Touchdown Jesus Is Crying...

Here's what you might have heard:

Dana Jacobson, co-host of ESPN2's "First Take," is currently being disciplined for remarks made at a Jan. 11 celebrity roast for ESPN Radio personalities Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic.

Her characterizations of the Notre Dame football program, which have been criticized by a Catholic organization, were deemed "inappropriate" by the network, which issued the following statement from Jacobson:

"I am sorry. My remarks about Notre Dame were foolish and insensitive. I respect all religions and did not mean anything derogatory by my poorly chosen words. I also deeply regret the embarrassment I've caused ESPN and Mike and Mike. My actions at the roast were inappropriate and in no way represent who I am. I won't make excuses for my behavior, but I do hope I can be forgiven for such a poor lack of judgment." -ESPN.com

This is what you'll get from most credible news sources. But if you want to know what this crazy woman actually said and did, well, look no further:

"In a skit where she appeared to be drinking from a bottle of Belvedere Vodka, she reportedly said 'Fuck Notre Dame, 'Fuck Touchdown Jesus,' and 'Fuck Jesus.'"
(source: Michael David Smith @ the AOL Sports Blog "Farmhouse")

Hmm. Wow. I guess it's one thing to laugh at the Arab world for lighting their women on fire when some Dutch cartoonist draws pictures of the prophet Muhammad with a stick of dynamite in his turban. Something else when someone goes nuts on J.C. like that. And this woman is jewish, by the way. And ESPN just suspends her. Well do you remember why Rush Limbaugh got kicked off the Monday Night Football Telecast? (Limbaugh's Comments Touch Off Controversy ) . And how about Don Imus? He got fired for saying "nappy-headed hoes" one time. And some of the girls he was referring to might have had hair fitting the classical and factual definition of nappy, as found in the Urban Dictionary.

Well whatever, no one watches Cold Pizza anyways unless they're real bored. And it's more fun to watch a black guy and a woman fight each other over who gets to be the next President anyway.