Tuesday, January 22, 2008

From the People Who Brought you Spygate... Presenting: Bootgate!!!

Ok, so unless you are currently retarded, I am sure that you have heard the "late-breaking, stop the presses, oh my lord the Giants might have a chance" news that Tom Brady was seen wearing a walking cast on his foot while heading over to Giselle's for a mid-day romp session (btw, look at the picture. Why is he bringing her flowers? He's Tom Fucking Brady. He should walk over wearing only a trench coat and tell her to feel blessed). The picture was captured via TMZ.com (a site that has about as much dignity and respect from this guy as Britney Spears in a nun house). But I digress...

I just want to know... how is this a big deal?! Anyone else think that Darth Belichick is up to no good? I DO!!! Look at the facts: every single fucking week we get an injury report from Pats camp that the entire team has a sprained this, or a bruised that, or a sandy vag. Why does he do this? To both confuse and psych out the other team (I also think that Bill has a secret hatred for all of us fantasy people, although not nearly as much a vendetta that a certain asshole in Denver does... thanks for takin up that roster spot for me Selvin Young).

Anyways, I would not put it past the team to have been sitting in the locker room after the AFC title game, watching the Giants upset the Pack, Bill getting that fucking look on his face, grabbing Tom to the side, saying "Hey man, let's have some fun with this. Let's make everything THINK that you are sore. I mean, we can't possibly lose this game, so we might as well have a little fun with it". Hell, it wouldn't suprise me if maybe Belichick is trying to make up a little bit of the 500K he lost earlier this season with the "recording device which shall name be named"... -gate. My guess is the Evil One is taking the Pats to cover the sprad, but would like to see that spread come down to a normal level, then he is gonna unleash the wolves on the Giants like he did to the Dolphins, Redskins, Cowboys, and other teams in the first half of the season. Can't you imagine Brady "hobbling" on to the field, maybe falling over a little bit, until after the coin flip and all bets are then off, the Pats winning the toss, and him ripping off the cast, tossing it to Eli, then giving that Golden Boy smirk.

Ok, I might have gone a little off the deep end with that comspiracy theory there, but really, this can't be that big of a deal... could it? I'm not putting anything past pure EVIL! Look at Exhibit A and tell me if you agree.


Young Cicero said...

"TOM BRADY INJURY MINOR; high right ankle sprain... Developing..."

this headline just appeared, without source, on www.drudgereport.com. Drudge is pretty much what GDB aspires to be, except instead of being heavy on political, economic, and cultural news with the occasional sports reference, we want to be the opposite.

Young Cicero said...

Oh and the reclusive Matt Drudge doesn't really even blog or write any of his own stuff. He just tells the world's story using headlines and links.