Saturday, February 2, 2008

straight off myspace

thanks to SJ for lurking so hard. click to enlarge

Radiohead - Arpeggi/Weird Fishes @ Jools Holland 2008

Radiohead on the BBC

last night Radiohead, Cat Power, and Feist graced the 200th episode of the Jools Holland show on the BBC, which is a late night show that is far edgier than anything we've got over here. And I say that with full knowledge of how dickish it is to be one of those elitists who say they only enjoy "foreign films" and listen to a victrola instead of "CDs". whatever, fuck those pricks. but this show is cool and it brings me to my point, which is that I think Radiohead is the greatest band of my generation.

Now this sort of thing is obviously purely subjective and arguing about who the greatest band of all time is is about as fun as finishing a dump and realizing that you have nothing to wipe with (the other day I seriously considered taking my sock off and using it). But for me, growing up listening to music during my formative years (90's thru today), Radiohead stands out in my mind. They came along during the grunge years with "Creep", a song i certainly could identify with as a gangly youngster ("i want you to notice/when im not around/you're so fucking special/i wish i was special").

Some bands got stuck in that era and never evolved (where are you now Bush....o yeah, fucking Gwen Stefani...respect), but Radiohead, like any great band made the music that they wanted to and didn't follow trends. They set them. And they have always been a thorn in the side of major record labels. Their recent release of In Rainbows online, for free, is a testament to their commitment to music itself. It also doesn't hurt that they're already super rich and didn't exactly need the money. However, every one of their albums sounds like Radiohead and no other band, and thats why I think they're great. Look at it like this - when you're old and someone asks you what music was like when you were growing up, what are you going to say? I'm proud to say that I was/am around to experience a band like Radiohead in their peak years and I can only hope that I get to see them live at some point in my life.

Above is them performing "Weird Fishes/Arpeggi" on the Jools Holland show last night. Notice they pan to Cat Power in the audience. Shes amazing both as a physical specimen and as a singer, but thats for another blog. Cheers, and if you dont care about Radiohead and/or think they suck, tough titties.

The Degeneration of Leadership

A few minutes ago on ESPN the cameras caught the legendary John Wooden entering Pauley Pavilion to watch tonights game between Arizona and UCLA. As one of the most iconic figures in all of sports, it is easy to singularly define Wooden by his unparalled winning success as a college coach. What struck Young Swole tonight though as he watched Wooden enter the arena were some of the more subtle character traits that the man stands for. Not only did Wooden win at a level never seen, but he stood for everything good in college sports. He not only coached solid players, he also helped develop solid citizens. He didn't merely teach a motion offense, he also taught the life lessons that are needed to be successful on and off the basketball court. And finally, John Wooden coached with a loyalty to his school and his players that is sadly dissapeared from the college game.

It is becoming all too common in college sports to hear of a coach deserting his team for more money or for selfish reasons. Think about college football, with guys like Rich Rodriguez, June Jones or Nick Saban abandoning their teams for their own selfish reasons. Then think of college basketball coaches like Bob Huggins and John Beilein who do the same exact practice. Even in professional sports, coaches ignore loyalty on an almost universal level. The leaders of our sports teams seem in ever increasing numbers not to use their position as an opportunity to create a championship team or to have an impact on their players lives, but only as a leverage point in becoming more famous and making more money.

We hear all the time about how the character of our players has declined over the last couple decades. Today's athlete is considered a greedy thug to most members of society. They don't have a will to win, they only have a will to make money. Players are bemoaned when they switch teams or speak out against their organizations, yet coaches get away with the same crime while inflicting great consequences on their players as well. Think for a second about Ryan Mallett, the freshmen quarterback at Michigan. He went to UM to play for Lloyd Carr, but when Rich Rodriguez took over for Carr, Mallett was basically told he had no future at the school. So in 2007, while Rodriguez will make over 4 million dollars at his new job, Mallett will be forced to sit out an entire season after transferring to Arkansas. Is this really the players fault, or is he simply being punished for the greed and selfishness of a coach we can all agree looks out for no one but himself? Players get the bad rap for being disloyal, but they are merely doing what all players are taught to do, follow their coach and his example.

So here we see John Wooden, the ultimate coach and teacher in college sports. Do you think some of his success may have to do with the fact that he never switched schools to earn a greater paycheck? Or maybe can his success be attributed to the fact that he cared enough for his players to put their self-interest ahead of his own? It could even have been that despite all of his success, he realized that no title is won alone, and that to truly achieve success a team has to trust each other and know that his fellow teammates will be there for him in the difficult times. Young Swole has never spoken to John Wooden and probably never will, but he can still learn from him simply by observing what the man stands for. There may be richer coaches out there, and their may be more famous coaches out there, but there will never be a more successful coach than John Wooden, a man who has always stood for every ideal in sports.

Another Asterisk*?

Young Brew Drinkers:

Like Cicero delivering his Philippics against Mark Antony, Young Cicero has been moved to speak (or write).

The issue of the New England Patriots seems to be coming into focus. The details becoming clear. I won't rehash the facts, since Dan Wetzel's fine article does so here.

Everyone who understands that multiple Super Bowl titles and marquee wins by the Pats are now in question must also realize how tragic this is for the game. The issue of "Spygate" looks poised to rival MLB's Barry Bonds/Steroids issue in terms of potential embarrassment. Already, Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA) has called for Congressional hearings. Sound familiar?

The funny thing is this: The New England Patriots are the NFL's Barry Bonds. Entities with a track record not only of incredible, undeniable talent, but also a general disregard for public opinion, even to the point of being perceived as rude and caustic. This has a strange effect on fans: they love to watch because of the way the team/player plays, but justifiably dislike off-the-field behaviors. There is little difference between the types of post-game interviews given by Barry Bonds and Bill Belichick. And it creates serious love/hate feelings. For all the people rooting for the Patriots on Sunday, there will be just as many people rooting not really for the Giants, but against the Patriots.

So after the steroids era of baseball, a crippling strike in hockey, and this new football scandal called Spygate, anyone up for a game of Baseketball??

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Rollin' on Snubs

Tonight on TNT, the NBA All-star Reserve Squads were announced. The teams are now officially set for the All-Star Game in N'awlins on Sunday, February 17. Let's take a look at both sides before delving into the meaty part of the discussion.

Guard-Jason Kidd
Guard-Dwyane Wade
Forward-Lebron James
Forward-Kevin Garnett
Center-Dwight Howard
Chauncey Billups
Chris Bosh
Caron Butler
Rip "City" Hamilton
Antawn Jamison
Joe Johnson
Paul Pierce

Guard-Allen Iverson
Guard-Kobe Bryant
Forward-Carmelo Anthony
Forward-Timmy Duncan
Center- Yao Ming
Carlos Boozer
Steve Nash
Dirk Nowitzki
Brandon Roy
Chris Paul
Amare Stoudamire
David West

Now, I'm not going to tackle the "Who should be a starter vs. reserve" debate, because all of these guys are going to get PT. The most important thing to consider is who should be going to the Big Easy and who should be eating at the Buffett on Gameday (like Marwan).

East Snubs
- Jose Caulderon...A month ago, I would have still labeled him as a fluke, but there's no denying anymore how talented this young Spaniard is. He is the Rafael Nadal of Basketball because of his lightning quick reflexes. He has an excellent Assist to turnover ratio, and has stepped up admirably in TJ Ford's absence. You could make a strong argument that he's better than Ford when healthy at his best. Without Caulderon, the Raptors would be somewhere in Knick-land.

- Jason Richardson...When the Bobcats made the trade during the draft where they sent the 8th overall pick to the Warriors for J Rich, most people (including myself) questioned owner MJ's sanity. At least at the present time, we may have been wrong. While Branden Wright (the pick that Charlotte traded) is accumulating splinters in his ass on the bench, J Rich has been ballin' on a budget for the Bob's. He leads the NBA in 3's and has more points than any other Guard in the East.

Forward- Gerald Wallace...I realize the Bobcats aren't that good, but the Heat have won half as many games as them and D Wade still got a roster spot. Wallace has turned into a great all-around player and leads the East (and all forwards) in steals. Defensive stats just get overlooked in the voting process. It's too bad, because he's a great offensive player too and he definitely deserves a reserve spot.

Forward- Hedo Turkoglu...I was going back and forth on which Magic Forward to give this to, but in the end I think that Mr. Glu edges 'Shard, because he contributes more points, rebounds, and assists. Turkoglu is a huge reason for Orlando's success this year and has been arguably the best Fantasy value so far this year. Not that fantasy matters in all-star voting, but you gotta give Hedo some love. He's having a career year and is playing outstanding basketball.

Center- Rasheed Wallace...For argument's sake, we are going to call Sheed a Center, even though he is more of a PF. Still, the other Wallace is putting up his usual sick numbers. Is that good enough to get him an all-star nod...maybe not, but he's the only worthy snub candidate at Center in the East.

West Snubs
Guard- Baron Davis...In my opinion, this is the biggest snub of the them all. BD has been sick this year. When healthy, Baron has always been a top 5 guard, but this year, he's been a top 5 player. It's ludicrous that a guy that's leading the league in steals, not to mention top 10 in triples, points, and assists is not an all-star. Without him, the Warriors would have no shot at a playoff spot in the West. There's no way he shouldn't be going to the big game.

Deron Williams...This is a tough call. Manu Ginobili is also very deserving, but I only have one guard spot and I had to give the edge to Deron based on his sick 9.5 assists a game (I understand Manu is a SG, but there isn't another stat that he has that separates him from Williams enough). He hasn't been as baller as he was earlier in the season, but there's no denying that this is one of the best PG in the game today. Substitute a mediocre PG on the Jazz and they would be floundering. Without Deron feeding Boozer the ball, Booze Cruise wouldn't be an all-star. Not to mention he has one of the best FG % among all guards at nearly 52 percent.

Forward- Shawn Marion...How come the Matrix never gets any love from voters. This is one of the best all-around players in the game today. There's a reason he's always on top of the fantasy leaderboards. He produces in every category. There a select few who hustle as hard as he does on both sides of the floor. Sadly, it seems that his trade demands during the off-season might have cost him some popularity points with voters.

Forward- Stephen Jackson...What a thug. This baller missed the first 7 games of the season because of a suspension, and he is still putting up numbers with the best of 'em. Not only is a mean son of a bitch (he'll steal the ball away from you and your lunch money), but he's an excellent 3 point assassin. The Warriors couldn't survive without him.

Center- Marcus Camby...You could make an easy argument that this is the biggest bust of them all too. Camby has been a Monster on the defensive side. He's averaging 4!!! blocks a game and a steal as well. This doesn't even take into account the shadow he casts over anyone who's driving the lane and all of the defensive rebounds he snags. He doesn't have the flashy offensive stats that Yao and Amare do, but neither of those guys can hold a candle to the Defensive Numbers that he's lighting up the scoreboard with.

All-Star Snobs
These are the guys who I feel don't deserve to be going to New Orleans. This isn't to say that they aren't ballers, it's just that some of the snubs are having better seasons.

Rip Hamilton
- I love my Pistons and Rip is having a great year, but he's basically just a great scorer, he doesn't bring enough else to the table to make him worthy of a spot.

Joe Johnson- Pretty much the same thing goes for Young Jeezy. He's been scoring at a high clip as usual, but he offers little else and plays no D (even though he may lay the D on the Hotlanta Betty's).

David West- This bid baffles me. Sure, West was one of the most underrated players in the league, but now it appears he's being overrated. I don't see how he's any better than his teammate Tyson Chandler. It appears they wanted to give another Hornet some love because they are doing so great and it's in their hometown. He'd definitely make it if he were playing in the East, but the West is too stacked at Forward for Young West to make it.

Carmelo Anthony- Everyone seems to love Melo. I don't really understand why. Remember when he got that 15 game suspension last year for that fight in the Knick's game. In my book he's as big of a ho bag as Ronny Artest. He is a great scorer like Rip and Joe, but he turns the ball over hella and is a puss on the Defensive end. He also is a fairly weak 3 point shooter.

Thursday Hoops Throwdown

Before the Super Bowl this Sunday, the sports gods decided to give us a pre-game gift: 4 amazing hoops battles taking place tonight. Lets break down the action GDB Style

Los Angeles Lakers @ Detroit Pistons, 730 PM
Laker Scouting Report: Tonight is the beginning of the gauntlet for the Lakers. They play 9 straight games on the road before the All-Star Break hits. Included in the trip are games at Orlando, Toronto and Washington, but the toughest game is tonight. The Lakers are only 3-4 since Andrew Bynum got injured, and any more slippage could put their playoff spot in serious jeopardy. We all know that Kobe is going to show up every night, they key is whether the Lakers role players, who have been so good so far this season, can be consistent enough to get some wins on this trip. If guys like Lamar Odom and Jordan Farmar can play well, the Lakers may survive the trip and grow up a lot in the process.

Piston Scouting Report: After losing 3 out of 4 games to teams such as the Kings and Knicks, the Pistons have now won three in a row. Now they have 6 of 7 games at home before the All-Star break, which means they could be in position to snatch the 1st seed from the Celtics by the end of that stretch if Boston continues to struggle. Detroit still has one of the best starting fives in the entire league, but now they are developing a youthful and athletic bench to compliment all-star caliber plays like Chauncey Billups and Rasheed Wallace. The Pistons are consistent as always, and their low turnover rates and solid shooting percentages show us that they aren't going to beat themselves.

Prediction time: Despite the brutal schedule of games, Young Swole thinks the Lakers are going to survive this trip. The tough opponents are spread between crappy teams like the Heat and the Nets, and if they steal one of the tough games a 5-4 is not out of the question. Tonight though is a different story. The Pistons have the big guys to neutralize Lamar Odom and the defense and experience to shut down the other Laker role players. While Kobe will probably have a huge game, there are simply too many weapons in Detroit for him to singlehandedly overcome. Pistons win 106-87

Dallas Mavericks @ Boston Celtics, 8pm, TNT
Mavs scouting report: Not only is this an important game for the Mavs, but it comes at an important juncture in their season. We've all heard the Jason Kidd rumors, which will no doubt affect how the Mavs play (Look at what trade rumors did to the Bulls). Dallas has also lost emerging point guard Devin Harris for a few weeks. With all this extra drama, its easy to forget that the Mavs are 11-2 so far in January and seem to be coming together as a team. Tonight will be a good test to see how they match up against a league powerhouse. The team may not look the same the next time these two play, but a win tonight will give the Mavs lots of confidence that they can handle the Celtics.
Celtics scouting report: We all knew the Celtics were going to cool off eventually. Most of us outside of the City of Delusion, aka Boston, also knew that a team that relies so much on veterans were bound to fall off because they could not maintain the intensity and health for a full 82 games. So while the Celtics have looked ordinary the past two weeks, don't act like its a surprise. There's no need for them to play every game like their last, because they are pretty much guaranteed a top-2 spot in the east, and they have already proven they can win in Detroit. Tonight they won't have Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen will probably not be 100 percent. Their bench played incredible in Miami last night, but the old saying is if they could play that good every night, they wouldn't be coming off the bench.
Prediction time: One of the tougher games on the card to forecast. The Mavs come in with a lot of confidence, but they have injury issues and the Celtics have been great at home. The key to the game will be the Josh Howard and Paul Pierce matchup. Pierce will have to wild out tonight to get a Celtics victory. If Howard can slow him down, or force Pierce to defer to his teammates the Mavs will win. This one will probably be close, but the lack of KG will hurt down the stretch and the Mavs will pull away late. Mavs win 98-92
Indiana University @ University of Wisconsin, 9pm, ESPN
Hoosier scouting report: The Hoosiers were outhustled badly against an undermanned UConn team on Saturday. You can pretty much bank on a Kelvin Sampson team not being outhustled two games in a row. Sampson was probably giving the entire team the Neil Reed treatment this week, and Young Swole expects the Hoosiers to come onto the court like a pack of wild dogs. The Hoosiers have a great chance to win this game if they can get consistent play from their guards. We all know the talent level, what we don't know is whether they can make the right decisions on the road for 40 minutes. Guys like Crawford and E Gordon are so good, that if they just play smart and run the offense through DJ White in the post, they will both score in double digits even if its in a complimentary role.
Badger scouting report: For years Bo Ryan has been the most underrated coach in America. He doesn't get the recruits that teams like North Carolina or Arizona get, and yet every year the Badgers are not only a ranked team, but also a team that constantly upsets more talented squads. Additionally, the Badgers hardly ever lose at home. Young Swole remembers how big a deal it was when Illinois went into Madison and got a victory 3 years ago. That game told the country how good the Illini were because if they could win in the Kohl Center they could win anywhere. The Badgers are not as explosive as they were last year, and probably not as talented either, but they still have solid big men who can control the glass, and good guards like Michael Flowers who can hit the big buckets. Plus, while Sampson is a good coach, he won't outcoach Bo Ryan.
Prediction time: This is an such an intriguing game. You have the young and talented Hoosiers with the freshmen phenoms rolling into one of the best home courts in the country. No one doubts the Hoosiers have the talent to win tonight, but if their guards are not more careful with the ball, they will not get that win. Wisconsin plays at a different level at home, and that crowd is going to be rowdy. Its a lot to ask for freshman guards to go on the road and win this game, and based on their recent decision-making, His Swoleness thinks their inexperience combined with the Badger efficiency will give the Badgers the win in a Big 10 slugfest, 65-57
San Antonio Spurs @ Phoenix Suns, 1030pm, TNT
Spurs scouting report: We haven't seen the Spurs look this vulnerable in years. Their annual rodeo trip started out consecutive losses in Utah (understandable) and Seattle (disgraceful). On top of that, Tony Parker is now out injured with foot issues, placing even more pressure on Tim Duncan and Manu Ginobili to carry and older team without many other consistent options. Now they limp into the valley of the sun to face a Phoenix team that you can guarantee has not forgotten about how their season ended last year. Ginobili usually has huge games in Phoenix, but without Parker to break down the defense, he is going to have to be the orchestrator. This means that a Spurs wing player like Michael Finley or Bruce Bowen is going to have to step up to provide an effective offensive option.
Suns scouting report: While the Spurs seem to be falling apart, the Suns appear to be coming together in the way we thought they could. Grant Hill has returned from appendix removal and mainstays like Amare Stoudemire, Raja Bell and Shawn Marion are playing at their highest level all season. A good sign for the Suns is how they defeated the Hawks the other night. For all their talent, the Suns tend to let bad teams hang around, rarely blowing them out. But with every reason to look ahead to tonight's game and overlook the Hawks, Phoenix came out and promptly blew the Hawks out by 33. Now they get the game they've been looking for all season, the chance to play the wounded Spurs, at home, for the first time since last year's playoffs.
Prediction time: This sure does seem to a one-sided game. The Spurs are reeling, and the Suns are going to be more angry and focused on this game than any other so far this season. Even more than usual, the Spurs will have to control the tempo of this game. Without Parker, they simply do not have the firepower to run with the Suns. If Steve Nash can open the game up of offense, and if the Suns can force Ginobili to give the ball up on offense, this one may not be close. Sweezy thinks the Spurs will play better tonight, they have too much pride to get destroyed, but overall they just aren't bringing enough firepower with them tonight. Maybe if they play from ahead the game will be interesting in the 4th quarter, but if they get behind early, its over. Suns win 107-92.


No explanation necessary.

Walkin' in Memphis

Well it looks like the Tigers (or at least one of the dozen teams who call themselves Tigers) are solidly atop the NCAAB rankings. The people to congratulate for John Claipari & Co. reaching the uncontested #1 spot are sleeping in Lawrence, Kansans tonight. Bill Self (the biggest under-achieving coach in NCAAB-ball), shoulda-been-a-Hoosier Darrell Arthur, Mario Chalmers and the rest shat the bed tonight, losing to Kansas State, 84-75.

I guess we should have seen it coming, though. The only baller that truly rivals Eric ("EJ") Gordon in all-out frattitude is one Michael Beasley, who guaranteed TWO victories over perennial Big-12 powerhouse KU this year. True, he might have made this prediction after rubbing Bob Huggins' belly for good luck, but even after the departure of the Huggy-Bear, Beasley and his posse have made good on the promise, or at least 50% of it. But really, after ending the 24-year-old streak of KU victories, who cares if this is the only win K-State scores against its in-state rival this year? If I can tell you one thing for sure, it is that there is going to be a truly gnarly party in Manhattan, KS right now.

Good for you, K.S. Wildcats. I salute you. And Michael Beasley, enjoy this one year of college while it lasts...and enjoy the guaranteed dough that comes with being a #1 overall draft pick. You ONLY contributed 6 boards and 2 assists while scoring 25 points tonight. By willing your team to victory over the Gayhawks, you have assured yourself the loot and the legacy. Enjoy my friend.

P.S. In other news, the Texas Longhorns have lost, ensuring that if the Indiana Hoosiers win at #13 Wisconsin we will move back into the Top 10.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Shooter McGavin Says, "I Eat Pieces Of Shit Like You For Breakfast"

Breaking News: Tiger Woods is by far and away the best golfer on the planet right now. Does anyone want to argue with that? Oh, what's that you say Ian Poulter? You think you are as good as Tiger? Whaaaaaaaaaa? Yes, it's true. Young Poulter, the 22nd ranked golfer in the world was interviewed by Golf World Magazine before this weekend's Dubai Desert Classic and he basically said that he is the only man in the world that can compete with Woods. Here's what the 32 year old British jamoke said:

"The trouble is I don't rate anyone else...Don't get me wrong, I really respect every professional golfer, but I know I haven't played to my full potential and when that happens, it will be just me and Tiger"

The Englishman, asked by the magazine to predict the winner of the first major of the season at the Masters in April, replied: "Put Tiger down for that one." For the year's second major at the U.S. Open, he said: "You can put me down for that one."

Alllllright, buddy. How have you not reached your potential yet? You're 32 years old! Did you know that you are the same age as Tiger? Maybe he hasn't reached his potential yet either?

In this magazine, Poulter is pictured almost completely nude except for a golf bag covering his....uhhhh golf balls. I didn't post it for fear that some of my colleagues would enjoy it too much.
The point is, has Ian Poulter ever done this???

That's from the Masters, which Tiger has won 4 times. How many green jackets have you won Mr. P?? Oh yeah, zero. Talk to me when you win a major, son.

Greg Oden: ESPN Commercial

Gotta love this Greg Oden Commercial. There's a certain dry humor about him that cracks me up. The behind the scenes shoot is pretty entertaining too. I hope he returns healthy next year and has a good career. Good luck big man!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Freestyle Exercise Olympiad

Young Taco Maker and Young Swole are always on the forefront of athletic achievement. So where others merely see an exercise ball, these 2 beer barons see opportunity. In the following pictures, you will see an epic journey through a form of greatness that can only be fueled by dat brew. (Descriptions of the sickness follow below each picture)

"Slippery Cliff like my last name's Huxtable"

"Electric Relaxtion in Argyle Sittin' on Chrome"

"Freshy Pow Pow Flare with Detroit Grime like Frank Stoney"

"No Homo Double Max Asian Frogsplash"

"Double Midnight Cowboy Brew Galore"

"Triple Ollie Espresso Fakey Prothro Twist"

"Dolly Dickin' dat what she said"

"Young Brewhound Bow Wow Scruggs Twist"

"Young 'Blasian Casual Male Winter Catalog"

"Fullerton Avenue Dank Gnar 151 splash"

"Platinum Plus Jazz Hands Bud Mackey Flip"

"Indian Style like Apache "

"Game over headfirst Wally bobble"

Photos courtesy of Young Andersen


After several long, excruciating months of speculation, rumors, and overall bullshit, the landing place for Johan Santana has been decided.

The Big Apple will welcome it's newest shining star, but it's not the Yankees. The New York Mets have swept in and landed not only the best pitcher on the market, but arguably the best pitcher in all of baseball. The deal (pending a contract extension worth likely an exorbitant amount and a physical) will send Santana to the Mets for 4 prospects: outfielder Carlos Gomez and pitchers Phil Humber, Deolis Guerra and Kevin Mulvey.

All I can say is THANK GOD! I was growing more tired of this shit than I was of A Rod-gate and the Clemens Report.

(A side note: I am glad I am not from Minnesota. Every sports fan in that state must either be contemplating suicide or planning to destroy the East coast. Sorry Minny fans.)

Young Knuckleballer Analysis

This is the biggest baseball trade since the Pedro Martinez trade from the Montreal Expos to the Boston Red Sox. These are the kind of lop-sided deals that can set a franchise like the Twins back 3 years. They are already stocked with young talent like Joe Mauer and Francisco Liriano, they needed the Leadership that Santana provided much more than extra young talent. Basically, the Twinkies didn't want to pay Santana's sky-high market value. I understand that they don't have a very big payroll because they are a small market team with a cheap owner. On the one hand, I feel bad for teams like the A's, Rays, Marlins, Royals, and Twins...Major League Baseball needs to figure out a way to deal with this situation...but on the other hand, I'm a Tiger's Fan so I can't complain too much, considering he's out of the AL Central and he's not on another AL Contender like the Red Sox or Yankees.

The Twins weren't going to compete for the Division or a playoff spot anyway, so let's look at the other half of the pie. The Mets gave up some solid young talent for the Best Pitcher in Baseball right now. People can make arguments for Brandon Webb, Jake Peavy, or Dan Haren, but let's be serious here. If you were to bet your life on one pitcher to win you a game (forgetting about the team around him) you'd bet on Santana. Even though he had a "down year" last season (still above average by most players standards), he is still the most freakishly talented Pitcher in the sport by far, and at age 28 he's Prime Rib.

The Mets have had the offensive fire power to rival any team in baseball the past 2 years, but with sub-par pitching they haven't been able to put it all together. They still have pitching issues, but when you have the best pitcher in the league at the front of your rotation, the Mets have to be the favorites in the National League. Last year they fell apart down the stretch thanks to numerous Pitching Meltdowns. Well, there's no way that would happen again this year. When you have Santana trotting out to the mound every 5 games, you have to like your chances.

You gotta be happy for Johan here. He finally goes to a winner. The Twins were solid for a few years, even making the playoffs and threatening the top teams in the American League for a stretch, but they were always underdogs in the big games. Now he goes to a place where he has a legit chance to get a World Series Ring. It also doesn't hurt that he's in a Super High Profile market where he can make a boatload of cash. This wasn't the case in Minny. Overall, this is an outstanding day for the Mets and Santana, and a very sad day for Twins Fans.

The NBA All Ugly Team

we could probably keep this list going for days, but here are a few obvious suggestions for the NBA All Ugly team:

Tyrone Hill...may in fact be the crypt keeper

Scottie Pippen. the man looks like a brick wall

sam cassell demonstrating how he "gets all up in them guts"

popeye jones aka the sloth from goonies

brevin knight. this creature is not to be trusted.

I don't know if shelden williams is even in the NBA but I do know that this man is ugly

Bad Huskies, No Biscuits
You guys have to read this investigative report from the Seattle Times about the 2000 Washington Huskies Football team (the last good UW squad). It features Former Seahawks and current Buccaneers TE Jerramy Stevens who was accused of Rape, but barely disciplined. These three reports show how being an athlete gets you out of sticky situations (which most people already know, but some of this shit is just disturbing). Make sure you check out the Jeremiah Pharms story too. You will never look at the pesky Huskies the same way again.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Quick Fixes

Tonight, George W. Bush gave his last State of the Union address to the nation. His final report on the status of the country got me doing a little reflecting and thinking of my own. So many disconcerting events take place on a daily basis, and things seem to get worse every day.

So I asked myself "Is there any common denominator with any of these events?" Then it came to me- one man, the beacon of hope for our troubled times, has been out of our hearts and minds for too long. During his absence, the agents of terror and mayhem have run wild, sowing seeds of violence and immorality. So I ask you, Jack Bauer, to return to us. Restore credibility to the greatest facebook group of all times. Come back and start putting the world right, 24 hours at a time. Think of all the things you could fix:

-The complicated Presidential election season. Bauer could get off to a good start by bringing all the remaining Presidential candidates together for a single purpose: a cage fight to the death, last person who manages to stay alive while Bauer goes nuts will get the job. It will show who the true survivor really is. This should happen soon; if the survivor is badly wounded he (or she) will need time to recover. If they should happen to expire due to injuries sustained, Dennis Haysbert will take the job by default.

-Steroids in baseball. The Mitchell Report was not comprehensive because many suspected users and suppliers refused to talk to George Mitchell. Something tells me Bauer will be able to get the answers he seeks.

-The "Recession." Bauer will descend upon the nation's capitol to provide quick fixes to the government. He will freeze interest rates on mortgages effective immediately and until he says otherwise, increase protective tariffs for U.S. goods, convene a council of leading scholars from the Post-Keynesian School of Law and Economics to develop long-term goals, and start printing money with his own face on it. It will be more valuable than gold.

-Chinese Olympics. Not only are the athletes probably going to die from the sheer level of pollution in Beijing, but the communist slave drivers are using slave labor to try and get their city ready for this ludicrous display. Bauer will intercept the Olympic torch at some point along its path, and bring it to CTU Los Angeles, where the Olympics will be held instead. New events will include:

- "Avoid Bauer," where you have to make your way through the building in the dark while
Jack stalks you.
- "Who Can Hold Their Breath in a Room of Poison Gas the Longest?" Pretty self-
- "Who Is Brave Enough to Walk Into a Room of Plutonium First." Winner gets a billion
points, but will ultimately die.
- And finally, an event where contestants are told a secret, then judged on how long they can
keep it a secret from Jack.

-The Britney Spears Saga. Bauer will use some of the same rehabilitation techniques with Britney that he learned during his time in China. Maybe some of these same methods can be helpful for Jaimie Lynn and the parents, too. Jack also takes issue with the fact that Britney's father is an LSU fan. Jack likes U.C.L.A.

-The Writer's Strike. This is the reason he has been gone for so long, so Jack will have special Bauer-style justice to distribute to fix this problem. He will disband all television and only one channel will be broadcasted: The Jack Bauer Reality Network. All Jack, all the time.

It's got to be better than anything else going on these days...

NBA Power Rankings

Its Monday Night, which means its time to set the table for another full week of NBA action.

The Sweet 16
1. New Orleans 31-12. Its time to give this team its props. They have the best record in the West, they've won 8 in a row and just demolished the Spurs by 24 in Cow Country. People may still be skeptical, but why can't they win the West this year?
Opponents this week: Denver, Golden State, @Sacramento
2. Boston 34-8. The Celts still have the best record in the league, but they aren't playing like the best team anymore. They barely beat the hapless T'Wolves on Friday and couldn't beat the Magic without KG. Is this a bump in the road, or have we seen the best already of the men in green?
Opponents this week: @Miami, Dallas
3. Phoenix 32-13. The Suns survived pretty well without Grant Hill and posted a big win over King James on Friday in Cleveland. Now they get a chance to exact revenge on the reeling Spurs this week, think the Valley of the Sun will be ready for that one?
Opponents this week: Atlanta, San Antonio
4. Detroit 31-13. The Swole One liked what he saw out of the 'Stons this week. Losing in Orlando is no big crime, and they turned around and thumped them at home three nights later, proving they are still the second big dog in the Eastern Conference.
Opponents this week: @Indiana, LA Lakers, Dallas
5. Dallas 30-13. Swole has been wondering for weeks now how good this Mavs team really is. Well he's about to find out this week, they face the top 2 teams in the East in a span of three days and just lost Devin Harris to an ankle injury.
Opponents this week: @Memphis, @Detroit, @Boston
6. San Antonio 28-14. Something seems wrong with the Spurs. When was the last time anyone went into their house and crushed them by 24? Now they start the 9 game rodeo trip, which means they will either come together as they so often do, or they could be in the bottom half of the WC playoff standings at the All-Star break.
Opponents this week: @Utah, @Seattle, @Phoenix
7. Orlando 28-18. Swole is going to give props to this team for going 2-1 against the Pistons and Celtics last week. To do it in the playoffs though, they need a big time point guard. Hello Jason Kidd?
Opponents this week: Miami, @Philadelphia, @Indiana
8. Denver 26-17. Losing Carmelo hurt, but the Nugs are still tops in their division. If they can tread water until Melo returns they should be fine going forward because they have the most talent in the Northwest.
Opponents this week: @New Orleans, @Memphis, Charlotte
9. Utah 26-18. Don't look now but here come the Jazz. They've gone 8-2 in their last 10 and have shown signs of stepping it up on the defensive end.
Opponents this week: San Antonio, NY Knicks, @Washington, @Memphis
10. Golden State 27-18. Andris Biedrins ripped down 26 rebounds last night against the Knicks. Not coincidently, Eddy Curry at 26 hot dogs on the bench while Biedrins was on his rebounding rampage.
Opponents this week: @Houston, @New Orleans, Charlotte
11. LA Lakers 27-15. Yesterday's loss to the Cavs was not a good sign. As competitive as the west is, the Lake Show cannot let games like that slip away and still expect to make the playoffs, regardless of when Bynum comes back.
Opponents this week: NY Knicks, @Detroit, @Toronto, @Washington
12. Portland 26-19. The Blazers keep on hanging around in the WC. We'll see how much longer they can keep it up, but if they are this close to 1st place at the ASB it would be an incredible achievement.
Opponents this week: Cleveland, New York
13. Cleveland 24-19. LeBron pretty much told Kobe yesterday that this is his league from now on. If he ever got a good teammate to play with, this team would be instant title contenders.
Opponents this week: @Portland, @Seattle, LA Clippers
14. Toronto 24-19. Huge victory over the Celtics on Tuesday night. That was the kind of win that the Raptors needed to give them the confidence that they can hang with the Eastern Conference's elite.
Opponents this week: @Washington, Washington, LA Lakers
15. Washington 23-19. A tough week for the Wiz, who seem to be wearing down a little right now. Two big games against the Rap Show this week to see where they stand up in the Eastern Conference pecking order.
Opponents this week: Toronto, @Toronto, Utah, LA Lakers
16. Houston 24-20. Yeah they are 4 games over .500, and yeah they have T-Mac and Yao healthy. But losing at home to the Jazz further convinces His Swoleness that this team doesnt have what it takes to even make the playoffs this year.
Opponents this week: Golden State, @Indiana, @Milwaukee
Young Swole's Baller of the Week
LeBron walked into the House of the Mamba and pretty much tore Kobe's heart out. Putting up 41 points with little help from anyone else shows everyone just how damn good this guy already is, and how sick he's going to be in a few years.
Young Swole's Jackass of the Week
Gerald Green can't get consistent playing time on the worst team in the NBA. So what does he do, he demands to be traded. If you can't cut it on the sorry ass Timberwolves then the only place you should be asked to be traded to is the NBDL. I knew he only had half a hand, i didn't know Green also only had half a brain. Young Swole is hoping McHale cuts Green and fills his roster spot with recently reinstated Chris "Birdman" Anderson.
5 Games to watch this week
1. Toronto @ Washington, Tuesday. Washington faces four teams with winning records this week, and this may be the easiest game of the bunch. Bosh against Jamison is a good enough matchup to risk getting carjacked in DC for.
2. Golden State @ New Orleans, Wednesday. The most exciting team in the league faces up against the league's biggest suprise. Baron Davis versus Chris Paul gives Young Swole goosebumps (no homo).
3. LA Lakers @ Detroit, Thursday. The Lakers head east for a 9 game road trip at a crucial point in their season. If they can go 5-4 on this trip, things just might be OK. It will be tough to get a W in Motown though, the Pistons own the Lake Show in the D.
4. Dallas @ Boston, Thursday. Two teams with suddenly a lot to prove. Is Dallas a serious title contender? Has Boston already peaked? The arena will probably be empty for this as most Boston residents will be busy jerking off to pictures of Tom Brady's ankle cast.
5. San Antonio @ Phoenix, Thursday. The Suns have played 26 of their 45 games on the road. With a bunch of home games coming up, nothing would jump-start their second half better than to exact some revenge on the Spurs in what has become the best rivalry in the NBA.

Top 10 Most Awkward Interviews in Sports

This is a classic video of hilarious interviews. I've had to do some painful interviews in my day. (2/3 of the Binghamton Women's Basketball team doesn't speak English), but I'm glad I'm not in the shoes of these reporters. Keep an eye out for our friend and mentor in #7.

Fireworks in Hotlanta

Most of America doesn't pay attention to hockey, but hopefully that will gradually change after the highly successful All-Star game. Young Swole who lives right by Atlanta didn't even know it was going on until I told him about it last night. The game was very exciting and neccessary for the sport to start gaining some popularity back after the great majority of it's already small fan base disappeared after the lockout. The East beat the West 8-7 on a Marc Savard Goal (he's from Boston unfortunately) with 20 seconds left in the game. The only way that the game could have been better is if Sid the Kid Crosby was a part of the festivities. It's too bad the most electrifying player in the game is out with a High Ankle sprain for at least the next two months. Plenty of other young stunners lit up the scoreboard though including Alexander Ovechkin. One of the best moments of all though, was when Commisioner Gary Bettman took the ice to give out the MVP award (won by Carolina's Eric Staal) and the entire crowd booed him loudly. I'm not saying Hockey is back like cooked crack, but this could be a good start toward repairing their image. Or...Maybe I'm just brainwashed because the AHL All-star game is being held in Binghamton, NY tonight where I'm located right now. Go B-Sens!

It gets wild in Columbia, MO on a Saturday night

Stefhon Hannah, the starting shooting guard for the Missouri Tigers basketball team, is in serious condition after getting fucked up in a wild brawl at a Columbia nightclub hours after beating the Colorado Buffaloes. Read more at the link below

Before everyone out there in GDB land starts making accusations, let Young Swole be the first to tell you that there is no evidence at this point that our compatriot Young Cicero was anywhere near the Athena Nightclub at 1:07am on Saturday morning. Early reports place the Ciceric One at his apartment, where he passed out at the early hour of 7pm after drinking one too many Miller Chills after the IU loss.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

We All Managed To Survive

Even though IU losing yesterday seemed like the end of the world, life goes on. And just so Young Swole's obnoxious post isn't the first thing I see on GDB, give this video a watch...

Oh and be sure to check out some old friends the :22 second mark.