was such a thing as tennis before 2003. While many people, from the Swolemeister to Brad "I love myself more than anyone" Gilbert, were quick to annoint the Federer/Nadal Wimbledon final the Greatest Match of All Time...that simply is not the case. And even if it does somehow prove to be, saying so is reactionary at best, and fails to respect the illustrious history of this gentlemans game, at worst.

It's true that Federer has dominated the ATP for the past 232 weeks or so, but I would make the case that he has done so without a true rival to challenge him. Sure, Nadal won one Slam final against Roger the Great, but until last year he was little more than a clay-court specialist, the next Gustavo Kuerten, if you will. So while so many out there are eager to annoint him "The Greatest Player of All Time," I don't think that is the case. True champions become known as such because they elevate their game to a new level in the face of equally talented competition. Let's look at a few examples...

-Pete Sampras & Andre Agassi
Swole would make you think that the game has been dominated by one-dimensional players...hard servers with few other weapons. But that is simply not the case. Unless your memory has been burned by Amy Winehouse-esque drug use, you shouldn't have forgotten these two giants of the game just yet. Sampras might have had the best serve of all time (you don't get the nickname "Pistol Pete" for your Bukakke skills) but he could also play at the net and volley like no other. And as any true tennis afficionado knows, serve-and-volley is the purest playing strategy in the game. Little known fact: Sampras did all this with a racquet measuring only 85 sq/in, 10 less than any racquet used by today's players, and it was strung tighter than a...well there's too many good jokes there. Let's just say it was strung hella tight. And that is why Agassi was a supreme foil to the King of Swing...he had the best groundstrokes of his era. He was one of the only players in history who you could sense was MORE confident when returning serve than serving. Sampras and Agassi truly defined the game from the mid-90's to early 00's. Oh by the way....Agassi is the only man to win the "Golden Slam," by winning every Grand Slam tournament and an Olympic Gold medal in his career. (The only woman to do so just happens to be his wife Stefi Graf, a pretty good player you also might have heard of).

And let's not forget the epic matches these guys provided. Sampras' final match, the '01 U.S. Open final, was one of the most epic and emotional matches of all time. It was the final Grand Slam title won by the man who has won more than any other. There wasn't a single break of serve in any of the five sets.

What about Sampras v. Roddick in the semi's of the same tournament?
Agassi winning the Australian Open when he had been all but retired by the media and so-called tennis "experts?"
Sampras, unable to keep his lunch in his stomach due to the flu, yaking all over the court and STILL defeating Alex Corretja?

-Bjorn Borg & John McEnroe
The definative rivalry of the 1980's. Borg was an appropriate name for the big Swede. His approach to the game was just like the Star Trek machine: cold, methodical, and ruthless. He won five French Opens and five Wimbledons, an amazing feat when you consider the stark contrasts between clay and grass. He was only stopped from winning a sixth Wimbledon by the emergence of a complete contrast in styles: John McEnroe. The Brat was part of a new era of athletes, who lived their lives off the court with as much flash and noise as they did on it. Their 1981 Wimbledon final signaled the end of Borg's dominance and the dawn of a new era in tennis.

-Rod Laver & John Newcombe
This is going way back to dudes who played with wooden racquets. However, Laver won all four Grand Slams multiple times, once winning all four in a calendar year. His 11 Slam titles were a record for thirty years until Sampras topped the number. If you ever are lucky enough to catch footage of his game do not pass up the opportunity to watch the man who has what is universally agreed to be the most complete and technically flawless game in history. His longtime foe Newcombe was no slouch either, winning seven Slam's of his own (although, like Sampras, never capturing a French title). He, like Sampras, probably never won at Roland Garros because his game revolved around a huge serve and then volleying, which is difficult to do effectively on slow-bouncing clay. However, on hard surface and grass his cannon of an arm allowed him to hit second-serve aces with amazing regularity. The rivalry between these two was the first premeir rivalry of the Grand Slam Era.

And anyone thinking that these are the only great matchups or players, or that I've had to reach back to the 70's for examples, is sorely mistaken. Tennis has never been devoid of great champions.

-Gustavo Kuerten, who dominated the clay courts in the earlier part of this decade similar to the way Nadal now does.

-The early career of Vitas Gerulaitis, who never reached his full potential but could cover the court like no other.
-Ivan Lendl, the most perfectly-conditioned player ever to roam the baseline.
-Richard Kreijeck winning the '96 Wimbledon title with his arm held on by duct tape.
-Goran Ivanisevic winning Wimbledon in '01 as a freakin' wild card.
-People sometimes forget, but Lleyton Hewitt was supposed to be the next unstoppable champion around 2001-02, until he lost his mind on the court (but found it off the court, when he ditched ugly-ass Kim Clijsters).
-A fella named Arthur Ashe.
-Boris Becker, who won six Grand Slams and was the youngest-ever Wimbledon champ at age 17!
-Mats Wilander, another '80s powerhouse with 7 Slam Titles to his name.
-Jim Courier and Jimmy Connors, two of the most colorful and successful American men ever to play the sport.

While I could type till my fingers fall off about epic matches, I've already mentioned a few (Borg/McEnroe at '81 Wimbledon, Sampras/Agassi at '01 US Open, etc.), I will give you two of my all time favorites that everyone who calls himself a tennis fan must see:
-Andy Roddick v. Younes El Aynaoui at the 2003 Aussie Open (Roddick wins 5th set 21-19, no typo)
-Jimmy Connors v. Aaron Krickstein at the 1991 U.S. Open. Connors, at the ripe age of 39, came back from two sets down against the much younger Krickstein to win. Some of the insults he screams at the chair umpire would make McEnroe blush.

So for everyone so eager to get swept up by the Nadal bandwagon, first rub your ass because you probably just fell off of Federer's, then realize you are not seeing the greatest players ever. Someone has to win these tournaments, and these guys just happen to be the best players around right now. There are always two finalists and there is always a winner. And there always will be.

In the Midst of Greatness

2008-07-06T21:23:00.002-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, ESPN sportswriter Bill Simmons wrote a piece basically saying that the sport of tennis is dead (http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3446552). He argued that the sport is no longer fun to watch, that there are no players who can compete with the greats of yesterday and that the rules and scoring of the sport were beyond arcane. To him, it is more exciting to watch an episode of "A shot at love with Tila Tequila (who is ugly as shit btw)" than it is to watch a tennis match.

Well as a fan of tennis and a witness to today's men's final at Wimbledon, I can happily say that Bill Simmons is a complete idiot.

I've seen a lot of great sports moments in my life time. I remember Tiger's first win at the Masters, all the great Michael Jordan moments, Michael Johnson at the 1996 Olympics and last year's Super Bowl. I can now add today's match between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal to the list. What I saw was two of the greatest tennis players of all time playing an epic 5 set match to the best of their abilities. There was action, there was drama, there was everything you could ever ask for in a sporting event. At times it seemed as if both players were so evenly matched that the match would continue on forever. There were no breaks of serve for over 40 games of tennis despite outrageous shotmaking from both players. Even when Roger Federer faced break and match points, he somehow found a way to continue on and force a final 5th set. And as the light faded at Wimbledon and Nadal finally broke Federer's serve and held on for the win, I knew I had witnessed greatness. In the awards ceremony, it was obvious how physically and emotionally spent both competitors were from the match. It was completely inarguable that both men had given all they could to try and win the match.

As the hours have passed since Nadal finally won the match, I've been thinking about how much tennis has going for it, and how stupid America is for ignoring such an exciting sport. Just in the past 2 days we've seen Americans Venus and Serena Williams vie for the women's title, and then today we saw possibly the greatest player of all time defeated by possibly the greatest clay court player of all time on his best surface. We've seen other incredible matches this year already, including Lleyton Hewitt against Marcos Baghdatis that lasted until 5am in the morning in Australia. The quality of play has also risen to a height not seen in a long time. For many years, losers who could simply serve hard had the rule of the game, which eliminated rallies from the game and basically made it a contest to see who could serve it hardest. Now we have players with vastly different styles in Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal forging the greatest rivalry in the sport since McEnroe and Borg in the 80's. There are also many great young players coming into the game, such as Novak Djokovic and Gael Monfils, who have the talent to challenge the top two titans of men's tennis.

Women's tennis has also become much more exciting in recent years. We have amazing competitors in Venus and Serena Williams, brilliant young players rising through the ranks, and wide-open grand slam fields that promise tons of excitement and unpredictability at every tournament. It also doesn't hurt that so many of the women's tennis players are banging hot. I personally think Maria Sharapova isn't all that and a bag of chips, but i'm not booing those legs at all. As my boy El Drunko used to say, "She could wrap those things around me twice." Other babes in the women's ranks include Nicole Vaidisova, Maria Kirilenko, Elena Vesnina and Ashley Harkleroad, who is gonna get naked in Playboy next month which makes her even more awesome. So even if you think women's tennis blows, you should still watch just for aesthetic quality alone. First of all, if you turn off hot babes playing sports that is wild homo. And at GDB, we are No Homo. Tennis also has no fat chicks.

At the completion of the match, we could hear John McEnroe exalting Nadal and Federer for their performances as well as basically pleading with America to pay more attention to such an exciting sports. Unfortunately, a lot of America has some sport of phobia towards more international sports. We shun soccer despite its worldwide popularity and excitement (See Euro 2008), and we shun tennis because it is somehow boring and predictable and is being dominated by Non-Americans. Well if today's match was boring and predictable, then sign me up for that. And if people are scared to root for foreign athletes then its time to grow the fuck up and realize that the sporting universe does not revolve around America. I feel bad for Joe Sports Fan who decided to watch a meaningless July baseball game, or a golf tournament without Tiger Woods and missed today's classic battle. For everyone who missed today's match because they feel tennis is past its prime, you took a biiiiiiiiig L today.

And Bill Simmons. If you can still say tennis is boring and antiquated after today's events, then you need to hang up your title as a sports guy, because you obviously missed the entire point of competition and sport when it being explained to you. But since you were probably busy jerking off instead to busted Asian whores on "A Shot at Love" anyway, we should probably take your opinion with guarded caution as it is.

Best Tennis Commercial Ever

2008-07-03T02:39:00.001-04:00

In honor of Roger Federer's rampage to another Wimbeldon Title (a victory would make it 6 in a row) here's a commercial that will make even the biggest Tennis haters excited for some hard core volleying. It's Federer vs. Murray from Flight of the Conchords (A must see). Enjoy!!!!

Truth Hurts...But Honesty Is The Best Policy

2008-07-02T20:36:00.002-04:00

MLB Power Poll

2008-07-02T12:32:00.005-04:00

Interleague play was just what the doctor ordered. I felt that this year's matchups were the best as a whole in several seasons. One thing that I find interesting is that from a fantasy and All-star perspective, the NL dominates. Clearly, the premier players in the game right now are located in the Senior Circuit. However, you've gotta believe that the team to beat in the All-star game is the AL. They completely dominated in interleague play and top to bottom the league is much stronger overall. This is especially apparent in this week's Power Poll.

1.) Tampa Bay Rays (51-32)- A new number 1 graces our presence. They are the 5th individual team to take over the Numba One Spot since the start of the poll and the third different club in three weeks to be on top. In one of the most hyped series of the year, the Rays have dominated the Red Sox in 2 straight to take a 2.5 game lead in the AL East. It's going to be a fight between Scott Kazmir (7-3, 2.23 ERA, 72 K's in 11 starts this year) and the ace of the next team for the AL Starting Pitcher in the All-Star game in my opinion.

2.) LA Angels (50-34)- This is probably the most balanced team in baseball at this point. They've got depth like nobody's business, especially in the Rotation and the Outfield. That's why I think the Angels are poised to make a deep run in the playoffs because they won't get tired in a 7 game series. This could be the best rotation in baseball right now, with three possible 20 game winners on the roster (Swervin Ervin Santana and Joe Saunders already have a combined 20 between them) led by the always swole John Lackey, the league leader in ERA at 1.44 and sporting a 6-1 record on the season. I didn't even mention young Jered Weaver who took that bizzare L against the Dodgers last week even though he no-hit them.

3.) Chicago White Sox (48-35)- This marks the peak for the Chi Sox and the first time they've ever been above their cross-town rivals. Well this was a long time coming, especially after they just swept the Cubbies this weekend and are now on a 6 game winning streak. The White Sox are the anti-Cubs. They don't have the big names, but they squeeze every ounce of talent out of their players. For as insane as Ozzy Guillen can be sometimes, he's a genius manager and really knows how to motivate his players. Unfortuantely, he can't let his team slack at all as the Twins and Tigers are going to make things interesting all year long.

4.) Chicago Cubs (50-34)- That last statement wasn't meant to be too much of a jab on the Cubs. They aren't wasting their talent by any means, but they are paying a lot more for their players and therefore are expected to always perform well. The good news for the North-siders is that they're about to welcome back arguably their two biggest names. Carlos Zambrano is expected to come off the DL to take the hill in a huge series against the Cardinals on Friday and Alfonso Soriano shouldn't be out too much longer after that. Regardless, the Cubs should be able to breath a litte as they've got three series against pathetic teams over the next two weeks (Reds and Giants).

5.) Boston Red Sox (50-36)- Boston is on a 4 game losing streak, but all of those losses have been close. 3 were by just one run and they are playing the raging Rays so they can't be too dissapointed with themselves. On the other hand, Tampa is starting to create a little distance and this should be a minor concern. I think Boston will be alright in the end, but they don't want to get too complacent. They've gotta be thankful for the resurgent JD Drew who has staved off injury to become the biggest producer in the majors over the last month (12 HR, 27 RBI since the beggining of June).

6.) Minnesota Twins (47-38)- The Twins have been the hottest team in baseball for about 2 weeks now and don't show any signs of letting up. Just when it looked like the Tigers were back on track, the Twinkies pounded them two days in a row. It's really kind of a mystery how this team has plowed their way into the playoff hunt. They lost their best two players (Johan Santana and Torii Hunter) and yet are stronger than ever. Their pitching really isn't that impressive and they've been doing it without Francisco Liriano. Unfortunately for Minnesota they haven't been able to gain any ground on the White Sox who refuse to lose. Something has to give eventually.

7.) St. Louis Cardinals (48-37)- The Cards finally got revenge on the Royals by taking two of three from them last week to polish off their interleague play schedule. They should be happy to be back playing in the Senior Circuit because they didn't really perform up to snuff against the AL (7-8). After they're done with the Mets in a couple days, their biggest rivalry heats up again against the Cubs. This time, they're in the Lou looking to chip away more at the 2.5game divisional defecit.

8.) Milwaukee Brewers (45-38)- The Brew Crew represents the final NL team this week. There's only three and they're all from the Central. The East and West have both been pathetic so I can't justify giving any of those teams a spot. Milwaukee isn't playing inspired baseball right now and need to step it up if they want to stay in the highly competitive divisional race. They were hotter than any other team in the NL a week ago, but haven't taken advantage of other team's follies. With the talent on that team, there's no excuse for them not to contend till the end.

9.) Oakland Athletics (45-38)- The A's have been holding steady playing .500 ball over their last 10, yet they're still somehow just 4.5 back of the Angels. With the second lowest payroll in the game, it's a wonder that they're in the position they are right now. A lot of the success can be attributed to Rich Harden who's finally been able to keep it together and stay healthy for basically the whole year. He has yet to lose (5-0) and sports a 2.25 era. He's still behind his teammate Justin Duchscherer (1.91), but he's pitching as well as anyone in baseball right now.

10.) New York Yankees (44-40)- The Yanks were on a strong run for awhile, but this week they've taken a step backward. They've lost 3 in a row and scored just 4 runs during that span against sub-par pitching tossed out by the Rangers and Mets. It's terrible timing too as they've got a ridiculously hard divisional schedule coming up over the next week at Yankee Stadium against the Rays and Red Sox. Will they survive and drop further behind the leaders in the AL East?

Also Receiving Votes: Philadelphia Phillies, Texas Rangers, Detroit Tigers, Florida Marlins

The Dwight Knight

2008-07-02T02:24:00.001-04:00

I couldn't resist putting this video on. It combines two of my current favorites. The Office is one of the most hilarious and innovative shows on television, while the Dark Knight is definitely my most anticipated summer blockbuster in quite a while. Put the two together, and you get pure genius. Bottom line: Don't fuck with Dwight.

R.I.P. UGA VI - by Dr. Burns

2008-06-30T22:41:00.002-04:00

On Saturday Young Swole and I bid farewell to Uga VI, the University of Georgia's English bulldog mascot, who died of heart failure at his home in Savannah. Let us all take a minute to pay our respects and look back on the career of this damn fine dawg:
- In 2007, Uga VI became the winningest mascot in UGA school history with a record of 87-27. The mark surpassed that of Uga IV, who ended his career with a record of 77-24-4.
- During Uga VI's reign, the Dawgs captured the 2002 and 2005 SEC championships.
- Georgia has been to a bowl game each of Uga VI's eight seasons as mascot, and won six of the bowl games in that span.
- Both a local and national celebrity, Uga VI was featured in Sports Illustrated, a 2001 Emmy-winning episode of Turner South's Liars and Legends, has been a part of a college football segment on NBC Nightly News, and was the special guest at a reception for the Georgia Congressmen in Washington D.C. in 2002.

Uga VI will be buried in a marble vault in the southwest corner of Sanford Stadium with his ancestors this week. His owner said Saturday that the dynasty's "lineage is secure" and a successor will be announced soon. In the meantime, let all the Bulldawg faithful rally behind the men who wear the red and black with two words--two simple words that express the sentiments of the entire Bulldawg Nation--GO DAWGS!

Barack Obama... Just Another Chump

2008-06-28T16:40:00.002-04:00

Swole was chilling at the Taco Stand last night before going to the America Party at JR's Bait Shack. Between watching ex-Tiger Jair Jurrjens throw a three hitter against the Jays and drowning brew after delicious brew, I caught a MSNBC feed which showed Barack Obama campaigning together with Hillary Clinton. Things are cool between them now, Hillary saying Obama is amazing and the greatest politician ever, Obama saying Hillary is an incredible woman and is very thankful for her support of him. There's even rumors that Obama may ask Hillary to be his Vice President, creating a "dream team" Democratic ticket for this fall's election.

Now wait a damn second.

Am I the only one who sees this as one of the most hypocritical political actions in recent memory?? I thought that Obama was all about "change" and now he's uniting with the old guard that he so successfully ran against. Are Obama supporters so nieve and blind that they can't see through this? Basically the only reason we even know who Barack Obama is today is that he fought against a political aristocracy that has been running this country for nearly two decades and which had disenfranchised millions of Americans with their greed, corruption and failure. He has become one of the most popular American politics thanks to a manufactured impression that he actually cares for the people who are going to vote for him and because he's not going to play into all the bullshit that Washington DC craps out.

Like many Americans disgusted with our political situation, I drank the Kool-Aid. Obama seemed believable and trustworthy moreso than Hillary Clinton or John McCain, and with his campaign for "change" so relentlessly conveyed to our nation it actually seemed that maybe in fact this was the brash new candidate that we needed to finally push the Bush and Clinton cartel out of our lives for good. Obama maintained his mantra and convictions in the midst of all sort of attacks from all sides such as the Jeremiah Wright fiasco, campaign financing and questions of leadership experience. When he finally received the democratic nomination for president it seemed like there had been a sea change in American politics. Our country had spoken and it had said that we demanded a candidate who would not repeat all the garbage of the last 20 years, but instead would bring a new vision to our presidency that was sorely lacking.

So now I look on the news and see this same Barack Obama, the man all about change and the new way of doing politics, teaming up with Hillary Clinton and basically making his whole campaign platform obsolete. If he had been true to his word, Obama wouldn't have needed Hillary's supports to aid in his campaign. If he had really believed in the message he has been delivering since the Iowa Primary, then it would have given him the faith that the American public would make him our next president despite earning the votes of the sore losers that didn't get their way when Hillary lost to him. Instead of being what he said he was, a candidate of change, Obama has finally shown his true colors. He really is nothing more than a new pretty face that did a great job of convincing American voters to support a candidate that will do the same things that has been done in the past, and has made so many in our country hate the political industry. Every Obama supporter got a slap in the face from a man they believed in because he really is no different than every grimeball politician that he seemed to try and be distant from. Barack Obama is nothing more than a hapless man that will abuse the American public and political process to ensure success and to continue a status quo in our government that has made our country fall far behind the rest of the world.

I should have realized it was too good to be true when i heard Obama speaking about all the changes he was going to make. I should have known that once Hillary finally lost that the two would probably unite in one form of another. I guess I made the mistake of trusting a politician, which is about as useful as trusting a used-car salesman. And maybe I feel like the idiot now for actually having hope in someone to emerge from the broken system that has become American politics, but i will tell you what. When Obama gets elected president, and becomes nothing more than the same politician that all his supporters had grown to hate so much, I'll be the one who will be there laughing at you for not realizing all this shit had happened right before your eyes and that you were too stupid to think Barack Obama was anything more than a hustler of your idealism.

Wimbledon 2008: What to Watch For

2008-06-28T12:39:00.004-04:00

Wimbledon has been underway for nearly a week now and the Sweet 16 has almost been set. So far we've seen a number of big-time early upsets on both sides. Australian Open winner Novak Djokovic (3) and 5th Seeded Spaniard David Ferrer took L's over the past couple of days and Americans James Blake (9) and Andy Roddick (6) were both second round victims. The US men can't be taken seriously anymore as legit threats in majors as they both seem to bow out quickly and quietly almost everytime. The Women's half has seen more big names fall earlier than expected. Top Seeded Ana Ivanovic and 3rd seeded Maria Sharapova both failed to reach the fourth round thereby eliminating a large chunk of the male audience. This doesn't mean that there's nothing to watch. Far from it. Whereas the French Open didn't live up to the high ratings that world tennis officials hoped for after a highly entertaining Aussie Open, Wimbledon still has many lines to draw in the casual tennis fan.

Men's Bracket

-World #1 Roger Federer aims for his 6th straight Wimbledon singles title. That mark would help him pass Bjorn Borg's streak of All England Lawn Championships. His next matchup won't be easy though as he's got a date with the feisty Aussie Lleyton Hewitt (20). He's bound to bring his intimidating body-building sister with him for moral support.

-Last year's runner-up and 2008 French Open Champ Raffy Nadal (2) is looking to win his first Wimbledon title, but it will be a very difficult task as he will likely have all ranked opponents from here on out. His possible next round opponent Mikhail Youzhny (17) is definitely a sleeper to come out of this semi.

-Young Swole's boy Marcos Baghdatis from the land of Cyprus is the 10th ranked player in the world and he typically balls it up on grass. As the highest seeded player in his quadrant, he's got a great shot to make it to the final 4.

-The last Semi is extremely difficult to predict as most of the top-seeds have already taken a fall. I think the winner between Roddick raider Janko Tipsaravic (the Serbian had an epic match with Federer at the 08 Aussie Open) and German Juggernaut and Blake beater Rainier "Wolfcastle" Schuettler will be the man that emerges from this quad.

Women's Bracket

-On top of being smokin' hot, 18th ranked Nicole Vaidisova is also extremely frisky on the tennis court. The Russian will matchup with fellow countrywoman and equally bangin' Anna Chakvetadze (8). With Ivanovic out, it's one of these ladies to lose in this semi.

-#6 Serena Williams has to be the favorite in the second quadrant. She's always a monster in England and she has yet to drop a set yet this year.

-The Russians are well represented in the Sweet 16 and Elena Dementieva may be the best of the bunch. The 5th seeded woman in the world hasn't exactly blown away the competition at Wimbledon, but her quadrant isn't really the most challenging.

-The bottom semi is arguably the most intriguing. Two big names are on a crash course for a quarterfinal throwdown. #2 Jelena Jankovic may be a butterface, but her game is no joke. She's got one of the most aggressive serves in all of tennis and looks like the heavyweight right now. She's gotta deal with the beast known as Venus Williams (7) though and it won't be a cake walk by any means. Venus has won 4 Wimbledons and is the current defending champ. This could be the match of the tournament if it pans out.

Swole and I will try to keep everyone posted as the Bracket continues to evolve.

Stephen A. Smith Heckled in the 2008 NBA Draft

2008-06-27T21:30:00.001-04:00

This video is the only recap you need of the 2008 NBA Draft. Wait till Kevin Love comes on and you'll understand the cheez doodle joke.

A Very Important Health-Related Article Every Woman Should Read

2008-06-27T17:16:00.002-04:00

It can be found here: http://www.murdzplace.com/CNN.htm

But because of it's vital significance and importance, I will reproduce it fully:

Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women

Thursday, October 2, 2003 Posted: 9:19 AM EDT (1319 GMT)

(AP) -- Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found.

Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two.

In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurance of breast cancer than those who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not regularly perform.

"I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a healthy act," said Dr. A.J. Kramer of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. "I am surprised by these findings, but am also excited that the researchers may have discovered a relatively easy way to lower the occurance of breast cancer in women."

The University researchers stressed that, though breast cancer is relatively uncommon, any steps taken to reduce the risk would be a wise decision.

"Only with regular occurance will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."

The study is reported in Friday's Journal of Medical Research.

In 1991, 43,582 women died of breast cancer, as reported by the National Cancer Institute.

Dr. Len Lictepeen, deputy chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society, said women should not overlook or "play down" these findings.

"This will hopefully change women's practice and patterns, resulting in a severe drop in the future number of cases," Lictepeen said.

Sooner said the research shows no increase in the risk of breast cancer in those who are, for whatever reason, not able to fellate regularly.

"There's definitely fertile ground for more research. Many have stepped forward to volunteer for related research now in the planning stages," he said.

Almost every woman is, at some point, going to perform the act of fellatio, but it is the frequency at which this event occurs that makes the difference, say researchers. Also key seems to be the protein and enzyme count in the semen, but researchers are again waiting for more test data.

The reasearch consisted of two groups, 6,246 women ages 25 to 45 who had performed fellatio and swallowed on a regular basis over the past five to ten years, and 9,728 women who had not or did not swallow. The group of women who had performed and swallowed had a breast cancer rate of 1.9 percent and the group who had not had a breast cancer rate of 10.4 percent.

"The findings do suggest that there are other causes for breast cancer besides the absence of regular fellatio," Shafteer said. "It's a cause, not THE cause."

MLB Power Poll

2008-06-26T17:27:00.003-04:00

Lotttttta action this week. After a stagnant Power Poll in the last edition, there were plenty of movers and shakers thit time around, especially in the bottom of half of the poll. While the top 3 look have been safe lately, there are a few teams in the middle that are making some real noise in hopes of knocking the big dogs off of their perches. Keep an eye out over the next couple of weeks because there could be trouble brewing for baseball's elite.

1.) LA Angels (48-31)- The Angels finally take over the top spot to become the fourth team to hold the distinction in the poll. There's very little separation between the top 3 clubs, but the Halos get the edge by virtue of their superior play over the past week. They swept the suddenly chilly Phils and won their most recent series against the Nats. Next up is the battle of LA as the Angels visit the Dodgers.

2.) Boston Red Sox (49-32)- Boston was looking very shaky up until Monday. Since the beginning of the week, they've won 3 of 4. Dice K is back, but he looked miserable in his last start lasting 1 IP and giving up 7 runs. Ouch. He'll look to rebound against Houston tommorow. The Red Sox still hold the best record at home in all of baseball, but they won't be seeing Fenway for a longggg time. They embark on their longest road stretch so far this year as they play their next 10 games away from Boston.

3.) Chicago Cubs (49-30)- The Cubs were dangerously close to losing their top spot last week after getting swept by the Rays last week, but they followed that with a sweep of their own over their cross-town rivals, so I thought maybe they'd righted the ship. Now they've lost 2 of 3 to the pathetically mediocre Orioles. I can't in good standing keep them on top any longer. The NL is clearly the weaker league right now and therefore the North siders take a tumble.

4.) Tampa Bay Rays (47-31)- The Rays have stormed back into the spotlight with wins in 7 of their last 9 games including two sweeps. Tampa's offense really sparked this week against Florida scoring 27 runs in three games. Today they also received a beautiful performance from Matt Garza who has finally started to pan out for Tampa. He tossed a one hit gem to shut down the Marlins. Get ready for a heavy weight matchup in the Sunshine state early next week as Boston comes to Tampa for a 3game set.

5.) St. Louis Cardinals (45-35)- Back to the NL where the Red Birds represent the number 2 team from the senior circuit. St. Louis has actually been outplayed by Milwaukee over the past couple of weeks, but with the much welcome return of Albert Pujols (4 for 4 against the Tigers today), the Cards can't be denied the 5 hole. They'll have to bring the heat in their next series against KC. The Royals swept them last week.

6.) Milwaukee Brewers (43-35)- That's right, the top 3 teams in the National League are all represented by NL Central teams. It shouldn't really surprise anyone as the division is the best and most competitive in all of baseball. The hottest team in the league has to be the Brew Crew, who have only dropped two contests in their last 10 games. Milwaukee's pitching staff looked pretty bleak after Yovanni Gallardo was lost for the year with a leg injury, but Manny Parra has stepped up to pitch respectably and Ben Sheets continues to dazzle the competition and the roster actually looks like it can hang with the Brewers high-octane offense.

7.) New York Yankees (42-36)- The Central is clearly a cut above the other divisions in the NL, but in the AL it's all about the East. Did you notice that the only team not from these two divisions in the top 7 is the Angels. Interesting. The Yankees are playing inspired ball lately, but they can't really gain any ground on the rest of the division because of how well the Red Sox and Rays are playing. They should be able to find some extra motivation over the next week as two of their series are against their two biggest rivals (Mets and Bo Sox).

8.) Minnesota Twins (43-36)- The only team hotter than the Brewers are the Twins. They've won 9 in a row and are right on the heels of Chicago for the AL Central lead. It appeared that the White Sox would never be toppled from atop their mountain, but things have changed with the sudden power surge in Minnesota. They've scored 57 runs during their win streak. The M brothers have been outstanding lately with Joe Mauer looking for a batting crown and Justin Morneau trying to top the league in RBI.

9.) Chicago White Sox (43-35)- The Chi Sox were able to squeak out a win today to hold their razor thin division lead over Minny. That lead could be non-existant next week because they've got a date with the Cubbies starting tommorrow. The one thing going for the White Sox is that they're home for their next 10 contests where they're 24-11 on the season.

10.) Philadelphia Phillies (43-36)- The Philles are very very lucky to hang onto the last spot in this poll. They've looked like absolute garbage lately (2-8 in their last 10). Sure they lead the NL East, but that's the same as the D-backs topping the NL West. Both divisions blow. It's kind of ridiculous. Most people thought that the East would be the dominant division not only in the NL, but possibly all of baseball. Instead the Mets and Braves have greatly underachieved and the Phillies are looking more like pretenders instead of contenders.

Also Receiving Votes: Oakland A's, Florida Marlins, Arizona Diamondbacks, Texas Rangers

The NFL - Where Crime Happens

2008-06-26T11:58:00.004-04:00

When I was a kid I lived in a very small town. We had a weekly newspaper that kept up with the goings-on in the town and one of the best parts was the police blotter that was included. Usually there were only about 4 items a week, but I always hoped some huge crime had happened or someone I knew had gotten arrested so that things would get exciting around our parts. Well as I'm realizing over the past few months, if our little town back in Connecticut can have a weekly police blotter for such things as speeding tickets and petty theft, than the NFL should too for all the arrests that occur on a nearly daily basis.

Brandon Marshall, a wide reciever for the Denver Broncos, was arrested for the third time this year yesterday for hitting his girlfriend. In other news, grass is green (except in Athens, go drought!!). Last week another wide reciever, Javon Walker, had his ass whooped in Vegas after apparently spraying a crowd with champagne. Cedric Benson has been arrested twice for DUI charges. Jevon Kearse got a DUI arrest last week. The list of players goes on and on. I'm even going to argue that this current NFL is the most crime-infested league in the history of American sports, and yet somehow the league is as teflon as ever. Television ratings continue to be high and the popularity of the sport is easily number 1 even if every team seems to have multiple players arrested during a typical offseason.

While the crimes committed by players in the NFL players are both terrible and embarrasing, they are not even considered to be a 'thug' league by society in general. Actually, college football is thought to be much more crime-ridden than the pro's even though that assumption is absolutely false. While players do get arrested on college teams, it should be considered that college teams have many more players therefore making crime more likely simply by sheer number. Secondly, it should be remembered that college players are, surprise suprise, college age. I know for a fact that I did some stupid shit in college that probably could have been arrested for, and I bet you every journalist or TV commentator that rags on thuggish college kids could say the same. The thing about NFL players is that they are grown ass men. I'm almost 25 now and i've cut out a lot of the stupid things in my life, why shouldn't NFL players be able to?

Another league that is commonly referred to as a "thug league" is the NBA. If you never actually watched a game, you'd think that every player in the league is a rapper wannabe who spends times with hoodlums and smokes weed. In reality, the NBA is filled with great people, black and white mind you, who have done a lot to clean up the image of the league while being highly active in charity and outreach events. Two examples of this include the league-wide effort to rebuild New Orleans during the All-Star weekend, and Stephon Marbury creating his own basketball shoe to be sold for 15$ so inner city kids could affort them. And yet these two events are spun in a way by our society so that potential crime at all-star weekend is a bigger story, and that Marbury is a selfish punk who only cares about himself, despite the fact that he's created his affordable shoe line and has donated over a million dollars to New York Public Schools.

As is usually the case, there are a lot of people to blame for this situation. Here's who should be taken to task, and what they are doing wrong:

1. The entire NFL. Its bad enough for the players and coaches in the NFL to do so many stupid things to get arrested, but its even worse for such a popular and succesful league to let this culture of violence be allowed to exist. Sure Roger Goodell played to the PR set pretty well by crucifying Michael Vick, and I guess he's done a fair job of suspending players with a criminal history, but its still pretty obvious that his own players don't fear his suspension policy. Its not stopping these guys from driving drunk, beating up their wives, being involved in drugs and possibly committing murders, so obviously something else has to be done. First of all, Goodell should make it clear that NO crime can be permitted, and if you do something stupid you are out of the league for good. If I got arrested, my employer would fire me tomorrow and it would be extremely hard for me ever to get a decent job again. So tell me why an NFL player should be any different, because he can catch a ball? Or because he's fat? The league should make it known that if you want to do stupid stuff, you don't belong. I really doubt Chicago would miss Cedric Benson, or the Broncos would miss Brandon Marshall in the long run.

2. TV Media. Not only does the media have a very visible love affair with the NFL, but it also has a pretty obvious bias towards the NBA and other sports. When a football player gets arrested, it usually draws a few murmors from the sports stations and a blurb on the bottom line of those news channels, but rarely is the story more deeply covered unless a station is forced to. This is because many major networks are in bed with the NFL and it would be bad business for them to draw a negative light towards the sport that pays the most bills. You think ESPN is going to hype up NFL crime the same way it does other sports, when it relies of Monday Night Football for so much revenue. And do you think GE, which owns NBC, is going to dedicate time to its networks to criticize the NFL when its trying to entice casual viewers to watch its Sunday Night Football telecasts? On the opposite end of the spectrum, any little news that comes out of the NBA is made into a huge deal. Carmelo Anthony has pretty much been vilified for a DUI arrest, which while stupid and dangerous is no different than what happens in other sports constantly. Shaq's apparent freestyle about Kobe is not just a story about two spoiled men with immense ego's, yet has to be something more about the thug rapper culture that permeates in the NBA. And events such as fights between teams like the Nuggets and Knicks are blown out of proportion to be an indictment of the entire league and its African-American players despite the fact that the same sort of event is glorified in sports like baseball and hockey, and worshiped as competitive fire in the NFL. With a double standard so evident in coverage, it's pretty obvious that public perception is trying to force people to like one sport more than another. Its pretty dumb for people to believe this crap, but I guess I wouldn't have a third group to blame if they didn't.

3. Our stupid society. While this last point could go on forever, I'll try to sum up this point in how it relates to this specific topic by saying that its time for people to try to form their own opinions and understandings based on their own experiences than by assuming that what someone else says is true. If I had a friend tell me that the Waffle House was the greatest resturant in the world and I believed him at face value, my own opinion on Waffle House would be invalidated because I never experienced their food enough to agree or disagree with his claim. Only by going to Waffle House and realizing that it is in fact the shittiest resturant in the world do I have the requisite evidence to not only question my friend's opinion but to support my own opinion. In the same way, we live in a society in which we are told what to think by others, instead of being encouraged to form our own individual opinions. And if what we are told plays into our pre-conceived notions of black men and their pursuits in life, than all the more better. 99% percent of casual American sports fans think Allen Iverson is a complete thug riding around smoking weed and slapping bitches, yet none of them have actually met him and gotten to know who he truly is. Iverson may in fact be exactly that, but it is unfair and wrong to assume anything about someone you really have no idea about. Yet because America seems to still fear black people so much, they eat up the idea that players in the NBA are threats to them, and that white NFL superstars like Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are better people who we can feel safe in giving our adoration to, even though we know just as much about their true character as we do about Carmelo Anthony or Ron Artest. Racism is old, outdated and completely uneccesary, and it makes me embarrased that the majority of our society still uses it to form narrow-minded opinions of people and cultures they are simply too lazy and ignorant to try and better understand.

Tonight is the NBA Draft. One of the top prospects, Michael Beasley, is reported to be dropping because of "character issues". Among these character issues are that he is immature, and that he may not be totally dedicated to basketball. The evidence used to support this claim is that he carried around 4 cell phones in college, pulled a prank on a teacher once and attended 6 different high schools. What is failed to be mentioned is that Beasley is only 19 years old and that as a college superstar in a small town in Kansas, he was probably the center of attention anywhere he went. And I'd be willing to guess that there were other important factors playing into him moving around so much in high school than simply that he was immature. All of these indictments against Beasley not only further drive pre-conceived notions of NBA players and the sport in general, but also plants the seeds for opinion to be formed on Beasley based on racial stereotypes before the kid (19 is still a kid folks) has even bounced a basketball in the pro's once. So now if Beasley fails to win 10 NBA Titles or become the next Tim Duncan, its because he's lazy and immature instead of being that is simply not good enough to be what people expected him to be. I guess people can be critical of Beasley to a point, and the NBA isn't exactly the most wholesome organization of the face of the planet, but its situations like these that sum of the point i'm trying to make perfectly. In the NFL you can literally get away with murder, in the NBA you can't have more than one cell phone. Hopefully people will turn down Bill O'Reilly, Nancy Grace or the talking heads on ESPN long enough to realize the existence of this dichotomy, but then again this is America, where double-standards are about as common as high gas prices.

Strange But (Un)True

2008-06-26T00:17:00.002-04:00

Orlando Hudson Just Striking Out To Crack Up Teammates

PHOENIX—Arizona Diamondbacks second baseman Orlando Hudson has been intentionally striking out in an effort to make his teammates laugh, team sources told reporters. Hudson, who struck out in every plate appearance Tuesday against the Oakland A's, was overheard saying "Check this out" to teammates Justin Upton and Chris Young before intentionally taking a third strike during his first at-bat; swinging wildly high and wide at a pitch thrown low and inside; swinging several seconds after the ball had been caught by the catcher for a third strikeout; and during his fourth appearance at the plate, dropping his bat and starting to remove his batting gloves before the pitcher had even thrown the baseball. Upon walking back to the dugout, Hudson reportedly pretended to be disappointed with his performance by yelling, "Jeez, I just don't know what's wrong with me lately," causing his teammates further amusement. Following the game, Diamondbacks manager Bob Melvin told Hudson that he could see what Hudson was doing and that he had better cut it out.

(The following is from www.theonion.com and is, unfortunately, not true. But damn, wouldn't it be funny if it was?)

They're Twins!!

2008-06-24T19:48:00.002-04:00

Separated at birth? Perhaps...

Dan Haren Rob Danger

UGA Keeps on Winning

2008-06-24T14:56:00.005-04:00

With the Georgia Bulldogs one win away from winning the NCAA Baseball Title, it dawned on me whole impressive a year its been for Georgia athletics in general. National titles won, outrageous comeback strories and incredible individual play has made Georgia the premier athletic school in the nation. And with our 28th national title a scant 9 innings away, I decided to recap the year that has been in UGA Sports.

Football:

This is the sport Georgia has always been known for, and in 2007-08 the Dawgs once again did not dissapoint. Even with a team that started only 4 seniors, The Dawgs finished with a 12-2 record and as one of the hottest teams in the nation. Georgia has been the winningest program in the SEC since Mark Richt arrived and quite possibly will have their best team next season since Herschel Walker was running wild between the hedges. A top-3 preseason ranking is a virtual guarantee, and with Heisman candidates like Knowshon Moreno and Matt Stafford combining with a deep and maturing defense, greatness appears to be right around the corner.

Basketball:

While our men's hoops teams seemed to be a dissapointment for much of the season, their run through the SEC tournament and into the NCAA Tournament made this year one of the most exciting in Georgia history. The Dawgs overcame suspensions and dismissals before the season began, season-ending injuries during the season, and acts of god during the SEC Tournament, and yet still became the greatest story of the NCAA tournament. The Lady Dawgs meanwhile, also reached the NCAA Tournament and continue to be a perennial contender in both the SEC and the entire nation.

Gymnastics:

Another year, another national title for the Gym Dawgs, who have now won 4 straight. This gives the program 8 national titles in its history, putting them in the same rarified air of such college dynasties like UCLA Basketball, Syracuse Lacrosse and UC-Berkeley Rugby. This year's team also had the highest collective GPA in the history of program, which shows they not only kick ass in gymnastics but are smart as shit too. Plus they are hot.

Tennis:

For the second year in a row, Georgia men's tennis won the national title, defeating Texas 4-2. This gives the program 6 overall national titles, and Georgia became the first back to back champion since Stanford in 1997-98. Georgia had 2 NCAA All-Americans and 4 All-Tournament players among those who earned yet another title for the program with the most all time titles of any school in the nation.

Baseball:

Tonight the baseball team will go for Georgia's third national title of this year. The Bulldogs won the SEC regular season title and won their regional before defeating the #1 seed Miami in the College World Series. The Dawgs are yet to drop a game in the College World Series overall, and have won three games with miraculous late inning comebacks. They are led by Golden Spikes finalist Gordon Beckham, who was drafted 8th overall by the Chicago White Sox, and relief pitcher Josh Fields, who was drafted 20th overall by the Seattle Mariners. The Dawgs are coached by Dave Perno, who was a player on the 1990 National Championship team as well.

As you can see, success is what we do down here at UGA. If its not winning national titles, then its having one of the illest music scenes in the nation. And not only does our school feature several geniuses in such graduate programs as Geography, Law, and Infectious Diseases, but UGA is also home to the greatest and deepest collection of gorgeous girls of any school in the nation. Any way you look at it, UGA is simply the greatest.

Italy - Spain Quarterfinal Preview

2008-06-22T13:06:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was yet another shocking encounter at Euro 2008 as the young Russians knocked off the Netherlands in an epic match. The world was introduced to Andrei Arshavin, who reminded me of a Russian Messi, and it seems as if a golden generation of Russian soccer is about to emerge. Onto today, in which the final quarterfinal features two of the blue-blood soccer nations in all the world, Italy and Spain. Losing is not an option for these squads, yet one will go home from the tournament dissapointed and forgotten. Lets take a look to see how the squads match up.

How they got here: Spain has looked like one of the dominating squads of the tournament, running roughshod through Group D thanks to superb technical play and the superhuman abilities of David Villa. There has been little controversy in the Spanish camp, and they are entering the knockout stages as perhaps the most confident team in the entire tournament. On the other hand, the Italian journey to this point was much more interesting, as I guess we should have expected. First they were demolished by the Netherlands, then they barely managed a tie against Romania and finally beat a woeful France side. But they have made it to this point, and you can never dismiss Italy in any circumstance at the knockout stages.

Possible Starting 11's:

Italy

G - Gianluigi Buffon

D - Gianluca Zambrotta

D - Giorgio Chiellini

D - Christian Panucci

D - Fabio Grosso

M - Daniele De Rossi

M - Massimo Ambrosini

M - Mauro Camoranesi

M - Simone Perrotta

F - Antonio Cassano

F - Luca Toni

Spain

G - Iker Casillas

D - Sergio Ramos

D - Carlos Marchena

D - Carles Puyol

D - Joan Capdevila

M - Marcos Senna

M - Andres Iniesta

M - David Silva

M - Xavi

F - Fernando Torres

F - David Villa

Tactics Board:

In previous years, this would seem like a perfect opportunity for Italy to play their notorious "Catenaccio" defensive style, but the circumstances are setting up that said option may be impossible to employ. Between suspension and injury, Italy will be missing four regular starters, and the resulting substitutes are simply not good enough to hold off such a lethal attacking force that Spain has. We have already seen unexpected weakness in the Italian defense this tournament, and they may now be facing the best offense they have seen all tournament long. Italy's biggest advantage is probably in that their two wide defensive backs, Zambrotta and Grosso, are both excellent at going forward and supporting the offense. Spain, meanwhile, will try once again to control the ball and create chances through their midfielders. Their defense has been suspect at times as well, but they do have the height and strength to match up well with Italian striker Luca Toni.

3 Important Subplots to watch:

1. Can Italy hold their own in the midfield? With both Gennaro Gattuso and Pirlo out suspended today, the Italians are going to have to start some players they generally wouldn't. The big problem is that the Spanish midfielders are so technically strong and gifted that they could easily control the game and open up the Italian defense for Villa and Torres if the Italian midfield can't keep them under wraps. All of this means that the most important player on the field for Italy today will be Daniele De Rossi. He will have to be a bull in midfield and not let Xavi and Silva to have free reign to spread the ball around. De Rossi had a very good game against France and seems to be emerging as the next great Italian midfielder, but today he will have to play the game of his life if Italy wants to emerge victorious.

2. Which wingback will have a bigger impact on the game, for better or worse? Both of these teams feature fullbacks who love to run forward and join the offense. Italy's tournament was transformed when they inserted Grosso into the lineup thanks to all the chances he has created, and today he will be even more important in the offense because of the players out in the midfield. Gianluca Zambrotta also loves to move forward on the right, yet has been prone to disastrous mistakes. Similarly for Spain, Sergio Ramos is always moving forward, yet has made some awful decisions in defense. Quite simply put, mistakes by any of these three players could prove deadly because the strikers for both squads are too good to be given extra chances. Will this fear of a great mistake reign in the defensive backs or will they still throw caution to the wind and move forward?

3. Is Spain mentally ready to move forward in this tournament? So many times in the past, Spain has had a supremely talented team that goes home much earlier than what you would expect. Either through bogus referee calls like against Korea in WC 2002 or from shit-the-bed performances, Spain has earned the reputation of a mentally fragile squad who sooner or later will crash and burn in major tournaments. Today would seem a perfect chance to exorcise these demons with them facing a depleted Italian team while being themselves probably the most gifted team remaining in the field. We'll probably be able to tell in the opening minutes which Spain has shown up. Is it the squad that is all too familiar of their past and expects the inevitable failure to happen, or is it the Spain that realizes just how damn good they are and that Italy really doesn't even belong as the same field of them?

Prediction

Every group winner has already been eliminated in the knockout stages, which does not bode well for Spain. And despite all the warning signs regarding Spain's history, I have the feeling that this is the squad that actually comes through on all the promise that is inherent within the team. Spain is never going to face a weaker Italy, and is never going to have better plays to attack these weaknesses then they will have today. I was dead wrong yesterday with the Netherlands within the first 15 minutes when it was obvious that the Russian speed and tenacity would not let the Dutch get into their customary rhythm, but Italy is an older team with visible deficiencies in its midfield which should allow Spain to play the game that they are so good at. And with the form that David Villa is in at the moment, I don't see how Spain does not exploit a mistake-prone Italian back four. I'm going to go against the country of my heritage, but I honestly can't see a way they can win this game if Spain plays how they have been, and how they should continue to. Spain wins decisively 2-0, setting themselves up a rematch with the diabolically emergent Russians.

*The above picture was included for my mom, who requested it be a part of the preview.

No Homo

Netherlands - Russia Quarterfinal Preview

2008-06-21T12:01:00.004-04:00

After yet another unbelievable finish yesterday, we now know 2 of the 4 teams that will play in the semifinals. And now we turn to the better half of the draw, home to 2 of the most exciting teams in the world, the defending world cup champions and a young team not afraid to get swole on unsuspecting squads. Today matches The Netherlands against Russia in a game that just may be the best of the entire tournament. Time to take a look GDB style at a possible classic encounter.

How they got here:

Not only have the Dutch gone unbeaten in the toughest group in the tournament, they also looked the best in doing so. They are the best counter-attacking team I have ever seen and are playing with a cohesiveness and unity that has long been foreign to Dutch national teams. Watching them play has been a revelation, because with a combination of unmatched technical prowess and freedom to attack at all times from their coach they have been transformed from an afterthought into an attacking juggernaut. Now they go up against a Russia team that nobody really knows too well, but seems to be growing up at the perfect time. I didn't get to watch them dismantle Sweden 2-0, but all reports said that Russia looked like a team ready to join the elite of European squads.

Possible Starting 11's:

Netherlands

G - Edwin Van Der Sar

D - Khalid Bouhlarouz

D - Andre Ooijer
D - Tom Mathijsen
D - Gio Van Bronckhorst
M - Orlando Engelaar

M - Nigel De Jong

M - Rafael Van Der Vaart

M - Wesley Sneijder

F - Ruud Van Nistelrooy

F - Robin Van Persie

Russia

G - Igor Afinkeev

D - Sergei Ifnasevich

D - Aleksander Aniukov

D - Denis Kolodin

M- Konstantin Zurianov

M- Igor Semshov

M- Sergei Semak

M- Diniyar Bilyletdinov

M - Yuri Zhirkov

F - Andre Arshavin

F - Roman Pavluchenko

Tactics Board:

What makes this possibly such an exciting game is that both teams play the same way. We all know that the Netherlands are going to play the game at a rapid tempo thanks to quick passing and excellent movement. Well guess what, Russia are going to try and play just as fast. Their coach, Guus Hiddink, is already on record of saying Russia is not going to back down from the Dutch and will attack right back at them. And it goes without saying that Hiddink will know a thing or two about Holland because it is his nationality and because he has coached the Dutch style for decades. All this boils up to a rapidly-paced game with chances galore for both teams. If the Netherlands gets ahead early in this one, they will once again employ their counterattack to great success. Don't forget that Spain (maybe the only squad with the technical prowess of the Dutch left in the field) already put up a 4 spot on the Russian defense, so things could get ugly quick. But Russia has two really good strikers up front and will get chances against a Holland defense that while having been good so far, will be prone to giving up chances.

3 Interesting questions to ponder:

Can the Netherlands possibly keep up this level of play? The Oranje played so amazingly well in the group stages that it would be heartbreaking for them to desintegrate back into what they appeared to be before the tournament started. Considering their opponent today and the way the game is going to played, I don't see them backing off the gas pedal at all. Furthermore, many of their starters got to rest in the Romania game and should be fresh for this crucial quarterfinal. I see no way the Dutch don't score at least 2 goals today.

What effect does Guus Hiddink have for the Russian team? This is kinda like one of those games where the old coach got fired from one team and now has a chance to get back at them for a different team. Hiddink knows all about Van Basten's coaching style and all of the players for the Dutch so nothing will be new to him. The question is can he somehow make his Russian players as comfortable with the opposition as he will be? This is still a very young team and they have nowhere near the experience that Holland has in games of this magnitude. Either they will carry the momentum from last game or be blown away by the Clockwork Oranje.

Will there be any defense played today? I'm hoping the answer is a definitive no, which will make goalkeeping a huge part of today's game. We've all heard of Edwin Van Der Sar and know what he can do. Most people don't know that Russian keeper Igor Afinkeev has been goalie for the national team since he was 18 and is one of the best young keepers in the world. We just never hear about him because he plays in the Russian League instead of the EPL or La Liga. Today will be a crucible for young Afinkeev because of the opposition. He is going to have to make incredible saves to keep the Russkies in the game, which he is definitely capable of. But if he does not have a good game and makes mistakes, Russia simply has no chance to win.

Prediction

In a lot of previous tournaments, the Dutch have looked awesome in the early stages of the tournament and then been bounced out prematurely once the knockout stages begin. There was the loss to Italy at home in Euro 2000, an epic loss to the Czech in Euro 2004 and a terrible loss to Portugal in the last world cup. Today they got lucky in that they are playing an upstart team that will cater to the Dutch style and play a game they'll be comfortable in. This will allow the Dutch players to play the free-flowing game that they have been so successful at so far in this tournament. And while i think today Russia will capitalize on some mistakes in the Netherlands defense, that offense is simply too spectacular right now to be held down by a young and unproven Russian defense. I expect a total shootout at the OK Corral today, with the Oranje advancing to the semifinals to take on the winner of Italy and Spain courtesy of a 4-2 victory over the precocious neophytes of Russia.

Bruce Weber is a B.A.N.

2008-06-20T14:30:00.005-04:00

Here's a direct quote from former Purdue assistant and current Illinois coach Bruce Weber when asked about the Big 10 Basketball race this year.

"The league should be wide open and we can be right in the middle of it. I do know one thing, though. I think Indiana will suck. Don't put that on the Internet."

Oh really Bruce? You honestly thought this wouldn't make it on the internet. There are numerous things wrong with this quote. First of all, a coach shouldn't be making statements like this. I'd expect it from the president of the Illini Anime Club, but not from the coach of the basketball team. This is a classless quote that has no business being said by a man in this position. It just shows what a complete joke Weber is. You would never see Tom Crean or even the Kelvin "Text Me" Sampson stooping to this level.

Speaking of jokes, I think it's hilarious that he talked shit about IU basketball considering how pathetic the Illini were last year. It's no secret that Illinois was the most dissapointing team in the league last year. They tied for second to last in the Big 10 standings. U of I also got swept by IU and lost to the juggernaut known as Tennessee State. It's hard to imagine Illinois being worse than they were last year, but anything's possible. The bottom line is, you don't make statements like this after your team was the Big 10 whipping boys last year. I'd be shocked to see the Illini make the tournament, let alone compete for the Big 10 title.

MLB Power Poll

2008-06-20T13:00:00.004-04:00

We're smack dab in the middle of interleague play. It's been lopsided at best so far as 9 teams earned sweeps in the last round. Hopefully the next set will be closer. Today begins the fourth of the six series that take place each year. It's also includes arguably the best batch of matchups of any set. The top 3 in my opinion are: Cubs/White Sox, Angels/Philles, and Red Sox/Cardinals. It wouldn't be a stretch to think that any of these matchups could be possible World Series previews. I'm going to start shortening the analysis in the team portion of the power poll because it not only takes me forever to do, but it is also probably not super interesting to read.

1.) Chicago Cubs (45-28)- The Cubbies narrowly hang on to the top spot, but their grasp is so shaky that it's possible for the next 5 teams on the list to pass them in the next poll. What happened? Well, the surging Tampa Bay Rays handed them a good ol' fashioned ass whoopin'. They got swept for the first time all year. In fact, they haven't been swept since May 2007 against the Marlins. They've got something to prove in the Windy City Series this weekend. They'd also better hope that Carlos Zambrano only misses one start.

2.) Boston Red Sox (46-29)- Boston is officially taking over the world. The Sox won the last world series, the Celtics just captured the NBA title, and if the Pats wouldn't have choked, the city would own all 3 major championships. Ugh. The Red Sox actually had a solid week going 5-2, but I still need to see how Dice-K looks in his debut tonight before I can vault them into the top spot. They were impressive again by taking 2 of 3 against the Phillies this week and they'll need to keep up the great play when they host the Cardinals this weekend. Should be a great series.

3.) Tampa Bay Rays (43-29)- The Rays are on a roll. Get them some butter. They only lost once since the last poll including a huge sweep over the #1 Cubbies. Tampa Bay gets to host their third straight series and this time it's against the biggest slumpers in the league, the Houston Astros (8 game losing streak), so they'd better get another sweep. They're gonna need it if they want to catch Boston who still holds a 1 1/2 game lead in the AL East. They also need to stave off the White-Hot Yankees who just can't lose. This divisional race should be ridiculously entertaining down the stretch.

4.) Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (43-30)- The Angels play their third NL East team in a row this week and it's going to be a stiff test against the Phillies. LA didn't fair so hot against the other two losing 2 of 3 agains the Braves and Mets. Considering New York just fired their manager (right in the middle of the series) and Atlanta can't win on the road (Worst Road record in baseball) this is not a good sign. They can't afford to play like that against Philadelphia who will be looking for blood this weekend. Shouldn't the Angels have more than a 3 1/2 game lead over Oakland right now?

5.) Chicago White Sox (41-31)- The White Sox didn't just sweep the Pirates, they made them walk the plank. Chicago scored an interleague sweep record 37 runs during the 3 game set led by the unstoppable Carlos Quentin. Young Knuckleballer officially endorses Quentin as an All-Star starter. Who needs the Windy City Series more? Sure the Cubs have the better record, but the White Sox have the bigger division lead at 4 1/2 games (tied for biggest gap in the majors).

6.) New York Yankees (40-33)- There's not a hotter team in baseball right now. The Yankees make their much awaited debut in the power poll courtesy of a 7 game winning streak (3 games longer than any other team in the game). They swept back-to-back series for the first time since early 2007. It's about time that the team with the highest payroll got the ball rolling. The bad news for the Yanks long-term prospects? Chien Ming Wang is out till at least September. The Good News? Joba Chamberlain looks like a certified stud after a striking out 9 in just over 5 innings yesterday.

7.) Philadelphia Phillies (42-32)- The Phillies are letting key opportunities dissippate. They had the Red Sox right where they wanted them this week and they let it slip away. They lost 2 of 3 there and the same margin occured in their previous two series against the Cardinals and Marlins. They can't afford to let the rest of the NL East stick around, because the other line-ups are just too talented. They hold just a 2 game lead over Florida despite being the highest scoring offense in baseball. Time for pitchers not named Cole Hamels to step up.

8.) St. Louis Cardinals (42-32)- The Cards picked a terrible time to lay an egg. They just got swept at home by the KC Royals!!!! C'mon now, this can't happen when you're chasing the Cubs and getting savagely pursued by the Brewers. Now the Red Birds have to go and play the two scariest offenses in the AL over the next week. They're on the road to take on the Red Sox and Tigers. How much are they missing Albert "Winnie the" Pujols now?

9.) Milwaukee Brewers (39-33)- The hottest team in the NL actually moves down a spot?! Yessir, it's not the Brewers fault that everybody above them is either winning or still holds a solid lead in the standings. They also got usurped by the even more fiery Yankees. The Cheeseheads can rest assured that if they continue this play, they will climb up the Power Poll. They're on a 4 game winning streak right now and much of that recent success can be attributed to Papa Prince Fielder. He's finally starting to swing a mean bat and show that the vegetarian thing hasn't caused his power to become extinct. He homered twice against the Brew Jays this week and one of those was his second career inside the park job of his career. If you haven't seen a clip of this you gotta check it out, it's hilarious.
Picture Bentley trying to run a mile.

10.) Arizona Diamondbacks (39-34)- Once again, the D-backs are here by process of elimination. There's a Michael Strahan Tooth gap between the D-backs and the Brewers though right now, so don't think I put them in the same boat. What's the deal with Brandon Webb. Remember a month ago when he was 9-0? Well he's 2-3 since then and he's looked pretty weak sauce in his last two starts especially against the A's on Wednesday where he gave up 7 runs in less than 4 IP (3rd shortest start of his career). He's also not striking guys out anymore (10 in his last 3 starts combined). Micah Owings has also come back to earth in a big way (0-3 in his last 4 starts). The once undisputed pitching champs in baseball are now looking like lightweights.

Also Receiving Votes: Florida Marlins, Oakland A's, Minnesota Twins

MLB All-Star Predictions

2008-06-20T12:08:00.002-04:00

Before I list my all star choices I want to make 2 quick points. First, fans are stupid. AL fans apparently think the only 2 teams that can be voted on are the Yankees and Red Sox (thanks ESPN), and NL fans are so dumb they are trying to put overrated jap Kosuke Fukudome and geriatric dinosaur Ken Griffey Jr. into their lineup. Its about time we stop fan voting, because its making all baseball fans look like total idiots. The second point is that the NL is absolutely loaded with talent while the AL has gotten old really fast. Only a few years ago everyone was saying how the AL was so much better, but one look at these rosters and you can see that the balance of power has definitely shifted to the Senior Circuit. With that said, lets take a look at how the all-star rosters should look, if retards weren't allowed to vote that is.

AMERICAN LEAGUE STARTERS

C - Joe Mauer, Minnesota Twins (.335, 2hr, 28 rbi)

1b - Justin Morneau, Minnesota Twins (.306, 11 hr, 56 rbi)

2b - Ian Kinsler, Texas Rangers (.308, 10 hr, 42rbi, 18sb)

3b - Alex Rodriguez, NY Yankees (.335, 14hr, 41rbi, 8sb)

SS - Michael Young, Texas Rangers (.281, 52r, 6hr, 36rbi)

OF - Josh Hamilton, Texas Rangers (.321, 19hr, 74rbi)

OF - Manny Ramirez, Boston Red Sox (.295, 15hr, 49rbi)

OF - Carlos Quentin, Chicago White Sox (.271, 17hr, 56rbi)

SP - Cliff Lee, Cleveland Indians (10-1, 76k, 2.55 ERA)

AMERICAN LEAGUE BENCH

C - AJ Pierzynski, Chicago White Sox (.308, 4hr, 26rbi)

1b - David Ortiz, Boston Red Sox (.252, 13hr, 53rbi)

2b - Brian Roberts, Baltimore Orioles (.284, 5hr, 29rbi, 20sb)

3b - Kevin Youkilis, Boston Red Sox (.305, 11hr, 44rbi)

SS - Orlando Cabrera, Chicago White Sox (.274, 6hr, 30rbi, 8sb)

OF - Milton Bradley, Texas Rangers (.330, 15hr, 48rbi)

OF - BJ Upton, Tampa Bay Rays (.291, 5hr, 39rbi, 22sb)

OF - Grady Sizemore, Cleveland Indians (.266, 17hr, 40rbi, 17sb)

B - JD Drew, Boston Red Sox (.327, 13hr, 43rbi)

SP - Roy Halladay, Toronto Blue Jays (8-6, 86k, 3.09 ERA)

SP - Shawn Marcum, Toronto Blue Jays (5-4, 86k, 2.65 ERA)

SP - Josh Beckett, Boston Red Sox (7-4, 89k, 3.87 ERA)
SP - Scott Kazmir, Tampa Bay Rays (6-2, 61k, 1.76 ERA)
SP - Joe Saunders, Anaheim Angels (10-3, 46k, 3.06 ERA)

CL - Francisco Rodriguez, Anaheim Angels (28sv, 2.25 ERA)

CL - Mariano Rivera, NY Yankees (20sv, 0.79 ERA)
CL - Jonathan Papelbon, Boston Red Sox (21sv, 1.95 ERA)

NATIONAL LEAGUE STARTERS

C - Brian McCann, Atlanta Braves (.305, 13hr, 42 rbi

1b - Adrian Gonzalez, San Diego Padres (.293, 20hr, 63rbi)

2b - Chase Utley, Philadelphia Phillies (.294, 22hr, 62rbi)

3b - Chipper Jones, Atlanta Braves (.394, 16hr, 45rbi)

SS - Hanley Ramirez, Florida Marlins (.294, 15hr, 17sb)

OF - Ryan Braun, Milwaukee Brewers (.288, 20hr, 55rbi)

OF - Lance Berkman, Houston Astros (.366, 20hr, 59rbi)

OF - Nate McLouth, Pittsburgh Pirates (.295, 15hr, 51rbi)

SP - Edinson Volquez, Cincinnati Reds (9-2, 105k, 1.64 ERA)

NATIONAL LEAGUE BENCH

C - Geovany Soto, Chicago Cubs (.282, 12hr, 43 rbi)

1b - Derrek Lee, Chicago Cubs (.289, 14hr, 44 rbi)

2b - Dan Uggla, Florida Marlins (.288, 21hr, 52rbi)

3b - David Wright, NY Mets (.278, 12hr, 54 rbi)

SS - Jimmy Rollins, Philadelphia Phillies (.289, 6hr, 15sb)

OF - Ryan Ludwick, St. Louis Cardinals (.305, 16hr, 55rbi)

OF - Carlos Lee, Houston Astros (.268, 15hr, 53 rbi)

OF - Jason Bay, Pittsburgh Pirates (.287, 14hr, 37rbi)

B - Albert Pujols, St. Louis Cardinals (.347, 16hr, 42rbi)

SP - Tim Lincecum, San Francisco Giants (8-1, 95k, 2.21 ERA)

SP - Cole Hamels, Philadelphia Phillies (7-4, 91k, 3.23 ERA)

SP - Brandon Webb, Arizona Diamondbacks (11-3, 82k, 3.27 ERA)

SP - Ryan Dempster, Chicago Cubs (8-2, 81k, 2.76 ERA)
SP - Ben Sheets, Milwaukee Brewers (8-1, 77k, 2.84 ERA)
CL - Brad Lidge, Philadelphia Phillies (18sv, 0.90 ERA)

CL - Kerry Wood, Chicago Cubs (18sv, 2.45 ERA)

CL - Matt Capps, Pittsburgh Pirates (16sv, 2.88 ERA)

What is incredible with these rosters is how deep and talented the NL is. There's a good chance their second unit is better than the AL's starters, and some of the starting pitching I had to leave off the NL is just mind-boggling (Santana, Hudson, Zambrano, Oswalt, Haren). It was hard to find 2 good catchers and shortstops in the AL, while certain positions in the NL going 4 or 5 deep with worthy all-stars (1b, SS, 2b).

Quick thoughts on Turkey -vs- Croatia

2008-06-20T11:51:00.003-04:00

Its going to be tough to top yesterday's game, and quite honestly Young Swole doesn't have the knowledge of these squads to give a whole preview, but lets hit some quick talking points in regards to the 2nd quarterfinal of Euro 2008.

- Watch Croatia play, and you will see that they are a very technically sound team. They have a great familiarity among the starting 11 which means they are comfortable passing the ball as well as controlling the ball while in possession. This was one of the biggest keys to the German game, and we saw yesterday how the German pressure took Portugal off its game. With that being said, Croatia should be able to have possession for the majority of the game today which will lead to excellent scoring chances.

- Because Croatia move the ball so well, Turkey will have to be smart when challenging them. The Oily Turks have a tendency to get out of position and make ill-advised tackles against their opponents. This leads to a lot of fouls and cards. Combine this with the technical prowess of the Croats and the Turks will have to be very careful on their challenges as well as their defensive positioning.

- Turkey expended so much energy in their comeback over The Czech that its questionable they have anything emotionally for this game. To come back the way they did and the emotional release that comes with it will be hard to duplicate in this game. It will be up to midfielders like Altintop and Turan to ratchet up the tempo and keep Turkey in the game.

- As we saw in the Turkey comeback, their striker Nihat is pure class. He's shown why he scored 20 goals for Villareal with his clinical finishing last game. Think about how easy he made that look, and then think about how more well-known strikers like Thierry Henry and Luca Toni have blown almost every similar chance in their games. Because Turkey has Nihat, they will never be out of the game, they just need to find a way to get him the ball.

My prediction is going to be 2-1 Croatia. I feel they are just going to outclass the Oily ones and get a lot of scoring chances on a defense that was pretty raggedy even before head oil baron Servet was forced to sit out in today's game. We have also seen how much pride Turkey has, and I'm betting they'll score a late goal to try and make things close, but will not have enough left to try and make it three comebacks in a row.

Germany - Portugal Quarterfinal Preview

2008-06-19T11:49:00.004-04:00

The group stages are done at Euro 2008 and now it is time for the knockout rounds to begin. We can only hope that these games create the same excitement that the group stages did, and with the matchups that are set, I'd say there's a good possibility for more amazing soccer to be played. Today's game is a matchup between two titans of world soccer, Germany and Portugal. Both sides expect to win the whole tournament, but one is also guaranteed to go home much earlier than expected. Who is going to win this epic matchup? Lets break it down GDB style.

How they got here: Portugal were the winners of Group A, defeating Turkey and the Czech Republic. They lost to Switzerland in their last group game but got a chance to rest all of their major players, which means they should be fresh going into today's game. Their path to success was forged from a dominating midfield and solid defense. They have been a creative squad who have played attractive soccer while at the same time not making any major mistakes on defense. It is safe to say they have the momentum going into this game. Germany on the other hand have stumbled into the knockout round. They only finished second in their group, and have not looked anything like the squad that was termed the favorites to win the tournament. While Podolski has scored 3 goals already, other attacking players like Klose, Gomez and Ballack have been mostly dormant. Their defense has also not been what we would expect from a German side, making uncharacteristic mistakes to inferior competition. They also have major injury concerns with Torsten Frings and Podolski both questionable for today's game.

Possible Starting 11's:

Portugal (4-5-1 Formation)

G - Ricardo

D - Bosingwa

D - Ricardo Carvalho

D - Pepe

D - Paulo Ferreira

M - Joao Moutinho

M - Petit

M - Deco

M - Cristiano Ronaldo

M - Simao

F - Nuno Gomes

Germany (4-4-2 Formation)

G - Jens Lehmann

D - Marcell Jansen

D - Per Mertesacker

D - Cristoph Metzelder
D - Phillip Lahm

M - Torsten Frings

M - Clemens Fritz

M - Lukas Podolski

M - Michael Ballack

F - Miroslav Klose

F - Kevin Kuranyi

(If Frings can't play, he will probably be replaced with Hitzelsperger or Borowski. If Podolski can't play look for Schweinsteiger or Odonkor to fill his place.)

3 Keys for Portugal:

1. Win the midfield. This seems simple enough for a team with so much midfield talent, but today they will go up against the most physical and imposing group they have seen so far. All of Portugal's midfielders players are smallish, and could be knocked off their game by the bigger Germans. Petit is going to be the man who has to keep wraps on Ballack, and if he can slow the German captain down then it will greatly help the Portuguese defenders behind him deal with the German forwards. The other midfielders will have to create the right pace of play for Portugal and create the scoring chances because Nuno Gomes simply does not do enough up front to provide a threat to Germany. It will be imperative for Deco to create chances for Simao and Cristiano Ronaldo if Portugal is to score today.

2. Win the air battle. Germany is known for its heading prowess in the box, and frankly they are due for some goals of this variety. Therefore central defenders Pepe and Carvalho are going to have to be spot-on in their marking and not allow German aerial threats Klose, Ballack and Metzelder to get free in the box. Both central defenders are of a high quality and should do a solid job marking the German attacking players, but it only takes one mistake on a set piece to let all that work go to waste.

3. Be a hero Cristiano Ronaldo. Despite the urging of ESPN commentators everywhere, Ronaldo has yet to be the world's best player at this tournament. He did score an important goal against the Czech, but for long period's of time during each game he has vanished. This is a little shocking because he seems so much more aggressive when playing for Manchester United, yet so far for Portugal he has almost seemed passive in his approach. Its games like today however that cement your status of one of the world's greatest, and Cristiano will have to be the superstar everyone wants him to be for Portugal to advance. He honestly doesn't have to score to be a factor, he just has to be the man that is always a threat to score, which will open up the German defense for the rest of his teammates. Maybe if Cristiano puts up an epic performance i'll drink the Kool-Aid, but to be real with you I'm still waiting to see something more from him.

3 Keys for Germany:

1. Get production from the forwards. Its quite shocking how quiet Miroslav Klose has been so far this tournament. Every major competition i've ever seen he's always looked like the best striker in the world, and yet so far in Euro 2008 he's been about as effective as Eddie Johnson is for America. It doesn't really help that his strike partner Mario Gomez has looked completely unprepared for the occasion. I know he's young, but for someone with so much hype coming in, I expected much more. Today Germany cannot afford another no show from its striking pair. I'm already predicting Gomez to be replaced with the more experienced Kuranyi, and Klose and whoever plays beside him may have to make up for the lost production of Podolski if he somehow doesn't play today.

2. Get mean. I used to always hate German teams because they always seemed like the biggest group of assholes in world soccer. Players like Jens Jeremies and Cristian Ziege were not afraid to get yellow cards and intimidate the hell out of their opponents. Now it seems like Ze Germans have gone a little soft. Players are dying their hair blond, bitching about refs constantly and letting opponents waltz into scoring areas without punishment. One thing is for sure, they better not let Portugal do that or they will get toasted by the superb Portuguese midfielders. This is why its so important to set a physical tone to the game. Take a slide at Cristiano's ankles just to put it in his mind that he's not going to be able to run free all game. Knock Deco around every time he gets the ball so that he cannot freely distribute it around the park. And don't be afraid to throw some goddamn elbows around in the box. This is the evil Mannschaft we're talking about, not some fruitcake Scandinavian team for crying out loud.

3. Don't screw up Lehmann. I swear i cringe every time the German goalkeeper plays the ball, because you never know when you may see the dumbest soccer play in recorded history. He already gaffed once in the Croatia game leading to a goal, and any Arsenal fan can tell you he's about due for another embarrasing screw-up. At this stage of a major tournament against such a talented opponent, any mistake Lehmann will be fatal.

Prediction

Everybody is burying Germany after such an underwhelming group stage, but the important thing is that they advanced. Now they are only 2 games away from the final and we all know its going to be difficult to knock them out once and for all. For some reason I feel like the Germans, despite their awkward play so far, match up really well with Portugal. The Portuguese love to play a finesse game with free movement and i don't think Germany is going to let them have this. They have so much talent all over the park that it is about time they play an excellent game, and sometimes when your back is to the wall is when teams truly come together to become what we expected them to be all along. Portugal will get some chances simply because their midfield is so full of quality, but I feel they are going to be few and far between. I also think Klose is going to step up for the Germans today and have a huge game. Look for a really tight game at first, with the Germans slowly turning the screws against Portugal. I'm feeling a Klose strike early in the 2nd half to make it 1-0 and then Germany proceeds to turn out the lights on a Portugal side that simply will not be able to match up with the German's physicality. Germany wins 1-0.