Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Stupid kids with ice cream should not sit courtside


Young Swole was appalled by the actions he saw take place in Denver last night. During a crucial game between the Celtics and the Nuggets, a little kid at courtside spilled ice cream all over the court because he was not paying attention to the action. Instead he was focused on his giant bowl of ice cream and did not see Rajon Rondo headed towards him chasing after a loose ball on the sidelines. The result was a giant mess of ice cream all over the court and the kid covered in ice cream, which caused him to start crying as he was escorted from his seat.
Now Young Swole is all for enjoying a tasty treat at the ballgame, but there should be certain rules to follow when you sit in the front row. First of all, it is a privelige to be sitting this close to the action. To be that close to some of the greatest players in the world is an amazing opportunity. Therefore all attention should be paid to the actions on the court, and minimal attention to distractions like food or cell phones. Secondly, parents have to raise their kids better, so that they know how to behave at a game. The ice cream incident happened with about 30 seconds left in the half. Why didnt the dad wait until halftime to get his kid ice cream, ensuring that his son would not miss any of the action that was taking place right in front of him? Swole's bet is that the dad was too busy dicking around on his blackberry, and didnt want to be distracted by his kid, so he bought the kid ice cream in hopes he'd leave him alone. And while the kid looked like a bitch for crying about his spilt ice cream, the dad comes off even worse because he's the one who taught that kid how to be such a bitch.
Courtside etiquette has reached an all-time low in the NBA. When Swole was at a Hawks game a couple weeks ago, he saw empty seats along the court for long stretches of the game. And at the few times when the entire crowd got rowdy and stood up, the dopes in the front stayed seated, oblivious to the excitement occurring smack dab in front of them. Now the Denver Incident has given the NBA another black eye. For years we've known that older fans sit in the front row mostly just to brag about how rich they are, instead of following the game. But if the younger fans are so disinterested in the game taking place right in front of them, and would rather focus on a bowl of dippin' dots, then the NBA is in serious trouble. Swole advises that anyone with courtside seats is going to ignore the game in front of them, they should give the tickets to someone who actually gives a fuck about the actual game, as opposed to emails and nachos and unimportant text messages, someone like His Swoleness.

4 comments:

Young Por 'que said...

Another black eye for the NBA? Ya, I put this on the same level as other problems. I think it would look something like this:

1.) The Tim Donaghy Scandal and gambling on games

2.) Shady teams pulling off shady trades (Memphis)

3.) Kids eating ice cream

4.) People on their cell phones on games

5.) The NBA "thug" image problem

Ya, I totally see where ice cream and cell phones fit in the mix.

(This is the worst article since we saw a monkey sucking himself off)

Young Taco Maker said...

dude that kid was like 4 years old and his dad probably bought him that ice cream so he would shut the fuck up. dad might have been a real fan trying to watch the action but his kid kept whining about dippin dots.

i think porque means the *best article since we saw a monkey sucking himself off. this blog has been a real snooze ever since

Young Knuckleballer said...

since when did you start talking in the third person?

RealGirl said...

Doesn't matter how good you raise your kids, their still gonna spill something every once and awhile. Im sure you did when you were young and dumb. Life goes on.