Monday, January 7, 2008

The BCS Championship Drinking Game

Congratulations NCAA. Because of your dim-witted idea to push the national championship game back to January 7th, there is no buzz for the game tonight. Maybe if you had kept this game before the NFL Playoffs started, more people would be excited. Or maybe if you had the winner of this game play the winner of a USC-UGA matchup, people would be anticiping some actual finalilty to this amazing college football season. Instead, everyone seems more excited about night 2 of American Gladiators than the BCS Championship. At GDB, we feel its our responsibility to infuse this rather dull climax to the college season with the one thing guaranteed to add excitement....BREW!!! So without further adieu, here is your BCS Championship Drinking Game.

-Take 1 sip for each time Fox Cameras show either the LSU or OSU band during the game
-Take 5 sips for the first time the "BCS Controversy" is mentioned, and 2 sips every additional time it is brought up
-Take 2 sips for every highlight shown from last years championship in which OSU got dismantled
-Take 1 sip every time an announcer says "speed"
-Take 1 sip every time someone says the word "disrespected"
-Finish your beer if Jim Tressel is wearing a sweater vest
-Finish your beer if Les Miles messes with his hat during the game
-Pour out some beer each time Fox mentions how New Orleans is doing a great job of "Rebuilding the City" - (I had friends down in NO for the Sugar Bowl, and they drove through neighborhoods where people are living in tents, more than 2 years after Katrina)
-Throw a beer in the general direction of whatever announcer suggests that USC deserves consideration for number 1
-Take a sip each time a LSU player outruns a OSU player
-Take 5 sips every time an OSU play outruns a LSU player
-Finish your beer every time Thom Brennaman goes off on an meaningless rant about something wrong with college football during the game

If you follow these rules, you will either be so drunk or so angry by the end of the game that you will miss the shitty camera work of Fox, the promos for the awful new Fox TV shows coming soon, or the mangling of the english language by the worst host in the history of sports, Chris Rose.

And if you decide to switch over to American Gladiators instead but still want to drink, just take a sip each time Hulk Hogan says brother. Enjoy the game!!

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