Mid - January Observations

Busy times in sports lately, so its only natural that Young Swole makes some of his famous observations

- Congrats to the Steelers and Cardinals first off. All these announcers saying the Cardinals are a fluke need to get off of it. They have proven to have the best team in the NFC and are no doubt a worthy adversary to the Steelers. They have the best receiver in the NFC in Larry Fitz, and one of the most clutch quarterbacks in league history in Kurt Warner. Its funny how he is forgotten and everybody hypes up guys like Romo, Favre and the Mannings, while it can be argued that Warner has had a better career than all of them. If he wins the Super Bowl there is no doubt he is a hall of famer and will have passed all of the aforementioned in every important way.

- People need to lay off of Anquan Boldin. All of these clowns eager to sacrifice another black guy for his actions probably do not realize the course of events that even led up to Sunday's game. Boldin got a low-ball offer from the Cards this past offseason, reported anyway, nearly got decapitated but balled out all season anyway, then got injured and courageously came back to play last Sunday. Now, because he has one argument with his offensive coordinator ( an event that happens ALL THE DAMN TIME) he is perceived as yet another selfish black receiver who thinks about himself more than the team. Fuck that. Do your homework before you crucify another man. Boldin has always been a team player and has sacrificed his own health for the betterment of the team. He was only mad because he wanted to help the team, not because he was wanting to "get his".

- Onto basketball. It pains me to say this but the Oklahoma Thunder are going to be very good in the near future. They already have the best 2nd year player in Kevin Durant, and now have the best rookie in Russell Westbrook. Their record is still terrible, but this may let them luck into getting a Blake Griffin type player this fall. If the Thunder get a top 5 pick, they are going to be battling the Blazers at the top of the West in no time. It sure would have been nice to have Seattle and Portland in a heated rivalry, and as a Sonics fan i can say that no one deserves the future success of the Thunder (wtf) less than Clay Bennet and his city of dust lovers. I hope Durant and Westbrook leave town the first chance they get and that franchise folds.


- Aussie Open is the crunkness. Nothing beats watching tennis every night during the middle of January. If you can't appreciate the athleticism of these players than go kill yourself. It appears that the 2nd week of the tournament could go down as one of the best ever. 5 sick players are alive on the men's side (Fed, Nadal, Djok, Murray, Tsonga) and their quarterfinal/semifinal matchups are going to be incredible. Plus, darkhorses Marcos Baghdatis and Mardy Fish meet tonight in a crucial 3rd round matchup, and Federer still has to face the talented Marat Safin before he can even think of the other dudes out there. Incredible. The women's side may not be as exciting or aesthetically pleasing as last year (No Vaidisova or Kirilenko) but watch our for Caroline Wozniacki to make a big run. The top seeds have looked OK but not unbeatable, and young Weezy may be ready to go on a huge run. She has the talent, and Swole approves of her looks as well. Church.

- What an awesome start to conference play in college basketball. Every night seems to feature a slugfest between ACC and Big East teams. These two conferences are so far ahead of the others its laughable. Depending on how the brackets are divided up, i think its entirely possible that these 2 conferences could make up the entire Elite 8. With that said, here is Swole's 1st team all-americans to this point so far.

G - Jonny Flynn, Syracuse
G - Jeff Teague, Wake Forest
F - Gerald Henderson, Duke
F - Blake Griffin, Oklahoma
C - DeJuan Blair, Pitt

(Hansbrough lovers go fall off a cliff. He can't pass at all, has no post moves besides a flailing half hook shot, and travels nearly every time he has the ball. He gets by on effort and physicality, but he is not half the player Blair is, and i hope they match up at some point so that Hansbrough's soul gets taken from him in front of a nationwide audience)

There's a lot more going on that i will get to soon including: Football recruiting, the long wait to baseball season, the gayness of Winter X and more NBA analysis. Until then, peace out little clams.

Yawn... its Super Bowl time

Well here we are, finally a few hours away from the big game. Young Swole remembers the days when he'd be all amped up for this game, even if he didn't care about the teams. But this year, things are so uninteresting that he's bringing along climate homework, which actually means he cares about school-related matters on Super Bowl Sunday. Why is this game so wack and boring? Lets count a few ways:

1. Everyone hates the Pats. Not only do they always win, but they cheat to win and are referred to as deities all the while.

2. The team facing the Pats, who would usually inspire a great support for the underdog, are the New York Giants. Everyone hates New York fans. Between the Pats and Giants, choosing one to root for is like selecting between a Turd Sandwich or a Puke Reuben for your last meal.

3. These teams have already played each other. Maybe if we hadn't seen the Pats beat the Giants already we'd have more hope in Big Blue.

4. Even if the Giants do win the game, there will still be much more attention payed to how the Pats blew it. The excuses will be more numerous that the falling raindrops in a hurricane. So even if the Evil Pats win, you'll still have to hear all about them at the expense of the Giants

5. Do you realize that in the last football game to be played in 6 months, that we'll have to listen to Joe Buck give us opinion on the Pats greatness and spygate once again? Swole guarantees that this fucker will get on his soapbox long and hard about all the controversy swirling around the Pats, while at the same time forgetting to tell us important things actually happening in the game like player injuries or yards gained on a certain play.


So what do you do to make a terrible super bowl a little more enjoyable? We here at GDB have identified 5 possible events that could make this game much more exciting:

1. Randy Moss scores a touchdown and proceeds to moon Joe Buck, who will hopefully have a heart attack out of pure shock and disgust. In fact, as we remember, for 10's G's Randy Moss might even pull his dick out. This gets a no homo for sure, but if he whipped it out in Joe Buck's face then it would be totally acceptable.

2. Tom Brady gets hurt.

3. If the Pats lose, time how long it takes blowhards like Chris Berman or Shaun Salisbury to jump off the "Pats are the greatest team of all time" bandwagon.

4. Tom Petty lights up a giant spliff during his halftime performance, tells George Bush to go to fuck himself, and then rocks out "Last Dance with Mary Jane"

5. Hope against hope that somehow Fox split-screens the game with hard core nudity!


Well its about time for the Swole One to bounce out. Lets try to survive this game as best we can.