NBA All-Star Weekend Recap

The NBA's biggest weekend turned out to be mostly an embarrasment. If you missed it, consider yourself lucky. Here are some of the rare highlights, and myriad of lowlights that occurred over the weekend.

- Maybe the sound wasn't good, but that sure was a quiet group of 108,000 fans yesterday. Seriously Texas, show some damn emotion if you are going to sit there. Most people in the crowd were probably just watching the scoreboard anyway. Probably the only noise that I did hear during the game was the organist GOING TO TOWN in the first quarter. Every single possession featured a new song, without let-up. I think Jerrah Jones killed the organist himself because it went dead silent in the 2nd half, which turned out to be the only way i could keep watching the game.

- Lebron gets a lot of credit for being great with bad teammates, but NOBODY has it worse than Dwyane Wade. He gets forgotten to a certain degree because the Heat are so mediocre, but yesterday he proved that he is on Lebron's level (plus he already has a ring). If Wade gets any sort of players around him before his body wears down, he will do serious damage.

-The only way to make NBA Saturday Night interesting is if more of the big stars participate. The dunk contest is what it is because the greatest players made it special. Yeah Nate Robinson is a good dunker, but everyone wants to see Lebron, D Howard and other STARS competing. It would also help if they cut out some commercials. There is no rhythm to the events because every 5 minutes TNT has to show a Geico commercial.

-Paul Pierce is a good player, but he needs to check himself. Saying shit like he's one of the best shooters of all-time is dumb to begin with, but its even dumber when there is already a greater shooter on his own team. Ray Allen must have given the stink-eyes of all stink-eyes when he heard Pierce's victory speech. Truth should go back to flopping on drives to the hoop and pretending to show gang signs to boost his imagined street cred instead of staying he is an all-time great shooter.

-Even funnier than Pierce's boasts was Kenny Smith saying he was a top-10 Celtic of all time. Rightfully so, he got clowned by Ernie and the gang immediately. It takes hard work to say something dumber than my boy Chuckster, but Kenny outdid himself this time.

- Sadly, the most enlightening moment of the entire weekend when Mark Cuban pretty much guaranteed a lock-out after next year. I side with the players in the argument. Its not their fault the owners are dumb enough to give them so much money. Now its their responsibility to bear the "corrections" that need to take place? Bullshit. Maybe if teams didn't give fools like Samuel Dalembert 65 million dollar contracts, they wouldn't be losing money.

- Finally, the best moment of the weekend, by far, were Shakira's hips. In retrospect, I don't really care that Saturday night blew and a somnambulant crowd ruined a really good All-Star game, because I got to imagine the severe dicking I would give to Shakira. My god, that girl is BAD.