Another reason why tennis is amazing

Yup, she's from Georgia.

MLB 2nd Half Predictions

The All-Star game has come and gone. Thanks to Fox starting the game at damn near 9pm on the east coast, I couldn't even make it to the end of the game. It turns out the AL won for the 11th year in a row in the 15th inning, yet I doubt anyone who was watching at the beginning made it all the way to the end. Now that the fitting tribute to Yankee Stadium has passed, its time to look forward to the 2nd half of the season with shocking predictions that are guaranteed to come true...

3 General Predictions:

1. George Steinbrenner will not outlive Yankee Stadium. Yeah it was sad seeing him golf-carted around the stadium, but quite honestly I'm not going to feel sorry for one of the most epic dickheads in baseball history.

2. Both Chicago teams will make the playoffs, and neither New York team will. It comes down to pitching folks, and while the Cubs and White Sox have among the strongest staffs in baseball, the New York teams are mediocre and inconsistent at best.

3. Barry Bonds will get signed by someone. Just wait until a major team falls behind in the stadium and needs a jumpstart. As Grady once said "Desperation is a stinky cologne", but someone will trade the funky stink of Bonds for postseason hope.

Award Predictions:

AL MVP: Justin Morneau

AL Cy Young: John Lackey

AL Rookie of the Year: Evan Longoria

AL Manager of the Year: Joe Madden

NL MVP: Chase Utley

AL Cy Young: Ben Sheets

NL Rookie of the Year: Hiroki Kuroda

NL Manager of the Year: Lou Piniella

Division Predictions:

AL East: Boston

AL Central: Chicago

AL West: Anaheim

AL Wild Card: Minnesota

We've already seen the Rays start to weaken in the division race, and while they have been awesome so far I just can't see how they can keep up this level for the entire season playing in such a tough division. Boston has the most complete team and should continue to pull away while the Yankees inconsistencies and injury concerns will greatly hinder them. Chicago has the pitching and Minnesota is the most exciting young team in the AL and could possibly get Francisco Liriano back in the 2nd half too. Anaheim should run away with the AL West with their awesome staff.

NL East: Philadelphia

NL Central: Chicago

NL West: LA Dodgers

NL Wild Card: Milwaukee

The Phillies are by far and away the most mentally tough team in the NL East, and also have the best lineup and bullpen. If they can add a starter at the deadline they should be good to go. The Cubs and Brewers have to be considered the 2 best teams in the entire NL, and their excellent starting pitching will prevent them from having long slumps. St. Louis has been a good story but unless they make a big trade it will be hard for them to keep up with these guys in their division. Out west is anyone's guess, they all suck out there, but I'll give the edge to the Dodgers because of their manager and young players.

World Series Prediction:

Anaheim -vs- Chicago, Angels win in 6.

Baseball Advertising Blows

Baseball is my favorite sport, but as far as marketing goes, they are a distant third behind the NFL and the NBA. Why can't baseball have good commercials too? Maybe it's Fox (my employer), or maybe it's the MLB, but it's clear they need to hire a better ad agency (or maybe steal some away from the NBA/NFL).

The past few years, shit's been weak for the MLB. Dane Cook last year??!
C'mon. Can't you guys do better than the most overrated/annoying comedian on the planet. This year, they've got some no-name blogger as their spokesman for the playoffs. This is a terrible marketing ploy. I'm a blogger, and I love writing, but let's be for real. That's not going to make me or anyone else more interested in watching the playoffs. It's all about the big names (and I'm not talking about obnoxious Dane Cook).

The NBA has won it's way back into America's hearts with great ad campaigns. Last year they had prime timers hyping up the playoffs including Jeremy Piven (Entourage's Ari Gold), Will Smith and other "now" actors. This year they had the slogan "There's Only One" and "Where _____ Happens". Both were very successful. The Super Bowl is known as having unquestionably the best commercials of any sporting event. Football has been strong for years and is so far ahead of every other american sport that it can just stay consistent and keep it's crown.

So MLB, if you want to avoid becoming a joke, get some new Ad Guru's. PS: If I see another ad for FrankTV I'm going to kill someone (most likely Joe Buck).

Shut Up Papelbon

Classy guys like Justin Morneau rarely get the headlines. It's usually idiots spouting off bullshit that get their names on ESPN.com. Well that's the case once again with one of the most annoying players in the game right now. Jonathon Papelbon is known for taunting opposing teams and talking shit after he strikes anyone out.

Yesterday he said that he should close the All-star game tonight instead of Mariano Rivera, despite the fact that the game is in Yankee Stadium and Rivera has better stats than him this year and is light years ahead of him on the career scale.

"We've both earned that right; us, by winning the World Series and having the opportunity of having our manager there and our team being represented, and Mariano by what he's done for this role, we're in Yankee Stadium and blah, blah, blah," Papelbon said. "It's not that easy. Everybody thinks it's a cut and dry answer, but it's not. If I was managing the team, I would close, I'm not managing the team, so it don't matter."

He backed off his comments a little bit today saying that he thinks Rivera will get the nod, but who does this chump think he is. He's been in the league for less than 3 years and already thinks he's God's gift. This isn't the first time this year that he's talked shit.

He ran his mouth about the Rays a month ago saying that "it wasn't over between them" and that "they were going to get what was coming to them" after a brawl between the two teams in their previous series (the Rays went on to sweep the Red Sox). Paps has even hated on his own teammates saying pitcher Manny Delcarmen couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. The young pole smoker needs to know his place.

Sure he's a great closer right now, but how many just like him have come along. Remember when Eric Gagne won the Cy young a couple of years ago...where's he at now? Learn some respect you tool bag and shut your mouth.

Feel the Power

Tonight as I go to bed I cannot help but think I've just witnessed what will be one of the enduring baseball memories of my lifetime: Josh Hamilton absolutely CRUSHING baseball after baseball in the 2008 Home Run Derby.

The mere fact that he hit 28 home runs is enough to make it a memorable performance, but far more impressive than the number of dingers he hit is the distance he hit them. He hit at least three of those balls more than 500 ft. Granted it might not be as masterful a hitting display as this, but it sure comes close (pardon my sarcasm).




And it was nice to see him give credit to Jesus, since after Barack Obama is elected we will all have to worship his god. Unfortunately Indiana Jones will be too old to save us this time around.





As for Justin Morneau, it was truly refreshing to see a professional athlete with the self-awareness and presence of mind to realize that while he held the victor's trophy, something more special had taken place tonight. Morneau humbly accepted his trophy before quickly redirecting the spotlight on the evening's star: Josh Hamilton. Morneau, a player who I've always respected for his quiet yet successful approach to the game, not to mention his MVP-level talent, took a huge jump in my book. He's a true class act.

Hamilton's story is an inspiration to anyone who is struggling with personal problems of their own. He created for himself a hellish reality of life fraught with drug addiction and substance abuse, and then, with the help of his faith and his family, pulled himself up to become a favorite for the AL MVP, a starter for the All-Star Game, and the 2008 Home Run Derby Champion in everything but the offical records. Bravo Mr. Hamilton.

Thursday Night Observations

Time for Sweezy to get on the soapbox and opine on some of the events of our time...

- In the final year of Yankee Stadium, its fitting that it hosts the All-Star game. I am hoping though that this is the last great moment in the stadium. I'd find it hilarious if there was no October baseball in The Bronx this year so that we could avoid all the sob stories about Yankee Nostalgia. Hopefully the stadium and the Yanks will go out in the most painful way possible, and I can't think of a better way than a meaningless game between a Red Sox team that has already clinched the division and a Yankees team with no postseason hope.

- On the subject of the All-Star game, its time for fans to be eliminated from voting for the starters. Their idiocy is one of the major factors ruining the Summertime Classic. Simply put, marginal players like Dustin Pedroia and Kosuke Fukudome do not deserve to even be in the stadium, let alone starting for their respective leagues. MLB should do something like allow fans to keep voting, but rig the votes so that more deserving players get the nod, such as Ian Kinsler or Carlos Lee.

- Could it also be the All-Star game has been losing ratings because of the deplorable announcers in charge of calling the events? First up you have Chris Berman saying the same hideously annoying catchphrases he has for the last 20 years during the Home Run Derby, and then you have the smug Joe Buck and senile Tim McCarver calling the actual game. If MLB was serious about making the All-Star game relevant, it would replace these hacks with people who are actually interested in describing the game instead of hearing their own voices and reveling in their bloated sense of self-importance.

- Its amazing how Todd Jones is still a closer. Thats all i'm going to say after today's performance. He better not be seen in Athens, Georgia tonight or he's gonna get got.

- Another banner day for the NFL as another player, Matt Jones, gets arrested for felony possession of cocaine. I'd argue that this charge is much more serious than anything Michael Vick or Adam Jones have been convicted of, but racism still doesn't exist in sports right?

- If breaking news is considered to be Brett Favre sending a text message, then its going to be a long hot summer full of worthless Favre speculation. I don't know whats more unbelievable about this; the fact that news sources deemed this important enough to smother with coverage, or the fact that supposed country yokel Favre even knew how to text message. Maybe he learned how to in rehab.

- I'm calling it right now, Sixers in the NBA Finals next year. People are about to learn just how good Elton Brand is.

- This whole Brandon Jennings to Europe thing is pretty interesting, I'm just shocked someone hasn't done it before. There's really no language barrier in large European cities, the players will get paid handsomely for their services, and European poon is no joke (though still not close to SEC Poon).

- Its pretty hilarious to hear the things that Charlie Weis says. Earlier this week he commented that its possible for Notre Dame to be 11-0 heading into a game with USC in November, and in regards to winning that game Weis said "Anything's possible." This is coming from the (gaping) mouth of a man who could possibly be the most incompetent head coach in Notre Dame history. Seriously this man makes Bob Davie look like Tom Osborne. Weis has used every excuse in the book for his lackluster career record, I'm just waiting for the day that someone actually calls him out on the bullshit that is his coaching prowess and overall just his worth as a human being. At least it keeps Notre Dame a laughingstock for the entire country, which I guess is a gift i should be more thankful for.

- Its been a pretty good week for viewing entertainment in the life of the Sweezic One. First I saw Wall-E on Tuesday which was absolutely incredible. Its good to see creative and innovative movies get shine at the expense of the formulaic tripe that Hollywood has overdosed upon in recent years. Tonight is also the 2nd season premiere of Burn Notice. If you've never seen the show, you are missing out. Not only is it fun and entertaining, but it also provided awesome tips if you ever have the need to blow shit up, escape from evil people or just be a menace to society in general. Finally, next weekend will be the opening of The Dark Knight. This movie is getting a ton of hype, and with the actors and producers involved I have a feeling its going to be beyond justified after all is said and done.

Alright I feel sick to my stomach for including that disgusting picture of Charlie Weis. So I will leave you now with a glorious picture of SEC Poon to cleanse your mind with.

MLB Power Poll All Star Edition

We're just 5 days away from the 2008 All-Star game and I've got some opinions on the big week at Yankee Stadium. From the looks of it, the NL is more stacked than the AL. Year after year, it always appears that the National League has the bigger name players going into the game, but every All-Star game since 1996 has ended the same way...a Big W for the American League (save for the tie game in 2002). Could this be the year that the NL finally breaks through? My guess is no. I'm going with 7-5 AL with my boy Justin Morneau hitting a 2 run double to break the tie in the 7th inning. Many people think that it would be most meaningful to have Mariano Rivera start the game, but I think he should finish off the contest in the 9th. He's been a closer pretty much his whole career and it only makes sense that he's in there at the end while the Yankee Stadium crowd gives him a standing ovation.

As for the actual rosters, I think that for the most part they are pretty legit. I'm glad Matt Holliday will be starting for the NL. Even though he's missed 3 weeks this year, he's still been arguably a top 5 player in the game and already deserved the spot over Kosuke Fukudome (highly overrated). Carlos Lee, Brandon Phillips, Garrett Atkins and a trio of Mets (David Wright, Carlos Beltran, and Jose Reyes) all got the shaft. On the AL side I think the roster is pretty much as it should be, although Ian Kinsler should be starting over Dustin Pedroia, but I'm sure he'll get a chance to shine. I also think Justin Morneau should have gotten the starting nod over Kevin Youkilis, but it's all good. Evan Longoria deservedly gets a slot on the team through the last chance fan vote. Alright, I'm off my soap box. Let's check out the poll.

1.) Chicago White Sox (53-37)- Are you kidding me, another new number 1 team? You better believe it! For the third week in a row we've got first timer holding down the top spot. The White Sox may not have the best record in baseball, but they are playing better than anyone in the game right now. It's the same formula they used when they won the world series in 2005 with a full team effort every game. They're currently on a 4 game winning streak including a huge come from behind 7-6 W over the Royals last night. With the division starting to get better, the Chi Sox have upped their play to counter the Twins and Tigers.

2.) Tampa Bay Rays (55-35)- The Rays fall off the top after getting swept by the Yankees. It looked like they couldn't be stopped after the sweep of the Red Sox, but since then they've looked mediocre at best. I'm still not worried about this team and in the end I think they are still gonna make the playoffs, but they can't afford to get complacent with the defending champs and the red hot Yanks in their rear view mirror.

3.) Chicago Cubs (55-37)- The Cubs continue to dominate the National League and it's not really even close between them and the next best teams (Brewers/Cardinals). It looked like they were going to have some major trouble in their quest to win the NL Central after Milwaukee picked up CC Sabathia. So what do the North Siders do? They go and pick up an equally dominant starter in Rich Harden. The fragile flame thrower will be a huge assett for the Cubs down the stretch if he can stay healthy. It looks like Carlos Zambrano has put his injury issues behind him as he's allowed just 1 run in each of last two starts after coming off the DL last week.

4.) LA Angels of Anaheim (54-37)- The Angels are still rolling along under the radar, but they could be in the public eye more if they could start putting a winning streak together. They're allowing the A's to stay right behind them because they can't put any kind of momentum together. They just dropped their past 2 to the Rangers both by 1 run. As good as the pitching has been, the offense has dissapointed big time. Poor Jered Weaver has gotten robbed of wins in his last 2 starts, pitching a 6 inning no hitter last week and giving up just 1 ER yesterday...both Angels losses. In the long run, I think they'll be alright considering the A's just gave up their best pitcher, but don't sleep on the high octane Rangers.

5.) Boston Red Sox (55-39)- It looked like the Red Sox were just about to go into tailspin mode after dropping 7 of 9 coming into this week, but they've bounced back in a big way with a sweep over the smokin' Twins. Tommorow they welcome back a fresh face in Clay Bucholtz. He'll be facing the team he no-hit last year, the Baltimore Orioles. This team is going to be scary once again when David Ortiz comes back.

6.) Milwaukee Brewers (50-41)- Milwaukee made the first big splash of trading period with their recent acquisition of CC "The Hamburglar" Sabathia. He looked very good in his first start with the cheese heads and should be a big piece of the puzzle for the Brewers if they end up going deep into the playoffs. He becomes a part of the 3 headed monster on the pitching staff with Ben Sheets and Manny Parra and in a playoff series, they are going to be quite a handful for their opponents.

7.) Minnesota Twins (51-41)- After getting swept by the Red Sox, the Twinkies just stuck a dagger in the heart of my Tigers with an 11th inning Homer off the bat of Justin Morneau. Big Poppa Canada went 5 for 5 in the game and has been on a tear lately with 11 hits in his last 4 games including 2 bombs. Like I said earlier, he should be starting in the All-star game and I hope he gets a slot in the Home Run Derby. Another plus for the Twins is the impending return of Francisco Liriano. He's been tearing up Triple A pitching and give a boost to a weak Twins pitching staff in need some fire for the second half.

8.) St. Louis Cardinals (51-42)- The Cards have yet to win a series this month after dropping two straight to the Phillies. They're still in the race in the NL Central, but for how long? If the red birds are serious about making the playoffs, they need to make a move. I suggest snagging AJ Burnett from the Blue Jays. As they say, birds of a feather flock together. I know it'd be kind of reactionary, but at this point, they are definitely trailing the Brewers and the Cubs in the talent department and with Mark Mulder and Chris Carpenter doubtfully making an impact this year, it's going to be a necessity to add another arm if they don't want to get left by the wayside.

9.) New York Yankees (49-42)- Just when it looked like the Yankees were dead, they go and sweep the team with the best record in baseball. They're on a 4 game win streak and will look to make it 5 in a row against the hapless Pirates in a make-up game tonight. It's the last interleague play game of the year and I'd love to make the 3 hour trip down to PNC park to see it, but alas I've got work tonight. Has anyone ever been to the ballpark in Pittsburgh? I heard it's absolutely beautiful. Back to the Yanks, it's kind of surprising to see them only get 3 players into the All-star game considering it's at their park, but the quality of the trio (A Rod, Jeter, and Rivera) is hard to surpass. They combine for 30 appearances all time in the All-star game...that's more than the total of the rest of the AL Pitching Roster (11 players).

10.) Philadelphia Phillies (50-43)- The Phillies sneak back into the poll after a 2 game win streak. Chase Utley is back on top of the baseball world with 25 HR. I think it's safe to say he's the front runner for the NL MVP. Amazingly, they're still barely hanging on in the NL East after the Mets recent surge to crawl to within a game and a half in the division. They've gotta pick up the pace and a perfect way to do it is with a 3 game home sweep over somehow also division leading Arizona Diamondbacks (44-45) this weekend.

Also Receiving Votes: NY Mets, Oakland A's, Texas Rangers, Detroit Tigers

Don't Get Hosed

Tennis Wasn't Invented Yesterday....

While my venerable colleague Young Swole might have a man-crush on Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer that's even bigger than Serena Williams' booty, he and others might be surprised to find out that there was such a thing as tennis before 2003. While many people, from the Swolemeister to Brad "I love myself more than anyone" Gilbert, were quick to annoint the Federer/Nadal Wimbledon final the Greatest Match of All Time...that simply is not the case. And even if it does somehow prove to be, saying so is reactionary at best, and fails to respect the illustrious history of this gentlemans game, at worst.

It's true that Federer has dominated the ATP for the past 232 weeks or so, but I would make the case that he has done so without a true rival to challenge him. Sure, Nadal won one Slam final against Roger the Great, but until last year he was little more than a clay-court specialist, the next Gustavo Kuerten, if you will. So while so many out there are eager to annoint him "The Greatest Player of All Time," I don't think that is the case. True champions become known as such because they elevate their game to a new level in the face of equally talented competition. Let's look at a few examples...

-Pete Sampras & Andre Agassi
Swole would make you think that the game has been dominated by one-dimensional players...hard servers with few other weapons. But that is simply not the case. Unless your memory has been burned by Amy Winehouse-esque drug use, you shouldn't have forgotten these two giants of the game just yet. Sampras might have had the best serve of all time (you don't get the nickname "Pistol Pete" for your Bukakke skills) but he could also play at the net and volley like no other. And as any true tennis afficionado knows, serve-and-volley is the purest playing strategy in the game. Little known fact: Sampras did all this with a racquet measuring only 85 sq/in, 10 less than any racquet used by today's players, and it was strung tighter than a...well there's too many good jokes there. Let's just say it was strung hella tight. And that is why Agassi was a supreme foil to the King of Swing...he had the best groundstrokes of his era. He was one of the only players in history who you could sense was MORE confident when returning serve than serving. Sampras and Agassi truly defined the game from the mid-90's to early 00's. Oh by the way....Agassi is the only man to win the "Golden Slam," by winning every Grand Slam tournament and an Olympic Gold medal in his career. (The only woman to do so just happens to be his wife Stefi Graf, a pretty good player you also might have heard of).

And let's not forget the epic matches these guys provided. Sampras' final match, the '01 U.S. Open final, was one of the most epic and emotional matches of all time. It was the final Grand Slam title won by the man who has won more than any other. There wasn't a single break of serve in any of the five sets.

What about Sampras v. Roddick in the semi's of the same tournament?
Agassi winning the Australian Open when he had been all but retired by the media and so-called tennis "experts?"
Sampras, unable to keep his lunch in his stomach due to the flu, yaking all over the court and STILL defeating Alex Corretja?

-Bjorn Borg & John McEnroe
The definative rivalry of the 1980's. Borg was an appropriate name for the big Swede. His approach to the game was just like the Star Trek machine: cold, methodical, and ruthless. He won five French Opens and five Wimbledons, an amazing feat when you consider the stark contrasts between clay and grass. He was only stopped from winning a sixth Wimbledon by the emergence of a complete contrast in styles: John McEnroe. The Brat was part of a new era of athletes, who lived their lives off the court with as much flash and noise as they did on it. Their 1981 Wimbledon final signaled the end of Borg's dominance and the dawn of a new era in tennis.









-Rod Laver & John Newcombe
This is going way back to dudes who played with wooden racquets. However, Laver won all four Grand Slams multiple times, once winning all four in a calendar year. His 11 Slam titles were a record for thirty years until Sampras topped the number. If you ever are lucky enough to catch footage of his game do not pass up the opportunity to watch the man who has what is universally agreed to be the most complete and technically flawless game in history. His longtime foe Newcombe was no slouch either, winning seven Slam's of his own (although, like Sampras, never capturing a French title). He, like Sampras, probably never won at Roland Garros because his game revolved around a huge serve and then volleying, which is difficult to do effectively on slow-bouncing clay. However, on hard surface and grass his cannon of an arm allowed him to hit second-serve aces with amazing regularity. The rivalry between these two was the first premeir rivalry of the Grand Slam Era.




And anyone thinking that these are the only great matchups or players, or that I've had to reach back to the 70's for examples, is sorely mistaken. Tennis has never been devoid of great champions.



-Gustavo Kuerten, who dominated the clay courts in the earlier part of this decade similar to the way Nadal now does.






-The early career of Vitas Gerulaitis, who never reached his full potential but could cover the court like no other.
-Ivan Lendl, the most perfectly-conditioned player ever to roam the baseline.
-Richard Kreijeck winning the '96 Wimbledon title with his arm held on by duct tape.
-Goran Ivanisevic winning Wimbledon in '01 as a freakin' wild card.
-People sometimes forget, but Lleyton Hewitt was supposed to be the next unstoppable champion around 2001-02, until he lost his mind on the court (but found it off the court, when he ditched ugly-ass Kim Clijsters).
-A fella named Arthur Ashe.
-Boris Becker, who won six Grand Slams and was the youngest-ever Wimbledon champ at age 17!
-Mats Wilander, another '80s powerhouse with 7 Slam Titles to his name.
-Jim Courier and Jimmy Connors, two of the most colorful and successful American men ever to play the sport.

While I could type till my fingers fall off about epic matches, I've already mentioned a few (Borg/McEnroe at '81 Wimbledon, Sampras/Agassi at '01 US Open, etc.), I will give you two of my all time favorites that everyone who calls himself a tennis fan must see:
-Andy Roddick v. Younes El Aynaoui at the 2003 Aussie Open (Roddick wins 5th set 21-19, no typo)
-Jimmy Connors v. Aaron Krickstein at the 1991 U.S. Open. Connors, at the ripe age of 39, came back from two sets down against the much younger Krickstein to win. Some of the insults he screams at the chair umpire would make McEnroe blush.

So for everyone so eager to get swept up by the Nadal bandwagon, first rub your ass because you probably just fell off of Federer's, then realize you are not seeing the greatest players ever. Someone has to win these tournaments, and these guys just happen to be the best players around right now. There are always two finalists and there is always a winner. And there always will be.

In the Midst of Greatness

A couple of weeks ago, ESPN sportswriter Bill Simmons wrote a piece basically saying that the sport of tennis is dead (http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3446552). He argued that the sport is no longer fun to watch, that there are no players who can compete with the greats of yesterday and that the rules and scoring of the sport were beyond arcane. To him, it is more exciting to watch an episode of "A shot at love with Tila Tequila (who is ugly as shit btw)" than it is to watch a tennis match.

Well as a fan of tennis and a witness to today's men's final at Wimbledon, I can happily say that Bill Simmons is a complete idiot.

I've seen a lot of great sports moments in my life time. I remember Tiger's first win at the Masters, all the great Michael Jordan moments, Michael Johnson at the 1996 Olympics and last year's Super Bowl. I can now add today's match between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal to the list. What I saw was two of the greatest tennis players of all time playing an epic 5 set match to the best of their abilities. There was action, there was drama, there was everything you could ever ask for in a sporting event. At times it seemed as if both players were so evenly matched that the match would continue on forever. There were no breaks of serve for over 40 games of tennis despite outrageous shotmaking from both players. Even when Roger Federer faced break and match points, he somehow found a way to continue on and force a final 5th set. And as the light faded at Wimbledon and Nadal finally broke Federer's serve and held on for the win, I knew I had witnessed greatness. In the awards ceremony, it was obvious how physically and emotionally spent both competitors were from the match. It was completely inarguable that both men had given all they could to try and win the match.

As the hours have passed since Nadal finally won the match, I've been thinking about how much tennis has going for it, and how stupid America is for ignoring such an exciting sport. Just in the past 2 days we've seen Americans Venus and Serena Williams vie for the women's title, and then today we saw possibly the greatest player of all time defeated by possibly the greatest clay court player of all time on his best surface. We've seen other incredible matches this year already, including Lleyton Hewitt against Marcos Baghdatis that lasted until 5am in the morning in Australia. The quality of play has also risen to a height not seen in a long time. For many years, losers who could simply serve hard had the rule of the game, which eliminated rallies from the game and basically made it a contest to see who could serve it hardest. Now we have players with vastly different styles in Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal forging the greatest rivalry in the sport since McEnroe and Borg in the 80's. There are also many great young players coming into the game, such as Novak Djokovic and Gael Monfils, who have the talent to challenge the top two titans of men's tennis.

Women's tennis has also become much more exciting in recent years. We have amazing competitors in Venus and Serena Williams, brilliant young players rising through the ranks, and wide-open grand slam fields that promise tons of excitement and unpredictability at every tournament. It also doesn't hurt that so many of the women's tennis players are banging hot. I personally think Maria Sharapova isn't all that and a bag of chips, but i'm not booing those legs at all. As my boy El Drunko used to say, "She could wrap those things around me twice." Other babes in the women's ranks include Nicole Vaidisova, Maria Kirilenko, Elena Vesnina and Ashley Harkleroad, who is gonna get naked in Playboy next month which makes her even more awesome. So even if you think women's tennis blows, you should still watch just for aesthetic quality alone. First of all, if you turn off hot babes playing sports that is wild homo. And at GDB, we are No Homo. Tennis also has no fat chicks.

At the completion of the match, we could hear John McEnroe exalting Nadal and Federer for their performances as well as basically pleading with America to pay more attention to such an exciting sports. Unfortunately, a lot of America has some sport of phobia towards more international sports. We shun soccer despite its worldwide popularity and excitement (See Euro 2008), and we shun tennis because it is somehow boring and predictable and is being dominated by Non-Americans. Well if today's match was boring and predictable, then sign me up for that. And if people are scared to root for foreign athletes then its time to grow the fuck up and realize that the sporting universe does not revolve around America. I feel bad for Joe Sports Fan who decided to watch a meaningless July baseball game, or a golf tournament without Tiger Woods and missed today's classic battle. For everyone who missed today's match because they feel tennis is past its prime, you took a biiiiiiiiig L today.

And Bill Simmons. If you can still say tennis is boring and antiquated after today's events, then you need to hang up your title as a sports guy, because you obviously missed the entire point of competition and sport when it being explained to you. But since you were probably busy jerking off instead to busted Asian whores on "A Shot at Love" anyway, we should probably take your opinion with guarded caution as it is.

Best Tennis Commercial Ever

In honor of Roger Federer's rampage to another Wimbeldon Title (a victory would make it 6 in a row) here's a commercial that will make even the biggest Tennis haters excited for some hard core volleying. It's Federer vs. Murray from Flight of the Conchords (A must see). Enjoy!!!!

Truth Hurts...But Honesty Is The Best Policy

MLB Power Poll

Interleague play was just what the doctor ordered. I felt that this year's matchups were the best as a whole in several seasons. One thing that I find interesting is that from a fantasy and All-star perspective, the NL dominates. Clearly, the premier players in the game right now are located in the Senior Circuit. However, you've gotta believe that the team to beat in the All-star game is the AL. They completely dominated in interleague play and top to bottom the league is much stronger overall. This is especially apparent in this week's Power Poll.

1.) Tampa Bay Rays (51-32)- A new number 1 graces our presence. They are the 5th individual team to take over the Numba One Spot since the start of the poll and the third different club in three weeks to be on top. In one of the most hyped series of the year, the Rays have dominated the Red Sox in 2 straight to take a 2.5 game lead in the AL East. It's going to be a fight between Scott Kazmir (7-3, 2.23 ERA, 72 K's in 11 starts this year) and the ace of the next team for the AL Starting Pitcher in the All-Star game in my opinion.

2.) LA Angels (50-34)- This is probably the most balanced team in baseball at this point. They've got depth like nobody's business, especially in the Rotation and the Outfield. That's why I think the Angels are poised to make a deep run in the playoffs because they won't get tired in a 7 game series. This could be the best rotation in baseball right now, with three possible 20 game winners on the roster (Swervin Ervin Santana and Joe Saunders already have a combined 20 between them) led by the always swole John Lackey, the league leader in ERA at 1.44 and sporting a 6-1 record on the season. I didn't even mention young Jered Weaver who took that bizzare L against the Dodgers last week even though he no-hit them.

3.) Chicago White Sox (48-35)- This marks the peak for the Chi Sox and the first time they've ever been above their cross-town rivals. Well this was a long time coming, especially after they just swept the Cubbies this weekend and are now on a 6 game winning streak. The White Sox are the anti-Cubs. They don't have the big names, but they squeeze every ounce of talent out of their players. For as insane as Ozzy Guillen can be sometimes, he's a genius manager and really knows how to motivate his players. Unfortuantely, he can't let his team slack at all as the Twins and Tigers are going to make things interesting all year long.

4.) Chicago Cubs (50-34)- That last statement wasn't meant to be too much of a jab on the Cubs. They aren't wasting their talent by any means, but they are paying a lot more for their players and therefore are expected to always perform well. The good news for the North-siders is that they're about to welcome back arguably their two biggest names. Carlos Zambrano is expected to come off the DL to take the hill in a huge series against the Cardinals on Friday and Alfonso Soriano shouldn't be out too much longer after that. Regardless, the Cubs should be able to breath a litte as they've got three series against pathetic teams over the next two weeks (Reds and Giants).

5.) Boston Red Sox (50-36)- Boston is on a 4 game losing streak, but all of those losses have been close. 3 were by just one run and they are playing the raging Rays so they can't be too dissapointed with themselves. On the other hand, Tampa is starting to create a little distance and this should be a minor concern. I think Boston will be alright in the end, but they don't want to get too complacent. They've gotta be thankful for the resurgent JD Drew who has staved off injury to become the biggest producer in the majors over the last month (12 HR, 27 RBI since the beggining of June).

6.) Minnesota Twins (47-38)- The Twins have been the hottest team in baseball for about 2 weeks now and don't show any signs of letting up. Just when it looked like the Tigers were back on track, the Twinkies pounded them two days in a row. It's really kind of a mystery how this team has plowed their way into the playoff hunt. They lost their best two players (Johan Santana and Torii Hunter) and yet are stronger than ever. Their pitching really isn't that impressive and they've been doing it without Francisco Liriano. Unfortunately for Minnesota they haven't been able to gain any ground on the White Sox who refuse to lose. Something has to give eventually.

7.) St. Louis Cardinals (48-37)- The Cards finally got revenge on the Royals by taking two of three from them last week to polish off their interleague play schedule. They should be happy to be back playing in the Senior Circuit because they didn't really perform up to snuff against the AL (7-8). After they're done with the Mets in a couple days, their biggest rivalry heats up again against the Cubs. This time, they're in the Lou looking to chip away more at the 2.5game divisional defecit.

8.) Milwaukee Brewers (45-38)- The Brew Crew represents the final NL team this week. There's only three and they're all from the Central. The East and West have both been pathetic so I can't justify giving any of those teams a spot. Milwaukee isn't playing inspired baseball right now and need to step it up if they want to stay in the highly competitive divisional race. They were hotter than any other team in the NL a week ago, but haven't taken advantage of other team's follies. With the talent on that team, there's no excuse for them not to contend till the end.

9.) Oakland Athletics (45-38)- The A's have been holding steady playing .500 ball over their last 10, yet they're still somehow just 4.5 back of the Angels. With the second lowest payroll in the game, it's a wonder that they're in the position they are right now. A lot of the success can be attributed to Rich Harden who's finally been able to keep it together and stay healthy for basically the whole year. He has yet to lose (5-0) and sports a 2.25 era. He's still behind his teammate Justin Duchscherer (1.91), but he's pitching as well as anyone in baseball right now.

10.) New York Yankees (44-40)- The Yanks were on a strong run for awhile, but this week they've taken a step backward. They've lost 3 in a row and scored just 4 runs during that span against sub-par pitching tossed out by the Rangers and Mets. It's terrible timing too as they've got a ridiculously hard divisional schedule coming up over the next week at Yankee Stadium against the Rays and Red Sox. Will they survive and drop further behind the leaders in the AL East?

Also Receiving Votes: Philadelphia Phillies, Texas Rangers, Detroit Tigers, Florida Marlins

The Dwight Knight

I couldn't resist putting this video on. It combines two of my current favorites. The Office is one of the most hilarious and innovative shows on television, while the Dark Knight is definitely my most anticipated summer blockbuster in quite a while. Put the two together, and you get pure genius. Bottom line: Don't fuck with Dwight.

R.I.P. UGA VI - by Dr. Burns

On Saturday Young Swole and I bid farewell to Uga VI, the University of Georgia's English bulldog mascot, who died of heart failure at his home in Savannah. Let us all take a minute to pay our respects and look back on the career of this damn fine dawg:
- In 2007, Uga VI became the winningest mascot in UGA school history with a record of 87-27. The mark surpassed that of Uga IV, who ended his career with a record of 77-24-4.
- During Uga VI's reign, the Dawgs captured the 2002 and 2005 SEC championships.
- Georgia has been to a bowl game each of Uga VI's eight seasons as mascot, and won six of the bowl games in that span.
- Both a local and national celebrity, Uga VI was featured in Sports Illustrated, a 2001 Emmy-winning episode of Turner South's Liars and Legends, has been a part of a college football segment on NBC Nightly News, and was the special guest at a reception for the Georgia Congressmen in Washington D.C. in 2002.

Uga VI will be buried in a marble vault in the southwest corner of Sanford Stadium with his ancestors this week. His owner said Saturday that the dynasty's "lineage is secure" and a successor will be announced soon. In the meantime, let all the Bulldawg faithful rally behind the men who wear the red and black with two words--two simple words that express the sentiments of the entire Bulldawg Nation--GO DAWGS!

Barack Obama... Just Another Chump

Swole was chilling at the Taco Stand last night before going to the America Party at JR's Bait Shack. Between watching ex-Tiger Jair Jurrjens throw a three hitter against the Jays and drowning brew after delicious brew, I caught a MSNBC feed which showed Barack Obama campaigning together with Hillary Clinton. Things are cool between them now, Hillary saying Obama is amazing and the greatest politician ever, Obama saying Hillary is an incredible woman and is very thankful for her support of him. There's even rumors that Obama may ask Hillary to be his Vice President, creating a "dream team" Democratic ticket for this fall's election.

Now wait a damn second.

Am I the only one who sees this as one of the most hypocritical political actions in recent memory?? I thought that Obama was all about "change" and now he's uniting with the old guard that he so successfully ran against. Are Obama supporters so nieve and blind that they can't see through this? Basically the only reason we even know who Barack Obama is today is that he fought against a political aristocracy that has been running this country for nearly two decades and which had disenfranchised millions of Americans with their greed, corruption and failure. He has become one of the most popular American politics thanks to a manufactured impression that he actually cares for the people who are going to vote for him and because he's not going to play into all the bullshit that Washington DC craps out.

Like many Americans disgusted with our political situation, I drank the Kool-Aid. Obama seemed believable and trustworthy moreso than Hillary Clinton or John McCain, and with his campaign for "change" so relentlessly conveyed to our nation it actually seemed that maybe in fact this was the brash new candidate that we needed to finally push the Bush and Clinton cartel out of our lives for good. Obama maintained his mantra and convictions in the midst of all sort of attacks from all sides such as the Jeremiah Wright fiasco, campaign financing and questions of leadership experience. When he finally received the democratic nomination for president it seemed like there had been a sea change in American politics. Our country had spoken and it had said that we demanded a candidate who would not repeat all the garbage of the last 20 years, but instead would bring a new vision to our presidency that was sorely lacking.

So now I look on the news and see this same Barack Obama, the man all about change and the new way of doing politics, teaming up with Hillary Clinton and basically making his whole campaign platform obsolete. If he had been true to his word, Obama wouldn't have needed Hillary's supports to aid in his campaign. If he had really believed in the message he has been delivering since the Iowa Primary, then it would have given him the faith that the American public would make him our next president despite earning the votes of the sore losers that didn't get their way when Hillary lost to him. Instead of being what he said he was, a candidate of change, Obama has finally shown his true colors. He really is nothing more than a new pretty face that did a great job of convincing American voters to support a candidate that will do the same things that has been done in the past, and has made so many in our country hate the political industry. Every Obama supporter got a slap in the face from a man they believed in because he really is no different than every grimeball politician that he seemed to try and be distant from. Barack Obama is nothing more than a hapless man that will abuse the American public and political process to ensure success and to continue a status quo in our government that has made our country fall far behind the rest of the world.

I should have realized it was too good to be true when i heard Obama speaking about all the changes he was going to make. I should have known that once Hillary finally lost that the two would probably unite in one form of another. I guess I made the mistake of trusting a politician, which is about as useful as trusting a used-car salesman. And maybe I feel like the idiot now for actually having hope in someone to emerge from the broken system that has become American politics, but i will tell you what. When Obama gets elected president, and becomes nothing more than the same politician that all his supporters had grown to hate so much, I'll be the one who will be there laughing at you for not realizing all this shit had happened right before your eyes and that you were too stupid to think Barack Obama was anything more than a hustler of your idealism.

Wimbledon 2008: What to Watch For

Wimbledon has been underway for nearly a week now and the Sweet 16 has almost been set. So far we've seen a number of big-time early upsets on both sides. Australian Open winner Novak Djokovic (3) and 5th Seeded Spaniard David Ferrer took L's over the past couple of days and Americans James Blake (9) and Andy Roddick (6) were both second round victims. The US men can't be taken seriously anymore as legit threats in majors as they both seem to bow out quickly and quietly almost everytime. The Women's half has seen more big names fall earlier than expected. Top Seeded Ana Ivanovic and 3rd seeded Maria Sharapova both failed to reach the fourth round thereby eliminating a large chunk of the male audience. This doesn't mean that there's nothing to watch. Far from it. Whereas the French Open didn't live up to the high ratings that world tennis officials hoped for after a highly entertaining Aussie Open, Wimbledon still has many lines to draw in the casual tennis fan.

Men's Bracket

-World #1 Roger Federer aims for his 6th straight Wimbledon singles title. That mark would help him pass Bjorn Borg's streak of All England Lawn Championships. His next matchup won't be easy though as he's got a date with the feisty Aussie Lleyton Hewitt (20). He's bound to bring his intimidating body-building sister with him for moral support.

-Last year's runner-up and 2008 French Open Champ Raffy Nadal (2) is looking to win his first Wimbledon title, but it will be a very difficult task as he will likely have all ranked opponents from here on out. His possible next round opponent Mikhail Youzhny (17) is definitely a sleeper to come out of this semi.

-Young Swole's boy Marcos Baghdatis from the land of Cyprus is the 10th ranked player in the world and he typically balls it up on grass. As the highest seeded player in his quadrant, he's got a great shot to make it to the final 4.

-The last Semi is extremely difficult to predict as most of the top-seeds have already taken a fall. I think the winner between Roddick raider Janko Tipsaravic (the Serbian had an epic match with Federer at the 08 Aussie Open) and German Juggernaut and Blake beater Rainier "Wolfcastle" Schuettler will be the man that emerges from this quad.

Women's Bracket

-On top of being smokin' hot, 18th ranked Nicole Vaidisova is also extremely frisky on the tennis court. The Russian will matchup with fellow countrywoman and equally bangin' Anna Chakvetadze (8). With Ivanovic out, it's one of these ladies to lose in this semi.

-#6 Serena Williams has to be the favorite in the second quadrant. She's always a monster in England and she has yet to drop a set yet this year.

-The Russians are well represented in the Sweet 16 and Elena Dementieva may be the best of the bunch. The 5th seeded woman in the world hasn't exactly blown away the competition at Wimbledon, but her quadrant isn't really the most challenging.

-The bottom semi is arguably the most intriguing. Two big names are on a crash course for a quarterfinal throwdown. #2 Jelena Jankovic may be a butterface, but her game is no joke. She's got one of the most aggressive serves in all of tennis and looks like the heavyweight right now. She's gotta deal with the beast known as Venus Williams (7) though and it won't be a cake walk by any means. Venus has won 4 Wimbledons and is the current defending champ. This could be the match of the tournament if it pans out.

Swole and I will try to keep everyone posted as the Bracket continues to evolve.

Stephen A. Smith Heckled in the 2008 NBA Draft

This video is the only recap you need of the 2008 NBA Draft. Wait till Kevin Love comes on and you'll understand the cheez doodle joke.

A Very Important Health-Related Article Every Woman Should Read

It can be found here: http://www.murdzplace.com/CNN.htm

But because of it's vital significance and importance, I will reproduce it fully:

Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women

Thursday, October 2, 2003 Posted: 9:19 AM EDT (1319 GMT)

(AP) -- Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found.

Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two.

In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurance of breast cancer than those who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not regularly perform.

"I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a healthy act," said Dr. A.J. Kramer of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. "I am surprised by these findings, but am also excited that the researchers may have discovered a relatively easy way to lower the occurance of breast cancer in women."

The University researchers stressed that, though breast cancer is relatively uncommon, any steps taken to reduce the risk would be a wise decision.

"Only with regular occurance will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."

The study is reported in Friday's Journal of Medical Research.

In 1991, 43,582 women died of breast cancer, as reported by the National Cancer Institute.

Dr. Len Lictepeen, deputy chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society, said women should not overlook or "play down" these findings.

"This will hopefully change women's practice and patterns, resulting in a severe drop in the future number of cases," Lictepeen said.

Sooner said the research shows no increase in the risk of breast cancer in those who are, for whatever reason, not able to fellate regularly.

"There's definitely fertile ground for more research. Many have stepped forward to volunteer for related research now in the planning stages," he said.

Almost every woman is, at some point, going to perform the act of fellatio, but it is the frequency at which this event occurs that makes the difference, say researchers. Also key seems to be the protein and enzyme count in the semen, but researchers are again waiting for more test data.

The reasearch consisted of two groups, 6,246 women ages 25 to 45 who had performed fellatio and swallowed on a regular basis over the past five to ten years, and 9,728 women who had not or did not swallow. The group of women who had performed and swallowed had a breast cancer rate of 1.9 percent and the group who had not had a breast cancer rate of 10.4 percent.

"The findings do suggest that there are other causes for breast cancer besides the absence of regular fellatio," Shafteer said. "It's a cause, not THE cause."

MLB Power Poll

Lotttttta action this week. After a stagnant Power Poll in the last edition, there were plenty of movers and shakers thit time around, especially in the bottom of half of the poll. While the top 3 look have been safe lately, there are a few teams in the middle that are making some real noise in hopes of knocking the big dogs off of their perches. Keep an eye out over the next couple of weeks because there could be trouble brewing for baseball's elite.

1.) LA Angels (48-31)- The Angels finally take over the top spot to become the fourth team to hold the distinction in the poll. There's very little separation between the top 3 clubs, but the Halos get the edge by virtue of their superior play over the past week. They swept the suddenly chilly Phils and won their most recent series against the Nats. Next up is the battle of LA as the Angels visit the Dodgers.

2.) Boston Red Sox (49-32)- Boston was looking very shaky up until Monday. Since the beginning of the week, they've won 3 of 4. Dice K is back, but he looked miserable in his last start lasting 1 IP and giving up 7 runs. Ouch. He'll look to rebound against Houston tommorow. The Red Sox still hold the best record at home in all of baseball, but they won't be seeing Fenway for a longggg time. They embark on their longest road stretch so far this year as they play their next 10 games away from Boston.

3.) Chicago Cubs (49-30)- The Cubs were dangerously close to losing their top spot last week after getting swept by the Rays last week, but they followed that with a sweep of their own over their cross-town rivals, so I thought maybe they'd righted the ship. Now they've lost 2 of 3 to the pathetically mediocre Orioles. I can't in good standing keep them on top any longer. The NL is clearly the weaker league right now and therefore the North siders take a tumble.

4.) Tampa Bay Rays (47-31)- The Rays have stormed back into the spotlight with wins in 7 of their last 9 games including two sweeps. Tampa's offense really sparked this week against Florida scoring 27 runs in three games. Today they also received a beautiful performance from Matt Garza who has finally started to pan out for Tampa. He tossed a one hit gem to shut down the Marlins. Get ready for a heavy weight matchup in the Sunshine state early next week as Boston comes to Tampa for a 3game set.

5.) St. Louis Cardinals (45-35)- Back to the NL where the Red Birds represent the number 2 team from the senior circuit. St. Louis has actually been outplayed by Milwaukee over the past couple of weeks, but with the much welcome return of Albert Pujols (4 for 4 against the Tigers today), the Cards can't be denied the 5 hole. They'll have to bring the heat in their next series against KC. The Royals swept them last week.

6.) Milwaukee Brewers (43-35)- That's right, the top 3 teams in the National League are all represented by NL Central teams. It shouldn't really surprise anyone as the division is the best and most competitive in all of baseball. The hottest team in the league has to be the Brew Crew, who have only dropped two contests in their last 10 games. Milwaukee's pitching staff looked pretty bleak after Yovanni Gallardo was lost for the year with a leg injury, but Manny Parra has stepped up to pitch respectably and Ben Sheets continues to dazzle the competition and the roster actually looks like it can hang with the Brewers high-octane offense.

7.) New York Yankees (42-36)- The Central is clearly a cut above the other divisions in the NL, but in the AL it's all about the East. Did you notice that the only team not from these two divisions in the top 7 is the Angels. Interesting. The Yankees are playing inspired ball lately, but they can't really gain any ground on the rest of the division because of how well the Red Sox and Rays are playing. They should be able to find some extra motivation over the next week as two of their series are against their two biggest rivals (Mets and Bo Sox).

8.) Minnesota Twins (43-36)- The only team hotter than the Brewers are the Twins. They've won 9 in a row and are right on the heels of Chicago for the AL Central lead. It appeared that the White Sox would never be toppled from atop their mountain, but things have changed with the sudden power surge in Minnesota. They've scored 57 runs during their win streak. The M brothers have been outstanding lately with Joe Mauer looking for a batting crown and Justin Morneau trying to top the league in RBI.

9.) Chicago White Sox (43-35)- The Chi Sox were able to squeak out a win today to hold their razor thin division lead over Minny. That lead could be non-existant next week because they've got a date with the Cubbies starting tommorrow. The one thing going for the White Sox is that they're home for their next 10 contests where they're 24-11 on the season.

10.) Philadelphia Phillies (43-36)- The Philles are very very lucky to hang onto the last spot in this poll. They've looked like absolute garbage lately (2-8 in their last 10). Sure they lead the NL East, but that's the same as the D-backs topping the NL West. Both divisions blow. It's kind of ridiculous. Most people thought that the East would be the dominant division not only in the NL, but possibly all of baseball. Instead the Mets and Braves have greatly underachieved and the Phillies are looking more like pretenders instead of contenders.

Also Receiving Votes: Oakland A's, Florida Marlins, Arizona Diamondbacks, Texas Rangers