Monday, April 7, 2008

MLB Opening Week observations

What a crazy first week in baseball. Scrub teams everywhere are blowing up while some of the top teams are off to a pathetic start. Lets recap and see some of the trends that emerged in week 1.

- It looks like the Tigers have put 2002 in the time machine and stepped right back to patheticness. All the hitters are pressing, the pitching has been dubious and there does not appear to be any relief ahead. The Tigers next 4 series are against the Red Sox, their nemesis the White Sox and two against the dangerous Blue Jays. 0-6 is bad enough, but when combined with the division and league they play in, another 2 bad weeks could prove fatal.

- The Sawks and Yanks are looking very ordinary. The Sawks catch a break i guess because of their awful scheduling, but that starting pitching doesnt look nearly as good as last year. The Yankees just look old, with fossils like Mike Mussina and Andy Pettitte looking completely washed up.

- Young Cicero must have been doing a lot of dick sucking in the last week, because his Cardinals are outrageous right now. Props goes to Dave Duncan for turning around a staff full of bum pitchers. Who knows how long they can keep it up, but the good fans of St. Louis will hopefully get a few months to root for this team while they are in contention.

- Johnny Cueto is illa dilla. His biggest problem is that his new manager is Dusty Baker, who turned the equally ill Mark Prior into a big pile of worthless within three seasons. If Cueto's arm survives his manager's destructive tendencies, he could be the next Pedro.

- Congratulations to the scheduler who made the Tigers and Cubs play at home early in the season, while the Rays and Rangers opened on the road. I guess this numbskull didn't realize that its still cold in the great lakes in the first week of April. Maybe he's drinking a little too much of that Al Gore Global Warming Kool-Aid.

- As a frustrated fantasy manager who owns Felix Hernandez, I'm excited by his first 2 starts but am also ready to gut the entire Seattle blowpen for costing him 2 victories by letting the scrub-ass Orioles come back in the 9th.

- Whoever thought it was a good idea to give Barry Zito 126 million dollars should be deported.

- I didnt think it was possible, but Steve Phillips seems like even more of a pedophile now that the rest of the Baseball Tonight slobs are referring to him as "Silver"

- If Ben Sheets is healthy, the Brew Crew could win 100 games. Eric Gagne needs to be sent out to pasture though, what a legendary HGH has-been.

- 4 days until the first Yanks-Sawks game of the season, which means 4 days until I jump off a cliff.

- Every Cubs fan that thinks its funny to say "Fuck you do me" in honor of Kosuke Fukudome is not only woefully unfunny, but is also a perfect example of the type of douchebag fans that have overtaken Wrigley Field to the point that its legendary crowds are now vastly overrated and unliked.


Young Cicero said...

cardinals will win 100 games this year.

young illiniwek said...

Agreed about the Brewers.

Fukudome is the real deal so far. Another great game today.

young illiniwek said...

Also, Young Cicero may want to stop the predictions. I'll remind you that your freshman year when IU started 5-1 or whatever it was in the Big Ten, you said they were going to win the NCAA championship... then they preceded to not even make the NIT.