MLB Power Poll

This is a new GDB feature that I'll be doing once a week to show the movers and shakers throughout the course of the Major League Baseball Season. In honor of Jackie Robinson Day, let's play ball. Well, we're about 3 weeks into the season (if you count the Japanese series by the BoSox and A's) and while it's still too early to tell who the contenders and pretenders will be in the playoff race, there's a lot of crazyness going on in the standings. Here's the current leaders in each Division as of this posting. In parentheses I've listed what place each team finished in last year's divisional standings.

AL East- Baltimore Orioles (4th)
AL Central- Chicago White Sox/Kansas City Royals (4th/5th)
AL West- Oakland Athletics/Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (3rd/1st)
NL East- Florida Marlins (5th)
NL Central- St. Louis (3rd)
NL West- Arizona (1st)

As you can see, there are numerous surprise leaders after the first 3 weeks. Besides Arizona, the rest of the leaders are probably long-shots to win their respective divisions (although Young Cicero I'm sure feels differently about his Red Birds). Still, it seems like every year there's an unexpected team leading their division during the home stretch. Last year it was the D-backs, the year before it was the Tigers. Will one of these teams shock the baseball world and continue to dominate throughout the summer? Keep your eyes open, because like the Western Conference in the NBA, the baseball standings seems to change everyday. Without further ado, let's check out the current power rankings as seen by the Young "Knasty" Knuckleballer.

1.) Arizona Diamondbacks (10-4)- A year ago, people would have probably sent me death threats for this one, but today it's not so outlandish. Arizona currently owns the best record in baseball. The D-backs are still one of the youngest teams in baseball, but some of their young ballers (Upton, Young, Jackson) have bloomed before our eyes and turned into legit power threats. Eric Boourns is still one of the most underrated players in baseball. The two headed monster on the pitching staff, Brandon Webb and Dan Haren have come out blazing and it looks like they might be growing another head (albeit a decrepit one) in Randy Johnson who pitched 5 scoreless with 7 K's yesterday. As long as the bullpen holds up, this team is going to be sticking up near the top for most of the year.
2.) Boston Red Sox (8-6)- Don't get me wrong I'm not a fan of the nation, and while the Red Sox don't even have a top 5 record right now, they are starting to flex their muscles a bit. What the numbers don't show is that Boston has had to deal with one of the toughest schedules in the big leagues so far. Traveling to Japan definitely drained them and then they had to come back and take on the Jays, Yanks, Tigers, and now Indians. A nice comeback win over Cleveland yesterday and taking 2 of 3 from the Yankees boosted the Sawx stock. It's scary that they've been able to do this basically with no Big Papi (he's batting under .100 on the year). The bottom line is the Defending World Champs are still one of the scariest teams in the game.
3.) LA Angels (9-6)- Rumors of the Angels demise were sorely overexagerrated. While the pitching staff is very banged up right now (no Escobar, Lackey, and partial K Rod), the offense has picked up the slack in a big way. The nasty Outfield of Vlad Guererro, Torii Hunter, and Gary Matthews have been red hot powering the Angels to 3 straight wins. Howie Kendrick is really developing into a possible batting crown champ and Chone Figgins as always is tearing up the basepaths (ML leading 7 steals). If Jered Weaver can continue to eat up innings until Lackey gets back in a couple of weeks (apparently he's already throwing off the mound) then the Angels are going to be in perfect position in mid-may.
4.) St. Louis Cardinals (9-4)- Who outside of Missouri called this one (or outside of Quincy)? The Cards have jumped out to the Central division lead thanks to outstanding collective performances from their pitching staff. Kyle Lohse leads the no-name rotation with a 2-0 record and 1.04 era!!! Jason Isringhausen continues to do a serviceable job in the 9th inning racking up 5 saves on the young season. Meanwhile, Albert Pujols is burning fantasy owners and pundits that left him for dead by batting .390 with 3 jacks. Rick Ankiel is proving that he doesn't need HGH to be a potent hitter. Another positive for the Cards is that they have a sundry of pitchers coming back from injury over the next few weeks (Joel Pineiro, Mark Mulder, and Chris Carpenter). This team doesn't necessarily thrill you, but they get the job done.
5.) Milwaukee Brewers (8-4)- The Brew Crew have really heated up lately taking 2 of 3 from the Mets this weekend. Ben Sheets has been arguably the best pitcher in baseball so far and is the only current pitcher this year to throw a complete game shutout. The Brew Crew haven't even had their biggest surprise stud pitcher from last year, Yovani Gallardo, throw a pitch yet. He'll come off the DL to start sometime this weekend. If these two thugs can stay healthy and young hurler Manny Parra can develop, then this could be one of the top rotations in baseball. We'll lay off Eric Gagne for now, but I don't know how happy Ned Yost is about having this walking explosion close games right now. We'll montor the situation. I haven't even mentioned Milwaukee's imposing line-up yet. Fantasy Flames, Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder haven't gotten into their groove yet and they are still scoring runs in bunches thanks to dual threat Corey Hart. It goes without saying that the Brewers are going to be challengers all year long.
6.) Chicago Cubs (7-5)- I realize I just listed three NL Central teams in a row, but that's just how things shook out this week. This just shows what a great race this division is going to experience this year. The Cubbies haven't been a model for consistency so far, but when they're on they're clicking, this is one dangerous group of ballers. The North Siders have a nice balance on their roster featuring a mix of speed and power. Kosuke Fukudome (insert japanese-themed sex joke) has been a pleasant surprise in Wrigley showing that he was worth the money. Meanwhile, Derek Lee is bouncing back from a mediocre season last year and Aarmis Ramirez is up to his old tricks at the hot corner. Alfonso Soriano has yet to show his enormous skill set so far, but it's only a matter of time. Speaking of slow starters, Rich Hill has been very shaky thus far and needs to show that he's going to imitate his first half of last year as opposed to his second half. Kerry Wood has been an adventure, but as everyone knows he has the stuff to be dominating. After writing this I'm starting to realize that this divisional race is going to be a blast to watch.
7.) Chicago White Sox (8-5)- It's only fitting that the two windy city teams are back to back. The Chi Sox have started the year in strong fashion thanks to a total demolition of the Detroit Tigers (5-1 against the Kittens so far). This team is so hard to figure out. They have remained virtually the same since 2005 and yet it seemed like they were going downhill. Well this year, the same roster (plus Nick Swisher and Carlos Quentin) have got it back together. Somehow they are blowing up the box scores while shutting down their opponent's line-ups. Don't ask me how they're doing it, it's a mystery to me. Who would have thought that this week's series between the O's and White Sox would be a battle of Division leaders?
8.) Baltimore Orioles (8-5)- Another mystery team. The O's looked to be almost certainly headed to the AL East basement after they lost Eric Bedard in an off-season trade. However, they managed to play fundamental baseball on their way to the divison lead in the AL East. Now, we all know this isn't going to last, but it's a nice story for now. George Sherrill (part of the Bedard trade) is leads the MLB in saves with 6 and the bullpen in general has been stellar. The offense has been carrying this team. Without Miguel Tejada, it looked bleak in Baltimore, but Nick Markakis, Brian Roberts and Luke Scott (!!!?!?!) have been wielding big bats so far and somehow the O's score in the big spots. Don't expect this to last.
9.) Oakland Athletics (9-6)- What can be said about this team? Another squad that nobody expected to be in the situation that they're in, but you can't argue with the record. The A's ran into the White Sox and lost 2 of 3, but before that, they swept the jays and took 2 of 3 from the Indians. It seems like Oakland is always a team that people underestimate because they don't have the flashy players that the rest of the American League trots out, but every year they win more games than you think they're going to because they play great small ball. They're scoring runs the Old fashioned way, with walks and steals and great fundamentals. They play excellent defense and have an a very good bullpen. Don't look for these guys at the top of the AL West during the All-star break, but for now they are giving their opponents a lot of problems with their pesky play.
10.) Philadelphia Phillies (7-7)- There are a couple of teams that could have taken this 10th and final spot, but I chose the Phils because I think they're better than their record shows. They haven't been swept yet and have been 4 losses by 1 run each. This team will win these close games more often than not because of the resurgence of (gasp!) Brad Lidge. He's been rock solid so far (knock on wood) and the Phillies hope it continues, because Tom Gordon belongs in a retirement home. Another thing holding Philadelphia back is that their offense has a gaping MVP size hole without Jimmy Rollins. The star shortstop has been slowed with a sore hammy this year and has barely played. Once he returns, this automatically becomes one of the top line-ups in baseball coupled with Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, and the suddenly hot-hitting Pat Burrell.

Dr. Burns Field Report - Lawrence, Kansas

Our good friend and correspondent Dr. Burns made the trip up to Lawrence, Kansas for last week's championship game. Here are her thoughts on one of the greatest games in NCAA history as she saw it go down in Jayhawk Country. This is a week late because she only sobered up yesterday to a point that she could type this......

What do you get when you stick 4 Jayhawk biotches in Lawrence for the national championship game? Below are the random thoughts and outbursts of Dr. Burns and her sidekicks: Arthur, Roteste and Norris.

Pregame:
11:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m. – Dr. Burns and Arthur watch the ESPN commentators hate on Kansas all day. Some choice quotes: "I still believe North Carolina is the better team" and "Kansas played great basketball for 30 minutes against the Tarheels, but Memphis plays great basketball for 40 minutes every game." Burns and Arthur ponder: When did ESPN start perpetually sucking Bobby Knight's nuts? I am fine with his input every now and then, but I am seeing entirely too much of that dude.
5:45 p.m. – Norris rolls into Lawrence after driving straight from Dallas by herself. The rest of the crew is convinced that Norris was driving with a diaper astronaut style to make that good of time.
5:48 p.m. – Burns is pissed to see that Norris broke from the master plan and showed up in a Honda Accord rather than a Ford Windstar. Burns: "How are we supposed to sleep in a van down by the river when you didn't bring the van?"
6:20 p.m. -- Someone mentions that the Reverend Jesse Jackson has been hanging out in the Memphis locker room all week giving the team pep talks. Way to pick a noble cause, Reverend. Sorry, but I would rather get a pep talk from Danny Manning than from Jesse Jackson any day.

First Half:
19:04 – Russ Rob block. Fat guy yells out, "They just got blocked by our shortest player!"
17:55 – Sweet dunk by Darrell Arthur AKA Shady. Recently voted player with the best rapping skills by the rest of the team. Although Swole says the nickname Slim Shady is an insult for a black dude to have, Burns still digs it.
16:39 – Enter Sasha Kahn AKA Mother Russia AKA Jaws from Bond. Burns orders a White Russian to pay her respects.
12:05 – That's 2 on Taggart. Norris starts talking mad shit to no one in particular.
11:33 – Alley-oop and Mother Russia throws it down. Burns imagines Mutombo voice: "Who wants to sex Kahn??!?!"
6:40 – Roy is spotted in the stands wearing a Jayhawk sticker. Burns pictures Hansbrough's bug eyes exploding out of his head upon seeing that.
5:08 – Another Kahn dunk. Whole bar starts chanting, "KAHN! KAHN! KAHN! KAHN!"

Halftime: Kansas 33, Memphis 28
- So Co Lime Shots for all. The blog turns mostly into illegible chickenscratch from here on out. Sorry.

Second Half:
14:00 -- Dorsey keeps getting in Cole Aldrich's face. Way to talk shit to a white guy from Minnesota, Dorsey.
12:25 – "Shouldn't they have Elvis as their mascot?"
9:00 – "That's right, Calipari. Clear off your bench."
2:00 – Memphis up 60-51. FUCK. Burns almost starts crying.
1:54 – Dorsey called for his fourth foul. Random guys screams, "That's right! Take that shit back to the streets!!"
0:03 – SUPER MARIO!!! SUPER MARIO!! SUPER MARIO!!
0:00 – Beer showers galore threaten to ruin the live blog. But quick as ever, Burns shields that shit.


8:10 a.m. – Dr. Burns wakes up to find that she passed out sitting straight up in the front seat of a Honda Accord with Norris sprawled out in the back. Seems like a raw deal until Burns realizes that the car is parked in a random hotel parking lot. Burns immediately moseys inside to hit up the continental breakfast.

A Baseball Card is Worth 1000 Words

I came across a Fox Sports Story about how the Topps Kids 1992 Baseball Card Set might have foreseen the steroid issue in baseball. That set featured MLB stars with cartoon like muscles (see above pictures). It's pretty funny how baseball used to be marketed in the 1990's. They wanted the game to seem larger than life and they thought the best way to show this to kids was by portraying their top athletes with gigantic caricatures of themselves. At the time, the game appeared to be relatively clean of performance enhancing drugs, but it's no wonder that in the late 90's, the biggest ballers in the game all became insanely huge in an effort to boost the popularity of the game by blasting more dingers. The ploy worked, but look at the cost today. Baseball's reputation has been sullied by the scores of cheaters that populated the game during the past decade. Who's fault is it really? The players had something to do with it, but would they have gone to such lengths to make themselves Andre the Giant-like if MLB wasn't pushing the image of "Bigger is Better". It's all thanks to Topps. Who knew the baseball cards we collected as kids would turn out to have Nostradamus powers?

In the spirit of this post, Here are the song lyrics to one of the greatest Simpsons episodes ever made about Monty Burns putting together the ultimate baseball team.

Well Mr. Burns had done it,
The power plant had won it,
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while,
Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile,
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the barroom tile...

We're talkin' softball...
From Maine to San Diego.
Talkin' softball...
Mattingly and Canseco.
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw.
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law.
We're talkin' Homer... Ozzie and the Straw.

We're talkin' softball...
From Maine to San Diego.
Talkin' softball...
Mattingly and Canseco.
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw.
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law.
We're talkin' Homer... Ozzie and the Straw

Behind the Scenes at the Kobe Commercial

By now, most of you have seen the Kobe Bryant Commercial where he jumps over an Aston Martin and clears it. It's clear that Kobe wouldn't be able to do this. Some thought he had a stunt double, others suspected that it was CGI, but nobody knew what really happened...until now. Here's the behind the scenes look at Kobe's Nike Commercial.

Run 'til you Die

This is a picture of Ereck Plancher. He was a football player at the University of Central Florida. He died after collapsing during a conditioning drill on March 18th, but that is not even while the story begins. We have seen athletes like Korey Stringer and Rashidi Wheeler die during conditioning drills, but neither of them died like Ereck Plancher did.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3341341

The above link tells the story of how Plancher was obviously struggling during conditioning drills, yet his own coaches insulted and disparaged him as he was in the process of dying before their very eyes. Four of his teammates are on record of how UCF coach George O'Leary singled out Plancher for finishing last in various drills and berated his effort in front of the entire team. Later that evening Plancher died, and UCF and O'Leary had to go into damage control. He has denied the reports stated by his own players, the ones who were taking part in the same drills as Plancher and were running side by side to a dying man.

After the high-profile deaths of the aforementioned Wheeler and Stringer, there were many reports of how college and pro programs alike would be more aware and understanding of players who were showing signs of physical weakness or possible life-threatening symptoms. Unfortunately it doesn't seem like these advances made it down to Orlando. At UCF it appears the same old draconian and macho attitude that lead to the death of numerous athletes before Plancher was not only still being applied, but even worse was being forced upon the members of the football team. If it is true that O'Leary (the same guy who lied on his application while trying to become coach at Notre Dame) and the rest of his assistants basically turned a blind eye to a dying player, then something a lot more serious than a half-baked claim of institutional change needs to take place. I would sure believe the statement's of Plancher's teammates over that of legendary douchebag O'Leary, and therefore I believe that not only should O'Leary and his staff be immediately fired but he should also be charged criminally in the role of Plancher's death.

I find it inconcievable first of all that a coach and his staff wouldn't be able to tell the difference between lack of effort and much more serious symptoms that were being shown by Plancher. As his own teammates stated, he was obviously having trouble breathing, yet none of the coaches saw him struggling and then compounded this mistake by basically saying he was half-assing a workout, (make that a pointless workout in MARCH, not the actual football season). If this is true, it not only violates the stated responsibility of a coaching staff to not only coach and train its players, but also monitor their well-being and physical stability. These coaches are trusted with their players lives, and frankly it looks like the coaches of UCF care more about the results of a mat drill than the actual lives of one of their players.

So here we are, almost a month after Plancher died. He is in the grave, having died for a conditioning drill, while O'Leary and his staff are still getting paid to supposedly run a football program. If this doesn't seem fair to you either, then lets hope that someone else besides a random blogger like myself makes it a point to bring this issue up to someone who can actually do something not only to murderers like O'Leary and the rest of the UCF coaching staff, but also the entire NCAA that unfortunately seems to turn a blind eye toward the well being of the very players that make them such a powerful organization.

58th Running of the Little 500

58^th Indiana University Little 500

April 12, 2008

There's a lot to look forward to in the beginning of April. You have the Masters "Toonament", the start of baseball season, and the NCAA Men's Basketball championship. But there are few sporting events bring the excitement of the Indiana University Little 500 Bicycle race. The 58^th running is shaping up to another exciting edition, with treacherous weather and an unorthodox start order the hot topics of discussion in the days leading up.

The favorites this year include a healthy mix of the usual GDI powerhouses and traditionally strong fraternities. Here is a look at the Young Contador's Power 10, with odds:

1. Black Key Bulls

BKB is led by this year's top rider, Isaac Neff. Neff and your's truly once came together as IU cycling teammates when we toyed with the field one Saturday afternoon at a Midwest Collegiate Cycling Conference road race. Our careers have gone in the complete opposite direction since that historic day: one crashing out the race and retiring a year later, the other winning ITT's and leading IU at Nationals. The '08 BKB squad is shaping up very similarly to the '06 DU team: one with three very strong riders supporting one alpha-male sprinter. If BKB's supporting cast can deliver Neff to the finish with less than 60 laps on his legs, they'll be the odds-on favorite to hoist the Borg Warner Trophy.
Odds: 3-1

2. Cutters

The defending champions will return the yellow jersey to the field, after the race went without a defending champ in '07 when ATO failed to qualify. They've lost star sprinter Alex Bishop to the domestic pro ranks, but Sasha Land will lead his band of stone cutting townies as an experienced three year veteran. It also doesn't hurt that he is about 28 years old. As always, they'll figure prominently into the overall race turnout.
Odds: 4-1

3. Phi Psi

Six time champion Phi Psi looks strong again and will be in the mix for a podium spot. Despite loosing two top riders from last year from their'06 campaign, the boys in red and green finally lived up to their potential, setting the pace and duking it out until the end and placed 2^nd. Though they lack the depth and sprint power of the previous two years, they'll likely stick on the lead lap late into the afternoon, and with a little luck, have a very good chance of getting to the podium.
Odds: 4-1

4. Dodds House

"Dude-on-Dude" will come into the race playing the underdog role, as they're not as strong as in years past. That said, they'll still be disappointed with anything less than a podium finish. They'll be led by standout and future pro Mike Sherer, but can he can get the job done in crunch time? With usually reliable Dan Houchens' ability headed south with too much time in the library, it remains to be scene whether or not "The House" can deliver the knock-out punch necessary to close the deal. Bottom line: they'll be on the lead lap at the end.
Odds: 4.5-1

5. Delta Upsilon

The GDB pick to click and beloved favorite of Young Cicero, Por'que and Knuckleballer. After taking the Dixie Heighway award last year with a Herculean effort from their departed captain, the team is now led by triathlete star rider Dave Richardson-Rossbach and financial mastermind Kyle Murphy. Murphy (pictured at right) missed the '07 edition, instead opting to take a hiatus to train in the Swiss Alps with two-time world time trial champion Fabian Cancellara. He's back with a vengeance this year and has the legs to go the distance. Look for him to lead the team in face time. The group is rounded out by campus socialite and all-rounder Pete Stevens and sprint specialist Steve Tratar. As always, the boys from east 3^rd will stay in it with the best exchanges of any team in the race.
Odds:6-1

6. Team Major Taylor:

Known more for the drama created by their divisive financier and coach, Courtney Bishop, TMT will again hope for a strong performance from Ali Camara, who will need to carry them. TMT began as an exclusively African-American group, but now boasts the most diverse team on the track with each rider hailing from a different heritage. Exchanges are always an issue for Camara – he looks like Steve Urkel when he tries to get on the bike. Fortunately one he gets up to speed, he rides like Stephan Urkelle. Nevertheless, their race tactics and coaching savvy are enough to put them in the hunt for a top 5 finish.
Odds: 8-1

7. Acacia:

AKAK is back – well, in the top 10 at least. After losing their top 2 riders to mono and medical school preparation, this three-time champion hopes to get the program back on track with a top ten finish. Look for Ahlberg and Mohammed to eat up lots of laps, and for the man they call "hot Carl" to sprint at the end.
Odds: 8-1

8. F1J1:

As a seven time champion, FIJI is certainly not lacking in tradition. What they are lacking however is the standout star sprinter they've had in recent years past. Despite a lacking a true track star, their mysterious training methods and infinite budget provide all the means necessary to be a top five contender. Though not really in the mix for the title, FIJI will have the biggest and loudest crowd, and probably a top 5 finish when all is said and done.
Odds: 9-1

9. Phi Delta Theta

PDT is back in the mix with a revived fraternity program that's making some noise. They're top rider placed second in ITT's and will have to carry them come race day. With only two riders with any experience, they'll be in the mix for a top 10, but likely out of the hunt for a podium spot.
Odds: 15-1

10. Sigma Alpha Mu

Sammies have been making some noise for a few years now and are beginning to gain the respect of the Little 5 community, especially when they took the pole position. That shouldn't suprise you too much though - Drew Kushnick took a pole head-on and lost in the '06 edition, when he collided with the traffic light on the inside of turn 1. If they can avoid the light poles in the turns, they should good to stick around for a top 10 finish.
Odds: 18-1.

*Very special thanks to Young Contador for this very special guest submission to GDB. See you on race day!

Seriously, go fuck yourself Brett Favre

I am at my breaking point with this guy. Over the years we've heard him glorified in the media on a level we've never seen before, despite plummeting production in the past decade. We've had to endure the ongoing saga of "will he or won't he retire" pretty much every off season. And of course last but not least, we've had to listen to announcers slurp up to Favre in every Packer game while forgetting they are actually there to announce a game, not talk about Favre for 3 hours.

So after he finally retired this spring, and the final accolades accumulated in honor of a hall of fame career, I was hopeful that was the last we heard of Favre. Reporters everywhere claimed that Favre was the type of guy "who would dissapear from public consciousness and rarely be heard of again." He was going home to Mississippi to ride his tractor and spend time with his family, and everyone was happy with that.

Unfortunately, and like so many other times in Favre's career, it seems like his retirement news conference was nothing more than a ploy for Favre to recieve the media attention he seems to so badly covet, despite constant reports to the contrary by Favre lovers like Peter King. It started last week when Sam Farmer of the LA Times reported that #4 had never officially signed retirement papers and that his agent was telling teams other than Green Bay that Favre may possibly be interested in playing for them this fall if their starter got injured. Favre vehemently denied the report, and claimed the same old excuses of how he has never been happier since his retirement decision. His name then went away for all of a week, before Brett decided to tell a reporter that he was thinking of coming back in the fall and thought he could still play in the NFL.

So where does that leave us with the most annoying quarterback ever to enter our consciousness? Well, pretty much the same place we've been with Favre every offseason over the last 5 years. Every offseason he says how he's thinking of retiring, then never really does and is glorified for returning for another year by his reporter lovers. What's so much different about this year, just the fact that he never formally retired but only recieved notoriety for holding a press conference. He also hasn't been practicing with the team, but then again he hasn't done that in the offseason the last 5 years either, being allowed to skip mandatory workouts because he needs personal time and because he is apparently a better family man than the other 65 players on the Packer roster. Finally, Favre is desperately trying to keep his name in the media and thus his ego satisfied by continuing to be cryptic with his decision to play this fall. I lambasted Terrelle Pryor for basically doing the same thing in his recruitment earlier this spring, but at least Pryor is a young 18 year old kid, Favre is doing the same thing at damn near 40 when he should have already learned something about humbleness and fairness.

It is so sickening that we are going to have to hear 3 more months of this bullshit. Every day some talking head is going to wonder whether Favre is really going to return, and Favre will happily eat up this speculation and string them all along because of his insatiable desire to remain relevant and popular in the social arena of sports. Think this story is annoying now, wait until mid-July when there's nothing else going on in sports and training camps are about to open, this shit will be played ad naseum to the point where the Terrell Owens and Roger Clemens coverage of years past will seem like a footnote on the ESPN bottom line.

I'll close this entry with a confession. When i was growing up i loved Brett Favre, pretty much because he seemed like the only guy with the sack to go up against the vaunted Dallas Cowboys, a team I've always hated. My good friend, Dan Paige, was a huge Dolphins fan and thus loved Dan Marino. We'd always argue about who was better and i would staunchly support Favre in any argument, even though Marino was the greatest quarterback alive. I haven't talked to my friend Dan in a long time, but if i could I'd let him know that I'd switched allegiances to his side in support of Marino. Favre may have his surpassed his records, and Favre may have a Super Bowl ring, but Favre is nowhere near the man Marino is. While many lamebrain's will remember Favre as some sort of deity, I'll see him as an ego-maniac who became so annoying late in his career that his playing greatness has been overshadowed by his selfish pride in the eyes of the common fan. So i'm imploring you to please just leave our lives Brett, and please realize that you can leave our public consciousness, but you will never leave the NFL record books. Isn't that good enough for you??

Knowshon hype is growing

While it may have taken the numbskulls at ESPN over a year to figure out who Knowshon is, them and the rest of the media are finally figuring out how good he is. Here is a solid piece from CNNSI about the top running back in America describing his path to becoming one of the greatest freshman running backs in NCAA history. And while the hyperbole being thrown about regarding UGA's 2008 football chances will probably get well out of hand by September, any praise sent 24's way is rightfully deserved

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/andy_staples/04/08/georgia.moreno/index.html

Breaking News

KOMU-TV's Chris Gervino is reporting right now, live at 10:30P.M. CST that the younger brother of AP Player of the Year Tyler Hansbrough, Ben Hansbrough, has announced that he will transfer from Mississippi State University. Ben Hansbrough started 28 games for Miss. St. this year.

Gervino also announced that there were five schools Hansbrough is looking to transfer to: Missouri, Indiana, Purdue, and two others too inconsequential to name. Gervino then pointed out that Missouri has no more scholarships to give, so Psycho-B would have to come to Missouri as a walk-on. Ummm yeah. Right.

Let's hope that he makes the right choice and goes to Indiana. He will give a reeling Hoosiers program a second success in a row, as well as give new Coach Tom Crean something to hang on his cap before he even coaches a game. Although the younger Hansbrough isn't quite the player that his brother was this year, who knows what could happen in time? Plus he will sit out a year, so he can learn the game and study Big 10 opponents, all while physically preparing him for his time as a Hoosier. Instead of Psycho-B his nickname might become "White Marco Killingsworth." Or at least we can hope so.

Hansbrough

Banzai

The Dollar is Looking... Not So Strong

Here is a nice picture of the kind of seat you can expect at the Final Four for the mere price of $275:



What in the hell are you paying for here, the atmosphere? These people are paying $275 to look a Jumbotron of the game that is being played about 500 feet away from them at an angle that makes it vitrually impossible to see even IF you managed to get your hands on some binoculars. And there is little doubt that the feed is going to be delayed, so everytime you hear the place erupt, you have to be wondering "What the hell happened?" until 5 seconds later when you see it yourself and cheer (or boo) with your little section.

I'm sorry, but for $275 I would much rather go to Lawerence or Memphis and watch the game at a bar and get absolutely tanked with TRUE fans ($275 can go a long way at a college bar). That atmosphere would have to S-H-I-T on this (especially if you managed to pick the site of the winner). I guess it would be nice to tell the grandkids that you were in the vicinity of one of the best National Championship games in recent memory.

(Insert overused and gay "Witnessing, but not really seeing, Mario Chalmers game tying miracle 3 - Priceless Mastercard joke here)

Yahoo! Copycats!

It looks like the staff writers at Yahoo! are running out of their own original ideas for stories, so they have resorted to copying some of my finest work from GDB.

Tell me if these two stories, both appearing on www.yahoo.com within the last 24 hours, look familiar?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080408/us_nm/mexico_absolut_dc

&

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=AtBxFL.BHJUB7P7gTmXF92LNycIF?slug=dw-olygamble040708&prov=yhoo&type=lgns


I guess myself and other GDB writers must remember that imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Most Clutch Ever?

ESPN had a poll today asking where Mario Chalmers "Hail Mary" 3 pointer to tie the game and send it into OT ranks all time amongst the most clutch shots in NCAA Tournament history. The choices were "Most Clutch Ever", "Top 3", "Top 5", etc. etc.

Naturally, Jayhawk nation had it being the most clutch ever. So that got me to thinking: where would I rank this as the most clutch shot in NCAA Tournament history? After a few minutes of thought, here are my choices:



#1.) 1987 - Indiana vs. Syracuse (NCAA Championship Game)

Probably not the shot everyone thought would be number 1, but in my opinion, this was the most clutch shot in NCAA Tournament history. Sure, there were similar amazing shots (and more famous ones, like the one below this) that have been made in the tournamment, but Keith Smart's jumper was drained in the National Championship game, the biggest stage, to put Indiana ahead by a point to win the title.



#2.) 1992 - Duke vs. Kentucky (East Regional Final)

This is arguably the most famous and known shot in, not only NCAA, but basketball history. 2.1 seconds left. Grant Hill to inbound (GUARD THE INBOUNDER!!), toss to Laettner, fakes right, turns and nails it. While this shot is far more famous than the Keith Smart jumper, I would argue that it isn't nearly as clutch as that shot. That game sent Duke into the Final Four where they would go on to win their second straight NCAA title. It is remembered because it was an amazing shot, but all it did was send them to the Final Four. No one remembers what happened after that, except that Duke won the National Championship. Had he missed the shot that would have sent Duke to the Final Four, it would not have seemed like as big of a miss as if Keith Smart had missed the shot to win Indiana the title.



#3.) 2007 - Kansas vs. Memphis(NCAA Championship Game)

I would rank this as the 3rd most clutch shot in NCAA Tournament history when you look at all the elements that went into the shot. It was the championship game. KU had stormed back, down by 9 points with 2 minutes left. Memphis could have put the game away, but couldn't hit their free throws. 3 seconds left. And he drains an off balanced 3 with a man right in his face to preserve the game and win it in overtime.

Memphis Final Preview

At the beginning of the NCAA Tournament, Memphis was supposed to be the first number 1 seed to be eliminated. In fact, the haters have been chirping all year that the Tigers are overrated. The only time they were the 1 seed was after they were the only undefeated team left in the country, and they promptly lost to Tennessee to lose the top spot. Still they finished the year with just one loss and all the momentum in the world. People said they couldn't make a long run in the Tourney because they weren't battle tested in a weak Conference USA. It only seems fitting that the team that no one believed in is now in the title game. John Calipari's band of merry men haven't really been truly threatened by any squad in March Madness so far. They plastered MSU and Texas by 19 points each before eliminating the Knuckler's predicted champ UCLA by 15 on Saturday. Tonight, they face a stacked Kansas roster ready for a battle, and you can bet Memphis is prepared to give them one. Let's take a gander at the Tigers five keys for victory.

1.) Circulating the game through Derrick Rose. The best player on the floor needs to be the center of attention this game. As long as he can control the flow of the game, the Tigers will be in great position to cut down the nets. Like Furry said, "Desert Rose" has straight dominated this Tourney. Not only has he stepped up his game, but the rest of the team realizes that in order to be successful, the Freshman phenom needs to touch the ball every possession. Whether he's tossing up a monster alley-up for Joey Dorsey, or creating an open mid-range jay off a screen, he's probably going to take over as long as the rock is in his hands.
2.) Chris Douglas-Roberts must penetrate the lane more than Peter North. When CDR gets a full head of steam, he's very difficult to stop. He doesn't have the all-around talent that Lebron possesses, but he can drive almost as well as the King. The Monster of the Motor city is one of the most explosive guards in all of college basketball and makes up the best backcourt tandem in all the land.
3.) Chalkin' it up from the Charity Stripe. The Tigers biggest crux heading into the tourney was their inability to cash in on the Free Throw line. That's why many so-called experts predicted an early demise in the tourney. Memphis has seen quite a reversal in fortune during Smarch Madness though, converting on nearly 80% of their Free Throw attempts. A big part of the success has hinged on the afformentioned CDR. Whenever he drives, there's a very strong chance that he'll either score or get fouled. In the NCAA tournament he has made 45 of his 54 FT opportunities. Including 9/11 against the Bruins. If he can put up a similar ratio in this contest, it could really make the difference down the stretch.
4.) Force the Jayhawks to become sloppy papi's. Not many teams in basketball turn the ball over as much as KU. Even with a convincing win over UNC, they still had 19 TO's. If Memphis can keep the aggressive defense at on high octane, the 'Hawk's are going to have more Turnover's than Marwan at the breakfast buffet. Kansas had better hope it's not 19 though, because a repeat of that stat could be a death blow to their title hopes. Look for the Tigers to pounce on the Jayhawks early and often tonight.
5.) Dominate the Paint. Joey "Deez Nuts" Dorsey has been putting his balls to the wall over the past couple of weeks on his way to shutting down the inside game of every opponent. K Love wasn't his usual self thanks to Dorsey dropping an epic deuce on his face. Joey is going to need to be even better against Kansas on both ends of the floor. Considering the 'Hawks height, Dorsey's average of 10 boards per game is no gimme. Sasha Kahn (artist) ate up the Heel's on Saturday and the battle will be on inside in this game to see who can get the upper hand.

Tyler Hansbrough

5 Important Factors for the Jayhawks Tonight

Saturday was a pretty good night for the Jayhawks. Not only did they win a huge game over UNC, but they also did it against ex-coach and legendary cryer Roy Williams. The icing on the cake is how they turned media darling Tyler Hansbrough into the next Mark Madsen. That game took so much energy out of KU that its going to be a challenge to match the emotional intensity even though tonight's game is for all the marbles. So what are 5 factors that are imperative for Kansas in tonight's game? Lets take a look

1. Stopping Derrick Rose. No player has been as dominant in this tournament as the Chicago-bred freshman. He's been the most athletic player in the tournament as well as the best all-around player in the entire field. Rose has torn up a who's who of point guards as well on the path to the final game including Jamont Gordon, Drew Neitzel, DJ Augustin and Darren Collison. Fortunately for Kansas, they have three awesome perimeter defenders who could possibly contain him. Russell Robinson, Supernintendo Chalmers and Sherron Collins made Tywon Lawson look like Greg Paulus and also shut down the scorching hot Stephen Curry in the Elite 8. They will have to be at their defensive best tonight against Rose, because he is better than anyone they have faced all year. A good sign for Kansas is that their three guards can either go big with Chalmers, play physical with Collins, or match up in speed with Robinson. Maybe the different looks will slow down Rose and get him off his game, because if he dominates like he has lately Memphis is going to be very tough to defeat.

2. Get shots for Brandon Rush. Memphis has played some of the best perimeter defense in the tournament. Where smaller players have withered against the lengthy Tiger defenders, Brandon Rush will have to use his size to get off good shots and provide the Jayhawks with a go-t0-guy on offense. Rush had a really good game against UNC despite his shot not falling, but he will have to both make his shot and penetrate tonight to keep the Memphis defenders honest. Rush has had a tendency to dissapear for long stretches of games, but he cannot do that tonight. Tonight is the reason why he returned to school, he must play like its his last game.

3. Find some inside production. Sasha Kaun and Darrell Arthur have had nice stretches during games, but they have not been consistent enough to get past a team like Memphis tonight. Kansas is going to need an inside presence to keep Joey Dorsey and Robert Dozier honest on defense. If Mother Russia and Arthur can establish inside play and get those guys in some foul trouble, then they will not be able to aggresively help on the penetration of the Jayhawks perimeter players.

4. Control Turnovers. Memphis has been feeding off of the turnovers of their opponents. There is simply no way to stop Derrick Rose and Chris Douglas-Roberts in the open court. And while Kansas has good ball handlers they have a tendency to get out of control. Their mistakes in the open court let UNC make the big comeback and they must be more careful with the ball tonight. The tempo is going to be fast and Memphis will be trying to poke the ball away from dribblers the entire night. If Collins and Robinson are playing out of control and giving the ball away to the Tigers, the Jayhawks might lose by 20.

5. Keep the game close. Kansas is the more veteran team and is battle-tested. If the game is close they get the decided advantage thanks to their ability to go to multiple options and because they are the better free throw shooting team. Its no coincidence that Memphis' only loss, to Tennessee, and their only close game in the tournament, to Mississippi State, occurred when an open-court game turned into a half-court game in the final minutes. While Rose can still create in those situations its much easier to shut down the Tigers because the big guys and Antonio Anderson will not look for their shots. Free throws will probably not be a huge deal because the ball will be in Rose and CDR's hands and they shoot it well, but Calipari is an awful coach in close games as exhibited in his coaching decisions down the stretch in the Tennessee game. While Bill Self is no John Wooden either, I think he's more prepared to keep his team under control and make the right play if its a close game than Calipari is. If its a 2 point game after the under 4 timeout, Kansas will be right where they want to be.

MLB Opening Week observations

What a crazy first week in baseball. Scrub teams everywhere are blowing up while some of the top teams are off to a pathetic start. Lets recap and see some of the trends that emerged in week 1.

- It looks like the Tigers have put 2002 in the time machine and stepped right back to patheticness. All the hitters are pressing, the pitching has been dubious and there does not appear to be any relief ahead. The Tigers next 4 series are against the Red Sox, their nemesis the White Sox and two against the dangerous Blue Jays. 0-6 is bad enough, but when combined with the division and league they play in, another 2 bad weeks could prove fatal.

- The Sawks and Yanks are looking very ordinary. The Sawks catch a break i guess because of their awful scheduling, but that starting pitching doesnt look nearly as good as last year. The Yankees just look old, with fossils like Mike Mussina and Andy Pettitte looking completely washed up.

- Young Cicero must have been doing a lot of dick sucking in the last week, because his Cardinals are outrageous right now. Props goes to Dave Duncan for turning around a staff full of bum pitchers. Who knows how long they can keep it up, but the good fans of St. Louis will hopefully get a few months to root for this team while they are in contention.

- Johnny Cueto is illa dilla. His biggest problem is that his new manager is Dusty Baker, who turned the equally ill Mark Prior into a big pile of worthless within three seasons. If Cueto's arm survives his manager's destructive tendencies, he could be the next Pedro.

- Congratulations to the scheduler who made the Tigers and Cubs play at home early in the season, while the Rays and Rangers opened on the road. I guess this numbskull didn't realize that its still cold in the great lakes in the first week of April. Maybe he's drinking a little too much of that Al Gore Global Warming Kool-Aid.

- As a frustrated fantasy manager who owns Felix Hernandez, I'm excited by his first 2 starts but am also ready to gut the entire Seattle blowpen for costing him 2 victories by letting the scrub-ass Orioles come back in the 9th.

- Whoever thought it was a good idea to give Barry Zito 126 million dollars should be deported.

- I didnt think it was possible, but Steve Phillips seems like even more of a pedophile now that the rest of the Baseball Tonight slobs are referring to him as "Silver"

- If Ben Sheets is healthy, the Brew Crew could win 100 games. Eric Gagne needs to be sent out to pasture though, what a legendary HGH has-been.

- 4 days until the first Yanks-Sawks game of the season, which means 4 days until I jump off a cliff.

- Every Cubs fan that thinks its funny to say "Fuck you do me" in honor of Kosuke Fukudome is not only woefully unfunny, but is also a perfect example of the type of douchebag fans that have overtaken Wrigley Field to the point that its legendary crowds are now vastly overrated and unliked.

Baller-In-Chief

Two things that everyone I know seems to have an opinion about: Barack Obama and Eric Gordon. And it turns out that even Obama has his two cents to offer on Young EJ, recently telling the Indianapolis Star that "he could use some guidance." What does Sen. Obama believe Gordon needs to receive guidance about? Does he believe that Gordon needed better advice about whether or not to enter the NBA? Gordon seems determined to do so, and despite fading down the stretch of the season, he is still projected as a top 10 pick. It is true that Gordon's shooting accuracy and turnover rate were atrocious during the last seven games of the season. Was it due to the loss of benevolent dictator Kelvin Sampson? The result of having played almost every minute of every game of a more grueling schedule than he was used to? Perhaps the fact that we recently learned, that his wrist was actually broken the entire time he claimed it was just sprained, that caused him to lose the incredible form he exhibited over the first ten games or so of the season. Maybe Senator Obama was speaking as an Illinois resident (and presumably an Illini fan) who thinks EJ got bad advice about reneging on a commitment to Bruce Webber to play for his home state school. Who knows? All I know is that this is the guy we got, and he was a damn special player:



I can think of a few NBA teams that might like to have a freakish athlete like this on their roster. The NBA drafts on potential, otherwise Tyler Hansbrough and Brandon Rush would be top-five picks. And as far as potential goes, Gordon has it and then some.

*Thanks to Young Illiniwek for brining the Obama quote to GDB's attention.

Absolut Insult

The Absolut Vodka company is planning on running an advertising campaign in Mexico using this image:


The map represents the pre-Mexican War boundaries of the U.S. and Mexico. After that war in 1848, the two northernmost territories of Mexico, Alta California and Santa Fe de Nuevo Mexico, became State property and sovereign territory of the United States of America. People in Mexico think they were robbed of their rightful land, but it was really just sparsely populated land on the fringe of their territory that Americans migrated to in huge numbers. You can't stand in the way of Manifest Destiny.

Eventually war became inevitable and after a few battles in southern Texas, a small army of mostly volunteers and led by the general-in-chief himself, Winfield Scott, made an amphibious landing at Vera Cruz, on the east coast of Mexico. The army, whose junior officers were mostly men who went on to become leaders in the Civil War (Grant, Lee, Sherman, etc.) outmaneuvered and outfought the Mexicans all the way to Mexico City. They took the capital and negotiated the Treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo, which created the border we have today.

Absolut could not put forward a more inappropriate image as a marketing tool. Besides the fact that it is upsetting to any patriotic American, with the current border crisis going on it is extremely ill-timed. Just think if someone tried to sell beer in Iran or Syria with pictures of the map before Israel existed was pictured on the cans?

Thanks for nothing Absolut, except giving me a good reason to drink any other type of vodka besides yours.

Western Conference Playoff Race

Nobody in America gives a shit about the Eastern Conference since we all know that either the Celtics or Pistons is going to win it, but the west is a whole different story. With 9 teams separated by less than 8 games as of today, everything is still up for grabs. Lets break things down GDB to try and figure out the maelstrom that is the Western Conference

Current Standings
1 New Orleans 52-22
2 San Antonio 52-23
3 LA Lakers 51-24
4 Utah 50-26
5 Phoenix 50-25
6 Houston 50-25
7 Dallas 47-28
8 Denver 46-29
9 Golden State 45-30

Now lets go team by team to see what the stretch run holds for each

New Orleans 52-22
Remaining games: NY Knicks, Golden State, Utah, @Minnesota, @LA Lakers, @Sacramento, LA Clippers, @Dallas
Predicted Record: 5-3, finishing season 57-25
Analysis: The Hornets have not fallen off at all despite some injury concerns and a shallow bench. Chris Paul is simply too good and too determined to let this team slide, but the road is tough over the last 2 weeks of the season. Three tough road games surround 2 difficult home games against playoff contenders.

San Antonio 52-23
Remaining Games: @Utah, @Portland, Phoenix, Seattle, @LA Lakers, @Sacramento, Utah
Predicted Record: 5-2, finishing season 57-25
Analysis: Its been a roller coaster season for the Spurs. Sometimes they look as good as ever, sometimes they simply look old and decrepit. From past history, we'd have to believe that the good stretch they are on right now will last into the playoffs. I predict they'll lose 2 of their remaining 4 road games, but be able to win all their home games to tie the Hornets for top record in the division.

LA Lakers 51-24
Remaining Games: Dallas, @Sacramento, @Portland, @LA Clippers, New Orleans, San Antonio, Sacramento
Predicted Record: 6-1, finishing season 57-25
Analysis: The Lakers now have Pau Gasol back in the lineup and have a favorable schedule down the stretch. They may slip up once on the road, but their three toughest games remaining are at home and by the time the Hornets and Spurs come to town, Gasol will be back at full strength.

Utah 50-26
Remaining Games: San Antonio, @New Orleans, @Dallas, Denver, Houston, @San Antonio
Predicted Record: 3-3, finishing season 53-29
Analysis: Good lord what a brutal finishing stretch for the Jazz. I'm calling an even split with them winning all their home games and losing all their road games, but after these next 6 games will their be anything left in the tank for when the playoffs start?

Phoenix 50-25
Remaining Games: Minnesota, Dallas, @Memphis, @San Antonio, @Houston, Golden State, Portland
Predicted Record: 5-2, finishing season 55-27
Analysis: Not a bad stretch of games to finish up the regular season in spite of a Texas Two-Step thrown in the mix. It is very possible they drop a home game though if Grant Hill takes longer to return, but it does seem like this team has hit its stride with Shaq in the lineup now.

Houston 50-25
Remaining Games: @Seattle, @LA Clippers, Seattle, Phoenix, @Denver, @Utah, LA Clippers
Predicted Record: 3-4, finishing season 53-29
Analysis: That road game against the Clip Joint looks a lot tougher now that Elton Brand is back, and a 3 game losing streak against the Suns, Nouglats and Jazz is very possible. Its still amazing the position this team is in after losing Yao, so some stumbles down the stretch would not be the worst thing to happen

Dallas 47-28
Remaining Games: @LA Lakers, @Phoenix, Seattle, Utah, @Portland, @Seattle, New Orleans
Predicted Record: 3-4, finishing season 50-32
Analysis: With Dirk not at 100 percent yet, I see no way the Mavs can win against either the Lakers or Suns this weekend. I also think they stumble against Portland, leaving the final home game of the season against the Hornets as a make-or-break game for the playoffs. The game will be much easier if the Hornets didn't have anything to play for, but chances are they will be fighting the Spurs for the division lead which means they will want the game really bad. Right now i don't think the Mavs can win with their injury problems, but by then they may have enough to overcome CP3.

Denver 46-29
Remaining Games: Sacramento, @Seattle, @LA Clippers, @Golden State, @Utah, Houston, Memphis
Predicted Record: 4-3, finishing season 50-32
Analysis: After playing Sacramento, the Nugs embark on a crucial 4 game road trip. Their matchup against the Warriors may be the game of the year in the NBA, but that crowd is going to be so hyphy that its hard to imagine Denver winning there. Their lack of defense and inconsistenty will probably cause them to drop a game they should win, yet the 2 home games at the end of the season should mean they tie Dallas in wins at 50.

Golden State 45-30
Remaining Games: @ Memphis, @New Orleans, Sacramento, Denver, LA Clippers, @Phoenix, Seattle
Predicted Record: 5-2, finishing season 50-32
Analysis: Getting blown out twice in a row didn't help the Warriors playoff chances at all. Therefore they face a must win tonight in Memphis, because its going to be really hard to beat CP3 in New Orleans on Friday. After that 4 of their last 5 games are at home and they will probably have to win all of them to make the playoffs. The Warriors play with such energy and passion at home that i think they do it, making it a 3 way tie for 8th place in the west.

Predicted Final Standings
1 New Orleans 57-25, Central Division Winners
2 San Antonio 57-25
3 LA Lakers 57-25 Pacific Division Winners
4 Utah 53-29, NW division Winners
5 Phoenix, 55-27
6 Houston 53-29
7 Dallas 50-32, 3-1 head to head vs GS, 1-2 head to head vs Denver
8 Golden State 50-32, 1-3 head to head vs Dallas, 1-1 head to head vs Denver
9 Denver 50-32, 2-1 head to head vs Dallas, 1-1 head to head vs GS

Breakdown
As you can see we are headed for a clusterfuck the size of Marwan's beer gut. I had no intentions of the records ending up the way they did, and quite honestly, I have no idea how to place one team on top of another with the same records. The bottom line is nothing is going to be decided until the last game of the season and if anyone predicts the final standings correctly they did it through blind luck. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy these 2 weeks of the regular season because we've never seen anything like this before

2008 All-Tournament Team

Now that we are down to the Final Four, its a good time to list which players have been at their best in the big games and did the most for their team in the month of March

1st Team
G - Stephen Curry, Davidson. No player made more of a lasting impression on the tournament than Curry, and no player did more for his team. Curry averaged over 20 points in the second half alone during Davidson's run, and despite only shooting 9-25 against Kansas, the Jayhawks still sent 3 players at him in the final possession so that he could not get a shot off. Without a doubt, Curry will be the most exciting returning player in the nation next year
G - Derrick Rose, Memphis. No player seemed more NBA-ready as a freshmen than Derrick Rose did. I remember seeing him play against Duke early in the year and he was constantly out of control and making awful decisions. But his two performances in beating MSU and Texas not only proved he was the best player on the court, but could possibly turn out to be the best freshmen in this class. No one has more athleticism and talent, and the rate at which he is learning the game is absolutely frightening. Please Seattle draft this guy.
F- Joe Alexander, West Virginia. While it hurt to watch him miss a potential game-winning free throw against Xavier, Alexander proved over the last month that he is All-America material. He destroyed Duke by displaying the best mid-range game in the country and helped make WVU one of the most overachieving teams in the nation.
F - Kevin Love, UCLA. Tim Duncan may be the Big Fundamentals, but Kevin Love sure seems to be the next in line. He seems to do every aspect of the game well whether it be in the paint, at the three point line, or at the defensive end. People keep saying he's not going in the top-10 of this years draft, which means a lot of people either haven't watched him play in this year's tournament or ride a little ass yellow bus to their day jobs.
C - Tyler Hansbrough, UNC. Look we're all annoyed at how Hansbrough has turned into the Brett Favre of college basketball the way announcers slurp up to him, but he has been great in this tournament. If UNC wins the title, his ability to hit a 15 foot jumper like how he did to win the Louisville game, which subsequently opened up his post game, will have been the key.

2nd Team
G - Mario Chalmers, Kansas. One of the most complete guards in the nation. His defensive efforts help shut down Scottie Reynolds and Stephen Curry, and he also hit huge shots to help Kansas finally get to the Final Four. You get the feeling if he wasn't on a team as deep and talented as the Jayhawks, he could probably average 20 points a game.
G - Dewon Brazelton, Western Kentucky. His cinderella efforts were easily forgotten thanks to the attention Stephen Curry got, but no player proved he belonged at a big-time program more than this guy. One of the quickest penetrators in the country, he helped the wacky Hilltoppers to the sweet 16, and kept them close with UCLA all throughout their matchup.
F - Chris Douglas-Roberts, Memphis. Another guy who probably doesnt get the credit he really deserves. He is an all-around player who can score seemingly whenever he wants, and is long enough to shut down any shooting guard or small forward in America. Watch a bunch of idiot teams pass on him in the draft so that he goes to a good team, and turns into another Tayshaun Prince type player for a contending team.
F - Earl Clark, Louisville. He was the best and the most talented player on a really good Louisville team. This dude can do it all and is extremely athletic for a 6-8 guy. Not many people may know him now, but I guarantee you hear about him next year.
C - Brook Lopez, Stanford. OK he likes Disney movies and looks like a Menendez Brother, but if you saw him absolutely dominate the Marquette game, you know that this freak show can ball.

3rd team
G - DJ Augustin, Texas
G - Jason Richards, Davidson
F - Brandon Rush, Kansas
F - Luc Richard M'Bah A Moute, UCLA
C - Josh Duncan, Xavier

All-Bum Team
G - Greg Paulus, Duke. I had to put the most overrated player on the most overrated team in the country on the list. Not only does he always play like ass in big games, his bitch-like attitude guarantees that Duke will always be everyone's least favorite team in the tournament.
G - Eric Gordon, Indiana. I am going to suspect that Gordon was just burned out from the amount of minutes he played all year and the Kelvin Sampson saga, but he was absoutely terrible down the stretch for Indiana. While its obvious he has a lot of talent, there is no way he should go pro this year because his decision-making and strength is about on par with Rashad McCants, and no thats not a compliment.
F - JP Prince, Tennessee. For some reason this guy thought he was Bob Cousy and tried to dribble all over the place for the Vols. This predictably led to tons of turnovers and was one of the main reasons none of the other Vols played up to their potential. This guy's fine playing off the ball and cutting to the basket, he should just leave the dribbling to the guys that can actually dribble.
F - Chase Budinger, Arizona. All season long I hear about how good this guy is, and then every time I see Arizona play all i see is some goofy white guy standing around the perimeter either shooting an awful three or driving to the hoop for a guaranteed turnover. His defense is also awful so excuse me for not seeing what all the hype is all about.
C - Drew Naymick, MSU. This guy has been garbage the second he got to East Lansing. He has hands of brick, a jump shot that would make his mama cry and no defensive ability other than hack his opponent. The way Joey Dorsey made him and the whole Spartans team his bitch was flat out embarrasing. I will dance a jig the day this guy leaves Sparty for good. What a trick ass mark

So Fresh and So Crean

Hoosier Nation's long national nightmare is over. And it awoke to the real-life version of being safely in your bed at 10:00 a.m. on a Saturday, with nothing to do but watch sports and lay on the couch. For everyone who was ready to vomit on more than one occasion while watching IU stumble its way through an embarrassing cheating scandal, botched "firing", off-his-rocker interim coach, starters dismissed, and who knows what else, I have this to say: We are going to be all good. IU finally hired the man who should have had the job two years ago. And why? Here's why:

Why Crean was smart to come to IU:
-Big time money
-He cut his teeth in the Big Ten (Assistant coach at Michigan St.)
-He recruits that area (Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan, Indiana)
-Chance to establish his own era at a school still searching for someone to fill The General's shoes
-Better facilities (AH holds a good number, ground broken for state-of-the-art practice center)
-Basketball is king in Indiana, especially at IU

Why IU was Smart to get Crean:
-Big "name" coach
-Has led a team to the Final Four
-Knows the Mid-West (Asst. at Pitt, Michigan St., W. Kentucky, Head Coach in Milwaukee, Wis.)
-Averaged 20 wins a year
-Workaholic who can right a wayward ship
-Pedigree (family includes Stanford and Baltimore Ravens football head coaches)
-Young enough to be here a long time (41 years old)
-Not even a whiff of past recruiting violations
-Proven winner

All of this considered, it was almost a must-do for Indiana. I honestly believe that Crean, along with Mark Few, should have been the only guys considered for the job that ultimately became Sampson's in 2006. This time around, he was overshadowed by "reach" names like Izzo, Matta, Pitino, Pearl, etc. as well as young(er) guys like Tony Bennett and Sean Miller. Throw in usual suspects such as alumns Steve Alford and Randy Whitman, NBA has-beens Mike Montgomery and Scott Skiles, plus wild-cards like Lon Kruger, and you've got yourself a coaching-carousel shit-show. I'm glad to see the cream rose to the top and the right man got the right job at the right time. A man who respects tradition and has a tireless work ethic, like Crean supposedly does, has the sky as his limit with a destination job like IU in his hands. Go ahead and laugh but even with impending NCAA sanctions IU is still a member of the "Big 6" of college basketball: UCLA, Kentucky, Indiana, Kansas, Duke, and North Carolina. Crean could easily join the likes of Branch McCracken, Fred Taylor, Jud Heathcote, and Bob Knight in the Pantheon of Big Ten greats, just like Tom Izzo and Bo Ryan are well on their way to doing.

Consider Crean's record at Marquette (playing/recruiting against the likes of Georgetown, Syracuse, Louisville, Notre Dame, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Michigan St., etc.):
-190-96 as MU head coach, over 9 seasons
-90-56 conference reocrd
-5 NCAA tournament appearances
-1 Final Four
-1 Conference Title & Conference Tourney Title (CUSA)

If he can do that at Marquette, a small Catholic school in Milwaukee that is a mid-level Big East School, think of what he can accomplish at IU!

Five Banners Is Not Enough!


UPDATE: When asked today at his press conference why he would leave Marquette for IU, Coach Crean had this to say:
"'It's Indiana. It's Indiana,' he repeated. 'It's the absolute pinnacle, and that's to be the head basketball coach of Indiana University.'"

I love this guy even more every minute!!

2008 Fantasy Prognostications

Fantasy, as well as the MLB, season is upon us!! Hooray! In honor of this hallowed rite of spring, I'd like to offer a few predictions for the fantasy season...a season in which otherwise-unknowns like Delmon Young and Ryan Zimmerman can be crucial to a team, where defense doesn't matter, where people are even more concerned about closers-in-waiting and blown saves than the actual teams dealing with them, and where A-Rod is, well, still basically A-Rod.




Fantasy MVP: Alex Rodriguez - the guy is an animal

Fantasy Bust: Scott Kazmir-say hello to the new Ben Sheets/Rich Harden?

Best Hitter: A-Rod-duh

Best Pitcher: Justin Verlander-"the juggernaut"

Breakout Hitter: Kosuke Fukudome-Ichiro with pop

Breakout Pitcher: Brian Bannister-more run support + expirience = bright spot in KC

Most HR: Ryan Howard-they still can't test for HGH!

Most RBI: A-Rod-the Yankees lineup is still good

Most Runs: Jimmy Rollins-he's not even 30

Best AVG/Batting Title: Robinson Cano-finally delivering on the promise

Best ERA: Jake Peavy-he's that damn good

Most Wins: Justin Verlander-easy to rack up W's pitching for an All-Star team

Most Strikeouts: Justin Verlander-he brings the gas, too

Most Saves: J.J. Putz-he did it last year, and the team is only getting better

Player who regains the most fantasy-relevance: Andruw Jones-free of Contract-year distraction

Player who will get hurt soon and crush their owners' hopes: Kerry Wood and/or Ben Sheets

New York Yankees Preview

2007 Record: 94-68
We wrap up or 2008 MLB Team previews with the Evil Empire. It's only fitting that "America's Team" (or is that America's most hated team?) finishes off our epic 30 team in-depth coverage. Although we weren't able to get it done in 30 days (cough Porque is a BN cough cough) we did complete every team preview before each squad threw out their first pitch. This was aided a bit by the Yanks and Jays game being postponed today, but a win is a win here at GDB. Anyway, on to the analysis. The Yankees made the playoffs last year but were bamboozled by the Indians in the ALDS. Their pitching woes couldn't pick up the slack for their always stellar line-up and a blunder of a signing of Roger "Needles in my ass" Clemens went horribly wrong. Surprisingly, most things stayed the same in the Big Apple (outside of the manager and GM leaving town/dieing), but if the Yankees don't finish better this season, look for many more personnel changes in the near future. By the way, every toolbag in Binghamton is a Yankees fan and I'm already starting to hate them as much as the Red Sox.

Key Additions
Morgan Ensberg 3B
Latroy Hawkins RP
Hank Steinbrenner GM
Joe Girardi Manager

Key Losses
Roger "Roid Rage" Clemens SP
Doug Mientkiewicz 1B
George Steinbrenner GM
Joe Torre Manager

Projected Line-up
1) Johnny Damon LF
2) Derek Jeter SS
3) Bobby Abreu RF
4) Alex Rodriguez 3B
5) Jorge Posada C
6) Hideki Matsui DH
7) Robinson Cano 2B
8) Jason Giambi/Shelley Duncan 1B
9) Melky Cabrera CF

Offensive Grade: A-...Don't sleep on the Yanks line-up. They aren't exactly young, but they are a strong veteran bunch that will give pitchers fits this year. Damon doesn't really apply to this situation, he has declined severely over the last 2 years and isn't really an ideal lead-off man anymore. Jeter is one of the most consistent players in baseball and fits well in the 2 hole. Abreu is no spring chicken, but he's still a 25/25 threat. Gay Rod had one of the best seasons in recent memory last season and will look for a second straight MVP award with another strong season. Posada had a career year last year and is one of the best all-around catchers in the game. Matsui is a crazy jap but when healthy has some serious pop. Cano is up and comer that could become an elite 2nd baseman over the next couple years. Giambi has kind of fallen off the map now that he's not on the juice, but his power potential is still there. Duncan and Cabrera are harmless but not too shabby for where they are in the line-up. Overall this is a top 5 offense in baseball once again.

Projected Rotation
1) Chien-Ming Wangggggg
2) Andy Pettite (DL)
3) Phil Hughes
4) Mike Mussina
5) Ian Kennedy
CL) Mariano Rivera

Pitching Grade: C+...Pettite should be back relatively quickly so I'm not gonna take him out. He's dropped off quite a bit in production since the beginning of last year, and this could be his last season. Considering he admitted to using HGH, his legacy has been greatly tarnished outside of NY. Wang is a servicable Top Starter. He was good for 19 wins the last 2 years and there's no reason to believe he won't equal that mark this year (just don't expect any K's). Hughes missed 2 months last year, but showed some real promise when he was on the mound. If he can stay off the DL a breakout season is entirely possible. Mussina is pretty much done, and the only reason the Yanks still trot him out is because they are so thin at SP. This leads right in to Pitcher 5 in the rotation. Kennedy could be solid down the road, but he's just not ready yet. Rivera is still one of the better closers in baseball, but he used to be elite and now he's just above average. Waiting in the wings is young Joba Chamberlain. Who knows how he'll be used this year. No matter how NY uses him he will probably be highly effective. Joba the hut is the closer of the future and he was brilliant in limited action last year.

Projected Outlook
Once again the AL East is going to be an absolute war. The Yankees and Red Sox have been two of the top teams in baseball over the past decade and this year will be no different. You can expect ESPN to overhype every matchup between the two clubs and I'm sure I'll be close to slitting my wrists by the end of each series after having to beat this shit into the ground on-air. Back to the outlook...the Yanks starting pitching is going to be a real pain in the ass for them this year. The line-up should be able to carry them to victories more often than not, but when they are out of sync, it's going to get rough. Still, be ready for another top 2 finish and a good shot at some sort of playoff spot for NYY.

Predicted 2008 Finish: 92-70

2008 Toronto Blue Jays Preview

2007 Record: 83-79, 3rd in AL East

Key Losses: 3B Troy Glaus

Key Additions: SS David Eckstein, 3B Scott Rolen, OF Shannon Stewart



Projected Lineup:
1. David Eckstein SS
2. Alex Rios RF
3. Vernon Wells CF
4. Frank Thomas DH
5. Matt Stairs/Shannon Stewart LF
6. Lyle Overbay 1B
7. Aaron Hill 2B
8. Marco Scutaro 3B
9. Gregg Zaun C
*3B Scott Rolen will return in late May, hitting in the 5 hole and bumping everyone else down one spot.

Lineup Grade: C When Rolen returns, you can maybe tack a + on the end of that, but otherwise there isn't anything special with this lineup, especially when compared to divisional foes Boston and New York, or maybe even Tampa Bay. If Rolen comes back healthy and doesn't look like he has over the past three years (with the exception of October 2006), there may be some pop in the middle of the order, but there are still too many bad players weighing them down.

Projected Rotation:
1. Roy Halladay
2. A.J. Burnett
3. Dustin McGowan
4. Shaun Marcum
5. Jesse Litsch
CL: Jeremy Accardo/B.J. Ryan

Pitching Grade: B Hallady is a certified stud, and Burnett's amazing stuff usually help him overcome what can only be considered a lack of mental focus. The 3-5 guys are young and showed plenty of promise when called up to the majors last year. B.J. Ryan, the 40 Million Dollar Man, still hasn't been a factor for the Jays, despite being under contract for about a year and a half. He is quickly turning into the Mike Hampton of the AL. On the bright side, Accardo was solid as a closer last year so even if Ryan falls off the face of the earth they know who to give the ball to in the 9th inning.

2008 Prediction: The Blue Jays have been shelling out big time bucks but don't have much to show for it. Despite huge contracts for Burnett and Ryan, and picking up the Cardinal's discarded junk, getting Frank Thomas from Oakland is probably the smartest thing the Blue Jays have done recently. For this and many other reasons (see: Yankee and Red Sox payrolls) the Jays are almost sure to miss the playoffs yet again this year. And to add insult to injury, they are still located in Canada.

Projected Record: 80-82

Dangerous MLB 2008 Predictions

Opening day, along with the Masters, are the two ultimate signs that Spring has arrived. And with one of the most exciting baseball season's on tap, its time for Young Swole to make his legendary picks once again.


TEAM PREDICTIONS

AL East Winner - Boston Red Sox
AL Central Winner - Cleveland Indians
AL West Winner - LA Angels
AL Wild Card - Detroit Tigers
AL Pennant - Detroit Tigers

NL East Winner - Atlanta Braves
NL Central Winner - Chicago Cubs
NL West Winner - Arizona D'Backs
NL Wild Card - Milwaukee Brewers
NL Pennant - Atlanta Braves

World Series: Tigers over Braves in 6

Player Predictions
AL MVP - Grady Sizemore
AL Cy Young - Justin Verlander
AL Rookie of the Year - Evan Longoria

NL MVP - Mark Teixeira
NL Cy Young - Jake Peavy
NL Rookie of the Year - Jay Bruce

Bumtastic Awards
AL Shittiest Team - Baltimore Orioles
AL Shittiest Player - Erasmus Rasmer, NY Yankees
AL Biggest Waste of talent - JD Drew, Boston Red Sox

NL Shittiest Team - San Francisco Giants
NL Shittiest Player - Al Reyes, St. Louis
NL Biggest Waste of talent - Andruw Jones, LA Dodgers

Announcer Predictions
Best Game Announcer - Jon Miller, ESPN
Best Color Commentator - Rick Sutcliffe, ESPN
Best Studio Host - Karl Ravech, ESPN
Worst Game Announcer - Joe Buck, Fox
Worst Color Commentator - Steve "Bum" Phillips
Worst Studio Host - Jeannie Zelasko
Most Missed Man in Broadcasting - Harold Reynolds
Best Sideline Reporter - Always and Forever Erin Andrews and her precocious nits

Fan Predictions
Best Fans - Philadelphia Phillies
Worst Fans - Boston Red Sox
Most apathetic fans - Atlanta Braves
Loudest fans - Philadelphia Phillies
Quietest fans - Pittsburgh Pirates (there are none)
Most likely group of fans to get arrested at the ballpark - NY Yankees
Most likely group of fans to like the D: Boston Red Sox

2008 Boston Red Sox Preview

Boston won it all in 2007 which made all their douchebag fans very happy. Will they win it all again this year and make the gayest fans in sports even more unbearable, or will the Sawks championship run mercifully end after one year?

2007 record: 96-66, World Series Champions

Projected Lineup:
1 Jacoby Ellsbury CF
2 Dustin Pedroia 2b
3 David Ortiz DH
4 Manny Ramirez LF
5 Mike Lowell 3b
6 JD Drew RF
7 Kevin Youkilis 1b
8 Jason Varitek C
9 Julio Lugo SS

Lineup Grade: A- The Red Sox will still have one of the most potent lineups in baseball thanks to Manny and Papi. They are also going to have young guys at the top who could provide some needed speed that Julio Lugo never really provided last year. The Sox will probably need their veteran 5-8 hitters to match last year's output to equal the Yankees offensive potential, but its going to be hard for guys like Mike Lowell to put up the same stats again. This is still a really good lineup that should average above 5 runs a game.

Pitching Rotation
1 Josh Beckett
2 Daisuke Matzusaka
3 Tim Wakefield
4 Jon Lester
5 Bartolo Colon
CL Jonathan Papelbon

Pitching Grade: B... Boston's pitching carried them to the title last year, thanks to the heroic efforts of Josh Beckett and a stifling bullpen. This year though, the staff is not nearly as deep. Beckett is already hurt, and Curt Schilling will be out for most of the year. The pen should still be effective, but the questionable starting pitching could be the weakest link on the team. If one of the young guys, Jon Lester or Clay Buchholz steps up though, they could team with Beckett to once again give the Sox a formidable staff.

2008 Prediction: Its never easy to repeat, and the Sox will learn that this year. The Yankees will always give them trouble, and the rest of the division besides the god-awful Orioles has improved. They are still playoff caliber, but will have no margin for error because there are a number of other teams in the AL that have just as good a chance as them to make the playoffs. If they do make it in, their championship experience will go a long way, but its no guarantee they even get that far. If the pitching holds up, and Manny and Papi do their thing, Boston should be playing in October.

2008 Record: 95-67, 1st or 2nd in AL East

2008 Tampa Rays Preview

These aren't your father's Devil Rays. The newly-annointed "Rays" are less devilish and more dangerous, trying not to finish with the worst record in the league this year.

2007 Record: 66-96, Last in AL East

Key Losses: OF Delmon Young, OF Elijah Dukes

Key Additions: P Matt Garza, P Troy Percival, SS Jason Bartlett, DH/OF Cliff Floyd

Projected Lineup:
1. Akinori Iwamura 2B
2. Carl Crawford LF
3. Carlos Pena 1B
4. B.J. Upton CF
5. Cliff Floyd/Rocco Baldelli RF
6. Evan Longoria/Willy Aybar 3B
7. Johnny Gomes DH
8. Dioner Navarro C
9. Jason Bartlett SS

Lineup Grade: B- Theres lots to like about this year's Rays lineup. If Carlos Pena hits anywhere close to the 46 HR's he stroked last year, the heart of this order is as good as any. And who knows maybe Carl Crawford will finally show that power people seem to think he has? Even if he doesn't he will still get on base and score tons of runs and steal tons of bases. There is good speed at the bottoCm of the order with Navarro and Bartlett, so there should always be base-runners to drive in. The only question marks are the RF/DH platoon effort and whether or not super-prospect Evan Longoria is ready for a full season in The Show.

Projected Rotation:
1. James Shields
2. Matt Garza
3. Andy Sonnanstine
4. Jason Hammel
5. Edwin Jackson
CL: Troy Percival
*2007 League Strikeout leader Scott Kazmir will begin season on the DL.

Pitching Grade: C If Kazmir was starting on opening day, this would be a B. Kazmir, Shields, and Garza represents one of the best, if not the best, young pitching nuclei in the league. But without the ace and de facto leader Kazmir, there is considerable drop-off after the 1 & 2 starters. Apparently the Rays have some other young talent in their farm system who can be called on if the 4 & 5 pitchers suck balls. Troy Percival was brilliant in the Cardinals bullpen last year, but without Dave Duncan around, he might fall back to earth faster than Jeff Weaver.

2008 Prediction: Like so many other teams in the American League, the Rays are taking good steps in the right direction, but a lack of deep pockets or the right timing means they will be looking up at the Red Sox and Yankees yet again. On the bright side, they should definitely finish better than last place in the division, which they have done every year of their existence except 2004.

Projected 2008 Record: 74-88

P.S. When I Googled "Tampa Rays" this picture popped up and I thought it should just be included to brighten everyone's day.