Thursday night Oddsmakers

In honor of PTI, we will do a little oddsmakers to kick off a huge weekend in sports. This week's battle is between Young Knuckleballer and Young Porque.


Question 1: Odds that Ohio State wins the title on Monday Night

Young Porque: 35%. I think that they will be able to come out with heat from the beat down they suffered last year, eager for revenge and dominate Flynn. But at the half i think that miles will realize the big 10 can't defend a mobile QB and bring in Perrilouxxxxxxx.

Young Knuckleballer: 40%. I think that Beanie Wells is going to run wild and keep the game close into the 3rd quarter, but Todd (Flanders) Boekman has looked weak the last 2 games and he is eventually going to fuck up and throw a pick 6 which will put OSU down. Boekman will get flustered and won't be able to make the big plays going into the 4th. The only way the Buckeyes have a chance is if they can shut down the Tigs run game. If Hester is allowed to run wild, expect a blowout.


Question 2: Odds that all 4 home teams win on Wild Card Weekend

Young Knuckleballer: The odds of this happening are very slim, because some of the home teams are underdogs....i think there's a strong chance that two could lose.

Young Porque: 0% chance - The Jaguars have already beaten (dismantled) the Steelers once this year, now that "Fast" Willie is out for the playoffs, they have no shot at defending their houuuuuuuuse.


Question 3: Odds that the Celtics win 70 games this year

Young Porque: I'll give this a 5% chance, only because the East is fairly weak still and they just had a pretty impressive west coast trip, so I still give them a slight chance.

Young Knuckleballer: 0 percent....they haven't had a difficult schedule at all and the best team they played (The Pistons) they got shat on....only one team has won at least 70 games and that team had the best player in history....


Question 4: Odds that Mark Mangino ate a dolphin while in Miami for the Orange Bowl

Young Knuckleballer: 0 Percent. Mangino is only hungry for whale meat.

Young Porque: Absolutely 95%, cuz if it wasn't a dolphin, i gotta agree with the Knuckler and lean towards a whale


Final Question: Odds that Roger Clemens secretly enjoyed getting injected in the ass

Young Porque: 51%, i'm sure that he went through a dry spell for a while when he wasnt in the clubhouse with pettite, so he had to turn somewhere.

Young Knuckleballer: 75 %....I think the first few months it was a little uncomfortable, but as time went on he let it just slide in...and now it's become a favorite past time of his.

Swole Stat Boy's Analysis:

I liked the double squadoosh by the Young Knuckler, however the fact that he failed to provide a percentage for one of the questions, and that he would rather lose his money player poker than continuing oddsmakers proves that he does not have the required commitment to win this week. Go buy me breakfast bitch.