Eagle and Dragon

I usually try to confine the political aspect of my posts to ones that are a direct commentary of the ongoing Presidential election. However, ever since it was announced that Beijing would be hosting the 2008 Olympics, I have made my displeasure known to many friends and acquaintances. So now that concerns over The Games taking place in Communist China have become a national concern all of the sudden, I guess it is appropriate to comment on why this is such a terrible idea right here on GDB.

(And go ahead, China, censor me and ban GDB from your country! We still have millions and millions of loyal fans who will continue to support us)

-The communist regime running China has committed atrocities as heinous as those in Darfur, Somalia, The Balkans, Iraq, etc. If force is appropriate there, something more serious should be done in the wake of what has been decades of ongoing oppression of numerous sub-sets of the Chinese population. You name it, the Chinese government hates it: nationalistic Tibetans, Taiwanese, Christians, Muslims, and the list goes on. And we know what they do to people who they don't like, it has been broadcast time and again on our own national television networks.

-China, and to a lesser extent, Russia, repeatedly oppose the U.S., U.K., France, Germany, Italy, Australia, The Netherlands, and every other freedom-loving civilization that is a member of the United Nations, by protecting belligerent nations like Iran and North Korea.

-Olympic facilities like the "Birds Nest" and Water Cube are being built by what amounts to modern-day slave labor. Everyone, including children, are being put to work for pennies on this amazing facilities that will be a positive representation and symbol for the country when broadcast over television, but few will know of the price paid for their construction.

-People and even cats are forcibly relocated to make room to these improvements and construction projects.

China, with its billion or so people and centuries of history, has a wealth of culture and knowledge to share with the world. But all of that is either tainted by the fact that it is propagated by a dangerous and ruthless government, or that it is hidden from view by that same government, which should prevent us from enjoying it. President Bush and other heads of state should not allow their attendance give credit or publicity to the government of the People's Republic of China until it actually becomes a republic of the people.

And if you don't want to hear it from me, just listen to Steven Spielberg...

UPDATE: 17 minutes after my original posting of this article, this became a drudgereport.com headline....CALLS MOUNT FOR OLYMPIC CEREMONY BOYCOTT. I knew some frenchman had said it, but when its the major Drudge headline, you know its tight.

Quick Fixes

Tonight, George W. Bush gave his last State of the Union address to the nation. His final report on the status of the country got me doing a little reflecting and thinking of my own. So many disconcerting events take place on a daily basis, and things seem to get worse every day.

So I asked myself "Is there any common denominator with any of these events?" Then it came to me- one man, the beacon of hope for our troubled times, has been out of our hearts and minds for too long. During his absence, the agents of terror and mayhem have run wild, sowing seeds of violence and immorality. So I ask you, Jack Bauer, to return to us. Restore credibility to the greatest facebook group of all times. Come back and start putting the world right, 24 hours at a time. Think of all the things you could fix:

-The complicated Presidential election season. Bauer could get off to a good start by bringing all the remaining Presidential candidates together for a single purpose: a cage fight to the death, last person who manages to stay alive while Bauer goes nuts will get the job. It will show who the true survivor really is. This should happen soon; if the survivor is badly wounded he (or she) will need time to recover. If they should happen to expire due to injuries sustained, Dennis Haysbert will take the job by default.

-Steroids in baseball. The Mitchell Report was not comprehensive because many suspected users and suppliers refused to talk to George Mitchell. Something tells me Bauer will be able to get the answers he seeks.

-The "Recession." Bauer will descend upon the nation's capitol to provide quick fixes to the government. He will freeze interest rates on mortgages effective immediately and until he says otherwise, increase protective tariffs for U.S. goods, convene a council of leading scholars from the Post-Keynesian School of Law and Economics to develop long-term goals, and start printing money with his own face on it. It will be more valuable than gold.

-Chinese Olympics. Not only are the athletes probably going to die from the sheer level of pollution in Beijing, but the communist slave drivers are using slave labor to try and get their city ready for this ludicrous display. Bauer will intercept the Olympic torch at some point along its path, and bring it to CTU Los Angeles, where the Olympics will be held instead. New events will include:

- "Avoid Bauer," where you have to make your way through the building in the dark while
Jack stalks you.
- "Who Can Hold Their Breath in a Room of Poison Gas the Longest?" Pretty self-
explanatory.
- "Who Is Brave Enough to Walk Into a Room of Plutonium First." Winner gets a billion
points, but will ultimately die.
- And finally, an event where contestants are told a secret, then judged on how long they can
keep it a secret from Jack.

-The Britney Spears Saga. Bauer will use some of the same rehabilitation techniques with Britney that he learned during his time in China. Maybe some of these same methods can be helpful for Jaimie Lynn and the parents, too. Jack also takes issue with the fact that Britney's father is an LSU fan. Jack likes U.C.L.A.

-The Writer's Strike. This is the reason he has been gone for so long, so Jack will have special Bauer-style justice to distribute to fix this problem. He will disband all television and only one channel will be broadcasted: The Jack Bauer Reality Network. All Jack, all the time.

It's got to be better than anything else going on these days...