Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Down with the Sickness

Well Young Swole went to an Atlanta Hawks game, and in the process drank a little too much lean and has been sick ever since. Thankfully this happened on one of the slowest sports weekends of the year, but enough went on that The Swole One still has some observations to make:

1. Nothing is more annoying than the MC guy at basketball games who is in charge of running the contests during timeouts. The guy at the Hawks game was rude and insulting to the contestants all while basically screaming into the microphone, so that people in East Point could probably hear him. Seriously, if the furthest you got in life is a dude in charge of a promotion at a basketball game, don't you think you'd have a little better attitude. The Hawks need to ship him to the NBDL.

2. The highlight of the Hawks game by far was when Harry the Hawk threw a giant cake in some bitches face. While this sort of hijinks has been going on at sporting events for years, what made it priceless was the hoe's reaction to getting lit up by Harry. Since it was her birthday, she was all dressed up and ready to get freaky in Buckhead later that night, and yet now she was covered in various colors of frosting and cake spackle. Too bad for her, too good for the rest of us.

3. Congratulations NHL, you are the new soccer. Swole says this because it seems that the only highlights of hockey that people see anymore are when there is a giant fight, or something disturbing or gruesome happens. We saw this with Richard Zednik having his jugular cut in a game on Sunday. Swole would guess that this is probably the most played highlight from the entire NHL season, at the expense of a great play by someone like Sidney Crosby or Alex Ovechkin. Usually soccer is only treated like this in the states. If there is a hooligan brawl or some other negative event at a soccer game, you best believe it will be shown all across America, yet stellar play is hardly ever shown. Now at least soccer has a friend in the "forgotten and misrepresented" sports discussion.

4. Speaking of US Soccer, it was awesome seeing our future ballers stepping up to play Mexico to a 2-2 tie. In his first start with the national team, phenom Jozy Altidore scored a beautiful goal, and repeatedly torched Mexican Captain and FC Barcelona mainstay Rafa Marquez. Along with Altidore, we also got to see players like Michael Bradley, Maurice Edu, Benny Feilhaber and yes Freddy Adu earn valuable experience. Young Swole hopes that these guys will be the foundation for the US World Cup team in 2010 instead of the same old retreads that simply do not have the talent to bother the world's best squads.

5. Young Swole is worried that this ridiculous Roger Clemens story is going to spill into spring training and the start of the regular season. It was one thing to put up with this dickhead while he was playing, but now he's even more insufferable in trying to claim his innocence. Memo to the Rocket, we all know you did the juice so shut the fuck up and let us move on from hearing about you.

6. For my friends in the midwest, Young Swole feels your pain. It has been a brutal winter season across the midwest and it may get worse for 2 reasons. First, that shot of cold air that you've been feeling since Saturday is not even the main thrust of arctic air sitting north of us. Sooner or later that is going to come south, and it could last even longer than this cold blast did. Second of all, with all the cold and snow, the chances for extensive flooding this spring are high. While everyone wants a warmup, you should hope for a gradual one, so that snowmelt does not occur all at once. If it does, you may see ice-jammed rivers block the flow of all that snowmelt, creating severe flooding all across the midwest.

7. You know an event is worthless when it involves superstar NFL players and still nobody gives a crap about it. The Pro Bowl is nothing but a waste of space on the sports landscape.

8. Thank god the writers strike is over. Hopefully this means that shows like "Temptation Island 2" and "Dance War: Team Bruno versus Team Carrie Ann" (a Cicero favorite) will be soon replaced by 24 and the like.

Look for a first-half NBA Recap on Thursday, and then the start of GDB's baseball team previews this weekend, plus more college hoops analysis as the road to March Madness switches into the fast lane. Back to the meds for Swole.

1 comment:

Young Taco Maker said...

dude you gotta post a picture of that fake-ass Karl Malone we saw, fringe jacket and shit