I'll try to keep my posts penis free from now on. Although this one does involve a huge dick, it does so in the proverbial sense and not literally.
In case anyone gives a dump about The New American Gladiators, I just thought I should remind the world of the greatness that this show once was. I once saw an episode with a contestant named, and this is not made up, Purple Roundy. Not only was that his name, but he had a wicked curly mullet and a mustache. He looked kinda like my man John Oates, one half of the greatest musical duo of all time (if you were thinking Wham, someone should wake you up before you go-go)
The chicks on AG are still amazons, although with much less volume in their hair. They could still rip your dick off and throw that shit in the tall grass, never to be seen again. Speaking of throwing penises in the tall grass, Lorena Bobbit lives in the town of Woodbridge, VA which is where I attended three miserable years of high school. The road that police (or random penis finding volunteers?) found John Bobbit's penis on was the Prince William Parkway and I drove on it everyday clutching my area in self-defense.
But this post isn't about the lovely women of AG. Its actually about Malibu, the greatest douchenozzle to ever grace a television screen. Here is Malibu discussing his injury with Mike Adamle (Csonka was the color commentator in case you forgot).