The fall of FC Barcelona

Just about a half hour ago i saw Manchester United punch their ticket to the Champions League final by defeating Barcelona. What i also was was an end of an era for the most exciting club team in the world over the last half decade. While change is a constant in world soccer, the degree of change required in Catalonia over the summer will not only be undertaken on a grand scale, but completely needed.

Tuesday's game pretty much typified what Barcelona has become over the last year. There were the mind-boggling mistakes on defense that led to goals for the opposition. Despite having world-class defenders such as Gianluca Zambrotta, Carles Puyol and Eric Abidal, it never seems like they can play together and form a cohesive unit that is immune to the critical mistake. I also saw a great deal of possession, but most of it was without a clear direction. While midfield players like Deco and Xavi are excellent at moving the ball around, there just never seems to be the interplay between the forwards and the midfield that used to make the team so dangerous. Barca was at their best when Messi was running at defenders, yet i don't remember quality ball delivered to him from the midfield. Because of this, and despite of a ridiculous array of talented strikers, Barcelona could not score a single goal in their most important game of the season. I remember a few years ago when every moment seemed like a possible goal, yet now it was a struggle to even get a quality shot off at net. And while Manchester surely deserves credit for being a good defensive team, this has been happening for weeks and months to Barcelona which shows that it is a chronic symptom of their failures this season as opposed to a one-time deal.

We have seen eras come and go in club soccer over the last decade. The "Galacticos" of Real Madrid ended quickly when it was realized that none of them played defense. All of the Italian teams were decimated 2 years ago and are now slowly rebuilding. Barcelona has done this before too. They let superstars like Rivaldo and Patrick Kluivert leave the team and decided to rebuild around young talented players like Ronaldinho, Samuel Eto'o and Deco. Now the time has come for another re-start for the team. Here are the major players that should stay and who should go...

Ronaldinho - This man has been the face of international soccer and FC Barcelona for the last half-decade, but a myriad of events have made their parting inevitable. He doesn't work as hard as he used to, is injured more than he used to be, and is more of an egomaniac than ever before. No one is doubting that he still has skills, but he seems to be going the way of fellow countryman Ronaldo in that his best years are behind him even though he is still relatively young. Barca will try to get some good transfer money out of him with the 'Dinho probably moving on to Italy.

Thierry Henry - Sometimes great players going to great teams never quite works out. Whether it was because of Henry's ego getting in the way of things, or the Barcelona coaching staff not using him on the field properly, this has been a disaster from the get-go. Henry will definitely leave Camp Nou and will probably still be a quality player for another team, but Barca would be well advised to go with a younger, cheaper and less diva-like striker.

Deco - This guy has been one of the best offensive midfielders in the world for many years, but it seems as if his time has come as well. He can't control a game like he used to, and without Ronaldinho up front to link up with, he doesn't provide the service that the strikers up front need. Look for Deco to move to the EPL this summer, or wherever Jose Mourinho goes and coaches at next.

Gianluca Zambrotta - It could be claimed that Zambrotta was the best right fullback in the world after his performance at World Cup 2006. I thought this was an awesome move for Barcelona to pick him up, but it never quite worked out. Even in today's game he never seemed comfortable with his role in the team and with the other players surrounding him. Its evident that he tries really hard, but its sad that he never really worked out with the team. He'll probably move back to AC Milan or Juventus this summer, which will be much more comfortable for him.

With these 4 players gone, who will Barcelona look to rebuild the team with? Up front, they have 3 of the best young strikers in the game in Leo Messi, Bojan Krkic and Giovanni Dos Santos. They probably need a reliable veteran striker to team up with the 3 young kids, because its highly questionable that Eto'o will be back whether they want him to be or not. A possible pick-up could be Freddie Kanoute from FC Sevilla. In the midfield, the team will need a replacement for Deco who will be able to link up with the strikers, such as someone like a Diego on Werder Bremen, as well as a wide midfielder who can provide speed down the flanks like a Jesus Navas on FC Sevilla. Finally on defense, there has been much talk of the team acquiring Dani Alves, but i'm hoping that they go back to defenders who are much more reliable and less prone to costly mistakes similar to how Oleguer and Thuram have been over the years. With a more stable defense, the entire team will be more stable moving forward, which will allow a more consistent effort to be put forth every night.

As it seems, future Barcelona teams may not have as much flash as previous years have possessed. But while the team used to be highly successful, it is painfully evident that its time has come and gone. So while next year's version will not have a Ronaldinho, it will hopefully be much more consistent and successful. And plus with players like Leo Messi around, there will still be plenty of brilliance on display, lets just hope its not as few and far between as it seemed to be this year.

Party Like It's 1993

I had to laugh tonight when I checked baseball box scores and saw two very contrasting, and thought-provoking things that have been produced by this young season:

"The Giants demoted Zito to the bullpen on Monday, the Associated Press reports."






AND....








A Frank Thomas (Oak-DH) line that read:
3/3, 2 RBI, 1 BB...with a triple??





My how the mighty have fallen in San Francisco. They lose Barry "The Hulk" Bonds, who is was their primary, perhaps ONLY, source of: national interest, talent (other than Tim Lincecum), offensive production, merchandise revenue, and of course, controversy. But now they also have the distinction of giving a contract the size of Bonds's head to the newest member of their bullpen, Barry Zito. You know, I love this guy because he reminds me that the Cardinals didn't wind up with the worst member of Oakland's Big Three...At least Mark Mulder is recovering from surgeries and wasting a minimal amount of money, not to mention NOT costing the RedBirds games, rather than posting a 0-6 record in 6 starts with a 7.53 ERA.

Meanwhile, The Young Hurt-Master Frank Thomas is still raking, despite what the Toronto Blue Jays thought. Oakland wanted The Old Man of the AL to return, and his Gary Sheffield-esque temper tantrum got him cut like a fish from the helpless Jays. Speaking of the Jays, aren't they trailing the Rays in their division right now? Wow, Rays before Jays. Is this another case of Oakland/Billy Beane/Moneyball-thinking overcoming the traditional view of baseball personnel management?

I'm not going to offer any deeper analysis that this, other than that ultimately, the guy who stole the 2002 Cy Young Award from Pedro Martinez has been a downward spiral of ability and trust on the mound, while a dude who was repped by my buddy J-Blunt (the guy who tried to eat a ping pong ball during a beer pong game at the 06 Little 5) , back in 5th grade, will look great in comparison.

Jay Z disses Stevenson

Of all the worthy rappers who have dissed Jay Z in the past and HOV refused to respond (I'm thinking Killa Camron especially), why the fuck would he go after Deshawn Stevenson...a ballplayer? allhiphop.com posted this truly horrible freestyle by J where he big-ups Bron and, for some reason, Will Smith?

somebody needs to "blow the whistle" on this wack ass freestyle.

Weekend Recap

What an epic sports weekend we just experienced. This truly is the only one of the year in which all 4 sports are relevant, so lets look back and see what transpired.

NFL - The 2008 draft is complete, and the big story line is all the trades that took place. With 13 trades involving first round picks alone, this draft was one of the more topsy-turvy in many years. It sure does seem like teams like the Jags and Panthers overpayed to move up and grab Derrick Harvey and Jeff Otah, but the old adage is go and get who you want, instead of testing fate. The big winners of the draft seemed to be the Kansas City Chiefs, who acquired Glenn Dorsey and Branden Albert in the first round, and many more solid prospects in later rounds. Other teams that impressed me were Baltimore and the New York Giants. The best 2 picks I saw were Dorsey to the Chiefs and Sedrick Ellis to the Saints, who will make a huge difference on that team. Shout out to Georgia boys Marcus Howard, Thomas Brown, Brandon Coutu and Chester Adams for getting drafted.

NBA - While no series have been decided yet, the fishing boats in TNT headquarters are getting primed for many teams as we speak. In the East, Detroit won a critical game 4 over upstart Philly, while Cleveland and Orlando will both have close-out games on Tuesday. Out west, most of the championship contenders are taking care of business. The top 4 seeds are all one game away from the second round, and have shown no signs of letting their opponents back into the series. What this means is we're looking towards an epic 2nd round featuring matchups like Jazz-Lakers, Hornets-Spurs, Cavs-Celtics and Pistons-Magic.

NHL - We're down to the final 8 in hockey, and the way things are going it could be 4 really soon. Dallas and Detroit are handling their business out west, sweeping the first 2 games of their series. Pittsburgh is still undefeated in the entire playoffs and may bring the first title to the Steel City since Lemieux was tearing shit up. The Flyers-Canadiens series is 1-1, but with the way the Flyers are playing I see them winning this series. Its too bad I won't get to watch another game until Saturday, because nothing beats playoff hockey in terms of intensity and passion, but thats what you get when you have a fuck-up like Gary Bettman running your league.

MLB - It sure does feel as if 2008 may be remembered as a changing of the guard season in baseball. While veteran-laden teams like the Mets, Braves, Tigers and Yankees are all struggling out of the gate, younger teams like the D'Backs, Brewers and Rays are all building confidence and are showing signs of being in the race for the long haul. Props to the Angels for winning 4 of 6 against the Red Sox and Tigers on the road. When they get Lackey back they are going to be really tough to beat. Hopefully we'll get to see some of these younger squads play on TV this year, but since they are nowhere near Boston or New York i highly doubt that.

UEFA - The 2nd leg of the semifinals in the Champions League take place this week. First up is Barcelona - Man United. Thanks to Man U playing like pussies in leg one, things are still scoreless heading to Old Trafford. And while they have played great all year, it is a lot of pressure to put into one game, especially against a team with the weapons that Barca does. While the first game was pretty boring, this second should be anything but, because both teams will need goals and both teams have the talent in players like Messi and Eto'o on Barca and Cristiano Ronaldo and Carlitos Tevez on Man U to turn this into a shootout. Meanwhile Wednesday's game features Liverpool heading to Chelsea. Thanks to John Arne Riise's own goal in stoppage time, Chelsea are in great position to advance. They will also get back Mickael Essien from suspension which will make their defense even tougher. Its probably too much of a challenge for the 'Pool to get a goal, which means Chelsea should finally advance to a Champions League Final.

Nascar - Kyle Busch won at Talladega. No one really cares about Nascar, but Talladega deserves mentioning because it is without a doubt the most redneck crowd you will ever experience. The fans throw all their beer cans and bottles at every driver who wins except for Dale Earnhardt Jr., who hasn't won in years at the track. They also hate Jeff Gordon so much that more babies are conceived in the 15 minutes after he crashes then at any other point in the year. Nothing puts Alabamans in the baby-making mood like gasoline, crashes and Dick Trickle.

College Football - A few quick notes from the best sport in America. UCLA starting quarterback Patrick Cowan tore his ACL and will miss the entire 2008 season. This guy is great when he's healthy, ask USC if you don't believe me, but its too bad he's the Rocco Baldelli of college FB. UCLA will struggle to be a .500 team without him. Up in Big 10 country, the big news is that Michigan offensive linemen Justin Boren will transfer to Ohio State. I guess losing important games in the regular season wasn't enough for him, but instead he wanted the ultimate satisfaction of losing in championship games to superior SEC teams much more. Finally, the commisioners of all the Division-1 conferences are talking today about plans to add a "plus-one" championship game at the end of the season. I'm all for the idea, because it will maintain the importance of the regular season while bringing finality to the end of the season. Unfortunately the neanderthal commissioners of the Pac 10 and Big 10 will probably never agree to the proposal, but at least this will help increase the public outcry for a true championship at the end of the college season.

1st Annual Gimme Dat Brew Draft Blog (complete with thick sarcasm everywhere)...

Here we go friends, it’s NFL Draft day. Fortunately for all of you, I woke up extra early this morning to get all of my shit done so that I can sit here and break down the draft for everyone in the very first ever Gimme Dat Brew Live Draft Blog. And we’re off:

2:02 – We’re off to a racing start. With the first pick of the NFL Draft, the Dolphins select Jake Long. Oh wait, that was decided 4 days ago? Shit. Where was ESPN on that one (must have been a Red Sox-Yankees series this week).

2:11 – There is a rumor that the Rams would consider drafting Darren McFadden with the 2nd overall pick because Stephen Jackson’s contract is up next year. Ya, that’s a great strategy. So what you are saying is that resigning is impossible? Fortunately for Rams fans, the Rams listen to me and take Chris Long. This whole GM thing is easy.

2:15 – Not really sure what Keyshawn Johnson is wearing right now, nice shirt dildo. Oh, and I hate Chris Berman.

2:19 - So the Falcons decide that it is time to “turn over a new leaf” and get the new face of the franchise, so they draft Matt Ryan. For those keeping score at home, that is 3, count them T-H-R-E-E, white guys in a row to start the draft. When is the last time that has happened?

The biggest question now is whether to start this guy ASAP or let him sit on the bench and learn from a veteran QB. The only problem is, that vet on the Falcons is Joey Harrington. I would probably start him right away and change the locks on Harrington.

2:22 – I hate Chris Berman.

2:24 – These little promos that ESPN is running in between commercials is really pathetic. The draft is really not THAT cool.

2:25 – The Oakland Raiders are on the clock. I’m excited to see how they mess this up. (Pssst! TAKE DARREN MCFADDEN!!! You don’t have a 3rd or 4th round pick. Are you serious? Besides, there are no kickers that are really blowing me out of the water this year. Ya, here’s lookin at you Janakowski).

2:27 – Oh, did you hear that D-Fad’s mom doesn’t want him to go to either the West Coast or New York because he will be too far from home and those places are too big anyways. I would probably smack a bitch. And YES! The Raiders take him. His mom does not look happy right now. Wonder what the baby mamas are thinking (PAY-DAY!). Darren McFadden and JaMarcus Russell as the future battery of the Oakland Raiders. A little too much SEC for my taste, but definite potential.

2:31 – KC is on the clock. They pan to the “green room” to show Vernon Gholston and Glenn Dorsey talking. Why the fuck is it a “green room” when it is blue? This team is heading no where and fast, so they really need a good draft here to try to steer the team in at least some direction.

2:33 - Dorsey is now shown on the phone, smiling. And he is wearing a ridiculously obnoxious watch right now. Damn. LSU obviously pays very well. Looks like Dorsey is going next. Btw, did you know Larry Johnson had only 560 yards and 3 touchdowns last year? I did, because he was a waste of a first round pick.

2:35 – And Dorsey goes. I think that was a decent pick. There were no real standout OL that should have gone at this spot, and plus they have several more picks in the next few rounds. Dorsey will be a great anchor for that lackluster defense. Only downside is the possibly durability issue, but he played through the pain last year and they have all kinds of pain killers and drugs in the NFL (pan to clip of Varsity Blues and Paul Walker getting pricked in the ass, err, knee).

2:36 – J-E-T-S Jets! Jets! Jets! are on the clock. How can you not be excited about this??? Dorsey said that he is excited to be a Chief. Does he know the definition of an oxymoron?

2:40 – Jets fans are beyond obnoxious. I hope the Jets take a QB here just to make them all kill themselves. Jets movement in the offseason has been really underrated. They made some decent moves to start to rebuild that team. If I am picking with my brain then Vernon Gholston, but picking with my heart, its John Flacco.

2:42 – So Goodell said he may consider moving the location of the draft every year, therefore not having it in New York every year. I think I know why – Jets fans. I think they should have it at the team with the #1 pick every year. How great would it be to have been in Houston when they took Mario Williams and not Reggie Bush, just to see the reactions on Texans fans (even though that didn’t turn out so bad for everyone involved).

2:44 - Chris Mortenson has just explained to us that Gholston has a “great physique, when he takes off his shirt, he looks like Tarzan”. Jesus Christ, I really don’t give a shit. And what do you know, the Jets take Gholston. Great pick. I hope Gholston terrorizes Brady for years to come. And the green room is officially empty, so no Brady Quinn face.


I think Gholston will be a stud, Not only is he from the Big 10, but he has a really good and fitting name for a player you might fear.

2:48 – I still hate Chris Berman, although I think ESPN has taken note of this because they have been going more to Kirk Herbstreit then him. It’s like the lesser of the two evils: Hear Herbstreit cream over USC, or hear Berman in general. I’ll take the former.

2:49 – Satan is now on the clock. I definitely think the Pats will try to trade this pick in an attempt to reclaim that pick they lost because they are cheaters.

2:51 – Oh, I’m good. The Pats trade their pick with the Saints. Pats get the 1st and 3rd from the Saints and the Saints get the Pats 1st and 5th.

2:53 – The Saints take Sedrick Ellis. Good pick? Maybe. They definitely needed to address the defense, so this could prove to be a great pick. Either way, this pick will bring a player that can play really well on this team, or a player that won’t play very well (props to John Madden for the commentary).

2:54 – How can you not be jealous of Mel Kiper Jr. He might have the greatest job ever. He loves just about EVERY player in the first round – something that he will inevitably be wrong about because at least half the first round picks will be busts. He can say whatever he want and it is taken as fact and he is always considered a “genius”. Nobody faults him 5 years down the road and blames him for a player being a bust. Fuck that.

2:55 - Jacksonville with a trade now, moving from 26 to 8. Damn! This will be costly. I’m sure it’s for Derrick Harvey because they need a DE. I don’t really know that much about him, I need Young Swole here to convince me that because he is in the SEC he is a first ballot Hall of Famer.

2:56 - At this point, I don’t really give a shit about the rest of the draft. The Colts don’t have a first round pick and I got to see the top 5. Now all I want to do is think about where I am going to draft McFadden in my fantasy draft. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to wait to see how the Lions fuck things up.

3:00 – Awkward conversation between Mel Kiper and Chris Berman about the Ravens intention and whether they will be able to get the next good QB. Berman, you cannot argue with that hair. Thank God Mort finally interrupted. I wish they would all just all fall over dead.


On another note: ESPN has a lot of great talent (Tony Reali, Michael Smith, JA Adande, Mike Greenberg), but they totally under use these guys. How much longer will people really tolerate back- back- back- back- back- back- back- back-GONE! I stopped about 5 years ago.

3:01 – 2 for 2 in predictions, as Harvey goes to Jacksonville. Good thing I am listening to what Mel is saying. I kind of agree with him though, this may be a slight reach. He seems kinda fat. Peyton isn’t worried, so I am not worried. Go Colts!

3:03 – Well that didn’t take long. The “Bungals” got their #1 choice in Keith Riversm and it only took them about 2 minutes to decide. Damn, that sucks. Going from a Super Bowl contender in USC to a bottom dweller in Cincy. Wait, the Trojans aren’t in the NFL? Does it matter that they could probably win the NFC? No, ok, fine then.

3:07 – Cincinnati fans do not look pleased.

3:08 – The Ravens got the farm on that trade. A 1st, 2 3rds, and a 4th just so the Jags can move up. Worth it?

3:09 – ESPN has this feature called “Fan’s Grade” where they grade players vs. Mel Kiper. I think that fans have given an A to every player thus far, proving that the average fan knows everything.

3:09 – Pats are up again. I bet they trade again, because they are a bunch of back-stabbing, sneaky fucking bitches.

I hate them with a passion.

3:12 - So get this. Last year, Adrian Peterson, drafted 7th overall, made $17 million in guaranteed money. Meanwhile, 1st overall, JaMarcus made $32 million in guaranteed money. Hmmm. Let that stew in your brain for a little while.

3:14 – Actually, I bet the Pats take a QB. They need a QB! Please QB! QB! QB! Dammit! Jerod Mayo out of Tennessee, some linebacker, in an obvious attempt to get this team “young” again. I am on to you Belichick.

Whoooooo gives a shit. I am starting to like the Jets a little more now. They booed Goodell out of the house when he came up to talk about the Pats. I pledge an allegiance between Colts and Jets fans alike against the New England Patriots. Actually, anyone can join.

3:16 – Thank God Brett Favre retired. Otherwise I would hate Berman even more. Oh God. He just said the Pats will get flagged next year a lot for “Holding the Mayo”. Kill me now. Just note that I hate Chris Berman. I won’t even say it again, but I hate him with the fire of 1,000 suns.

“You’re with me, leather!”

3:17 – Up next is Buffalo. To be honest, if I were in the AFC East, I would start being worried about the Bills. I think this is one of the up and coming teams in the NFL. They might have found the QB of the future in Trent Edwards, have great weapons in Lee Evans and Marshawn Lynch, and that defense showed some potential last year. Still, they have got to shade up that defense here a little or go after another WR to help out Lee Evans. They just showed Devin Thomas get a cell phone call. STOP RUINING THIS ESPN!

3:18 – Bills go defensive and get Leodis McKelvin out of Troy. ESPN fooled me. Hmm. They definitely needed a CB and this guy has the instincts and speed to do it, but he’s only 5’10” and apparently he has bad hands. Oh well, if he had good hands, he would be a WR, hahaha, right Berman? No? Eh, go fuck yourself.

3:20 – I think Aqib Talib was a better choice, but apparently he has a little bit of character issues. So he smokes a little pot here and there. D-Fad has 2 kids, brothers in gangs, and fights at piano bars. And your biggest worry about this guy is that he will eat too many Doritos and maybe hyperextend his thumb playing Wii. Get real. If I were a GM, smoking a little sticky icky would not be considered a negative on character issues, but rather a positive as a definite good time in the off season.

NOTE: We do not condone smoking marijuana here at Gimme Dat Brew. Nope, never. No smoking pot.

3:23 – Our next OT is off the board, Ryan Clady, who looks like a bigger Laurence Maroney. So Cutler won’t get sacked 54 times next year. Maybe on 40! Why did they not go WR here? Who exactly is Cutler going to throw to? Didn’t they lose Javon Walker?

3:26 – Panthers time. I think they are set at QB. That Vinny Testeverde is the QB of the future. I have no idea what the Panthers are going to take. To be honest, they will probably take an OT or a QB. But it seems early to take a Joe Flacco or Chad Henne. Maybe a trade?

Here we go – Jonathan Stewart? Hmm, so they got rid of DeShaun Foster to get rid of the tandem, and they get Stewart to create a tandem. Probably a little early for Stewart, but only time will tell. This kind of hurts Lions fans (sorry Swole and Knuckler) as they were rumored to be in the running back market.

3:28 – It’s time for the Bears. I am actually kind of excited to see if I can hear people around me screaming in anguish or cheering in admiration. My prediction – Rashard Mendenhall and cheering in admiration (which makes me sick. Fuck the Bears).

3:32 – There is nothing like watching the draft in HD. It just makes things THAT much more tolerable.

3:34 – Come on Bears. It’s simple – QB or RB. Pick your poison. My guess is that if the Bears do take a RB, all this is going to do is inspire Benson to actually play like a 4th overall pick. Hmm, possible fantasy sleeper?

3:36 – Herbie makes an interesting point. Mendenhall hasn’t really had a lot of carries in college, so, in his opinion, he has all of his football ahead of him. Really? Wouldn’t you be a little concerned by this, that his talents area really small sample size and maybe he can’t handle the full season? Who knows. But here we go, the pick is… Chris Williams, OT from Vanderbilt. Hmmm. Probably not the pick everyone in the Second City wanted, but who likes them anyway? Maybe someone can write and sing a song for Bears fans?

3:37 – Oh god, the Lions are up! Hell yes! I’m gonna pour out a drink now for my compadres here at GDB a little early. Actually, pictures speak louder than words:


3:39 – Maybe if I start the chant, it’ll catch on. Mill-en! Mill-en! Mill-en! The “smart pick” is probably an OT or OG here. Or maybe Mendenhall. But there hasn’t been a WR drafted yet, so everyone is on pins and needles.

3:41 – God, good point by Steve Young. The Lions currently have the best QB in the NFC North in Jon Kitna. Are you serious? The NFC East has Romo, Manning, Campbell, and McNabb. And the North throws out Jon Kitna? Almost makes me miss Favre (by the way, Brett Favre watch has told me that we have no heard a single mention of him yet this draft).

3:43 – KC trades up for the pick from the Lions. Interesting. KC then takes Branden Albert, offensive guard out of Virginia. KC is quietly having a pretty good draft. They are really starting to reshape their team. This pick will really help Huard stay on his feet this year, as opposed to his back.

3:49 - Lions get 1st, 3rd and 5th for their 1st and 3rd just for dropping 2 spots. A GOOD move by Millen. Damn. How many GMs are actually making good moves this year? There really hasn’t been a single reach or bad selection thus far (*cough* Ted Ginn Jr. *cough*). God Bless Us All.

3:50 – So the Cardinals are up. I am amazed at how fast Edge James has completely fallen off the face of the league, When he was in Indy, he was a top 3 RB in the league. Now? He is referred to as an aging, but hard runner. Hahaha, you fuck. That’s what you get for leaving us. We’ll go polish our Super Bowl rings now.

3:52 – The pick is in. This team has so much talent, but is just so bad - how is this possible? My guess is RB, but they could easily keep the offensive linemen run going. And they choooooooooose: Dominic Rodgers-Cromartie. I have mixed feelings, but overall, I think this was a safe pick. He is like a Rudy pick since he is from a D2 school. He is my new favorite player in the NFC West.

In other news, I cannot believe how far Talib has fallen! All over a little green. He runs a 4.33 40 and was a 1st team all Big 12.

3:55 - Leos are up. I need to call Young Swole for this one. The Lions choose some fool from Boston College. He is a tackle, so I guess that is a positive. I have no idea what to think otherwise.

Here is what Young Swole thinks: “Well, I guess the intention is now to turn an OT to a WR, because we obviously need a WR with more size”. Well said Swole.

4:02 – MORE TRADING! Baltimore is getting a little antsy about whether they can get a good QB prospect late in the draft, so they trade up to with Houston to the 18th spot to get, what appears to be, Joe Flacco. Hmm. Sorry, but he has bust written all over him.

4:04 – What appears to be Joe Flacco’s girlfriend is madddd beat. I mean, you are a QB, I hope you aren’t hitting that. She will be gone in about 2 months, although I do not know the quality of pussy in Baltimore, but it has to be better than in Delaware.

4:05 – Ok, apparently Flacco throws the ball 74 yards. Well, John Elway once threw a NERF Vortex out of a stadium, so I am not impressed.


4:08 – Philly is up. They boo Santa, they cheer career ending injuries, the question of the draft is how they will react to this pick. It’s wide receiver or bust in my opinion.

4:10 – Another FUCKING TRADE! Carolina is moving up and apparently must be thinking QB or OL. This draft has been wild so far. Carolina moves up to take Jeff Otah out of Pitt – and Eagles fans still find it in their heart to boo. It seems that Carolina is setting up to run the football this year, which, of course, makes PERFECT sense considering that they only have some guy named Steve Smith.

4:13 – Tampa Bay is up and there WILL be a WR taken here. There has to be. There hasn’t been one yet and there are some quality guys on the board. (By the way, the fans gave that pick of Otah an F. Obviously, fans do not like OL picks and would prefer that football be played with 1-Mississippi 2-Mississippi 3-Mississippi).

4:18 – The haul for the Eagles was a 2nd, a 4th, and 1st rounder in 2009. Wow, great haul for the Iggles, risky choice for the Panthers. Who knows. The Colts did it last year to get Tony Ugoh early and it worked out for them (by the way, Keyshawn just used the word “small-ish”. What does that even mean?).

4:20 – The big elephant left in the draft room is if Indianapolis, the obvious favorite to win the Super Bowl for the next year 3 years, will trade into the first round. Ok, not really. And I’m done with talking about the Colts from here out. But there are only 11 picks left and I am bored. So Tampa takes Aqib Talib – ignoring need and going for talent. I think it is a fine pick, as it seems a lot of WRs are going to be available in the next round. He also did play some WR last year, so you never know. Too bad Dallas didn’t draft him – he could have hung out with Josh Howard.

4:26 – Redskins pick #21 – Sean Taylor wore #21. Fate? I predict Devin Thomas. He was projected in the top 20 and he is still available. Why not take a “gamble”?

4:28 – Speaking of gamble, for the Falcons anyways, Washington trades their pick to Atlanta. They have their QB of the “future” so what the hell are they going to reach for here – there isn’t anyone outstanding left on the board. They did lost Alge Crumpler, so maybe a TE? That would be a GREAT selection (insert thick sarcasm here). It will probably be a WR still, but why move up and do that when there will be plenty in the next few rounds.

4:30 – Anyways, the Falcons take Sam Baker, OT from USC. Kirk Herbstreit says “You can never go wrong with a Trojan”. Ok, he didn’t really say that (actually, that is just an important thing to keep in mind on the weekends). Good pick? I dunno. Safe pick? Ya, maybe, but you could have gotten him in the second round. So Atlanta has attempted to solidify its QB, RB, and OL this off season. Not bad.

4:33 – Time for Jerry Jones to make some noise. I am done predicting that a WR is going to come next. The Lions already made their selection.

4:39 – This crowd is HATING on Goodell every time he comes to the podium. Either that, or they hate every team picking. And with that, Dallas takes an Arkansas boy in Felix Jones. WHOOOOOOOO! Stop the presses. Did anyone see that coming? Damn. That was a sleeper pick there. Can we now move on? If Felix would have stuck around for like one more year, he would have probably gone 1st overall. Instead, he opts for the money now. At least he is on a good team.

4:41 – They just showed Mendenhall getting a phone call on his iPhone (greatest phone ever, by the way). He seems happy, but it is the Steelers with the next pick, so I can’t really see this happening here. I mean, seriously. They have different needs, like a WR to please Big Ben or some offensive line help.

4:43 – By the way, did you know that “The Draft Matters”??? In case you didn’t, ESPN is letting you know every 5-10 minutes. Of course the damn draft matters – otherwise, where the hell would all the players come from?

4:44 – AND THE STEELERS DO PICK MENDENHALL! That is definitely a steal, but was that really necessary? Maybe they are trying to go back to “the bus” and Fast Willie Parker tandem. You are telling me they didn’t have any other needs? I mean, seriously? But what do I care, let the AFC teams make themselves weaker.

4:45 – Mel Kiper has said about 10 times that he had Mendenhall as the 10th best player in this draft – so CLEARLY he should have gone 10th because Mel said so. He also said that Ryan Leaf would be the better QB than Peyton Manning and we all know very well how that worked out (by the way, there have been 9 trades in this first round; the record is 15. Let’s do this!)

4:47 – Tennessee is up and I GUARANTEE this will be a WR. This has to be, otherwise Vince Young is going to just absolutely flip out and go all Pacman Jones on their asses and demand a trade to anywhere else. The only question is which one.

4:48 – Keyshawn not afraid to self promote by stating that Tennessee has been looking around for weapons for a while: “That’s why they have been trying to get these weapons as of late. They tried to get me, they tried to get these weapons”. So what you are saying is that they tried to get… you. Oh, and of course “other”, unspecified weapons. The best part was Steve Young behind him with an overall look of shame.


4:50 – With the 24th pick in the NFL Draft, the Titans take Chris Johnson, RB out of East Carolina. EVERYONE is speechless. What the fuck are they thinking?! He did have the fastest 40 time in the combine, which is the be all end all of whether or not you will be the shit in the NFL. Awesome. There are a lot more RBs still available and I don’t know if this was a great pick. Thunder and Lightening again? But I still ask you: Who is VY going to throw to?

4:59 – Trade #10 here. Uhh, again, why? The Cowboys are up to something, but there is no one left on the board that really should blow anyone out of the water. I mean, they have to be thinking CB or WR. So it’s either who will be Pacman’s bitch or TO’s bitch. I bet it’s a corner, as Steve Young so eloquently put it “You cannot trust Pacman Jones”. Thanks Steve.

In a related note, I think the NFL Draft crew has completely broken the record for obvious statements in the first round of the NFL draft.

5:00 – The Cowboys take Mike Jenkins out of South Florida, a corner. That’s what I thought. A pretty good fit. And if Pacman does come back, they will have one of the better defensive backfields in the league.

5:03 – So now it’s the 26th pick and it’s Houston on the horn. This pick is being passed around more than… actually fuck it, just insert some slutty girl you know who gets passed around a lot, as this is the 3rd team to sit here thus far.

5:07 – The Texans take some fool named Duane Brown from VT. He is an offensive lineman. They should have done this about 4 years ago to avoid David Carr being such a busssssssssst.

5:09 – The Chargers are up and this is their only pick until the 5th round. Damn, how did that happen? I’m not real sure what their need is here, but my guess would be a back up for LDT. But I don’t know if that is necessary. Why not shore up that defense? They take Antoine Cason, another CB from Arizona. That now gives them 3 solid CBs on this team.

5:11 – Where are the Hoosiers at, dammit?! They have two first round quality guys in Tracy Porter and James Hardy. Character issues you say? Tracy Porter is a fine, upstanding, and law-abiding gentleman and James Hardy is a, uhh, gentleman. Just don’t talk to his ex-girlfriend.


5:16 – Seattle takes DE Lawrence Jackson. How the hell is it that USC doesn’t even win the national title and still, somehow, manages to get 5 guys in the first round. I hate USC. Pete Carroll obviously pays well too.

5:19 – Next up is the Colts. Oh wait, they traded this pick last year, so this entire draft has bored the hell out of me. San Francisco is up and they take Kentwan Balmer, DT from North Carolina. Why the hell is Phillip Merling STILL on the board? Indy, move up and take him now! Fuck! And sorry SF, but what are you thinking? You ranked last in pass yards, totally yards, and points. Alex Smith is still your QB. You have no wide receivers. Come on fools.

5:21 – Steve Young is bumbling and stumbling to try and justify this pick, saying that they are trying to set up a crushing defense and in due time will set up the offense. Ya, ok, keep trying Steve.

Anyways, the real story here is how smart the Indianapolis Colts are, They traded pick last year to get an OT in Tony Ugoh, not even knowing if they would need him. Turns out, they do, as Tarik Glenn retired and we had a huge hole to fill. Tony Ugoh filled in great in his rookie season. Now look, there was a big offensive line run already in the first round and the Colts would have never gotten one (at least, not without reaching), so another great pick by Tony Dungy and Bill Polian.

Ok, I swear that is the last reference to the Colts here.

5:25 – Trade 11 of the first round. Packers send their 1st to the Jets for the 2nd and 4th. Jets fans are hoping for WR here, and I really hope Devin Thomas goes. He looks near suicidal. Actually, so does DeShaun Jackson. I’m very interested in what happens here. Jets need a WR, RB, and figure out their QB situation. Basically, they need help so I don’t know how they can go wrong here.

5:26 - Great sign by a Giants fan:

“J-E-T-S can S-P-E-L-L”.

Seriously, shut up Jets fans. Our allegiance is over.

5:27 – Actually, in retrospect, I don’t know if they need a WR. They have Coles and an up and comer in Cotchery. So maybe they will take a RB here. Ray Rice is still on the board…

5:29 – The pick is Dustin Keller, a TE out of Purdue. Well, Jets fans seem to be mixed here. He actually seems to be pretty talented, but I am a bit pissed off that a fucking Boilermaker went before my beloved Hoosiers. Oh well, 27-24 bitches!

5:31 – There is now a “Let’s go Giants” vs. “Let’s go Jets” chant battle at the Radio City Music Hall. I’d prefer to chant “Burn in Hell” to every team in the northeast (i.e. Pats, Giants, Jets, Red Sox, Yankees, etc.).

5:35 – Fuck, I just realized the Lakers- Nuggets were playing. Ok G-Men, hurry this shit up.

5:36 – The Giants’ pick is in. RB perhaps? Goodell looks kind of nervous here, wonder what is going on. The Giants take Kenny Phillips, safety from Miami. Ohhhh, that’s why he is nervous. More players from the U.

And there you have it, my best attempt at writing a live draft blog in the same self-appreciating, shit don’t stink manner ala Bill Simmons has worked.


Interesting similarities here between this draft and the 1990 draft. Last year it was a 6.5 hour draft, this year, only 3.5. Not too bad. This was the shortest draft since 1990, when a wide receiver was not taken in the first round. And there was no wide receiver taken in this draft! Oooooo, gotta love symbolism. Anyways, I just wasted 3 and a half hours of my life watching large men walk up to a podium and get cell phone calls. I am going to go do something productive, like hit up happy hour and watch some more of the draft. Have a good one…

GDB Field Update: This just happened at the last minute, but Mort told Keyshawn (apparently jokingly) that he was talking to Parcells about bringing back Johnson to the Dolphins, only he told Keyshawn that Parcells told him he couldn’t do it, as he figured Keyshawn had been eating too much fried chicken. You have to love racial stereotypes, they pop up everywhere.

GDB Reader's Poll

Since we all know those shiny-haired "yes" men at ESPN don't know jack about sports, or at least about sports that aren't played in NY and Boston, we are asking you, the millions of GDB readers, to post replies to a few sports related questions:

1. What MLB pitcher would you least like to step into the batters box against?

2. What MLB hitter would you least like to pitch to?

3. If you could pick any baseball player to build a franchise around, who would it be?

4. What NBA player would you pick to build your team around?

5. If you had the #1 pick in the 2008 NFL draft, who would you have taken??

Weekend NBA Preview

A rather boring first week of the NBA playoffs was salvaged by three teams saving their seasons for the time being by winning game 3 on Thursday. Now all 8 first round series head into high gear this weekend. What is on store, GDB is here to take a closer examination.

Friday's Games:

Detroit @ Philadelphia, 7pm. This is the game that will decide if the Pistons are serious about eliminating the Sixers quickly. They blew them out of the water in Game 2 after half-assing it in game 1. They have to realize that the number 1 rule for a favorite in a playoff series is to prevent the underdog from believing that they can beat you. If the Pistons come out tonight and shut down the Sixers, this will probably be over in 5. If the Sixers can ride the momentum of a rabid home crowd and get a win, then all bets are off. The Pistons usually show up in the games they have to win, and I get the feeling that they really want this one tonight
GDB Prediction: Pistons 96-91

New Orleans @ Dallas, 8pm. No team looked worse in the first 2 games than the Mavs. Chris Paul abused Jason Kidd worse than Jason Kidd abused his ex-wife, and Dirk got hoed on national television by David West. I guess they can look forward to coming home, where they've beat the Hornets 13 times in a row, but it just seems like this team is sick of playing with each other and playing for Avery Johnson. They will probably come out fires raging tonight and win, but Chris Paul is simply too dominant to allow the Hornets to lose again. Mavs win tonight, and then go meekly into the night.
GDB Prediction: Mavs 109-96

San Antonio @ Phoenix, 1030pm. If anyone wonders why the Spurs have won 3 titles in the last decade, just watch the second half of game 2 against the Suns. Not only did Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili run circles around the Suns, but the Spurs seemed to break the will of the entire Phoenix team. There is no doubt the Suns have the talent to beat the Spurs the next 2 games at home, but there seems to be some sort of mental block standing in the way. I thought Shaq would break that when he arrived, but it somehow still exists. The good thing for Suns fans is that soft players play much better at home then on the road, meaning Diaw and Barbosa should play well tonight. I picked the Suns to win this series, and i still believe they are good enough to win all the home games in the series, but there is no chance they have the mental fortitude to win a game 7 in San Antonio. Tonight is desperation time, and they will win.
GDB Prediction: Suns 104-92


Saturday's Games

Orlando @ Toronto, 300pm. The Raptors got off the mat and scored a huge victory last night over the Magic. Much of this can be contributed to Jose Calderon, who is the best point guard in the league that no one knows about. Its no coincidence that the Rap Show plays their best with him distributing the ball on offense, yet for some unknown reason TJ Ford still starts and inevitably bogs down their offense with his ball-hogging. If Calderon gets good minutes, he will tear Jameer Nelson apart and lead the Raptors to another victory. Game 4 will be a good signal of how good this Magic team is. If they come out and take care of business they have to be considered legit. But if they let the Raptors dominate them again, then they have no chance of winning over either the Celtics or Pistons, let alone getting out of this series alive. Frankly i don't think they are ready to put the Raptors away, leading to a very long first round series.
GDB Prediction: Raptors 107-102

LA Lakers @ Denver, 530pm. This is going to be such an awesome game. Kobe basically punked the entire Nugs roster on Wednesday, but will head to Colorado for this one, a place that holds special memories for him. The crowd is going to be ruthless towards him, and the thug-life Nuggets are going to throw the kitchen sink at him and the rest of the Lake Show to prove that they are still the toughest group of ballers in the league. If you want to see a playoff game with some intensity this is the one for you. Kobe is either going to try too hard and end up alienating his teammates in the game, or he's going to play at a Jordanesque level and silence all the Laker Haters in Denver. The Nugs play no defense, but the Lakers have struggled defensively on the road, which means the Nugs will be able to play the type of game they like. Kobe will probably score near 50 again, but one man can't win this game, Nugs take game 3.
GDB Prediction: Nugs 118-103

Boston @ Atlanta, 8pm. All that bogus talk of the Celtics winning 70 games was ridiculous, but this team does remind me of the Bulls in one way. They are cold-blooded and will not miss the chance to eliminate an inferior team as quickly as possible. This is obviously attributable to the The Big Ticket, who is the most enjoyable player to watch in the league this side of CP3 because of his legendary intensity. The Hawks tried to man up against the Celtics this series, but insulting the crowd and cutting faux-hawks into your head isnt enough to stop this Celtics squad. Look for half of the "Highlight Factory" crowd to be wearing green, and look for another dominant Boston performance.
GDB Prediction: Celtics 97-82

Houston @ Utah, 1030pm. Last night's result certainly caught Young Swole off guard, but looking back in hindsight I should have noticed the Rockets ability to win such a huge game. No team has played with more intensity this season in spite of so many injury setbacks, and it seemed like they wanted last night's game more than the Jazz. Game 4 is going to be a different story. Its going to be hard to match that level of desperation again, and the Jazz are going to do everything they can to shut down this Rock Show uprising before something serious gets started. Jerry Sloan will have his team ready to dominate and the Jazz will win in the lock of the weekend.
GDB Prediction: Jazz 111-93





Sunday's Game:

Cleveland @ Washington, 1pm. Look I admire it when players aren't afraid to stand up to superstars, but good lord has DeShawn Stevenson made it hard to root for the Wizards in this series. Between his yayo dance, bringing American embarrasment Soulja Boy to the game, and his hideous beard, Stevenson has turned into an even more annoying version of Bruce Bowen. And while you could count on Bowen to at least provide good defense in big games, does anyone really doubt the fact that Stevenson is going to completely dissapear when the stakes is high? I'd bet my life savings that he's going to put up a 2-13 brickfest in an important game later in this series while Lebron rips out his soul and eats it like how Marwan destroyed the seafood buffet in Myrtle Beach last spring. Game 4 will probably be the closest game of the series, and in close games i am going with King James, and not wack ass DeShawn Stevenson.
GDB Prediction: Cavs 91-88

When OPEC gives you lemons, turn them into Oil

Ahhh the heady days of spring. Warm weather brings the return of baseball, fly southern ladies looking gorgeous on SEC campuses, and of course the yearly rise in gasoline prices. For years oil prices have risen around this time because of increased demands during the summer months. This year however, has taken the oil price increase to an extreme. With prices of a barrel of crude oil approaching 120$ dollars, the average gas price have increased sharply to an average of $3.50 across the nation. While these prices are finally catching up with the rest of the world average, here in America it is being treated as the apocalypse. Americans won't be able to get to their jobs! Americans won't have enough money to spend on groceries!! Americans need to invest in covered wagons and oxen and restore the Oregon Trail!! While this hyperbole was meant to humorize a very real reality for many poor Americans, it brings up a larger point. Our country has become completely reliant on a finite commodity that was bound to rise in price in the face of war, increased worldwide demand and decreasing resources.

American society has very stupidly bought into the idea that oil was an infinite commodity, and that oil prices would never rise to present levels. American politicians very stupidly allowed this to happen because they were being financed by the giant oil companies. And now because of this, the entire framework of our society is being antiquated on a daily basis. The very people complaining of gas prices are the people who were short sighted when they bought their third SUV, or bought a house 2 hours from their job, or supported a war in the region of the world that produces the most oil in the world. And while we can look back and laugh at these people every time they pay 150 dollars to fill up their Hummer, the true blame should go to the US Government for being so short sighted in case of an impending shortage of oil. Did they not see that population rates were increasing worldwide meaning demand would rise? Did they not see the modernization of countries like China and India which meant that the US would no longer control oil production and distribution? And did it not see the need for alternative fuel sources and modes of transportation in the face of decreasing availibility of oil?

It isnt much of a revelation to realize that oil is running out on our Earth. Major reserves such as the North Sea and Saudi Arabia see decreasing reserves. Closer to home, Alaskan and Venezuelan reserves are also decreasing not because the oil companies are hoarding the oil, but because there simply isnt enough to pump out!! Even that ANWR field in Alaska that Bush and Cheney worked so hard to open up would only supply America with one year's worth of oil at current rates. The bottom line is that there simply is not enough oil to go around, which is precisely why its so stupid to build an economy on its very shoulders. I guess Bush's answer to this was to go to war with Iraq to try and get their oil, but we can all see that its not really going to well and that there should probably have been more ideas considering before choosing the Iraq avenue. Even if the war was going swimmingly, it still doesn't stop the fact that so many more countries in the war are needing more and more oil that the demand would outstrip any price reductions Americans would see from increased oil supply.

Now, as oil prices inevitably rise, we have millions of Americans unable to balance the added cost of gasoline in the face of a very weak dollar. And while it may be idealistic to say the situation can get better, the truth is it really can't. American infrastructure is so woefully prepared for a world with high oil prices, that our economy will continue to falter for the forseeable future. Just wait until United Airlines goes bankrupt in a few weeks, merges with Continental and airline prices rise to astronomical prices to cover fuel costs. Or just wait until trucking companies go bottom up and the prices of all commodities they carry skyrocket. And since so many of our largest business centers and connectibility between these business centers rely on energy-demanding modes of transportation, the present problem will no doubt continue to grow worse and worse. I live near Atlanta and was shocked to see that there really no mass transit at all. Sure there's a few MARTA lines and busses, but there ain't shit for the guy who bought his house in Conyers an hour away from his job and requires his car to get to work. And since local goverments are for some reason so resistant to mass transit, there is no hope of a commuter rail line or comprehensive transit system for 10 years at least. Furthermore, its not just Atlanta with a problem like this. Because of American's desire to move into the leafy suburbs outside their supposedly "dangerous" cities, places like Phoenix, San Diego, Houston, and Dallas among hundreds of others have no real way to cheaply move around the people that create their economic viability.

So what do we do to solve this problem? Well there are a lot of directions on which to turn but Young Swole has identified 4 possible solutions to the problem...

1. Demand government to change their energy position. Its sadly visible how this adminstration coddles to the oil companies, basically Exxon got Bush elected in the first place. But times and situations have changed at it is no longer acceptable for our country to be so hand-tied by one such commodity. Not only is it inherently dangerous in placing our country's well being in the hands of such a volatile commodity, but its also ridiculously short sighted in the face of all the issues we are facing in the 21st century. Until our government chooses to separate itself from its reliance on oil and be able to think for themselves about how to solve these problems, it will continue to destroy our country.

2. Start mass transit programs, like yesterday. It is absolutely mind boggling howAmerica can be so stupid in its ways of moving people. Infrastructure simply cannot keep up with the demands of an increasing population. The best solution is to follow European and Asian models and increase mass transit. Every city should at least have some bus lines to move people around, and larger cities should have an extensive network of rail lines to cheaply and efficiently move people around. Just imagine if Chicago or New York didnt have mass transportation. Would they really be the economic leaders they are today? The answer is no, because those very people who create the economic backbone of these cities wouldnt be able to get any work done because they'd be stuck in traffic all day. Until America realizes that mass transit isn't some hippie Euro bullshit idea but instead an absolute necessity to economic survivability in the 21st century, our nation and economy will continue to quickly degenerate.

3. Learn to rely on sources of energy other than oil. In the face of Earth Day and the oil price saga, large corporations and goverment pay lip service to developing alternative energy sources. Nothing has really gotten done yet because they are not willing to invest the money required to not just create an alternative, but instead a solution to the oil problem. Things aren't getting any better with oil, but it seems like the people in power believe that alternative energy should just be a supplement to oil, instead of becoming the major source of energy for America. What they don't realize is that the entire economy will break down as long as we rely on oil, and that there will be nothing left to spend money on if all we have is money to spend on oil. I guess they don't realize that if a source of energy can be developed in America, we would no longer have to pay exorbitant rates for something like oil and no longer have to get involved in clusterfucks like the Middle East. In fact, if America could find a source of energy that the rest of the world would demand, then it would be able to mend a broken economy and in fact make our country flourish. Dubai was built because the UAE had something that everyone else wanted. I refuse to believe that America is too dumb to come up with a solution if the proper resources are given to those people who can find it, and if we can do this then not only will our present problems be solved, but also America's future will be much safer.

And finally, if America is too stupid to initiate any of the ideas above (which is sadly a 99.9% certainty), and thus inevitably falls behind the rest of the world, then i offer suggestion 4....

4. Buy a bike from my dad. Seriously he's got like 6 of them

MLB Power Poll

The Knuckleballer is back like Tim Wakefield for another week of ranking the top 10 teams in Major League Baseball. Without further ado, let's take the current pulse of the league.

1.) Arizona Diamondbacks (15-5)- I see no reason to move this team anywhere. After all, they had the best record in baseball last week, and that fact hasn't changed. Brandon Webb is the game's best pitcher at 5-0 while Dan Haren and Micah Owings are a combined 7-0 (Haren pitches tonight against the Dodgers). It's hard to argue that there's a pitching staff in the majors that can even come close to challenging the D-Backs (not the D-bags).

2.) Boston Red Sox (15-7)- The BoSox currently lead the AL in the standings by a couple of games. Sloppy Big Papi is finally breaking out of his funk with 12 Ribbies in his last 5 games. The Sox haven't lost since my last post, but one thing to keep an eye on is their Starting Pitching. Beckett and Dice-K have each been scratched from starts this week.

3.) Chicago Cubs (14-6)- The Cubbies are as hot as any team in baseball right now cruising on a 5 game winning streak with sweeps over the Pirates and Mets. A big key to the North-siders hot start is the performance of Carlos Zambrano. Remember how bad he was the last 2 seasons to start the year. His era was over 7 in the month of April in 2006 and 2007. This year, he's 3-1 with 27 K's and a 2.67 era. Now if the rest of the rotation can at least put up respectable numbers, this could be a very dangerous team. Luckily, Hill and Lilly both got W's in their last starts after a sluggish first couple of outings. The surprise so far though has to go to Ryan Dempster who has ressurected his career with 3 wins this year.

4.) Milwaukee Brewers (12-8)- The Brew Crew are starting to get their groove back as well with wins in 4 of 6 (both losses were by a run). Their offense hasn't gelled yet, but once they do, it's going to be trouble for NL pitching. Speaking of pitching, the Brewers got some great news this weekend when their young stud Yovani Gallardo came off the DL to pitch 7 strong innings (only 1 ER). Unfortunately, Ben Sheets is having his annual injury time off and he was skipped in the rotation this week. If Milwaukee wants to stay in the thick of the NL Central race, it's imperative that Sheets is healthy for most of the year.

5.) St. Louis Cardinals (13-8)- Once again, it's a triple play for the NL Central as the Cubs, Brewers, and Cards go 3 in a row. There isn't much separation between this trio right now with the Cardinals bringing up the rear only because they haven't been quite as hot this week as the other two squads (5-5 in their last 10 games). The hitting has remained solid with Albert Pujols leading the charge (a scorching .352 average and 4 Jacks so far). However, the pitching is coming back to earth a little bit. Braden Looper has been taken for a loop lately and a starting pitcher hasn't won since Todd Wellemeyer got a W on Friday (although it looks like he's well on his way to another tonight). Although people may call it fluky, the way these Red Birds have played so far, they must be taken seriously.

6.) Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (12-9)- Before dropping their last two games, the Angels had won 6 of 7. If I had done this poll on Monday, the Angels might have slipped in at number 3, but that shows that these rankings are tighter than a pair of Jim Bonfield's pants. The Angels as always are quietly making a stand in the AL West. No one talks about the Halo's because they play their games after San Fran goes to bed, but beware, when John Lackey comes back you aren't going to want to fuck with this team. They'll be tested this week though with series against the Red Sox and Tigers.

7.) Chicago White Sox (11-8)- It's been a full week since the Chi Sox have had a streak of any kind. They've alternated wins and losses every day and it shows that this team is still inconsistent. Sometimes they look like world beaters (see: @ Tampa on Friday) and sometimes they look like a Little League team (see: vs. New York on Tuesday), but you never know which Chicago team is going to show up. It's still early, but this team needs to establish a rhythm if they want to be contenders instead of pretenders.

8.) Florida Marlins (12-8)- The Marlins have been swimming smoothly against inferior competition with wins in 3 of 4 over the Nats and Pirates. Now they need to show that they can compete with the big fish in the sea. They're at Atlanta and Milwaukee coming up and it will be an important test to see if these fish aren't just flashes in the pan...what am I talking about, in a month Florida will be long gone from this list. Hopefully they enjoy this hot start while they can (every Marlin should send Hanley Ramirez a free case of Corona for everything he's done for them).

9.) Oakland Athletics (12-9)- The A's are another team that has a nice little 3 out of 4 win streak going. They probably want to keep it quiet that those 3 wins were over the Royals, but a win is a win. Some interesting stats for Oakland so far this season...Joe Blanton leads the majors in Innings pitching, however he's also given up more hits than any other pitcher so far. It's tough to see this team staying in the hunt when their leading batter is Kurt Suzuki (.319 average) and their best pitcher by ERA is Dana Eveland (1.90). The A's have a total of 8 Homeruns...while Chase Utley has 9 by himself. Glad I'm not an Oakland fan.

10.) Philadelphia Phillies (11-10)- Speaking of Sir Utley...he helps the Phils land in the 10 spot once again after a ridiculous week in which he hit 6 HR in 6 games. Philly is on a 3 game winning streak and is tied for 2nd in the NL East. Unfortunately, Jimmy Rollins landed on the DL this week for the first time ever. They'll need last year's MVP to be healthy if they want to have any shot at winning their highly competitive division. Either way, there's a shot that Philadelphia could have three MVP winners in three straight years (Howard in '06, Rollins in '07, Utley??? in '08). Hey anything's possible and at his current rate, it doesn't seem unrealistic that he could become the 4th second baseman to win the award. Lastly, how bout Brad Lidge. After a tumultuous past couple of seasons, Lidge has righted the ship with 5 saves and 0 ER this season.

Izzo to the Bulls

The hot rumor of the morning is that Tom Izzo is very interested in taking the vacant Chicago Bulls coaching position. As a Michigan State fan, I think he has to take this opportunity. Not only has Izzo shown he is one of the best ever at the college level, but he is at an age and experience level that this may be his best chance to be successful at the next level, something he has admitted to thinking about before. He has turned MSU into a perennial power in college, and its hard to imagine him being unsuccessful at the pro level thanks to his unique combination of intensity, relatability with players and also innovation. Another intriguing option about the Chicago job is that it is a roster full of players who have played at premier college programs. Give Izzo a team with players such as Joakim Noah, Luol Deng, Kirk Hinrich and whoever they draft this year and i think he could do a great job restoring the team to playoff contention.

It would hurt MSU greatly if Izzo left, but everything points to this being a good move for him. He would still be close to Michigan, in a familiar region where the Bulls fan base would be familiar with his work. If he somehow wasnt successful at the pro level, there would be about 350 college teams that would break the bank to have him come back and coach at their school. If this is truly a dream that Izzo wants to chase, this would be the perfect chance for him to take.

This is how UGA Football Players Roll

Young Swole will try to tell you that Football Players from the University of Georgia are upstanding citizens, but we all know the truth. Here's what the Bulldogs are really like off the field...in today's episode of "Don't Tase me Bro", former UGA Running Back Tim Worley gets blasted by a Police Officer after getting pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving.

2008 NBA Awards

The regular season has finally ended. Losers are claiming worthless NBA fantasy titles, scrub teams are going home and Isiah Thomas is about to be fired. One of the most exciting playoffs i can ever remember is also about to get underway, with almost every matchup filled with loads of intrigue and excitement. We will get to our playoff previews later, first lets hand out the awards for the 2008 regular season.



NBA MVP: Kevin Garnett. You will not find a bigger Boston hater than Young Swole, but it is simply impossible to hate on what KG has meant to the Celtics since his arrival. He singlehandedly revived one of the greatest franchise in pro sports history, completely changed the attitude of an entire city that had become apathetic towards pro hoops, and on the court changed the Celtics from a bunch of lazy bums into the top title contender in the whole NBA. I remember the first game of the season against the wizards when KG was so amped up that he shot an airball on his first attempt. Then he settled down and the Celts blew the Wiz out of the building, and pretty much haven't let off the gas pedal since. For winning the most games in the whole NBA, and causing the greatest turnaround in league history, The Big Ticket has to be the man.
2nd: CP3 (An amazing season and the best PG in the NBA, his case would have been stronger if the Hornets had won the west, but they faded a little down the stretch)
3rd: Kobe Bryant. A great season from the Mamba, but Gasol and Bynum were just as integral to the Lakers better season as Kobe was



NBA Rookie of the Year: Kevin Durant. For all the bullshit that KD and the Sonics had to go through this year, it is quite incredible the accomplishments that this kid put up. Whereas most rookies fade down the stretch of the long NBA season, Durant only got better and better. He shot over 50% from the field the last 2 months of the season and began to have those career defining games such as when he led the Sonics over the Nuggets in double OT by hitting threes from near 40 feet away. He not only grew physically stronger, but mentally as well. The Sonics were awful all year, but Durant never mailed it in. He instead continued to work hard to improve his game while caring immensely for the fans of a team that was in the yearlong process of being stolen by a consortium of Oklahoma fuckstains and David Stern. Not that they really deserve it, but Oklahoma City fans are going to enjoy watching a perennial all-star for the next 3 years.
2nd: Al Horford (Provided an inside presence for the Hawks, showed no fear against the best big men in the league)
3rd: Rodney Stuckey (Guys like this are why Joe Dumars has the GM game on lock)



NBA 6th Man of the year: JR Smith. This guy may be the most explosive player in the NBA, literally and figuratively. When he has his head screwed on straight he provides the Nuggets with a scoring option that cannot be stopped. He's averaged nearly 20 points off the bench over the last 2 months of the season, and his contribution in the game last week against Golden State saved Denver's season. When he came in they were down by nearly 20 points, after all was said and done the Nugs had pretty much locked up a playoff berth. What more could you ask of a 6th man?
2nd: Louis Williams (Helped the 76ers become the surprise team of the 2nd half of the season)
3rd: Travis Outlaw (Part of a scary young nucleus out in the Pacific Northwest)



NBA Most Improved Player: Monta Ellis. We first saw a glimpse of his talent last spring when the Warriors went on their playoff run, but this year has been a revelation. Ellis is not only the most dangerous and unstoppable player in the open court in the entire NBA, but he may also be the best mid-range jump shooter in the league as well. For a guard to shoot as high of a field goal percentage as Ellis did is unbelievable. As long as he plays in the Golden State system, he will easily average 25 points a game from here on out.
2nd: Al Jefferson (The only bright spot in a dismal Timberwolves season)
3rd: Hedo Turkoglu (Along with Dwight Howard helped turn around the Magic franchise)



NBA Defensive Player of the Year: Kevin Garnett. Not only did he provide an intimidating presence in the paint for the Celtics, but by changing the attitude of the team so that defense was their number 1 focus, he helped make the Celtics into the best defensive team in the NBA.
2nd: Manu Ginobili (I hate him as much as any other non-Spurs fan, but this dude is legit)
3rd: DeShawn Stevenson (Anybody with the balls to call out King James, and then actually slow him down is pretty impressive)



NBA Coach of the Year: Byron Scott. For the second time in his career, Scott has now resurrected a moribund franchise and turned them into title contenders. The only reason he was in New Orleans is because Jason Kidd is a huge bitch, but the Nets loss was the Hornets gain. Scott was smart enough to realize what he had in Chris Paul and developed the rest of the team around him. It is obvious his players respect him, which is pretty much the greatest compliment you can give to an NBA coach.
2nd: Rick Adelman (Leading a Rockets team without Yao to 55 wins is remarkable)
3rd: Maurice Cheeks (Coach of the most exciting young team in the Eastern Conference)



All-NBA First Team
G - Chris Paul
G - Kobe Bryant
F - Lebron James
F - Kevin Garnett
C - Dwight Howard



All-NBA Second Team
G - Deron Williams
G - Manu Ginobili
F - Paul Pierce
F - Amare Stoudemire
C - Marcus Camby



All-NBA Third Team
G - Steve Nash
G - Monta Ellis
F - Hedo Turkoglu
F - David West
C - Pau Gasol

It's a Bird...It's a Plane...No Wait it Really is a Bird! A Redbird!

As of tonight, the crown jewel of the the National League, the St. Louis Cardinals, are 11-4. The offense is prolific, the hustle is epic, the starting pitching is surgically precise. When a few pitchers come off the DL in the next couple months, we could sell another team an entire rotation. Maybe the Marlins or the Rangers are interested? They get Wellemeyer, Reyes, Thompson, Pinero and Clement. We will keep Wainwright, Carpenter, Mulder, Lohse and Looper. Just thought you guys might like to see what is (hopefully) a preview of things to come when Young Hombre (Pujols), Young Tobacco Chewer (Chris Duncan), and Young Roy Hobbs (Rick Ankiel) come to town this year.


P.S. The cub must have tried to use Sammy Sosa's old bat. If you look closely, you can see the cork inside.

Recap of the Men's Little 500

Little 500 Race Recap

Another exciting Little 500 came and went this weekend, with Cutters taking the checkered flag in a 10 lap breakaway from the main field. Making their move near lap 189, the team held strong and maintained a ½ lap lead over contenders TMT, Dodd’s House, ATO and Phi Psi with senior rider Sasha Land bringing home the victory.

Weather in the mid 40’s with light rain was tough on attendance, but riders fought hard nonetheless and the beginning few laps went off without a hitch. It wasn’t until somewhere around the 15^th lap that the race saw its first yellow flag, as one rider was carried off on a paramedic board as a precaution. Things remained docile until close to lap 60, when pre-race favorite Black Key Bulls suffered a mechanical issue, struggling with to get the correct chain tension. Unfortunately there are no free laps in this one-of-a-kind relay event and the mechanical mistake proved disastrous for their overall chances. They lost an entire lap and were left to sprint for 8^th place.

DU, GDB’s pre-race pick to win also struggled when a crash on lap 75 took them out of the lead group. Fallen rider Pete Stevens did well to control the damage and keep the team about ½ lap down. The comeback attempt was immediately enacted and Coach Jim Brunkella was changing riders rapidly. Riders swapped out every two laps to best maximize everyone’s energy levels. But as is often the case in bicycle racing, the pack was just too fast and after 20 laps, the comeback attempt was reeled in. The Boys in blue would have to settle for 9^th place as Steve Tratar was edged out by Isaac Neff in the closing sprint.

The race circled on without too much excitement and it was Phi Psi, Cutters, TMT and Dodd’s House setting the pace for the majority of the time. With Black Key Bulls and top rider Isaac Neff off the lead lap, a wide open sprint finish seemed to be unavoidable. Laps 140-180 were calm, with the riders feeling each other out and waiting for the right moment to strike. Unsurprisingly, it was the Cutters who launched the winning move. Years of experience allowed Coach Jason Fowler to identify his team as the strongest. Sensing pain and weakness amongst their chief competitors, the attack was on, started by trailing Phi Psi as they came out for a burn. When they came around to pit, Cutters rider Sasha Land simply kept going. The teams remaining on the lead lap were slow to organize a chase and before too long, the Cutters had all but locked up their 9^th title. After they crossed the line some 20 seconds ahead, it was TMT’s Ali Camera who put forth an impressive effort on the last lap to secure second place by about three bike lengths. He was followed by Dodd’s house, surprise contender ATO and Phi Psi to round out the top 5.

This was definitely one of the more anti-climactic races in recent years and many were disappointed not to have more exciting finish. Combined with really uncomfortable weather and this race was one you wouldn’t mind missing if you had to. With many talented riders returning next year, we’re sure to have another exciting installment at the 59^th running of the Indiana University Men’s Little 500.

-Another big thank you to Young Contador for his recap.

BREAKING NEWS: Cutter's Heroes Enjoy Post-Race Celebration...Perhaps Too Much!

Goodbye Supersonics

The time has finally come. My favorite NBA team is about to pack up its bags and move to Oklahoma City. Many of us know the story of how Starbucks asshat Howard Schultz sold the team to Oklahoma asshats Clay Bennett and crew, and how the local government ignored any proposals for a new arena. I don't really want to focus on how extremely wealthy and also exceedingly greedy businessmen and politicians created this situation, I'd rather post some of the memories from a basketball era that will sadly end with tonight's regular season finale...

-As a kid in Connecticut without cable, I didn't get to see many Sonics highlights. About the only way I knew of the team is because of my Skybox rookie cards of Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp. Then my parents bought me a video titled "Super Slams of the NBA" which showed some of Kemp's earliest dunks. Of course he instantly became my favorite player.

- The Sonics continued to get better in the early 90's until they reached a point that they were one of the best teams in the NBA. Then in the 1994 playoffs as the number 1 seed they lost to the Nuggets. This of course was an awful moment in Sonics history, but it was also my first chance to see The Glove and the Reign Man play on NBC.

- After that series i began to devoutly follow the NBA boxscores for Sonics scores. I'd never miss NBA Inside Stuff because i knew that Kemp and Payton would always be in the Jam Session highlights. I also knew that with every game won, their chances of being in the playoffs and thus on NBC would grow.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=dKz8ACUAApQ

(Nothing is better than the epic yamm job he puts down on Alton Lister)

- Finally in 1996, the Sonics broke through and beat the Jazz to make the NBA finals. Unfortunately they had to take on the greatest team of all time, the 72 win Bulls, but they still put up a great fight. Three things stood out for me in the series. First of all was how despite what Bulls fans say, Shawn Kemp was by far the best player in the series. He destroyed Rodman and Pippen in every single game and looked on the verge of becoming the best player in the NBA. The second thing I remember is how loud the crowd was before Game 3 in Seattle

http://youtube.com/watch?v=EW19D4qXStI&feature=related .

The crowd fucking drowns out the PA announcer. Seriously if that doesn't give you goosebumps then I don't know what will. The third thing i remember is how Kemp and GP always did that ill shake with their fists before the game started. After that finals me and my boy Scott Stevens would do that before every soccer game in homage to the ballers from the Northwest.

- That Sonics team also featured the biggest pimp ever to put on a jersey in Sam Perkins, aka Big Smooth. This motherfucker was so chill that he didnt even need to jump to make a three, he just rocked back a little and stroked the nets. Plus not only was his nickname the most accurate of all time in terms of on-court personna, but it could quite possibly be the greatest nickname of all time in general.

-After the Finals appearance things went downhill for the Sonics. First they signed the worst player in the history of the NBA in Jim McIlvaine. Then Shawn Kemp turned into the Rick James of the NBA and was eventually traded to Cleveland. I thought rock bottom had been reached when Gary Payton was traded to Milwaukee, but i was wrong because the Sonics got back Ray Allen, who slowly helped turn the Sonics back into a contender. With the help of Rashard Lewis, Luke Ridnour and Flip Murray (who i constantly bugged Thompson about in sophomore year of college), the Sonics once again became a 50 win team and very nearly defeated eventual champions San Antonio in the 2nd round.

- Now the Sonics are awful again, but i was hoping that Kevin Durant would spearhead the next generation of great Seattle basketball teams. With him, Jeff Green and possibly Derrick Rose, Sonics fans would have the hope they they could quickly return to the playoffs and championship contention. Now they are going to move to Oklahoma City, but i will not move with them. I can't support a team owned by a jerk who displaced a legendary NBA franchise even if it has so much promise for the future. I'll no longer have an NBA team to root for, but i will always have the memories of rooting for one of the most exciting teams that the NBA has seen in recent decades.